1 00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:44,623 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:01:07,745 --> 00:01:09,114 - Hey! - Hey, babe. 3 00:01:09,247 --> 00:01:11,049 I got lost. 4 00:01:11,183 --> 00:01:13,285 - I'm here now. - It's fine. 5 00:01:14,785 --> 00:01:16,154 Yes! 6 00:01:16,654 --> 00:01:17,988 Neil! 7 00:01:30,569 --> 00:01:32,636 Hi, babe, it's good to see you! 8 00:02:43,108 --> 00:02:44,042 Hi. 9 00:02:48,046 --> 00:02:50,415 - Do you have a cigarette? - Yeah. 10 00:02:51,216 --> 00:02:52,950 - Amazing. - Of course. 11 00:02:53,552 --> 00:02:55,287 I'm trying to hide it from my husband, 12 00:02:55,420 --> 00:02:57,888 and I can't carry a pack on me, and I'm just dying for one. 13 00:02:58,089 --> 00:03:01,226 Thank you. Also, everyone vapes, right? 14 00:03:01,359 --> 00:03:03,328 It's so hard to find anyone with a cig... 15 00:03:06,997 --> 00:03:09,767 Thank you so much. 16 00:03:11,869 --> 00:03:13,205 Do you remember me? 17 00:03:15,706 --> 00:03:16,874 You don't, do you? 18 00:03:19,009 --> 00:03:21,079 No, I'm so sorry. I don't. I, no, um... 19 00:03:21,379 --> 00:03:25,417 Was it... was it a book thing? 20 00:03:26,418 --> 00:03:29,054 It was in New York. With a lot of my friends. 21 00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:35,826 No, I... I have no idea what you're talking about. 22 00:03:36,827 --> 00:03:38,063 You don't know Simon? 23 00:03:38,729 --> 00:03:41,333 Simon... Oh! Simon Soga? 24 00:03:41,466 --> 00:03:45,170 Simon Brickner. He, he brought you. 25 00:03:45,936 --> 00:03:47,771 A bunch of my friends were there. 26 00:03:54,079 --> 00:03:55,080 And you're definitely not getting me 27 00:03:55,213 --> 00:03:56,414 confused with someone else? 28 00:03:57,682 --> 00:03:59,016 No. No. 29 00:04:00,485 --> 00:04:02,753 You don't remember Simon? 30 00:04:04,855 --> 00:04:06,258 How is that possible? 31 00:04:07,858 --> 00:04:09,494 Was this, um... 32 00:04:11,496 --> 00:04:12,997 when I lost my dog? 33 00:04:14,232 --> 00:04:15,400 You lost your dog? 34 00:06:44,749 --> 00:06:46,016 Do you forget all your works 35 00:06:46,151 --> 00:06:47,318 after you write them? 36 00:06:52,857 --> 00:06:55,993 "The more she listened, the more Claire realized 37 00:06:56,127 --> 00:06:57,128 it didn't matter. 38 00:06:57,462 --> 00:06:59,030 She simply did not speak 39 00:06:59,164 --> 00:07:00,665 the language." 40 00:07:00,931 --> 00:07:04,202 "Does memory even matter? Syntax or conjugations... 41 00:07:04,335 --> 00:07:05,936 Comprehend that now she is alone... 42 00:07:06,070 --> 00:07:07,539 There's a certain... 43 00:07:07,772 --> 00:07:09,940 Except for the sounds in room two, three, four..." 44 00:07:29,394 --> 00:07:30,562 Hey, uh, can I help you find something? 45 00:07:30,695 --> 00:07:32,263 No. No, just... 46 00:08:25,083 --> 00:08:26,784 ...Two dollars. Sorry. 47 00:09:05,123 --> 00:09:07,525 May I help you? 48 00:09:08,893 --> 00:09:10,228 May I help you? 49 00:09:11,329 --> 00:09:13,064 No response. Thank you. 50 00:09:13,197 --> 00:09:14,465 You're welcome, ma'am. 51 00:09:14,599 --> 00:09:16,367 All right, goodb... 52 00:10:20,898 --> 00:10:23,434 He was really conservative... 53 00:10:36,981 --> 00:10:38,316 So, like, so important... 54 00:10:40,052 --> 00:10:41,152 Yeah... 55 00:10:42,054 --> 00:10:43,221 She's bisexual... 56 00:10:43,521 --> 00:10:45,124 In middle school, I was the herb, 57 00:10:45,256 --> 00:10:48,826 and then high school came, and, like, everything changed. 58 00:10:49,193 --> 00:10:52,131 That's when, like, everybody wanted to start talking to me, 59 00:10:52,397 --> 00:10:54,033 and all of that. It all changed. 60 00:10:54,599 --> 00:10:56,135 But that was going towards, like... 61 00:10:56,267 --> 00:10:58,403 when I hit my sophomore year, like, 62 00:10:58,603 --> 00:10:59,971 I got poppin', like, 63 00:11:00,571 --> 00:11:03,441 well, I'm not saying that I'm like, you know, poppin' or anything. 64 00:11:03,574 --> 00:11:05,977 I'm just saying, people wanted to talk to me 65 00:11:06,377 --> 00:11:07,545 and stuff. 66 00:11:32,737 --> 00:11:35,540 - Do you believe in God? - No. 67 00:11:37,642 --> 00:11:39,844 Have you been in love? 68 00:11:40,611 --> 00:11:41,412 Yes. 69 00:11:41,612 --> 00:11:43,115 Are you in love now? 70 00:11:43,481 --> 00:11:45,249 Probably, and it's horrible. 71 00:11:46,718 --> 00:11:48,120 Why is it horrible? 72 00:11:48,653 --> 00:11:52,091 Um, because instead of it being all, like, sunshine and rainbows, 73 00:11:52,223 --> 00:11:56,195 it's more of, like, a black hole in the middle of nowhere 74 00:11:56,327 --> 00:11:57,595 that you can't really get out of, 75 00:11:57,729 --> 00:11:59,198 and then when you are getting out of it, 76 00:11:59,330 --> 00:12:01,799 you slip back deeper into the hole. 77 00:12:02,366 --> 00:12:03,568 Yeah. 78 00:12:05,636 --> 00:12:07,139 That's really awful. 79 00:12:08,107 --> 00:12:09,974 But have you ever been in love before? 80 00:12:12,844 --> 00:12:15,413 Yeah, I think so. I, um... 81 00:12:19,218 --> 00:12:20,651 You know, I don't know. I... 82 00:12:22,687 --> 00:12:24,522 I don't actually remember that. 83 00:13:30,421 --> 00:13:31,789 Excuse me, ma'am. 84 00:13:32,124 --> 00:13:33,324 Are you Jewish? 85 00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:36,594 - Are you Jewish? - Huh? 86 00:13:36,727 --> 00:13:38,096 Are you Jewish, ma'am? 87 00:13:38,663 --> 00:13:40,165 - Are you Jewish? - I don't know. 88 00:13:40,865 --> 00:13:43,768 - What's... What? - I d... I don't know. 89 00:13:44,169 --> 00:13:45,369 Are you Jewish? 90 00:13:46,404 --> 00:13:48,005 I don't know. I don't know. 91 00:13:48,140 --> 00:13:49,674 Have a... Have a good night. 92 00:13:49,807 --> 00:13:51,409 Have a good night. 93 00:14:21,405 --> 00:14:25,077 ...Call and ask if they can cut me a break, please. 94 00:14:27,312 --> 00:14:29,314 Damn, it's... It's really like that. 95 00:14:29,447 --> 00:14:30,514 It's a cold world. 96 00:14:31,083 --> 00:14:33,484 Never forget, man. It's a cold world. 97 00:14:35,853 --> 00:14:38,956 Excuse me, Miss. Sorry to bother you. 98 00:14:46,031 --> 00:14:49,400 Um, would you like to buy any of these hot dogs? 99 00:14:50,369 --> 00:14:52,304 - Uh-uh. - No? 100 00:14:52,703 --> 00:14:56,707 Okay. Like, I'm not a hot dog enthusiast. 101 00:14:56,841 --> 00:14:58,776 I'm not out here trying to buy a billion hot dogs. 102 00:14:58,910 --> 00:15:00,478 It's a credit card minimum. 103 00:15:01,479 --> 00:15:02,747 No. 104 00:15:03,315 --> 00:15:05,750 Yeah, they wouldn't let me get just two. It's ridiculous. 105 00:15:06,385 --> 00:15:07,585 Sorry. 106 00:15:08,419 --> 00:15:10,222 Damn, you're killin' me. Okay. 107 00:15:10,755 --> 00:15:16,194 Um... how about I'll give you a hot dog for free. 108 00:15:16,361 --> 00:15:17,561 And at the end, 109 00:15:17,895 --> 00:15:20,198 you'll want to pay me because they're so savory. 110 00:15:20,598 --> 00:15:23,135 I, I think I'm vegetarian. 111 00:15:23,467 --> 00:15:26,171 - Oh, you a vegetarian? - Yeah. 112 00:15:26,504 --> 00:15:27,638 Oh, damn. Okay. 113 00:15:28,173 --> 00:15:29,674 That's pretty cool that you're a vegetarian. 114 00:15:29,807 --> 00:15:31,310 I think I'm gluten intolerant, 115 00:15:31,676 --> 00:15:33,111 and I just come here, like... 116 00:15:33,245 --> 00:15:34,812 I know I'm not supposed to eat the buns, 117 00:15:34,946 --> 00:15:36,881 but I eat the buns anyway, man. They're too good. 118 00:15:39,517 --> 00:15:42,087 Yo... if you're vegetarian, 119 00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:44,488 why are you eating at Papaya Dog? 120 00:15:45,424 --> 00:15:46,624 Um... 121 00:15:48,592 --> 00:15:50,395 I just wanted to take a break, 122 00:15:50,528 --> 00:15:51,996 but don't tell them. 123 00:15:54,399 --> 00:15:58,502 I won't tell him. 124 00:16:04,209 --> 00:16:06,677 Why, why... What do you even put on those? 125 00:16:06,811 --> 00:16:09,880 'Cause they look, like, very dry. 126 00:16:10,349 --> 00:16:13,851 I put on ketchup and mustard. 127 00:16:14,186 --> 00:16:17,655 That's how I roll. My momma, my brother, my sister, 128 00:16:17,922 --> 00:16:19,091 they just put ketchup. 129 00:16:19,224 --> 00:16:20,992 Conformists. Can't fuck with them. 130 00:16:21,926 --> 00:16:23,095 What about your dad? 131 00:16:24,363 --> 00:16:26,497 Man, I don't even want to talk about my dad, man. 132 00:16:26,630 --> 00:16:27,631 He's an asshole. 133 00:16:28,133 --> 00:16:29,934 Because of what he puts on hot dogs? 134 00:16:30,202 --> 00:16:32,937 Not because of what he puts on his hot dogs, man. 135 00:16:33,071 --> 00:16:36,108 Like, I, I wish it was 'cause of what he put on his hot dogs. 136 00:16:36,974 --> 00:16:39,044 I can't even start, like... 137 00:16:39,577 --> 00:16:41,179 He's just an asshole, man. 138 00:16:42,114 --> 00:16:43,181 That's terrible. 139 00:16:44,882 --> 00:16:46,418 I appreciate you saying that. 140 00:16:47,219 --> 00:16:49,421 I don't really want to be in that space right now. 141 00:16:49,687 --> 00:16:52,190 Uh, you want to pay me for these hot dogs? 142 00:16:53,125 --> 00:16:53,991 No. 143 00:16:54,493 --> 00:16:56,395 Yo, but you were, you were just playing with it. 144 00:16:56,527 --> 00:16:59,097 You were touching it. You're killing the resale. 145 00:16:59,530 --> 00:17:00,731 No 146 00:17:01,599 --> 00:17:03,201 No? Mmm. 147 00:17:03,768 --> 00:17:05,970 You want to buy some weed off me? 148 00:17:07,671 --> 00:17:08,639 No. 149 00:17:09,041 --> 00:17:10,941 Uh, do you want to smoke some weed with me? 150 00:17:15,713 --> 00:17:17,049 Okay, I respect that. 151 00:17:17,315 --> 00:17:21,786 Um, I'm getting out of here. Uh, wanna come with me? 152 00:17:26,657 --> 00:17:27,825 Okay. 153 00:17:28,659 --> 00:17:31,329 All right, cool. Cool! Damn. Okay. 154 00:17:32,364 --> 00:17:33,564 Very cool. 155 00:17:33,931 --> 00:17:35,800 But you've left your hot dogs. 156 00:17:36,101 --> 00:17:38,669 I'm a vegetarian now. You've inspired me. 157 00:17:43,908 --> 00:17:45,709 And gluten intolerant. 158 00:17:46,411 --> 00:17:47,645 And gluten intolerant. 159 00:17:48,113 --> 00:17:50,014 I, I'm just all of it. I can't eat anything. 160 00:17:50,148 --> 00:17:51,982 I'm slowly starving to death. 161 00:18:02,127 --> 00:18:04,296 - Do you have any siblings? - I don't know. 162 00:18:05,596 --> 00:18:07,165 What? You don't know? 163 00:18:07,332 --> 00:18:08,567 Uhm-hm. 164 00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:10,168 What is... 165 00:18:10,302 --> 00:18:12,337 Maybe, maybe you have some long-lost siblings 166 00:18:12,471 --> 00:18:13,438 who you don't know. 167 00:18:13,604 --> 00:18:15,840 Yeah. Yeah, maybe. 168 00:18:16,308 --> 00:18:19,411 Maybe I do too, 'cause my dad was fuckin' horny. 169 00:18:19,777 --> 00:18:21,645 - What? - My dad was horny. 170 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,248 Horny as in, like...? 171 00:18:23,381 --> 00:18:25,283 He's covered in horns. He's very sharp. 172 00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:26,617 You can't get near him. 173 00:18:27,252 --> 00:18:29,187 Oh, so you mean, like, maybe he's got off with other people? 174 00:18:29,421 --> 00:18:31,123 Yeah, he's got off with other people. 175 00:18:35,826 --> 00:18:36,894 You're very warm world. 176 00:18:37,028 --> 00:18:38,430 What is warm world? 177 00:18:38,796 --> 00:18:40,398 Warm world is like, um... 178 00:18:41,399 --> 00:18:43,535 that's like the words, "I love you." 179 00:18:44,202 --> 00:18:46,104 It's like, like saying, "I love you." 180 00:18:46,438 --> 00:18:48,906 That's, that's a good example of something warm world. 181 00:18:49,207 --> 00:18:52,277 Or, you had a bad day, why'd you have a bad day? 182 00:18:52,910 --> 00:18:56,481 Or when a, like, a polar bear, like, 183 00:18:57,082 --> 00:18:59,184 nests her cubs, and, like... 184 00:18:59,518 --> 00:19:00,885 makes sure they're warm. 185 00:19:01,052 --> 00:19:03,721 - That's warm world. - Oh, my God. That's great. 186 00:19:03,854 --> 00:19:05,257 There's an opposite of that, too. 187 00:19:05,524 --> 00:19:06,625 Hmm? 188 00:19:06,824 --> 00:19:08,460 - Cold world. - What's cold world? 189 00:19:08,659 --> 00:19:12,030 Cold world is, like, "Yo, are you cryin'?" 190 00:19:12,164 --> 00:19:13,764 Ladies and gentlemen... 191 00:19:13,898 --> 00:19:15,534 "Man the fuck up. Why are you crying?" 192 00:19:15,666 --> 00:19:17,035 Cold world is like... 193 00:19:17,502 --> 00:19:19,204 The next uptown local train is now arriving. 194 00:19:19,337 --> 00:19:21,906 It's like a boot stepping on another person's face. 195 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:23,375 - A what? - A boot. 196 00:19:23,508 --> 00:19:25,243 - What's a boo? - It's like a heavy shoe. 197 00:19:25,477 --> 00:19:28,113 - Like a big shoe. - A... Oh, shoe! 198 00:19:28,547 --> 00:19:30,915 You've gotta say the "T", man. Otherwise, I didn't get it. 199 00:19:31,049 --> 00:19:32,950 - A boot. - A boot. 200 00:19:42,060 --> 00:19:43,894 Thirty-fourth Street. 201 00:19:52,671 --> 00:19:53,804 Thanks. 202 00:19:57,542 --> 00:19:58,842 Appreciate. 203 00:19:59,644 --> 00:20:00,844 Fine. 204 00:20:02,647 --> 00:20:07,252 I do feel like I just need to find this girl, though. 205 00:20:12,090 --> 00:20:14,559 - I need to find someone. - Yo... 206 00:20:15,227 --> 00:20:18,296 Oh, dear. I need to find... I need to find a girl. 207 00:20:19,030 --> 00:20:21,066 - I need to find this girl. - Hey, hey, hey. 208 00:20:21,199 --> 00:20:23,235 - We can fin... - What? Don't touch... Don't. 209 00:20:28,273 --> 00:20:30,075 Was it something I said, man? 210 00:20:37,915 --> 00:20:39,517 Did I say something wrong? 211 00:20:41,219 --> 00:20:43,321 It's just a little weird that you need to find some girl. 212 00:20:43,455 --> 00:20:44,422 It's not weird. 213 00:20:46,757 --> 00:20:48,093 Let's just keep walking, okay? 214 00:20:48,792 --> 00:20:50,228 - Yeah? - Yeah. 215 00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:57,535 Where are we going again? 216 00:20:57,702 --> 00:21:00,171 Uh, we're going to my hiding spot for my weed, 217 00:21:00,305 --> 00:21:01,805 'cause my mom searches my room. 218 00:21:02,006 --> 00:21:02,906 Where is it? 219 00:21:03,508 --> 00:21:05,043 Where is it? You'll see. You'll see. 220 00:21:05,176 --> 00:21:06,944 We're really close, actually. 221 00:22:05,537 --> 00:22:08,206 So many people tell me the exact same thing. 222 00:22:10,608 --> 00:22:13,111 - And what? What's that? - I don't know. 223 00:22:13,244 --> 00:22:15,080 It's just a little bit beyond my grasp, 224 00:22:15,213 --> 00:22:16,147 every single time. 225 00:22:16,281 --> 00:22:17,515 But you're close, though. 226 00:22:17,649 --> 00:22:18,750 I'm so close. 227 00:22:18,982 --> 00:22:20,218 Yeah, I so identify with that. 228 00:22:20,352 --> 00:22:22,620 I think it's all just beyond my grasp too, 229 00:22:22,754 --> 00:22:24,456 and I feel like I'm just about to get there, 230 00:22:24,589 --> 00:22:28,159 and then it just... yeah, it slips away. 231 00:22:29,327 --> 00:22:32,030 You don't have it. 232 00:22:38,770 --> 00:22:39,970 I don't. 233 00:22:41,506 --> 00:22:43,775 Nah, but nobody really has it forever. 234 00:22:55,919 --> 00:22:59,557 I don't remember who I am... 235 00:23:02,527 --> 00:23:04,462 or where I'm supposed to go. 236 00:23:11,603 --> 00:23:12,970 And all of my memories 237 00:23:13,471 --> 00:23:16,940 begin with me walking among these people, and... 238 00:23:19,144 --> 00:23:21,513 and I don't want anyone to know that. 239 00:23:38,996 --> 00:23:41,266 Closed. Closed. 240 00:23:46,171 --> 00:23:47,705 - No? - We're closed.. 241 00:24:13,198 --> 00:24:14,265 Hello, how are you? 242 00:24:14,399 --> 00:24:15,667 Hi. Some hot water. 243 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,670 Hot water? How are you, good? 244 00:24:26,110 --> 00:24:29,147 That $2.50, please. $2.50. 245 00:24:31,282 --> 00:24:33,818 - Oh, I've left my bag at the... - Huh? 246 00:24:34,419 --> 00:24:37,822 I've left my, my bag at the... 247 00:24:39,157 --> 00:24:41,092 What do you mean you left your bag over there? 248 00:24:41,226 --> 00:24:42,993 - Why you come if you have no bag? - I'll come back in a minute. 249 00:24:43,127 --> 00:24:45,263 Can you just gi... 'Cause you put the water in it now. Can... 250 00:24:45,396 --> 00:24:47,565 I know I put the water, but why you don't told me before? 251 00:24:47,699 --> 00:24:49,267 - Before I opened it? - Because I forgot. 252 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,102 I'm really hungry. I haven't eaten. Can I please... 253 00:24:51,236 --> 00:24:52,871 Everybody's saying the same thing. 254 00:24:53,438 --> 00:24:55,540 I mean, it's only going to waste if I go back and come back, and I won't... 255 00:24:55,773 --> 00:24:57,709 I know, But you should tell me before I opened it. 256 00:24:58,309 --> 00:25:00,278 I know, but I live around the corner. I'll bring it... I'll bring it in a second. 257 00:25:00,545 --> 00:25:02,514 - This is the first time I know you. - I'm really hungry. 258 00:25:02,647 --> 00:25:04,482 - No, I can't do it. - I haven't eaten today, 259 00:25:04,883 --> 00:25:06,384 so can you please just... If you're not going to give it to anyone else... 260 00:25:06,518 --> 00:25:07,819 You should've told me before I opened it. No. 261 00:25:07,952 --> 00:25:09,454 You see what you did? Go bring and come back. 262 00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:23,861 Okay, so, like... 263 00:26:24,095 --> 00:26:25,530 It's me, like, 264 00:26:25,830 --> 00:26:29,400 I'm afraid I'm gonna be addicted to, like, substances... 265 00:26:30,134 --> 00:26:31,469 like, that are bad. 266 00:26:31,669 --> 00:26:34,305 Like, I don't know, like alcohol and stuff like that. 267 00:26:34,439 --> 00:26:36,075 Like, I'm afraid I'm gonna do that. 268 00:26:36,507 --> 00:26:39,110 Um. Yeah, that's why I'm trying to live... 269 00:26:39,477 --> 00:26:40,645 Carefree. 270 00:26:41,312 --> 00:26:43,082 Yeah, I'm trying to... Um, yeah. I don't think about that often, 271 00:26:43,214 --> 00:26:48,019 but you know... I, like, stay away from drinking and stuff. 272 00:26:49,054 --> 00:26:51,255 Is that because of something in your history? 273 00:26:51,990 --> 00:26:55,593 Yeah, 'cause, like, family stuff. Yeah. 274 00:26:56,095 --> 00:26:57,428 Aw, I'm sorry. 275 00:26:58,863 --> 00:27:01,666 Yeah. I mean, what can you do? I mean, it's not like... 276 00:27:01,866 --> 00:27:03,568 I mean, it's not my fault, but... 277 00:27:03,701 --> 00:27:04,769 Like... 278 00:27:05,570 --> 00:27:07,872 Like, I know, like, I know a lot of people who met in high school and stuff. 279 00:27:08,439 --> 00:27:09,907 I guess, it's more just, like, 280 00:27:10,042 --> 00:27:12,810 I just haven't, like, felt that way ever. 281 00:27:12,944 --> 00:27:14,812 I don't know. I think the reason why is 'cause, 282 00:27:14,946 --> 00:27:17,215 like, if love is, like, a one in a million thing 283 00:27:17,348 --> 00:27:20,551 and I've met 20 people, then, like, my odds are, like, slim. 284 00:27:20,785 --> 00:27:22,320 So, maybe it'll happen when I go to college. 285 00:27:22,453 --> 00:27:23,821 - Yeah. - Or, like... 286 00:27:23,955 --> 00:27:26,257 - I doubt it. - Yeah, okay. Thank you. 287 00:27:26,391 --> 00:27:29,061 Um, no, I don't know... 288 00:27:30,161 --> 00:27:32,697 Do you ever wish you could change something 289 00:27:32,830 --> 00:27:33,831 about yourself? 290 00:27:34,832 --> 00:27:35,833 I guess... 291 00:27:37,468 --> 00:27:39,771 my talents or my ambitions. 292 00:27:39,904 --> 00:27:41,572 So what are your talents and ambitions? 293 00:27:41,773 --> 00:27:44,642 I like, you know, like artsy types of stuff. 294 00:27:45,009 --> 00:27:49,714 My family's a very career, like, driven, li... 295 00:27:49,847 --> 00:27:52,517 engineering, medical school type of family, 296 00:27:52,650 --> 00:27:55,420 so if I could have that type of interest 297 00:27:55,553 --> 00:27:57,089 in my life, that would make things easier. 298 00:27:57,221 --> 00:27:58,890 So you wish that you were interested in engineering, 299 00:27:59,023 --> 00:28:02,293 but wouldn't you wish that your parents would be the one 300 00:28:02,493 --> 00:28:04,328 - to change what they think? - Yeah. 301 00:28:04,495 --> 00:28:06,497 Oh, wait. 302 00:28:06,664 --> 00:28:10,234 That makes way more sense. That makes way more sense. 303 00:29:00,551 --> 00:29:03,454 - Hi. Um, I'm staying here. - Oh. 304 00:29:03,588 --> 00:29:04,889 I was staying here last night. 305 00:29:05,022 --> 00:29:06,791 Fantastic. I hope you had a comfortable stay. 306 00:29:06,924 --> 00:29:09,161 Yeah, no, it was, it was, it was, uh, it was lovely, 307 00:29:09,293 --> 00:29:13,998 but I just, I've, um, I've mis... I've misplaced my key. 308 00:29:15,067 --> 00:29:17,268 Okay. Um, what room is it? 309 00:29:17,902 --> 00:29:19,437 Uh, it's 234. 310 00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:22,707 And, uh, what's your name? 311 00:29:23,941 --> 00:29:25,676 No, my name isn't on the reservation. 312 00:29:25,810 --> 00:29:27,411 Whose name is on the reservation? 313 00:29:27,545 --> 00:29:29,313 I don't know that, actually. 314 00:29:29,547 --> 00:29:31,116 Okay, uh, I can help. Um... 315 00:29:31,282 --> 00:29:32,483 Well, just give me a name. 316 00:29:32,950 --> 00:29:34,819 Can you just... Do you mind if you just give me the key? 317 00:29:36,020 --> 00:29:38,523 You seem legit. I want to help you. 318 00:29:38,756 --> 00:29:40,925 I just legally, I can't just... 319 00:29:41,425 --> 00:29:42,760 Uh... 320 00:29:45,963 --> 00:29:47,032 Miss? 321 00:32:16,614 --> 00:32:20,352 Hey, I'm sorry to bother you. Sorry, um, 322 00:32:20,484 --> 00:32:22,520 are you Alina Reynolds, by any chance? 323 00:32:24,056 --> 00:32:26,590 - Yes. - Yes. Cool. 324 00:32:26,724 --> 00:32:28,360 You had me in suspense for a moment. I... 325 00:32:28,626 --> 00:32:31,029 - No, sorry, I don't... - I've seen you. Uh, sorry. 326 00:32:31,229 --> 00:32:34,598 I'm a big fan of your work. That's a, I saw you at the... 327 00:32:34,732 --> 00:32:36,467 - Really? - Yeah. Yeah, 328 00:32:36,767 --> 00:32:39,670 I saw you at a reading, like, two years ago, a, at Greened-Eyed books, 329 00:32:39,837 --> 00:32:41,973 - for, um, Italian Studies. - God, yes. 330 00:32:42,107 --> 00:32:45,009 I, yeah. I'm just, I, It was awesome to see you then. 331 00:32:45,143 --> 00:32:46,877 It's awesome to see you now. I, like, 332 00:32:47,011 --> 00:32:48,946 that book changed how I thought. 333 00:32:49,081 --> 00:32:50,881 - Mmm. - It's such a cliché, but it changed what I thought, 334 00:32:51,015 --> 00:32:52,883 like, short stories could do. 335 00:32:53,017 --> 00:32:54,652 You know all of them well, or, um... 336 00:32:54,785 --> 00:32:57,322 Um, yeah. I probably know them a bit too, too well. 337 00:32:57,456 --> 00:32:59,458 - I've read, I've read it, like, a bunch of times. - Mmm. 338 00:32:59,590 --> 00:33:00,858 Well, that's more than I have. 339 00:33:02,827 --> 00:33:05,830 Yeah, I mean, I really love the whole, like, universe you create 340 00:33:05,963 --> 00:33:10,102 - and how they weave together, and it's, like, very beautiful. - Mmm. 341 00:33:10,868 --> 00:33:12,837 Are you working on anything new right now? 342 00:33:12,970 --> 00:33:13,938 Um... 343 00:33:15,140 --> 00:33:16,640 - Yes. - Yeah? 344 00:33:16,874 --> 00:33:19,177 - Yes, I am. - Short stories? A novel? 345 00:33:19,311 --> 00:33:20,678 - An autobiographical? - It's a novel. 346 00:33:20,811 --> 00:33:22,214 - Yeah. Mmm. - Oh, okay. 347 00:33:22,347 --> 00:33:25,117 It'll be great to read you in that long of form. 348 00:33:25,250 --> 00:33:26,485 Oh, that's nice. 349 00:33:27,018 --> 00:33:31,522 Is, is it sort of also a bildungsroman? Coming of age kind of... 350 00:33:32,023 --> 00:33:33,791 - Yep. It is. - Yeah? 351 00:33:33,924 --> 00:33:35,926 It's about, um, a, a young boy. 352 00:33:36,061 --> 00:33:38,497 - Uh-huh. - See, who, uh, he really loves hot dogs. 353 00:33:38,662 --> 00:33:41,266 He has this real thing about hot dogs, but he's just developed this gluten intolerance, so... 354 00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,667 I mean, no, that's just, that's how it starts. 355 00:33:43,801 --> 00:33:45,536 - Okay. Tragic for him... - Uh... 356 00:33:45,836 --> 00:33:47,938 But, yeah, yeah. And he's, you know, he's fallen out with his parents. 357 00:33:48,073 --> 00:33:51,043 He's, like, really, his mom doesn't want him to smoke so much weed. 358 00:33:51,176 --> 00:33:52,576 - It's, you know, it's... - Right. 359 00:33:53,245 --> 00:33:55,180 So hot dogs can be kind of a coping mechanism. 360 00:33:55,380 --> 00:33:58,383 I mean, the, and he's just doing dogs and no buns, huh? 361 00:33:58,783 --> 00:34:01,153 Yeah. That's a good line, actually. 362 00:34:01,286 --> 00:34:02,887 I could use that. 363 00:34:03,020 --> 00:34:06,224 My ex was gluten intolerant, 364 00:34:06,358 --> 00:34:09,927 and otherwise, very tolerant as a person, but a celiac, 365 00:34:10,062 --> 00:34:13,631 and I gave her my copy of Italian Studies. 366 00:34:13,864 --> 00:34:15,133 Have not had it returned, 367 00:34:15,900 --> 00:34:18,503 but I lost all my marginalia, and all of the notes that I had marked up 368 00:34:18,669 --> 00:34:23,341 with your, just, you know, and every, every story was... 369 00:34:50,335 --> 00:34:51,802 "If only she could understand 370 00:34:51,936 --> 00:34:54,106 the sounds coming from room 234, 371 00:34:54,772 --> 00:34:58,343 but the more she listened, the more Claire realized 372 00:34:58,477 --> 00:34:59,544 it didn't matter. 373 00:34:59,977 --> 00:35:02,314 She simply did not speak the language. 374 00:35:03,614 --> 00:35:05,117 Claire had the door slammed. 375 00:35:07,017 --> 00:35:08,487 For now, she was alone, 376 00:35:08,986 --> 00:35:11,822 except for the sounds in room 234." 377 00:35:26,238 --> 00:35:29,341 Excuse me. Have you got a pen I could borrow? 378 00:35:31,176 --> 00:35:32,110 Thanks 379 00:35:45,090 --> 00:35:46,424 Excuse me. 380 00:35:49,060 --> 00:35:51,729 - That's a library book. - Yeah. 381 00:35:54,032 --> 00:35:55,567 I'm sorry, what are you doing? 382 00:35:55,699 --> 00:35:57,102 I'm just signing it. 383 00:35:59,904 --> 00:36:01,705 - Did you write it? - Yeah. 384 00:36:02,274 --> 00:36:04,942 - Yeah. Yeah. - Well, good for you. 385 00:36:05,110 --> 00:36:06,944 Thanks. It's actually, it's actually, 386 00:36:07,179 --> 00:36:09,013 it's not bad, actually. It's quite good. 387 00:36:09,147 --> 00:36:10,615 I'm sure it's a beautiful book. 388 00:36:10,781 --> 00:36:12,083 I believe you, and I'm not. I'm not... 389 00:36:12,350 --> 00:36:14,718 This is not to derogate your book at all, it's just... 390 00:36:14,885 --> 00:36:16,354 The library is a common resource. 391 00:36:16,488 --> 00:36:19,924 Exactly, yeah. And I'm just adding to the library. 392 00:36:20,058 --> 00:36:22,026 It's not your book or my book, it's our book. 393 00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:23,694 I'm making it better for the library. 394 00:36:23,827 --> 00:36:25,263 The library... library's for everyone. 395 00:36:25,863 --> 00:36:27,065 Oh. Well, good for you. 396 00:36:27,199 --> 00:36:28,333 Make a splendid edition to the library... 397 00:36:28,466 --> 00:36:30,035 Sir, shh. Keep your voice down. 398 00:36:30,868 --> 00:36:32,070 Library. 399 00:36:33,205 --> 00:36:35,440 You're a gem. 400 00:36:36,274 --> 00:36:40,679 You know, you're cold world. You are cold world. 401 00:36:41,146 --> 00:36:42,347 A signed book is warm world. 402 00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:43,948 - I'm warm world. - Okay. I'm sorry. 403 00:36:44,082 --> 00:36:46,016 I overreacted. Forgive me. 404 00:36:46,284 --> 00:36:47,185 I'm, uh... 405 00:36:47,619 --> 00:36:49,521 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. 406 00:36:49,654 --> 00:36:50,754 Mmm. Yeah. 407 00:36:50,888 --> 00:36:52,290 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 408 00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,042 "'Lucinda, ' published September 2014 409 00:37:11,176 --> 00:37:13,844 in Conjunctions, volume five, issue two. 410 00:37:14,512 --> 00:37:16,548 Erin McCloud spent much of her early life 411 00:37:16,681 --> 00:37:18,250 trying to get lost in herself. 412 00:37:18,583 --> 00:37:22,019 She thought too much, and then thought about thinking too much, 413 00:37:22,254 --> 00:37:23,754 and then thought about what others thought 414 00:37:23,887 --> 00:37:25,823 about her thinking too much. 415 00:37:28,093 --> 00:37:31,363 Her editor called the subjects of the latest piece she was assigned, 416 00:37:31,496 --> 00:37:32,464 'The Kids.' 417 00:37:32,597 --> 00:37:33,964 And she found that amusing 418 00:37:34,099 --> 00:37:35,933 because she was only a few years older. 419 00:37:37,068 --> 00:37:38,470 But Erin thought nothing of it 420 00:37:38,670 --> 00:37:40,071 when she had to cancel a date with her boyfriend 421 00:37:40,205 --> 00:37:41,640 because, as she told him, 422 00:37:41,839 --> 00:37:44,209 she was going to see The Kids play their concert." 423 00:37:56,020 --> 00:38:00,659 ♪ Chew me up And spit me out ♪ 424 00:38:00,791 --> 00:38:07,332 ♪ I'm not ready to bounce Outta this bitch ♪ 425 00:38:07,699 --> 00:38:14,639 ♪ You're alive And you're on fire ♪ 426 00:38:14,773 --> 00:38:16,574 ♪ Gotta speak universal question, 427 00:38:16,775 --> 00:38:19,110 ♪ The lyrics is so provocative This the rapper's apocalypse ♪ 428 00:38:19,311 --> 00:38:21,513 ♪ This rap is apoca-lit Dang continent ♪ 429 00:38:21,646 --> 00:38:23,748 ♪ Showstoppers And flow rockin it ♪ 430 00:38:24,449 --> 00:38:26,518 "She integrated herself well enough to the teens, 431 00:38:26,685 --> 00:38:29,987 striking a balance between observation and engagement." 432 00:38:32,357 --> 00:38:35,660 "But then, she was struck into a state by one of the performers, 433 00:38:36,094 --> 00:38:37,495 a singer named Lucinda." 434 00:38:37,629 --> 00:38:40,298 ♪ I smoke to live But I slow down ♪ 435 00:38:40,432 --> 00:38:45,070 ♪ I have dreams about those I don't know anymore ♪ 436 00:38:45,303 --> 00:38:49,207 ♪ Feels are dull Brain is null ♪ 437 00:38:50,175 --> 00:38:52,910 ♪ I've always been too wary ♪ 438 00:38:53,345 --> 00:38:56,748 ♪ The touched heart Inevitably breaks ♪ 439 00:38:57,248 --> 00:39:02,053 ♪ We're all scared to hold it ♪ 440 00:39:02,654 --> 00:39:06,157 ♪ Once you had it all I would run when you called ♪ 441 00:39:06,291 --> 00:39:08,259 ♪ You said we're Going for a hike ♪ 442 00:39:08,393 --> 00:39:10,462 ♪ and then you'd Leave me at the dump ♪ 443 00:39:10,894 --> 00:39:14,599 ♪ Always known too much I'm a complex person ♪ 444 00:39:14,733 --> 00:39:18,670 ♪ They say I'm made of ice I know now that I deserve it ♪ 445 00:39:19,237 --> 00:39:23,108 ♪ Summer by Gowanus River ♪ 446 00:39:23,308 --> 00:39:27,078 ♪ I always knew You'd pull the trigger ♪ 447 00:39:27,445 --> 00:39:31,383 ♪ Said you'd Spend it by my side ♪ 448 00:39:31,516 --> 00:39:35,286 ♪ Was it me Who changed your mind? ♪ 449 00:39:35,854 --> 00:39:41,292 ♪ Maybe if we had more time? ♪ 450 00:39:58,909 --> 00:40:00,412 "She searched for Lucinda, 451 00:40:01,279 --> 00:40:04,249 the singer who had so entranced her at the concert, 452 00:40:05,350 --> 00:40:08,952 but no one seemed to know who she was, or even remember her. 453 00:40:10,121 --> 00:40:13,991 But maybe it didn't matter. Even the search was fulfilling." 454 00:40:24,235 --> 00:40:25,670 He forgot the password. 455 00:40:25,804 --> 00:40:27,405 He made it so many times that I don't remember 456 00:40:27,539 --> 00:40:29,040 what the password... 457 00:40:29,174 --> 00:40:31,676 Oh, my God! Can I see it? 458 00:40:39,184 --> 00:40:40,852 I met this kid from Texas yesterday. 459 00:40:40,984 --> 00:40:42,520 I want to go to Texas so bad, 460 00:40:42,687 --> 00:40:45,290 because there'd be a lot of other people that are like me, 461 00:40:45,423 --> 00:40:46,491 but... 462 00:40:47,225 --> 00:40:48,293 He think's there'd be a lot of other people like you in Texas? 463 00:40:48,426 --> 00:40:49,427 - Yeah. - Why? 464 00:40:49,694 --> 00:40:51,329 I don't know. 465 00:40:51,563 --> 00:40:53,798 He said that, and I was just, like, that's interesting. 466 00:40:53,932 --> 00:40:55,667 What's a person like you? 467 00:40:57,936 --> 00:41:02,140 I'm open to try different things. 468 00:41:03,107 --> 00:41:04,309 That's what I think. 469 00:41:05,844 --> 00:41:07,045 Yeah. 470 00:41:07,846 --> 00:41:09,180 I want to be a person like you. 471 00:41:09,447 --> 00:41:10,748 - Really? - Yeah. 472 00:41:10,949 --> 00:41:12,015 - Really? - Yeah. 473 00:41:12,183 --> 00:41:13,585 That makes me feel good. 474 00:41:13,718 --> 00:41:14,853 Good. 475 00:41:14,985 --> 00:41:16,321 I never heard that before. 476 00:42:19,951 --> 00:42:21,185 Simon. 477 00:42:25,523 --> 00:42:26,457 Hi. 478 00:42:36,634 --> 00:42:38,002 Have you ever been in love? 479 00:42:38,236 --> 00:42:40,572 Yeah. Yeah. 480 00:42:42,473 --> 00:42:46,045 I saw her the first time at camp and my jaw dropped. 481 00:42:46,244 --> 00:42:47,478 It was... 482 00:42:47,645 --> 00:42:50,448 I had crushes, but I never knew what lo... 483 00:42:50,582 --> 00:42:52,784 I saw her the first time, I was, like, oh... 484 00:42:53,785 --> 00:42:54,552 She was all alone. 485 00:42:55,253 --> 00:42:58,756 It was raining, and I was, like, "Hey, do you draw?" 486 00:42:58,890 --> 00:43:00,725 And I guessed that she drew, 'cause she had short hair. 487 00:43:00,858 --> 00:43:02,460 And I got kicked out of that camp, 488 00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:04,796 but before, right before I got kicked out, I came up to her 489 00:43:04,929 --> 00:43:06,631 because we didn't really talk, but we were interested in each other, 490 00:43:06,798 --> 00:43:08,933 and I was, like, "Yo, I'm getting kicked out, 491 00:43:09,267 --> 00:43:10,868 but, like, keep doing you." 492 00:43:11,002 --> 00:43:13,171 And then when the program was over, she hit me up, 493 00:43:13,638 --> 00:43:17,542 and we hung out once the first time, and my mom left, 494 00:43:17,909 --> 00:43:20,378 and she said her dad died, 495 00:43:20,511 --> 00:43:25,016 and she, we met the first time, and she told me the story of her life. 496 00:43:25,149 --> 00:43:26,150 It was tragic, 497 00:43:26,517 --> 00:43:28,853 and I just wanted to protect her 498 00:43:28,987 --> 00:43:30,655 and give her blankets and chicken soup. 499 00:43:31,022 --> 00:43:33,558 And my mom left, and we were in the kitchen, 500 00:43:33,691 --> 00:43:35,426 and I was, like, "Can I kiss you?" 501 00:43:35,893 --> 00:43:39,931 And I, then we kissed. And then we... 502 00:43:40,198 --> 00:43:41,666 We did things. And that was fun, 503 00:43:41,899 --> 00:43:44,202 'cause I'd never really done those things before, you know? 504 00:43:47,405 --> 00:43:49,507 She's going away, though. 505 00:43:50,042 --> 00:43:51,043 She's going to college. 506 00:43:51,943 --> 00:43:53,845 I'm not going to college, 'cause my parents, 507 00:43:53,978 --> 00:43:54,879 they think I'm a bum. 508 00:44:00,618 --> 00:44:01,986 It's just one thing... 509 00:44:02,620 --> 00:44:05,857 When people are special, everyone tries to get their grubby hands on them 510 00:44:06,157 --> 00:44:08,726 and take some of their, their warmth and their love, 511 00:44:08,860 --> 00:44:10,062 you know what I mean? 512 00:44:10,194 --> 00:44:11,429 You think I'm special? 513 00:44:11,763 --> 00:44:13,631 Yeah, I think you're very obviously special. 514 00:44:14,099 --> 00:44:15,266 Why? 515 00:44:15,566 --> 00:44:17,735 Because you came with me. And nobody would. 516 00:44:17,935 --> 00:44:19,604 This is a violation of social norms, 517 00:44:19,737 --> 00:44:21,005 but you didn't give a fuck about any of that. 518 00:44:21,140 --> 00:44:22,407 Come on! 519 00:44:22,607 --> 00:44:23,941 So I respect that, like, a lot. 520 00:44:24,109 --> 00:44:25,144 I really do. 521 00:44:25,276 --> 00:44:26,544 Oh... 522 00:44:31,816 --> 00:44:33,484 So I'm writing this book. 523 00:44:33,651 --> 00:44:35,386 Uh, no, I've written a book. I've written a novel, 524 00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:37,156 a collection of short stories, 525 00:44:37,288 --> 00:44:40,491 and, uh, there's one about a motel and, like, a girl there, 526 00:44:40,625 --> 00:44:43,327 and one about a girl stuck on a rollercoaster, 527 00:44:44,195 --> 00:44:45,830 and it's mainly about young people, 528 00:44:45,963 --> 00:44:48,599 and, like, overcoming fear and weird repressed memories, 529 00:44:48,733 --> 00:44:52,804 but I'm now writing a, a, a novel, 530 00:44:53,038 --> 00:44:54,939 and it's about teenagers. 531 00:44:55,273 --> 00:44:56,974 - Cool. - Yeah. 532 00:44:57,709 --> 00:45:02,680 So I just, what I need is to hang out with some teens. 533 00:45:03,182 --> 00:45:04,315 All right. 534 00:45:04,849 --> 00:45:05,750 Good. 535 00:45:28,372 --> 00:45:30,942 No, my biggest fear, I think, I think about this sometimes, 536 00:45:31,076 --> 00:45:33,711 is I meet a person I like, and then I invite them to a party, 537 00:45:33,845 --> 00:45:37,882 but there is no party and they come. 538 00:45:38,015 --> 00:45:39,984 It's just me, and they're like, "Where's the party?" 539 00:45:40,119 --> 00:45:44,555 And they have expectations coming in and they see me in my state, 540 00:45:44,689 --> 00:45:46,290 and I think about this, and also, like, 541 00:45:46,424 --> 00:45:49,128 dropping a baby in a river is, like, my second biggest fear. 542 00:45:50,995 --> 00:45:52,363 And did you think there was ever going to be a party? 543 00:45:52,497 --> 00:45:54,999 No, no. There's no party. 544 00:45:55,167 --> 00:45:58,036 Someone handed me their baby, and I dropped it in a river. 545 00:45:58,170 --> 00:46:00,271 What? No, I mean with the person you invited? 546 00:46:00,404 --> 00:46:02,540 Oh! No. No, 547 00:46:02,673 --> 00:46:06,044 there something that tells me, something inside me tells me to invite them to a party, 548 00:46:06,178 --> 00:46:08,247 and I do, and then I don't have a party, 549 00:46:08,379 --> 00:46:10,048 and then there's just me and this person, 550 00:46:10,215 --> 00:46:12,416 and they come to my house, and they see there's no party, 551 00:46:12,550 --> 00:46:15,953 and also, I'm a liar, and also, I'm a weirdo. 552 00:46:16,788 --> 00:46:18,656 So if you wanted to get to know somebody, 553 00:46:18,790 --> 00:46:20,092 what would you ask? 554 00:46:20,424 --> 00:46:22,527 Uh, like, "What's your favorite thing?" 555 00:46:22,660 --> 00:46:25,329 And then, like, the first three things that pop into your head. 556 00:46:25,563 --> 00:46:27,465 And what are your favorite things? 557 00:46:27,665 --> 00:46:32,737 Um, well, I've thought about it a lot, so it's not off, just off the noggin, 558 00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:37,642 but, um, uh, like, dogs, and trees, 559 00:46:37,775 --> 00:46:41,579 and, um, hugging people I care about. 560 00:46:44,649 --> 00:46:46,584 - That's beautiful. - Thanks. 561 00:46:46,784 --> 00:46:49,487 It's fun, 'cause the word "bark" 562 00:46:49,620 --> 00:46:51,589 applies to dogs and trees, 563 00:46:51,722 --> 00:46:53,491 so it's, like, my favorite word. 564 00:46:53,958 --> 00:46:56,494 It's not, actually, but, like, it's cool. 565 00:46:57,062 --> 00:46:59,198 You know, I don't want to be seen as someone 566 00:46:59,330 --> 00:47:02,267 who engages in the power dynamics that boys do, like, you know... 567 00:47:02,667 --> 00:47:05,469 But then, then again, there's something so cute and harmless 568 00:47:05,603 --> 00:47:07,139 about the feminine which I aspire to. 569 00:47:07,272 --> 00:47:08,273 I aspire to be harmless. 570 00:47:08,773 --> 00:47:10,708 Oh, you think I'm harmless? 571 00:47:13,078 --> 00:47:15,646 Yeah... That's not what I meant to say. 572 00:47:16,048 --> 00:47:20,718 What, I'm biol... like, upper body strength-wise, you know what I mean? 573 00:47:22,620 --> 00:47:24,522 Okay, but I'm th... I'm thinking 574 00:47:24,956 --> 00:47:26,591 three pieces of bread stacked 575 00:47:26,724 --> 00:47:28,392 is not a bread sandwich 576 00:47:28,526 --> 00:47:31,596 because it's all made out of the same fundamental ingredient. 577 00:47:31,729 --> 00:47:33,031 That's just, it's just bread. 578 00:47:33,165 --> 00:47:35,366 What about, like, three stacks of lettuce? 579 00:47:35,533 --> 00:47:36,567 Well, that's just lettuce. 580 00:47:36,701 --> 00:47:38,237 That's not a lettuce sandwich. 581 00:47:39,271 --> 00:47:42,074 Just think about it. There's a world where you see three pieces of bread, 582 00:47:42,207 --> 00:47:43,941 and you say, that's three pieces of bread, 583 00:47:44,076 --> 00:47:46,178 and there's a world where you see three pieces of bread 584 00:47:46,311 --> 00:47:47,511 and say, that's a bread sandwich, 585 00:47:47,645 --> 00:47:48,913 and to me... 586 00:47:49,047 --> 00:47:50,748 ...the latter is a more beautiful world. 587 00:47:51,682 --> 00:47:55,720 - You've written other books? - Uh-huh. Just one. 588 00:47:55,853 --> 00:47:58,756 - What was it called? - Italian Studies. 589 00:47:59,157 --> 00:48:00,225 Wh... What is it about? 590 00:48:00,791 --> 00:48:02,660 It's like a, a short story collection. 591 00:48:03,095 --> 00:48:04,795 Which one's your favorite? 592 00:48:06,530 --> 00:48:08,166 I didn't get to the last one, but, 593 00:48:08,532 --> 00:48:11,802 so it could've been that one. I didn't, I didn't get to finish it today, 594 00:48:11,936 --> 00:48:12,837 but, um... 595 00:48:13,272 --> 00:48:14,805 the "Midland Marines," I think. 596 00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:17,276 Do you forget all your works after you write them? 597 00:48:17,441 --> 00:48:19,244 Yeah. Isn't that part of it? 598 00:48:19,877 --> 00:48:22,914 Like, does, does memory even matter, 599 00:48:23,282 --> 00:48:25,317 - given that we're... - When I was a kid, um... 600 00:48:25,449 --> 00:48:28,853 - It's like a goldfish... - Yeah, I used to pretend, um... 601 00:48:29,187 --> 00:48:33,691 I would drink, like, Gatorade or drink some, like, fancy-colored soda, 602 00:48:33,824 --> 00:48:36,128 and I'd pretend it wipes my whole memory, 603 00:48:36,361 --> 00:48:39,031 and then I'd close my eyes, and I'd wake up and pretend 604 00:48:39,164 --> 00:48:42,833 to look at my house as if I'd never seen it before, 605 00:48:42,967 --> 00:48:44,735 and see how long I could go on, 606 00:48:44,869 --> 00:48:46,437 like, pretending I didn't know anything 607 00:48:46,570 --> 00:48:48,273 about my house or, like, my family 608 00:48:48,439 --> 00:48:51,642 throughout all my conversations, and I thought it was fun. 609 00:48:51,776 --> 00:48:53,178 How long did it last? 610 00:48:53,345 --> 00:48:55,913 I would go for a long time. The whole day. 611 00:48:56,048 --> 00:48:57,515 But usually when I got hungry, 612 00:48:57,648 --> 00:48:59,550 I would ask my mom to make me a snack. 613 00:49:01,919 --> 00:49:04,588 I'd get so into it, like, it felt like I actually forgot. 614 00:49:06,258 --> 00:49:07,625 A new perspective. 615 00:49:08,693 --> 00:49:11,163 It's been an anxious life, if I'm honest. 616 00:49:11,296 --> 00:49:14,966 - Yeah. - Um, an anxious kid. 617 00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:17,302 Do you think it's just, like, brain chemistry? 618 00:49:17,436 --> 00:49:18,903 Yeah, I really do, 619 00:49:19,104 --> 00:49:21,306 and I think that's honestly really important to realize, 620 00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:22,773 'cause I think that, like, 621 00:49:22,974 --> 00:49:25,344 you've gotta not think that you're a terrible person 622 00:49:25,476 --> 00:49:28,713 'cause you can't control yourself as much as you want to, 623 00:49:28,980 --> 00:49:30,349 and you just have to realize 624 00:49:30,881 --> 00:49:33,218 there's a lot in you that's controlling you through different, 625 00:49:33,352 --> 00:49:38,256 like, ways that you can't necessarily, like, take over all the time. 626 00:49:40,491 --> 00:49:47,132 ♪ Why, why you creepin' So slowly? ♪ 627 00:49:47,265 --> 00:49:48,333 ♪ Oh! ♪ 628 00:49:48,566 --> 00:49:53,405 ♪ I just want you to hold me ♪ 629 00:49:53,604 --> 00:49:54,972 ♪ Oh! ♪ 630 00:49:55,173 --> 00:50:00,045 ♪ Play with my hair And protect me ♪ 631 00:50:00,178 --> 00:50:00,978 ♪ Oh! ♪ 632 00:50:01,113 --> 00:50:05,417 ♪ I just want you to hold me ♪ 633 00:50:05,616 --> 00:50:06,984 ♪ Oh! ♪ 634 00:50:07,185 --> 00:50:12,257 ♪ Play with my hair And protect me ♪ 635 00:50:12,457 --> 00:50:14,126 ♪ Oh! ♪ 636 00:50:14,759 --> 00:50:20,998 ♪ Ooh ♪ 637 00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:25,270 Yeah, that's... 638 00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:36,781 I've gotta get out of here. 639 00:50:47,125 --> 00:50:49,627 - Yo, Alina. Thank you. - Thank you so much. 640 00:50:50,095 --> 00:50:51,729 - Heart emoji... - It was good. 641 00:50:51,862 --> 00:50:52,997 It was so good. 642 00:50:53,131 --> 00:50:54,832 I don't have any of my stuff with me. 643 00:50:54,965 --> 00:50:56,634 - What? - What do you mean? 644 00:50:56,934 --> 00:50:58,303 Like you don't have cash? 645 00:50:58,869 --> 00:51:00,604 But you have, like, like do you have one? 646 00:51:00,738 --> 00:51:02,940 Like a... I mean, you're here. 647 00:51:03,075 --> 00:51:04,875 - Yeah. - I j... I have nothing on me at all. 648 00:51:05,277 --> 00:51:08,313 - Did you lose it? - Yeah, I think... I think so. 649 00:51:08,447 --> 00:51:09,880 I just, I don't have it with me. 650 00:51:10,014 --> 00:51:11,216 Do you have any money? 651 00:51:14,453 --> 00:51:15,487 Um... 652 00:51:16,121 --> 00:51:17,988 I guess we all have to... 653 00:51:19,057 --> 00:51:20,991 - There's... - We're close. 654 00:51:21,126 --> 00:51:23,861 Yeah, can we just, like... Three twenty-six... 655 00:51:24,362 --> 00:51:26,298 - We're not gonna... - It's $107... 656 00:51:26,431 --> 00:51:27,665 No, yeah. 657 00:51:27,998 --> 00:51:29,600 Come on, don't say it's okay if it's not okay. 658 00:51:30,102 --> 00:51:32,736 - No, it's fine. - Okay. Yeah. 659 00:51:36,508 --> 00:51:39,111 No, there is, I mean, there's, there is some cash. 660 00:51:42,314 --> 00:51:44,849 ♪ Rockabye baby On the treetop ♪ 661 00:51:45,649 --> 00:51:48,286 ♪ When the wind blows The cradle will rock ♪ 662 00:51:49,054 --> 00:51:50,322 ♪ When the bow breaks ♪ 663 00:51:51,021 --> 00:51:52,457 ♪ The cradle will fall ♪ 664 00:51:52,591 --> 00:51:54,326 ♪ And down will come cradle... ♪ 665 00:51:56,194 --> 00:51:57,828 ♪ Cradle and all ♪ 666 00:53:05,130 --> 00:53:06,797 - I write. Yeah. - Yeah? 667 00:53:06,931 --> 00:53:08,433 Do you like short stories? 668 00:53:08,667 --> 00:53:11,670 I love short stories, actually. Yeah. Do you have one? 669 00:53:11,835 --> 00:53:15,106 - Yes, I have eight. Yeah. - Eight? Oh. 670 00:53:16,508 --> 00:53:18,343 - Well, I'm working on a novel. - Hmm. 671 00:53:18,909 --> 00:53:20,744 But I, I started short stories. 672 00:53:20,878 --> 00:53:22,447 - Hmm. - It's like a collection. 673 00:53:23,013 --> 00:53:26,685 And this one guy who just smokes lots of weed and is, you know, confused about... 674 00:53:26,817 --> 00:53:28,752 - That. - Why the pot-smoking kid? 675 00:53:28,886 --> 00:53:30,121 Yeah. 676 00:53:30,322 --> 00:53:31,889 I don't know, I'm just genuinely curious, 677 00:53:32,022 --> 00:53:33,757 'cause I feel like it's a stereotype, and I don't, 678 00:53:33,891 --> 00:53:34,892 I don't know why people... 679 00:53:35,025 --> 00:53:36,328 That feels judgmental. 680 00:53:36,461 --> 00:53:39,364 No, it's, like, why, why that perspective? 681 00:53:41,032 --> 00:53:42,967 I don't see why that's a problem. 682 00:53:43,201 --> 00:53:44,902 No, I don't think it's a problem. 683 00:53:45,036 --> 00:53:46,737 I just feel like it's not... 684 00:53:51,376 --> 00:53:52,876 original, I guess. 685 00:53:53,877 --> 00:53:55,746 No, I, I mean, I don't, I don't know. 686 00:53:55,879 --> 00:53:58,882 I'm sorry. Like, I don't, I don't know what you write normally. Um... 687 00:54:00,385 --> 00:54:02,354 Why don't you just go fuck yourself? 688 00:54:03,521 --> 00:54:06,124 - Um... - Okay. 689 00:54:07,392 --> 00:54:08,859 All right. 690 00:54:10,428 --> 00:54:12,664 She doesn't need to say why. 691 00:54:12,863 --> 00:54:14,699 I think she was just asking. 692 00:54:14,832 --> 00:54:16,767 - Hmm? - I think she was just asking. 693 00:54:16,900 --> 00:54:19,337 - I don't think... - But why does she have to be like... 694 00:54:30,148 --> 00:54:31,416 Uh, I'm Alina. 695 00:54:33,251 --> 00:54:35,019 And I'm from here. I'm a writer. 696 00:54:35,853 --> 00:54:36,820 Wh... What are your names? 697 00:54:37,322 --> 00:54:40,125 - Taylor. - I'm Sasha. 698 00:54:40,625 --> 00:54:41,825 Lucinda. 699 00:54:44,629 --> 00:54:48,066 - No, you're not Lucinda. - Yes, I am. 700 00:54:48,199 --> 00:54:50,135 And that's Taylor and Sasha. 701 00:54:51,069 --> 00:54:53,338 - No, you're not. - Yes, I am. 702 00:54:53,471 --> 00:54:55,407 - Lucinda. - But you're not. 703 00:54:58,942 --> 00:55:01,446 - I think we should call somebody. Yeah. - Yeah. 704 00:55:02,113 --> 00:55:03,348 Are... Are you okay? 705 00:55:04,582 --> 00:55:06,551 They bought us Philly cheesesteaks. 706 00:55:07,985 --> 00:55:09,287 And it's, it's cool, 707 00:55:09,421 --> 00:55:11,056 'cause it's not really a Philly cheesesteak... 708 00:55:11,189 --> 00:55:13,091 'cause you in Philly, it's really just a cheesesteak. 709 00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:17,395 So, it's just for the hype? 710 00:55:17,629 --> 00:55:20,998 A New York burger, I guess. It's like, it's like Chinese food. 711 00:55:21,166 --> 00:55:24,302 - It's a real thing? It could be a thing. - I don't know. 712 00:55:24,436 --> 00:55:25,903 I just made that up just now. 713 00:55:26,037 --> 00:55:27,305 I mean, there's chopped cheese, that's all. 714 00:55:27,439 --> 00:55:29,907 That's the New, that's the New York burger. 715 00:55:30,041 --> 00:55:33,712 That was funny. That was funny. That was funny. 716 00:55:33,844 --> 00:55:35,580 You hear chopped cheese, and you were like, 717 00:55:35,714 --> 00:55:37,682 "Oh, yeah. That's New York." 718 00:55:37,915 --> 00:55:39,484 I just want to be a person like you. 719 00:55:40,618 --> 00:55:43,521 Okay, but y... you don't know me. 720 00:56:24,496 --> 00:56:26,097 I'm kind of numb to it. 721 00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:31,403 Oh, that makes me sad. 722 00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:38,042 Well, I'm sorry that it makes you sad. 723 00:56:38,276 --> 00:56:40,879 See, I think you're strong, 724 00:56:41,146 --> 00:56:44,182 and I think you seem broken at the same time, 725 00:56:44,315 --> 00:56:47,452 and I think that I'm that, too. 726 00:56:50,688 --> 00:56:51,589 Are you? 727 00:56:56,261 --> 00:56:57,395 Yeah. 728 00:57:01,533 --> 00:57:03,334 Yeah. I mean, I think everybody is... 729 00:57:05,437 --> 00:57:07,038 or at least everyone's broken in some ways, 730 00:57:07,172 --> 00:57:09,674 and only, only a few of us are strong. 731 00:57:13,745 --> 00:57:15,647 Well, you're stronger than me. 732 00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:18,917 Why do you say that? I thought you said I was a harmless woman. 733 00:57:19,584 --> 00:57:23,154 Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. 734 00:57:25,356 --> 00:57:30,328 I d... I say that because you were, you were, you were strong enough 735 00:57:31,463 --> 00:57:34,866 to make me see, or at least engage with me. 736 00:57:35,066 --> 00:57:37,535 I'm not saying that you're, like, the fuckin' prophet or whatever, 737 00:57:37,735 --> 00:57:40,939 but it's like you were, you were strong enough to 738 00:57:41,072 --> 00:57:45,343 take my force of whatever it was and give me sight. 739 00:57:45,710 --> 00:57:48,313 Yeah, but you're doing that for me too. 740 00:57:48,513 --> 00:57:50,415 You're strong enough to do that for me. 741 00:57:50,915 --> 00:57:54,619 You're strong enough to do that just with, just with love, 742 00:57:54,752 --> 00:57:59,557 or just by looking at me, just by being you. 743 00:58:02,025 --> 00:58:05,330 But, like, ev... everything I do is, is driven by some sort of desperation. 744 00:58:05,497 --> 00:58:08,566 I've got the problem of seeing everything I've, I've ever did, 745 00:58:08,700 --> 00:58:11,803 all the bad things I've done to people and all the ways I'm insecure. 746 00:58:11,970 --> 00:58:17,075 Like, I've gotten into so many fights when I was... 747 00:58:17,208 --> 00:58:18,877 posturing so much, 748 00:58:19,310 --> 00:58:24,014 I end up getting my ass kicked, and it's like I just want... 749 01:01:14,318 --> 01:01:15,553 Hey. Uh... 750 01:01:15,720 --> 01:01:17,588 They went back to the house, but we can walk. 751 01:01:18,890 --> 01:01:20,491 Cool. Yeah. 752 01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:23,828 My friends are probably sleeping. 753 01:01:24,228 --> 01:01:26,031 Yeah, thanks for letting me stay with you. 754 01:01:26,165 --> 01:01:28,332 Of course. 755 01:01:34,872 --> 01:01:38,743 It's "Gowanus Canal." Like, that's... 756 01:01:38,876 --> 01:01:40,411 Oh, it's the name. 757 01:01:40,545 --> 01:01:41,813 Yeah. "Gowanus Canal." 758 01:01:43,481 --> 01:01:47,152 But in the song, I sing, "Gowanus River," 759 01:01:47,418 --> 01:01:54,759 which is so fucking dumb... Because I need it to rhyme trigger... 760 01:02:07,672 --> 01:02:09,208 It was a trigger. 761 01:02:10,742 --> 01:02:12,810 Everyone knows it's... I mean, it's sort of the same thing, isn't it? 762 01:02:12,944 --> 01:02:14,445 - Yeah, I g... - It's effectively water. 763 01:02:14,579 --> 01:02:16,447 Yeah, but it's, like, people know. 764 01:02:16,581 --> 01:02:18,349 I really don't think you should worry about it. 765 01:02:19,016 --> 01:02:20,752 I'll take it. My dog is going to ruin it. 766 01:02:20,885 --> 01:02:22,687 - Okay. - I'll put it in the closet. 767 01:02:40,738 --> 01:02:42,740 His name's Ollie. He's really cute. 768 01:02:42,874 --> 01:02:44,109 I think you'd like him a lot. 769 01:02:44,243 --> 01:02:45,610 - I have a dog. - What? 770 01:02:46,544 --> 01:02:49,047 - I have a dog. - You do? Cool. 771 01:02:49,181 --> 01:02:51,482 - Yes. - What kind of dog is it? 772 01:02:52,650 --> 01:02:54,619 - I lost him. - You did? 773 01:02:54,786 --> 01:02:57,288 - Yeah, I have a dog. - When'd you lose it? 774 01:02:57,421 --> 01:02:59,624 - I have a dog. - Are you okay? 775 01:02:59,991 --> 01:03:00,958 Yeah. 776 01:03:02,127 --> 01:03:03,761 Yeah, I just am, uh... 777 01:04:06,591 --> 01:04:08,426 There she is. 778 01:04:13,764 --> 01:04:16,868 - Hey. Hey. Hi. Thanks. Thank you so much. - Not a problem. 779 01:04:17,102 --> 01:04:18,103 Thank you. 780 01:05:36,547 --> 01:05:38,083 Yeah. It's freezing. 781 01:05:40,851 --> 01:05:44,555 Oh, and there was this girl. She has, like, um, short, dark hair 782 01:05:44,922 --> 01:05:46,958 and we went in this beach house by the woods, 783 01:05:47,092 --> 01:05:49,428 and she helped me to get home. Do you know who that might be? 784 01:05:49,660 --> 01:05:51,163 - No. - Like black hair. 785 01:05:51,662 --> 01:05:52,964 I don't think so. 786 01:05:53,365 --> 01:05:55,666 I was trying to find her for so long afterwards. 787 01:05:57,202 --> 01:06:01,073 Yeah. All I know is you showed up with Simon. 788 01:06:01,739 --> 01:06:03,075 Um, he said that you guys were friends, 789 01:06:03,507 --> 01:06:05,977 and you were an author writing a book about teenagers, so... 790 01:06:06,111 --> 01:06:07,912 - Really? - So you were going to research us 791 01:06:08,046 --> 01:06:09,580 - and have dinner with us. - Did I? 792 01:06:09,714 --> 01:06:11,849 Yeah. Um... 793 01:06:12,717 --> 01:06:15,653 And then I read your short stories as well. 794 01:06:15,786 --> 01:06:17,655 - You did? - Yeah. Yeah. 795 01:06:18,256 --> 01:06:21,993 - Uh, Italian Studies and The Veil of Cashmere... - That's really sweet. 796 01:06:23,261 --> 01:06:25,197 I think maybe you should talk to Simon. 797 01:06:25,496 --> 01:06:28,066 Yeah? I don't know. 798 01:06:28,833 --> 01:06:32,636 I just, wanted to thank the girl that helped me, and then move on, really. 799 01:06:33,205 --> 01:06:35,740 It just seemed like you two were really close. 800 01:06:36,274 --> 01:06:37,409 What's he like? 801 01:06:38,176 --> 01:06:40,745 I don't actually know him that well. Um... 802 01:06:42,013 --> 01:06:45,083 - Is he okay? - No, he's fine. 803 01:06:45,217 --> 01:06:47,918 I mean, he's in college doing his thing now. 804 01:06:50,122 --> 01:06:51,856 Um, I don't know. I still think he'd want to meet you. 805 01:06:51,989 --> 01:06:53,125 Yeah, I just... 806 01:06:53,557 --> 01:06:55,826 Yeah, I just don't think I should meet him. 807 01:06:56,495 --> 01:06:58,996 I mean, I know... I think you can have, like, something special and brief 808 01:06:59,131 --> 01:07:02,167 and you don't have to chase it, and it remains what it was, 809 01:07:02,666 --> 01:07:06,804 and it'll always be there, the effect of it, in some way. 810 01:07:07,439 --> 01:07:10,409 I need to protect them, the people I love, 811 01:07:10,741 --> 01:07:12,144 if that makes sense. 812 01:07:15,247 --> 01:07:17,681 Um, okay. I mean, not really, honestly, but... 813 01:07:18,749 --> 01:07:20,152 Okay, look, for example, 814 01:07:20,519 --> 01:07:22,154 earlier I was with my husband. I was late for my husband, 815 01:07:22,287 --> 01:07:24,655 and I know that in the, 816 01:07:25,424 --> 01:07:27,292 in him waiting for me, 817 01:07:27,758 --> 01:07:29,428 the thought would've crossed his mind 818 01:07:29,560 --> 01:07:31,996 that maybe it's happened again, or it's happening, 819 01:07:32,130 --> 01:07:36,435 and I hate that. I hate to be a burden like that, 820 01:07:37,001 --> 01:07:38,836 and, and we've come so far through it, 821 01:07:39,438 --> 01:07:42,307 and I just don't want to reopen it, you know? 822 01:07:42,573 --> 01:07:46,211 It's good now, and I just, I kind of want to keep it that way. 823 01:11:11,312 --> 01:11:16,312 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull