1 00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:02,302 Scientific rivalries 2 00:00:02,369 --> 00:00:03,436 are a fact of life. 3 00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:06,239 When two competing scientists work on a project, 4 00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:09,409 it can devolve into an intellectual boxing match. 5 00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:12,178 Over the years, there's been a few classic heavyweight bouts. 6 00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:14,280 Newton and Leibniz. 7 00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:15,415 Tesla and Edison. 8 00:00:15,482 --> 00:00:19,185 And in a lesser-known but equally brutal bout... 9 00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:21,588 Linkletter versus Sturgis, 10 00:00:21,654 --> 00:00:23,790 The Tussle with No Muscle. 11 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,426 Let's see how they stack up 12 00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:28,194 in a tale of the tape. 13 00:00:28,261 --> 00:00:32,432 In the wire frame glasses, the Eureka from Topeka, 14 00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:34,734 Grant Linkletter. 15 00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:38,438 IQ: 159. 16 00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:40,740 Papers published: 272. 17 00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:43,209 Bedtime: 8:30. 18 00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:45,445 And his opponent, 19 00:00:45,512 --> 00:00:47,647 in his favorite sensible shoes, 20 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,283 The Brain from Maine, 21 00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:54,254 John Burgess Sturgis! 22 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,323 IQ: 162. 23 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,793 Papers published: 221. 24 00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:02,495 Bedtime: 7:45 on weekdays, 25 00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:05,198 9:00 on Saturday night. 26 00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:09,736 Fasten your thinking caps and let's get it on. 27 00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:12,439 The free-streaming length of the axion is too long. 28 00:01:12,505 --> 00:01:14,741 It'll erase the fluctuations. 29 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,209 You're completely forgetting 30 00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:18,311 that it is nonrelativistic dark matter. 31 00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:19,746 You'll never have the resolution 32 00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:21,648 to see microkelvin features. 33 00:01:21,714 --> 00:01:24,451 I think your brain is as smooth as the top of your head. 34 00:01:24,517 --> 00:01:26,319 Low blow, Grant. 35 00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:28,688 He's right, gentlemen, let's keep it to science. 36 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,524 You'll never have the resolution 37 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,526 to see microkelvin features. 38 00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:36,496 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 39 00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:39,399 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 40 00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,768 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 41 00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:44,370 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 42 00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:48,575 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 43 00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:58,551 I cannot work with that creepy little know-it-all one more day. 44 00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:01,721 I-I'm sorry, but are we talking about Sheldon or Sturgis? 45 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:05,425 Sturgis. Well, both, but mostly Sturgis. 46 00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:08,328 He's not interested in anyone else's input. 47 00:02:08,394 --> 00:02:10,430 I-I'm sorry, Sheldon or Linkletter? 48 00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:11,431 Linkletter. 49 00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:13,666 Ah, got it. Continue. 50 00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:14,667 Well? 51 00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:16,202 But I thought you wanted 52 00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:18,271 Dr. Sturgis on this project. 53 00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:20,507 I'll admit John has been useful, but now 54 00:02:20,573 --> 00:02:22,275 he's just slowing us down. 55 00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:24,310 Well, he keeps Sheldon happy, 56 00:02:24,377 --> 00:02:26,813 and when Sheldon's happy, he's not in this office. 57 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,549 Well, but when he's not in your office, he's in my office. 58 00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:31,651 Eh, "dem's da breaks." 59 00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:33,419 I was brought in to help 60 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:36,289 but Dr. Linkletter doesn't value my input. 61 00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:39,292 Oh, I hear you. That must be tough. 62 00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:42,695 Ever since he was brought back, he contradicts everything I say. 63 00:02:42,762 --> 00:02:45,665 I hear you. That must be tough. 64 00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:47,300 There was a time when their arguing brought out 65 00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,669 the best in them, but now it's just hindering our work. 66 00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:51,771 I hear you. That must be tough. 67 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,373 Thank you for understanding. 68 00:02:53,439 --> 00:02:55,575 And between us, 69 00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:58,611 I am counting on you being in charge. 70 00:02:58,678 --> 00:02:59,812 Excellent. 71 00:02:59,879 --> 00:03:02,415 You're the alpha dog on this project. 72 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:03,683 Very good. 73 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,319 But shouldn't we tell everyone? 74 00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:09,455 Oh, no, no, no, no. I can't be seen as playing favorites. 75 00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:13,359 But what's important is that I know and you know. 76 00:03:13,426 --> 00:03:14,360 Smart. 77 00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:15,461 But not as smart as you. 78 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,196 Oh. 79 00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:20,300 Which is why, uh, just between us, 80 00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:23,803 I am counting on you to keep the train on the tracks. 81 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,705 Well, I appreciate the vote of confidence. 82 00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:27,807 And the sweet train metaphor. Well, good. 83 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,742 You know, I just want you to be happy. 84 00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:32,478 I guess in a way I'm kind of like the son you never had. 85 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,213 Sure. 86 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,315 Which is nice, because you're far too old 87 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:36,549 to have children now. 88 00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:39,786 And you make me feel okay about that. 89 00:03:39,852 --> 00:03:41,521 Wait. 90 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,658 $20 on pump four, please. 91 00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:47,594 You got it. 92 00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:49,729 Here you go. 93 00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:52,365 What's this? 94 00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:53,766 Promotion for the new lottery. 95 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:55,768 Every ten gallons, you get a free scratcher. 96 00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:57,770 Oh, I don't believe in gambling. 97 00:03:57,837 --> 00:03:58,838 Great, I'll take it. 98 00:03:58,905 --> 00:03:59,872 Oh, I don't believe 99 00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:01,341 you should be gambling, either. 100 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:02,442 So, you don't want it? 101 00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:04,310 No. Then I'm scratching it. 102 00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:06,613 Sorry. Not on my watch. 103 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,682 You can thank me in heaven. 104 00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:16,255 What's this formula? 105 00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:17,757 This wasn't here yesterday. 106 00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:20,259 Dr. Linkletter added it after you left. 107 00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:21,761 Was he trying to be funny? 108 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:24,530 He was giggling at your "feebleminded math." 109 00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:25,531 His words. 110 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:26,766 He's trying to approximate 111 00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:30,036 the cosmic background radiation by setting it 112 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:35,508 at one Rydberg over Z, and my math is feebleminded? 113 00:04:38,544 --> 00:04:39,712 What do you think you're doing? 114 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:42,448 I'm changing the estimate 115 00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:45,518 to Robert Dicke's value of 45 kelvin. 116 00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:48,054 I wasn't here the last time he went off his rocker. 117 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,589 Is this what it looked like? 118 00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:52,291 I'm perfectly sane, and I'm telling you, 119 00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:54,694 Dicke's estimate is the way to go. 120 00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:56,062 And I'm telling you we need to use 121 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,631 one Rydberg over Z, and that is final. 122 00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:02,368 Oh, is it, you albino beanpole? 123 00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:03,436 Dr. Sturgis. 124 00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:06,439 He impugned my mental stability. 125 00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:08,775 Fair enough. Your insult stands. 126 00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:11,411 Thank you. Beanpole. 127 00:05:25,391 --> 00:05:26,526 Ooh. 128 00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:29,562 Oh, man. 129 00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:31,564 God, I swear I'll never ask 130 00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:34,033 for anything again, just one more 500. 131 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,735 Thank you. 132 00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:37,770 Melissa Cooper, what are you doing with that? 133 00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,405 I found it. 134 00:05:39,472 --> 00:05:42,475 Well, it is mine, and I threw it away for a reason. 135 00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:45,378 It's mine now, and I might win 500 bucks. 136 00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:47,413 Oh, no, you won't. 137 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:48,748 I'll split it with you. No. 138 00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:50,483 Why are you being so lame? 139 00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:52,485 Because money does not buy happiness. 140 00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:55,688 Fresh Prince seems pretty happy. 141 00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:57,757 It is not his money, it's his Uncle Phil's! 142 00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:22,648 Half of that's mine. I prayed for it. 143 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:23,850 Go to your room. 144 00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:28,454 You're wasting valuable time. 145 00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:29,655 I'm not, you are. 146 00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:30,857 Gentlemen, if we could please keep 147 00:06:30,923 --> 00:06:32,458 this train on the tracks... 148 00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:33,793 We'll be on track if we follow my plan, 149 00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,728 so I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist. 150 00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:36,829 Insist? 151 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,798 You're not the alpha dog around here. 152 00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:39,799 I agree. 153 00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:41,434 This may be hard for both of you 154 00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:44,637 to hear, but President Hagemeyer put me in charge. 155 00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:46,773 I know for a fact that isn't true, 156 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,475 because she put me in charge. 157 00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:52,411 We may have a problem. 158 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,447 What can I say? 159 00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:55,882 I tried something. 160 00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:01,821 So you really thought 161 00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:02,522 you could tell us we were all in charge 162 00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:04,123 and we wouldn't figure it out? 163 00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:07,193 Well, in my defense, I said to each of you, 164 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,195 "Let's keep this between us." 165 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:12,665 I'm a little disappointed that you broke my trust. 166 00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:15,434 That is true. We're sorry. 167 00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:17,904 Don't apologize for that. We were being manipulated. 168 00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:19,438 You were the one who blabbed first. 169 00:07:19,505 --> 00:07:21,207 That's because you kept slowing us down 170 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,208 with your outmoded ideas. 171 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,710 Gentlemen, if we could just follow my plan... 172 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:25,978 No. No. 173 00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:27,213 Well, I hope that you're starting 174 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:31,083 to see the challenge I faced putting any of you in charge. 175 00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:32,151 You're right, we're sorry. 176 00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:34,220 Stop that. Sorry. 177 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,721 Well, we can't move forward 178 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:37,723 until a project leader is chosen. 179 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:39,458 He's right, I'll do it. 180 00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:41,093 You're a child. You're a child. 181 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,461 Oh, you're all children. 182 00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:44,197 Sorry. Sorry. 183 00:07:45,164 --> 00:07:47,533 Well, who's it gonna be? 184 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,535 Gentlemen, I'm Dr. Carol Lee, 185 00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:52,638 director of the new experimental cosmology center. 186 00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:55,107 What makes you qualified to lead our project? 187 00:07:55,174 --> 00:07:56,742 Yeah. Yeah. 188 00:07:56,809 --> 00:08:00,112 Well, I have a PhD in physics from Berkeley, 189 00:08:00,179 --> 00:08:02,515 I worked at IBM's Watson Research Center 190 00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:04,250 as lead of the materials research group, 191 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,552 and I raised three little boys, 192 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:07,987 which I understand 193 00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:09,789 you've been acting like. 194 00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:13,526 Sounds like she can handle it. 195 00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:15,528 Dear Lord, please forgive me. 196 00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:17,129 I shouldn't have finished that scratcher. 197 00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:18,998 That was wrong. 198 00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:24,270 But now that I have the money, my family could really use it. 199 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:27,106 I know. Gambling is a sin. 200 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:30,109 Although, I didn't buy the scratcher, 201 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,278 so is that even gambling? 202 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,547 Why is Missy saying we're rich? 203 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:39,785 I suggest we mount a radio telescope on the roof 204 00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:41,287 so that we can get a good read 205 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,556 on the fluctuations in radiation. 206 00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:44,690 Excellent. 207 00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:47,760 We'll pick a small region of the sky and drill down. 208 00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:49,762 Whoa, whoa, pump your brakes. 209 00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:52,665 We need at least a 45-square-degree sector 210 00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:55,701 of the sky in order to take any meaningful readings. 211 00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:57,270 That's ridiculous. What we need to do is cut 212 00:08:57,336 --> 00:08:59,705 a single linear section across the horizon. 213 00:08:59,772 --> 00:09:02,008 No, if we don't focus, we won't get any useful data. 214 00:09:02,074 --> 00:09:03,609 I suggest 20 arc minutes max. 215 00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:06,078 The trick is to pick a good spot. 216 00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:09,215 You want a trick? Go see David Copperfield. 217 00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:10,583 How about I make you disappear? 218 00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:13,252 Do I need to separate you? 219 00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:17,256 Or can we try to put our minds together 220 00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:19,992 for the advancement of science? 221 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,228 The second one. 222 00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:24,797 I know you're new here, ma'am, but this is our process. 223 00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:26,732 They argue, I swoop in and save the day. 224 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:28,801 It may seem unorthodox to you, however... 225 00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:32,271 The-the second one. 226 00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:36,108 I'm gonna tell you right now, we can't keep it. 227 00:09:36,175 --> 00:09:39,211 It's not a puppy, Mary, it's 500 bucks. 228 00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:40,746 It is gambling. 229 00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:42,281 Then why'd you buy the ticket? 230 00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:45,251 I didn't buy it. They gave it to me at the gas station. 231 00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:48,788 Okay, well, that sounds like a gift from God. 232 00:09:48,854 --> 00:09:50,156 You don't want to make Him mad. 233 00:09:50,222 --> 00:09:52,358 That is not how God works, George. 234 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:55,061 What if he wanted you to have it to give to the Church? 235 00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:56,762 Well... 236 00:09:56,829 --> 00:09:59,131 Well, uh, based on that, what if he wanted you to have it 237 00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:01,233 so we could buy stuff? George. 238 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:04,103 All I'm saying is, we work hard, we're good people. 239 00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,771 Maybe we deserve this. 240 00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:11,243 I guess a dishwasher might be nice. 241 00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:13,379 There you go. Get a dishwasher. 242 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,681 I don't know. I'll think about it. 243 00:10:15,748 --> 00:10:18,284 What's to think about? Have some fun for once. 244 00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,252 Ooh, we getting something fun with the money? 245 00:10:20,319 --> 00:10:21,787 We're talking about a dishwasher. 246 00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:23,889 When did your dreams die? 247 00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:26,792 When we had kids. George. 248 00:10:26,859 --> 00:10:31,063 I was carrying pulsers 75 feet up 249 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,065 a wet metal ladder 250 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,100 when there was an earthquake. 251 00:10:34,166 --> 00:10:37,303 So, I am hanging on for dear life... 252 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:40,106 Ooh, we should set up several radio telescopes 253 00:10:40,172 --> 00:10:42,375 on different rooftops in an array. 254 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,079 You speak Mandarin. 255 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,791 I heard my name. What are they saying? 256 00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:00,993 I don't speak Mandarin. Just a little French. 257 00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:02,862 Oh, really? 258 00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:07,400 Ha! 259 00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:14,006 Well, does anyone here speak Klingon? 260 00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:26,185 Dr. Lee? Sheldon. 261 00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:28,020 May I have a moment of your time? 262 00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:29,989 Of course, come in. 263 00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:31,791 Sit. 264 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:33,993 How can I help you? 265 00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:37,229 I feel like my contributions aren't being taken seriously. 266 00:11:37,296 --> 00:11:40,366 Oh, well, I'm sorry you feel that way, 267 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:43,302 but I'm listening to everyone's contributions. 268 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,204 But you're not taking any of mine. 269 00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:48,140 No. But Drs. Linkletter and Sturgis 270 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,376 seem happy with the direction we're headed. 271 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,045 Well, I think it's because 272 00:11:53,112 --> 00:11:56,015 you're using your feminine wiles. 273 00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:58,784 And what exactly do you think that means? 274 00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,319 I'm not sure, but you are wearing lip gloss 275 00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:02,755 and seem to have good hygiene. 276 00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:04,924 And if you're trying to use them on me, it's not going to work. 277 00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:08,260 Sheldon, I assure you 278 00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:08,928 that I'm just trying to do 279 00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:10,329 what's best for the project. 280 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,198 Excellent, then you'll want to set up 281 00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:14,033 several telescopes in an array. 282 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:17,036 I hear you, but... ghobe'. 283 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:20,239 Wait, that's "no" in Klingon. Do you speak Klingon? 284 00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:21,841 I looked up that one word. 285 00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:24,844 I had a feeling it would come in handy. 286 00:12:29,215 --> 00:12:32,184 Ooh, look at the Ultra-Clean Two. 287 00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:34,220 It's got five washing cycles. 288 00:12:34,286 --> 00:12:37,089 I don't know, George, these are really expensive. 289 00:12:37,156 --> 00:12:40,292 You won the money. Spend it. 290 00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:43,362 Maybe we should just get a more affordable one. 291 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:47,166 Everything we do is affordable. Uh... splurge for once. 292 00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:48,968 It's so extravagant. 293 00:12:49,034 --> 00:12:50,136 You'd think we were talking about 294 00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:51,237 buying a party boat. 295 00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:53,906 It's a dishwasher, for crying out loud. 296 00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:57,376 But the way we got the money, it just doesn't feel right. 297 00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,979 So you're telling me you're never okay 298 00:13:00,045 --> 00:13:01,814 with bending the rules once in a while? 299 00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:04,083 That's not how being a Christian works. 300 00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:07,119 Good to know. 301 00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:09,722 What are you doing? 302 00:13:09,788 --> 00:13:12,091 Oh, just helping you be a good Christian. 303 00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:18,230 Dr. Lee had commandeered the project, 304 00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:21,000 and Drs. Linkletter and Sturgis were okay with it. 305 00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:24,403 Everyone was being mean, and I was out of my depth. 306 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,173 I needed advice on how to proceed. 307 00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:29,141 Thankfully, I was mere feet away 308 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:30,943 from the person who had been mean to me 309 00:13:31,010 --> 00:13:33,379 since she tried strangling me with her umbilical cord. 310 00:13:33,445 --> 00:13:35,147 What? 311 00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:37,850 So, this Dr. Lee is turning your friends against you? 312 00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:39,084 Essentially. 313 00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:40,419 Classic move. 314 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,121 Most girls you find crying in the school bathroom, 315 00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:43,222 that was it. 316 00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:44,423 What do I do? 317 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,991 Well, you're in a tough spot 318 00:13:46,058 --> 00:13:48,194 'cause your personality is ugh. 319 00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:50,062 There's enough people being mean to me right now. 320 00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:51,063 Sorry. 321 00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:52,097 Can you help me or not? 322 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:54,900 It's you against a bunch of college professors. 323 00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:56,368 I don't think you can win this one. 324 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,240 Oh. Do any of them have pimples? 325 00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:02,908 No. 326 00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:05,311 Too bad, I've done a lot of damage with "pizza face." 327 00:14:07,313 --> 00:14:09,048 He just took the ticket 328 00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:10,149 and stormed off. 329 00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:13,052 I don't know why he cares so much about a dishwasher. 330 00:14:13,118 --> 00:14:14,620 Maybe it ain't about the dishwasher. 331 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,855 Well, what is it, then? 332 00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:18,924 Mary, I love you, but sometimes it's kind of like 333 00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:21,327 you're waging a war on fun. 334 00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:24,630 Why? Because I have values? 335 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,099 Well, too bad because they're not going away. 336 00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:29,435 Oh, and fun is down for the count. 337 00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:31,637 500 bucks? 338 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,939 I guess drinks are on you. 339 00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:37,176 Fine, but is that all you got from my story? 340 00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:39,211 It's called lightening the mood, George. 341 00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:41,180 Sorry. 342 00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:43,482 But I do think you're overreacting. 343 00:14:44,516 --> 00:14:46,252 Come on. 344 00:14:46,318 --> 00:14:48,921 I... Would it kill her to loosen up once in a while? 345 00:14:48,988 --> 00:14:51,090 Maybe that's just not who she is. 346 00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:54,460 What if it is, just not with me? 347 00:14:54,526 --> 00:14:56,028 Well, what does that mean? 348 00:14:57,162 --> 00:14:58,897 The other night I drove by the church 349 00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:00,966 and I saw Mary and that new youth pastor 350 00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:04,403 just hanging out on the curb, laughing and smoking cigarettes. 351 00:15:06,438 --> 00:15:08,240 Yeah? And? 352 00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:09,642 Well, that's not enough? 353 00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:12,077 Well, is smoking even a sin? 354 00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:14,413 'Cause I still light up after a roll in the hay. 355 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:19,251 The point is, she's capable of being fun, just... 356 00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:21,086 not with me. 357 00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:23,222 It's not like I don't want to be fun, 358 00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:24,256 but I feel like 359 00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:27,126 I am the only one holding the family together. 360 00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:30,129 Mary, can I point out that you weren't exactly like this 361 00:15:30,195 --> 00:15:31,997 when y'all got married? 362 00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:33,999 So? I'm not allowed to grow? 363 00:15:34,066 --> 00:15:36,468 Apart? Okay. 364 00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:40,172 What made you and your wife call it quits? 365 00:15:40,239 --> 00:15:41,674 George, let me tell you something. 366 00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:43,676 Getting divorced sucks. 367 00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:46,145 I know. You don't. 368 00:15:46,211 --> 00:15:48,981 If you think you're upset about a $500 scratcher, 369 00:15:49,048 --> 00:15:52,151 try sitting home alone with half your money gone. 370 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:54,286 I thought you were gonna say something 371 00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:55,421 about love and vows. 372 00:15:55,487 --> 00:15:57,256 Half, George. 373 00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:59,158 And it wasn't a lot when it was a whole. 374 00:15:59,224 --> 00:16:01,093 I said I'd buy your drinks. 375 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,361 Well, thank you. 376 00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:04,663 Wings wouldn't hurt, either. 377 00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:06,098 My sister thought I was in 378 00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:07,333 an unwinnable situation, 379 00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:09,168 but I knew someone else who faced 380 00:16:09,234 --> 00:16:13,072 a no-win scenario and prevailed: one James Tiberius Kirk. 381 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,441 The Kobayashi Maru was a simulation 382 00:16:15,507 --> 00:16:18,310 designed to be unbeatable, but Kirk snuck in 383 00:16:18,377 --> 00:16:20,212 and reprogrammed it so he could win. 384 00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:23,082 All I needed to do was put my scanning coordinates 385 00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:26,318 into Dr. Lee's radio telescope to prove I was correct. 386 00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:29,254 It was time for my sneaky face. 387 00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:36,128 Hey. 388 00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:37,496 Hi. 389 00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:40,299 This is yours. 390 00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:42,267 And if you don't feel right spending it, 391 00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:44,403 then you should do whatever you want with it. 392 00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:46,505 Thank you. 393 00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:53,746 You know, I've been thinking that 394 00:16:53,812 --> 00:16:54,847 maybe it isn't 395 00:16:54,913 --> 00:16:58,417 the end of the world if we spend it on something fun. 396 00:16:58,484 --> 00:17:00,085 Really? 397 00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:03,055 Yeah, something the family could enjoy. 398 00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:04,723 Well... 399 00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:06,358 we haven't been on vacation in a long time. 400 00:17:06,425 --> 00:17:08,260 Oh... 401 00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:09,762 Oh. 402 00:17:09,828 --> 00:17:12,131 We could go to Houston, see the Ice Capades. 403 00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:14,466 Let's keep thinking. 404 00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:19,638 The next evening, I put my plan into action. 405 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,373 I was just like Captain Kirk, 406 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,309 if Captain Kirk had to bum a ride from his meemaw. 407 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:27,079 All I needed to do was get into Dr. Lee's office 408 00:17:27,146 --> 00:17:29,148 and swap the coordinates. 409 00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:30,315 Nothing could stop me. 410 00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:34,386 Dang it. 411 00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:36,455 Well, here's to male egos 412 00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:38,223 and all the fun that comes with them. 413 00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:42,594 You've had to deal with that a lot, huh? 414 00:17:42,661 --> 00:17:44,596 The first month I was here, people kept assuming 415 00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:46,632 I was the president's secretary. 416 00:17:46,698 --> 00:17:48,634 Did you correct them? 417 00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:51,603 No, I just told them that the president was too busy 418 00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:54,173 to see them and then I cut their funding. 419 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,442 That must have felt good. 420 00:17:56,508 --> 00:17:59,678 Ah, it was like taking off my bra at the end of a long day. 421 00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:02,381 Mm-hmm. But I don't have to tell you. 422 00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:06,151 Can you believe there were only three women in my major? 423 00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:07,653 Oh, at least you had each other. 424 00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:09,588 Those bitches? Pass. 425 00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:11,457 What about the guys? 426 00:18:11,523 --> 00:18:13,258 Either too scared to talk to me 427 00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:15,360 or trying to talk me into being horizontal. 428 00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,529 Oh, yeah, I hear that. Mm-hmm. Mm. 429 00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:20,632 I've even had projects sabotaged just to make me look bad. 430 00:18:20,699 --> 00:18:22,534 You're kidding. Nope. 431 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:38,684 Well, what did you do? 432 00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:40,619 Well, eventually I realized, 433 00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:43,322 I'm an experimental physicist. 434 00:18:43,388 --> 00:18:46,625 I can build anything I want to protect my work. 435 00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:54,500 And thanks to my kids, 436 00:18:54,566 --> 00:18:58,504 I am very familiar with the movie Home Alone. 437 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,542 After a lot of apologizing, a little begging 438 00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:05,277 and a note from my mother, 439 00:19:05,344 --> 00:19:08,213 I was allowed to keep my role on the team. 440 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:09,748 When Captain Kirk faced the no-win scenario, 441 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,583 he didn't have blue and yellow snot for a week. 442 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,452 Ew. 443 00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:22,261 Sounds like the ocean. 444 00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:23,362 Oh, it is very relaxing. 445 00:19:23,428 --> 00:19:24,496 Kind of makes 446 00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:26,598 the rest of the kitchen look trashy. 447 00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:28,734 Ooh, it has a temperature boost sensor. 448 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,202 What's that? 449 00:19:30,269 --> 00:19:31,603 It makes sure the water is heated 450 00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,472 to the correct temperature for ideal cleaning 451 00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:35,474 and drying results. Ooh. 452 00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:37,776 Where are you going? 453 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,578 You're gonna miss the rinse cycle. 454 00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,179 I'm not missing anything. 455 00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:44,383 Oh, it beeped. Look up "beep." 456 00:19:49,788 --> 00:19:52,724 Captioning sponsored by CBS 457 00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:58,730 WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 458 00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:01,800 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org