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Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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- Hey!
- Hey, babe.
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I got lost.
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- I'm here now.
- It's fine.
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Yes!
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00:01:16,654 --> 00:01:17,988
Neil!
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Hi, babe, it's good to see you!
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00:02:43,108 --> 00:02:44,042
Hi.
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00:02:48,046 --> 00:02:50,415
- Do you have a cigarette?
- Yeah.
10
00:02:51,216 --> 00:02:52,950
- Amazing.
- Of course.
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00:02:53,552 --> 00:02:55,287
I'm trying to hide it
from my husband,
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00:02:55,420 --> 00:02:57,888
and I can't carry a pack on me,
and I'm just dying for one.
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Thank you.
Also, everyone vapes, right?
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It's so hard to find anyone
with a cig...
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Thank you so much.
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00:03:11,869 --> 00:03:13,205
Do you remember me?
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You don't, do you?
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00:03:19,009 --> 00:03:21,079
No, I'm so sorry.
I don't. I, no, um...
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00:03:21,379 --> 00:03:25,417
Was it...
was it a book thing?
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00:03:26,418 --> 00:03:29,054
It was in New York.
With a lot of my friends.
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00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:35,826
No, I... I have no idea
what you're talking about.
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00:03:36,827 --> 00:03:38,063
You don't know Simon?
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00:03:38,729 --> 00:03:41,333
Simon... Oh! Simon Soga?
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Simon Brickner.
He, he brought you.
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A bunch of my friends
were there.
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And you're definitely not
getting me
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00:03:55,213 --> 00:03:56,414
confused with someone else?
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00:03:57,682 --> 00:03:59,016
No. No.
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00:04:00,485 --> 00:04:02,753
You don't remember Simon?
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00:04:04,855 --> 00:04:06,258
How is that possible?
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00:04:07,858 --> 00:04:09,494
Was this, um...
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00:04:11,496 --> 00:04:12,997
when I lost my dog?
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00:04:14,232 --> 00:04:15,400
You lost your dog?
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00:06:44,749 --> 00:06:46,016
Do you forget
all your works
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after you write them?
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"The more she listened,
the more Claire realized
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it didn't matter.
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She simply did not speak
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the language."
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"Does memory even matter?
Syntax or conjugations...
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00:07:04,335 --> 00:07:05,936
Comprehend that
now she is alone...
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00:07:06,070 --> 00:07:07,539
There's a certain...
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Except for the sounds
in room two, three, four..."
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00:07:29,394 --> 00:07:30,562
Hey, uh,
can I help you find something?
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00:07:30,695 --> 00:07:32,263
No. No, just...
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...Two dollars. Sorry.
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00:09:05,123 --> 00:09:07,525
May I help you?
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May I help you?
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No response. Thank you.
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You're welcome, ma'am.
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All right, goodb...
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He was really conservative...
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00:10:36,981 --> 00:10:38,316
So, like, so important...
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00:10:40,052 --> 00:10:41,152
Yeah...
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She's bisexual...
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In middle school,
I was the herb,
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and then high school came,
and, like, everything changed.
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That's when, like, everybody
wanted to start talking to me,
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and all of that. It all changed.
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00:10:54,599 --> 00:10:56,135
But that was
going towards, like...
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00:10:56,267 --> 00:10:58,403
when I hit
my sophomore year, like,
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I got poppin', like,
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well, I'm not saying that I'm like,
you know, poppin' or anything.
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I'm just saying,
people wanted to talk to me
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and stuff.
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- Do you believe in God?
- No.
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Have you been in love?
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Yes.
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Are you in love now?
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Probably, and it's horrible.
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Why is it horrible?
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Um, because instead of it being
all, like, sunshine and rainbows,
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it's more of, like, a black hole
in the middle of nowhere
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that you can't
really get out of,
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and then
when you are getting out of it,
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you slip back deeper
into the hole.
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Yeah.
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00:12:05,636 --> 00:12:07,139
That's really awful.
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00:12:08,107 --> 00:12:09,974
But have you ever been
in love before?
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Yeah, I think so.
I, um...
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You know, I don't know. I...
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I don't actually remember that.
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Excuse me, ma'am.
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Are you Jewish?
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- Are you Jewish?
- Huh?
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Are you Jewish, ma'am?
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- Are you Jewish?
- I don't know.
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- What's... What?
- I d... I don't know.
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Are you Jewish?
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I don't know. I don't know.
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Have a... Have a good night.
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Have a good night.
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...Call and ask if they
can cut me a break, please.
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Damn, it's...
It's really like that.
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It's a cold world.
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Never forget, man.
It's a cold world.
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Excuse me, Miss.
Sorry to bother you.
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Um, would you like to buy
any of these hot dogs?
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- Uh-uh.
- No?
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00:14:52,703 --> 00:14:56,707
Okay. Like, I'm not
a hot dog enthusiast.
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I'm not out here trying to buy
a billion hot dogs.
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It's a credit card minimum.
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00:15:01,479 --> 00:15:02,747
No.
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00:15:03,315 --> 00:15:05,750
Yeah, they wouldn't let me
get just two. It's ridiculous.
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Sorry.
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Damn, you're killin' me. Okay.
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Um... how about I'll give you
a hot dog for free.
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And at the end,
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you'll want to pay me
because they're so savory.
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I, I think I'm vegetarian.
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- Oh, you a vegetarian?
- Yeah.
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Oh, damn. Okay.
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That's pretty cool that
you're a vegetarian.
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I think I'm gluten intolerant,
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and I just come here, like...
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I know I'm not supposed
to eat the buns,
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but I eat the buns anyway, man.
They're too good.
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Yo... if you're vegetarian,
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why are you eating
at Papaya Dog?
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Um...
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I just wanted
to take a break,
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but don't tell them.
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I won't tell him.
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Why, why...
What do you even put on those?
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'Cause they look,
like, very dry.
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I put on ketchup and mustard.
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That's how I roll. My momma,
my brother, my sister,
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they just put ketchup.
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Conformists.
Can't fuck with them.
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What about your dad?
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Man, I don't even want to talk
about my dad, man.
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He's an asshole.
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Because of what he puts
on hot dogs?
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00:16:30,202 --> 00:16:32,937
Not because of what
he puts on his hot dogs, man.
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Like, I, I wish it was 'cause
of what he put on his hot dogs.
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I can't even start, like...
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He's just an asshole, man.
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That's terrible.
139
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I appreciate you saying that.
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I don't really want
to be in that space right now.
141
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Uh, you want to pay me
for these hot dogs?
142
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No.
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00:16:54,493 --> 00:16:56,395
Yo, but you were,
you were just playing with it.
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You were touching it.
You're killing the resale.
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No
146
00:17:01,599 --> 00:17:03,201
No? Mmm.
147
00:17:03,768 --> 00:17:05,970
You want to
buy some weed off me?
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00:17:07,671 --> 00:17:08,639
No.
149
00:17:09,041 --> 00:17:10,941
Uh, do you want to smoke
some weed with me?
150
00:17:15,713 --> 00:17:17,049
Okay, I respect that.
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00:17:17,315 --> 00:17:21,786
Um, I'm getting out of here.
Uh, wanna come with me?
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Okay.
153
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All right, cool. Cool!
Damn. Okay.
154
00:17:32,364 --> 00:17:33,564
Very cool.
155
00:17:33,931 --> 00:17:35,800
But you've left your hot dogs.
156
00:17:36,101 --> 00:17:38,669
I'm a vegetarian now.
You've inspired me.
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00:17:43,908 --> 00:17:45,709
And gluten intolerant.
158
00:17:46,411 --> 00:17:47,645
And gluten intolerant.
159
00:17:48,113 --> 00:17:50,014
I, I'm just all of it.
I can't eat anything.
160
00:17:50,148 --> 00:17:51,982
I'm slowly starving to death.
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00:18:02,127 --> 00:18:04,296
- Do you have any siblings?
- I don't know.
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00:18:05,596 --> 00:18:07,165
What? You don't know?
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00:18:07,332 --> 00:18:08,567
Uhm-hm.
164
00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:10,168
What is...
165
00:18:10,302 --> 00:18:12,337
Maybe, maybe you have some
long-lost siblings
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00:18:12,471 --> 00:18:13,438
who you don't know.
167
00:18:13,604 --> 00:18:15,840
Yeah. Yeah, maybe.
168
00:18:16,308 --> 00:18:19,411
Maybe I do too,
'cause my dad was fuckin' horny.
169
00:18:19,777 --> 00:18:21,645
- What?
- My dad was horny.
170
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,248
Horny as in, like...?
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00:18:23,381 --> 00:18:25,283
He's covered in horns.
He's very sharp.
172
00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:26,617
You can't get near him.
173
00:18:27,252 --> 00:18:29,187
Oh, so you mean, like,
maybe he's got off with other people?
174
00:18:29,421 --> 00:18:31,123
Yeah, he's got off
with other people.
175
00:18:35,826 --> 00:18:36,894
You're very warm world.
176
00:18:37,028 --> 00:18:38,430
What is warm world?
177
00:18:38,796 --> 00:18:40,398
Warm world is like, um...
178
00:18:41,399 --> 00:18:43,535
that's like the words,
"I love you."
179
00:18:44,202 --> 00:18:46,104
It's like, like saying,
"I love you."
180
00:18:46,438 --> 00:18:48,906
That's, that's a good example
of something warm world.
181
00:18:49,207 --> 00:18:52,277
Or, you had a bad day,
why'd you have a bad day?
182
00:18:52,910 --> 00:18:56,481
Or when a, like,
a polar bear, like,
183
00:18:57,082 --> 00:18:59,184
nests her cubs, and, like...
184
00:18:59,518 --> 00:19:00,885
makes sure they're warm.
185
00:19:01,052 --> 00:19:03,721
- That's warm world.
- Oh, my God. That's great.
186
00:19:03,854 --> 00:19:05,257
There's an opposite
of that, too.
187
00:19:05,524 --> 00:19:06,625
Hmm?
188
00:19:06,824 --> 00:19:08,460
- Cold world.
- What's cold world?
189
00:19:08,659 --> 00:19:12,030
Cold world is, like,
"Yo, are you cryin'?"
190
00:19:12,164 --> 00:19:13,764
Ladies and gentlemen...
191
00:19:13,898 --> 00:19:15,534
"Man the fuck up.
Why are you crying?"
192
00:19:15,666 --> 00:19:17,035
Cold world is like...
193
00:19:17,502 --> 00:19:19,204
The next uptown
local train is now arriving.
194
00:19:19,337 --> 00:19:21,906
It's like a boot stepping
on another person's face.
195
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:23,375
- A what?
- A boot.
196
00:19:23,508 --> 00:19:25,243
- What's a boo?
- It's like a heavy shoe.
197
00:19:25,477 --> 00:19:28,113
- Like a big shoe.
- A... Oh, shoe!
198
00:19:28,547 --> 00:19:30,915
You've gotta say the "T", man.
Otherwise, I didn't get it.
199
00:19:31,049 --> 00:19:32,950
- A boot.
- A boot.
200
00:19:42,060 --> 00:19:43,894
Thirty-fourth Street.
201
00:19:52,671 --> 00:19:53,804
Thanks.
202
00:19:57,542 --> 00:19:58,842
Appreciate.
203
00:19:59,644 --> 00:20:00,844
Fine.
204
00:20:02,647 --> 00:20:07,252
I do feel like I just need
to find this girl, though.
205
00:20:12,090 --> 00:20:14,559
- I need to find someone.
- Yo...
206
00:20:15,227 --> 00:20:18,296
Oh, dear. I need to find...
I need to find a girl.
207
00:20:19,030 --> 00:20:21,066
- I need to find this girl.
- Hey, hey, hey.
208
00:20:21,199 --> 00:20:23,235
- We can fin...
- What? Don't touch... Don't.
209
00:20:28,273 --> 00:20:30,075
Was it something
I said, man?
210
00:20:37,915 --> 00:20:39,517
Did I say something wrong?
211
00:20:41,219 --> 00:20:43,321
It's just a little weird
that you need to find some girl.
212
00:20:43,455 --> 00:20:44,422
It's not weird.
213
00:20:46,757 --> 00:20:48,093
Let's just keep walking, okay?
214
00:20:48,792 --> 00:20:50,228
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
215
00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:57,535
Where are we going again?
216
00:20:57,702 --> 00:21:00,171
Uh, we're going to my
hiding spot for my weed,
217
00:21:00,305 --> 00:21:01,805
'cause my mom searches my room.
218
00:21:02,006 --> 00:21:02,906
Where is it?
219
00:21:03,508 --> 00:21:05,043
Where is it?
You'll see. You'll see.
220
00:21:05,176 --> 00:21:06,944
We're really close, actually.
221
00:22:05,537 --> 00:22:08,206
So many people tell me
the exact same thing.
222
00:22:10,608 --> 00:22:13,111
- And what? What's that?
- I don't know.
223
00:22:13,244 --> 00:22:15,080
It's just a little bit
beyond my grasp,
224
00:22:15,213 --> 00:22:16,147
every single time.
225
00:22:16,281 --> 00:22:17,515
But you're close, though.
226
00:22:17,649 --> 00:22:18,750
I'm so close.
227
00:22:18,982 --> 00:22:20,218
Yeah, I so identify with that.
228
00:22:20,352 --> 00:22:22,620
I think it's all just beyond my
grasp too,
229
00:22:22,754 --> 00:22:24,456
and I feel like I'm just
about to get there,
230
00:22:24,589 --> 00:22:28,159
and then it just...
yeah, it slips away.
231
00:22:29,327 --> 00:22:32,030
You don't have it.
232
00:22:38,770 --> 00:22:39,970
I don't.
233
00:22:41,506 --> 00:22:43,775
Nah, but nobody really
has it forever.
234
00:22:55,919 --> 00:22:59,557
I don't remember who I am...
235
00:23:02,527 --> 00:23:04,462
or where I'm supposed to go.
236
00:23:11,603 --> 00:23:12,970
And all of my memories
237
00:23:13,471 --> 00:23:16,940
begin with me walking
among these people, and...
238
00:23:19,144 --> 00:23:21,513
and I don't want anyone
to know that.
239
00:23:38,996 --> 00:23:41,266
Closed. Closed.
240
00:23:46,171 --> 00:23:47,705
- No?
- We're closed..
241
00:24:13,198 --> 00:24:14,265
Hello, how are you?
242
00:24:14,399 --> 00:24:15,667
Hi. Some hot water.
243
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,670
Hot water?
How are you, good?
244
00:24:26,110 --> 00:24:29,147
That $2.50, please. $2.50.
245
00:24:31,282 --> 00:24:33,818
- Oh, I've left my bag at the...
- Huh?
246
00:24:34,419 --> 00:24:37,822
I've left my, my bag at the...
247
00:24:39,157 --> 00:24:41,092
What do you mean
you left your bag over there?
248
00:24:41,226 --> 00:24:42,993
- Why you come if you have no bag?
- I'll come back in a minute.
249
00:24:43,127 --> 00:24:45,263
Can you just gi... 'Cause you
put the water in it now. Can...
250
00:24:45,396 --> 00:24:47,565
I know I put the water,
but why you don't told me before?
251
00:24:47,699 --> 00:24:49,267
- Before I opened it?
- Because I forgot.
252
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,102
I'm really hungry.
I haven't eaten. Can I please...
253
00:24:51,236 --> 00:24:52,871
Everybody's saying
the same thing.
254
00:24:53,438 --> 00:24:55,540
I mean, it's only going to waste if I
go back and come back, and I won't...
255
00:24:55,773 --> 00:24:57,709
I know,
But you should tell me before I opened it.
256
00:24:58,309 --> 00:25:00,278
I know, but I live around the corner.
I'll bring it... I'll bring it in a second.
257
00:25:00,545 --> 00:25:02,514
- This is the first time I know you.
- I'm really hungry.
258
00:25:02,647 --> 00:25:04,482
- No, I can't do it.
- I haven't eaten today,
259
00:25:04,883 --> 00:25:06,384
so can you please just... If you're
not going to give it to anyone else...
260
00:25:06,518 --> 00:25:07,819
You should've told me
before I opened it. No.
261
00:25:07,952 --> 00:25:09,454
You see what you did?
Go bring and come back.
262
00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:23,861
Okay, so, like...
263
00:26:24,095 --> 00:26:25,530
It's me, like,
264
00:26:25,830 --> 00:26:29,400
I'm afraid I'm gonna be
addicted to, like, substances...
265
00:26:30,134 --> 00:26:31,469
like, that are bad.
266
00:26:31,669 --> 00:26:34,305
Like, I don't know, like alcohol
and stuff like that.
267
00:26:34,439 --> 00:26:36,075
Like, I'm afraid
I'm gonna do that.
268
00:26:36,507 --> 00:26:39,110
Um. Yeah,
that's why I'm trying to live...
269
00:26:39,477 --> 00:26:40,645
Carefree.
270
00:26:41,312 --> 00:26:43,082
Yeah, I'm trying to... Um, yeah.
I don't think about that often,
271
00:26:43,214 --> 00:26:48,019
but you know... I, like, stay
away from drinking and stuff.
272
00:26:49,054 --> 00:26:51,255
Is that because of
something in your history?
273
00:26:51,990 --> 00:26:55,593
Yeah, 'cause, like,
family stuff. Yeah.
274
00:26:56,095 --> 00:26:57,428
Aw, I'm sorry.
275
00:26:58,863 --> 00:27:01,666
Yeah. I mean, what can you do?
I mean, it's not like...
276
00:27:01,866 --> 00:27:03,568
I mean,
it's not my fault, but...
277
00:27:03,701 --> 00:27:04,769
Like...
278
00:27:05,570 --> 00:27:07,872
Like, I know, like, I know a lot of
people who met in high school and stuff.
279
00:27:08,439 --> 00:27:09,907
I guess, it's more just, like,
280
00:27:10,042 --> 00:27:12,810
I just haven't, like,
felt that way ever.
281
00:27:12,944 --> 00:27:14,812
I don't know. I think
the reason why is 'cause,
282
00:27:14,946 --> 00:27:17,215
like, if love is, like,
a one in a million thing
283
00:27:17,348 --> 00:27:20,551
and I've met 20 people, then,
like, my odds are, like, slim.
284
00:27:20,785 --> 00:27:22,320
So, maybe it'll happen
when I go to college.
285
00:27:22,453 --> 00:27:23,821
- Yeah.
- Or, like...
286
00:27:23,955 --> 00:27:26,257
- I doubt it.
- Yeah, okay. Thank you.
287
00:27:26,391 --> 00:27:29,061
Um, no, I don't know...
288
00:27:30,161 --> 00:27:32,697
Do you ever wish
you could change something
289
00:27:32,830 --> 00:27:33,831
about yourself?
290
00:27:34,832 --> 00:27:35,833
I guess...
291
00:27:37,468 --> 00:27:39,771
my talents or my ambitions.
292
00:27:39,904 --> 00:27:41,572
So what are your talents
and ambitions?
293
00:27:41,773 --> 00:27:44,642
I like, you know, like
artsy types of stuff.
294
00:27:45,009 --> 00:27:49,714
My family's a very career,
like, driven, li...
295
00:27:49,847 --> 00:27:52,517
engineering, medical school
type of family,
296
00:27:52,650 --> 00:27:55,420
so if I could have that
type of interest
297
00:27:55,553 --> 00:27:57,089
in my life,
that would make things easier.
298
00:27:57,221 --> 00:27:58,890
So you wish that you
were interested in engineering,
299
00:27:59,023 --> 00:28:02,293
but wouldn't you wish that your
parents would be the one
300
00:28:02,493 --> 00:28:04,328
- to change what they think?
- Yeah.
301
00:28:04,495 --> 00:28:06,497
Oh, wait.
302
00:28:06,664 --> 00:28:10,234
That makes way more sense.
That makes way more sense.
303
00:29:00,551 --> 00:29:03,454
- Hi. Um, I'm staying here.
- Oh.
304
00:29:03,588 --> 00:29:04,889
I was staying here last night.
305
00:29:05,022 --> 00:29:06,791
Fantastic. I hope you
had a comfortable stay.
306
00:29:06,924 --> 00:29:09,161
Yeah, no, it was, it was,
it was, uh, it was lovely,
307
00:29:09,293 --> 00:29:13,998
but I just, I've, um, I've
mis... I've misplaced my key.
308
00:29:15,067 --> 00:29:17,268
Okay. Um, what room is it?
309
00:29:17,902 --> 00:29:19,437
Uh, it's 234.
310
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:22,707
And, uh, what's your name?
311
00:29:23,941 --> 00:29:25,676
No, my name isn't
on the reservation.
312
00:29:25,810 --> 00:29:27,411
Whose name
is on the reservation?
313
00:29:27,545 --> 00:29:29,313
I don't know that, actually.
314
00:29:29,547 --> 00:29:31,116
Okay, uh, I can help. Um...
315
00:29:31,282 --> 00:29:32,483
Well, just give me a name.
316
00:29:32,950 --> 00:29:34,819
Can you just... Do you mind
if you just give me the key?
317
00:29:36,020 --> 00:29:38,523
You seem legit.
I want to help you.
318
00:29:38,756 --> 00:29:40,925
I just legally, I can't just...
319
00:29:41,425 --> 00:29:42,760
Uh...
320
00:29:45,963 --> 00:29:47,032
Miss?
321
00:32:16,614 --> 00:32:20,352
Hey, I'm sorry to bother you.
Sorry, um,
322
00:32:20,484 --> 00:32:22,520
are you Alina Reynolds,
by any chance?
323
00:32:24,056 --> 00:32:26,590
- Yes.
- Yes. Cool.
324
00:32:26,724 --> 00:32:28,360
You had me in suspense
for a moment. I...
325
00:32:28,626 --> 00:32:31,029
- No, sorry, I don't...
- I've seen you. Uh, sorry.
326
00:32:31,229 --> 00:32:34,598
I'm a big fan of your work.
That's a, I saw you at the...
327
00:32:34,732 --> 00:32:36,467
- Really?
- Yeah. Yeah,
328
00:32:36,767 --> 00:32:39,670
I saw you at a reading, like,
two years ago, a, at Greened-Eyed books,
329
00:32:39,837 --> 00:32:41,973
- for, um, Italian Studies.
- God, yes.
330
00:32:42,107 --> 00:32:45,009
I, yeah. I'm just, I,
It was awesome to see you then.
331
00:32:45,143 --> 00:32:46,877
It's awesome
to see you now. I, like,
332
00:32:47,011 --> 00:32:48,946
that book changed how I thought.
333
00:32:49,081 --> 00:32:50,881
- Mmm.
- It's such a cliché, but it changed what I thought,
334
00:32:51,015 --> 00:32:52,883
like, short stories could do.
335
00:32:53,017 --> 00:32:54,652
You know
all of them well, or, um...
336
00:32:54,785 --> 00:32:57,322
Um, yeah. I probably know them
a bit too, too well.
337
00:32:57,456 --> 00:32:59,458
- I've read, I've read it, like, a bunch of times.
- Mmm.
338
00:32:59,590 --> 00:33:00,858
Well, that's more than I have.
339
00:33:02,827 --> 00:33:05,830
Yeah, I mean, I really love
the whole, like, universe you create
340
00:33:05,963 --> 00:33:10,102
- and how they weave together, and it's, like, very beautiful.
- Mmm.
341
00:33:10,868 --> 00:33:12,837
Are you working
on anything new right now?
342
00:33:12,970 --> 00:33:13,938
Um...
343
00:33:15,140 --> 00:33:16,640
- Yes.
- Yeah?
344
00:33:16,874 --> 00:33:19,177
- Yes, I am.
- Short stories? A novel?
345
00:33:19,311 --> 00:33:20,678
- An autobiographical?
- It's a novel.
346
00:33:20,811 --> 00:33:22,214
- Yeah. Mmm.
- Oh, okay.
347
00:33:22,347 --> 00:33:25,117
It'll be great to read you
in that long of form.
348
00:33:25,250 --> 00:33:26,485
Oh, that's nice.
349
00:33:27,018 --> 00:33:31,522
Is, is it sort of also a bildungsroman?
Coming of age kind of...
350
00:33:32,023 --> 00:33:33,791
- Yep. It is.
- Yeah?
351
00:33:33,924 --> 00:33:35,926
It's about, um,
a, a young boy.
352
00:33:36,061 --> 00:33:38,497
- Uh-huh.
- See, who, uh, he really loves hot dogs.
353
00:33:38,662 --> 00:33:41,266
He has this real thing about hot dogs, but he's
just developed this gluten intolerance, so...
354
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,667
I mean, no, that's just, that's how it starts.
355
00:33:43,801 --> 00:33:45,536
- Okay. Tragic for him...
- Uh...
356
00:33:45,836 --> 00:33:47,938
But, yeah, yeah. And he's, you know,
he's fallen out with his parents.
357
00:33:48,073 --> 00:33:51,043
He's, like, really, his mom doesn't
want him to smoke so much weed.
358
00:33:51,176 --> 00:33:52,576
- It's, you know, it's...
- Right.
359
00:33:53,245 --> 00:33:55,180
So hot dogs can be
kind of a coping mechanism.
360
00:33:55,380 --> 00:33:58,383
I mean, the, and he's just
doing dogs and no buns, huh?
361
00:33:58,783 --> 00:34:01,153
Yeah.
That's a good line, actually.
362
00:34:01,286 --> 00:34:02,887
I could use that.
363
00:34:03,020 --> 00:34:06,224
My ex was gluten intolerant,
364
00:34:06,358 --> 00:34:09,927
and otherwise, very tolerant
as a person, but a celiac,
365
00:34:10,062 --> 00:34:13,631
and I gave her
my copy of Italian Studies.
366
00:34:13,864 --> 00:34:15,133
Have not had it returned,
367
00:34:15,900 --> 00:34:18,503
but I lost all my marginalia,
and all of the notes that I had marked up
368
00:34:18,669 --> 00:34:23,341
with your, just, you know,
and every, every story was...
369
00:34:50,335 --> 00:34:51,802
"If only she could understand
370
00:34:51,936 --> 00:34:54,106
the sounds
coming from room 234,
371
00:34:54,772 --> 00:34:58,343
but the more she listened,
the more Claire realized
372
00:34:58,477 --> 00:34:59,544
it didn't matter.
373
00:34:59,977 --> 00:35:02,314
She simply did not
speak the language.
374
00:35:03,614 --> 00:35:05,117
Claire had the door slammed.
375
00:35:07,017 --> 00:35:08,487
For now, she was alone,
376
00:35:08,986 --> 00:35:11,822
except for the sounds
in room 234."
377
00:35:26,238 --> 00:35:29,341
Excuse me. Have
you got a pen I could borrow?
378
00:35:31,176 --> 00:35:32,110
Thanks
379
00:35:45,090 --> 00:35:46,424
Excuse me.
380
00:35:49,060 --> 00:35:51,729
- That's a library book.
- Yeah.
381
00:35:54,032 --> 00:35:55,567
I'm sorry,
what are you doing?
382
00:35:55,699 --> 00:35:57,102
I'm just signing it.
383
00:35:59,904 --> 00:36:01,705
- Did you write it?
- Yeah.
384
00:36:02,274 --> 00:36:04,942
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Well, good for you.
385
00:36:05,110 --> 00:36:06,944
Thanks.
It's actually, it's actually,
386
00:36:07,179 --> 00:36:09,013
it's not bad, actually.
It's quite good.
387
00:36:09,147 --> 00:36:10,615
I'm sure it's a beautiful book.
388
00:36:10,781 --> 00:36:12,083
I believe you,
and I'm not. I'm not...
389
00:36:12,350 --> 00:36:14,718
This is not to derogate
your book at all, it's just...
390
00:36:14,885 --> 00:36:16,354
The library
is a common resource.
391
00:36:16,488 --> 00:36:19,924
Exactly, yeah. And I'm
just adding to the library.
392
00:36:20,058 --> 00:36:22,026
It's not your book
or my book, it's our book.
393
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:23,694
I'm making it better
for the library.
394
00:36:23,827 --> 00:36:25,263
The library...
library's for everyone.
395
00:36:25,863 --> 00:36:27,065
Oh. Well, good for you.
396
00:36:27,199 --> 00:36:28,333
Make a splendid edition
to the library...
397
00:36:28,466 --> 00:36:30,035
Sir, shh.
Keep your voice down.
398
00:36:30,868 --> 00:36:32,070
Library.
399
00:36:33,205 --> 00:36:35,440
You're a gem.
400
00:36:36,274 --> 00:36:40,679
You know, you're cold world.
You are cold world.
401
00:36:41,146 --> 00:36:42,347
A signed book is warm world.
402
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:43,948
- I'm warm world.
- Okay. I'm sorry.
403
00:36:44,082 --> 00:36:46,016
I overreacted. Forgive me.
404
00:36:46,284 --> 00:36:47,185
I'm, uh...
405
00:36:47,619 --> 00:36:49,521
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said anything.
406
00:36:49,654 --> 00:36:50,754
Mmm. Yeah.
407
00:36:50,888 --> 00:36:52,290
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
408
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,042
"'Lucinda, '
published September 2014
409
00:37:11,176 --> 00:37:13,844
in Conjunctions, volume five,
issue two.
410
00:37:14,512 --> 00:37:16,548
Erin McCloud
spent much of her early life
411
00:37:16,681 --> 00:37:18,250
trying to get lost in herself.
412
00:37:18,583 --> 00:37:22,019
She thought too much, and then
thought about thinking too much,
413
00:37:22,254 --> 00:37:23,754
and then thought
about what others thought
414
00:37:23,887 --> 00:37:25,823
about her thinking too much.
415
00:37:28,093 --> 00:37:31,363
Her editor called the subjects of
the latest piece she was assigned,
416
00:37:31,496 --> 00:37:32,464
'The Kids.'
417
00:37:32,597 --> 00:37:33,964
And she found that amusing
418
00:37:34,099 --> 00:37:35,933
because she was only
a few years older.
419
00:37:37,068 --> 00:37:38,470
But Erin thought nothing of it
420
00:37:38,670 --> 00:37:40,071
when she had to cancel a date
with her boyfriend
421
00:37:40,205 --> 00:37:41,640
because, as she told him,
422
00:37:41,839 --> 00:37:44,209
she was going to see
The Kids play their concert."
423
00:37:56,020 --> 00:38:00,659
♪ Chew me up
And spit me out ♪
424
00:38:00,791 --> 00:38:07,332
♪ I'm not ready to bounce
Outta this bitch ♪
425
00:38:07,699 --> 00:38:14,639
♪ You're alive
And you're on fire ♪
426
00:38:14,773 --> 00:38:16,574
♪ Gotta speak
universal question,
427
00:38:16,775 --> 00:38:19,110
♪ The lyrics is so provocative
This the rapper's apocalypse ♪
428
00:38:19,311 --> 00:38:21,513
♪ This rap is apoca-lit
Dang continent ♪
429
00:38:21,646 --> 00:38:23,748
♪ Showstoppers
And flow rockin it ♪
430
00:38:24,449 --> 00:38:26,518
"She integrated herself
well enough to the teens,
431
00:38:26,685 --> 00:38:29,987
striking a balance between
observation and engagement."
432
00:38:32,357 --> 00:38:35,660
"But then, she was struck into
a state by one of the performers,
433
00:38:36,094 --> 00:38:37,495
a singer named Lucinda."
434
00:38:37,629 --> 00:38:40,298
♪ I smoke to live
But I slow down ♪
435
00:38:40,432 --> 00:38:45,070
♪ I have dreams about those
I don't know anymore ♪
436
00:38:45,303 --> 00:38:49,207
♪ Feels are dull
Brain is null ♪
437
00:38:50,175 --> 00:38:52,910
♪ I've always been too wary ♪
438
00:38:53,345 --> 00:38:56,748
♪ The touched heart
Inevitably breaks ♪
439
00:38:57,248 --> 00:39:02,053
♪ We're all scared to hold it ♪
440
00:39:02,654 --> 00:39:06,157
♪ Once you had it all
I would run when you called ♪
441
00:39:06,291 --> 00:39:08,259
♪ You said we're
Going for a hike ♪
442
00:39:08,393 --> 00:39:10,462
♪ and then you'd
Leave me at the dump ♪
443
00:39:10,894 --> 00:39:14,599
♪ Always known too much
I'm a complex person ♪
444
00:39:14,733 --> 00:39:18,670
♪ They say I'm made of ice
I know now that I deserve it ♪
445
00:39:19,237 --> 00:39:23,108
♪ Summer by Gowanus River ♪
446
00:39:23,308 --> 00:39:27,078
♪ I always knew
You'd pull the trigger ♪
447
00:39:27,445 --> 00:39:31,383
♪ Said you'd
Spend it by my side ♪
448
00:39:31,516 --> 00:39:35,286
♪ Was it me
Who changed your mind? ♪
449
00:39:35,854 --> 00:39:41,292
♪ Maybe if we had more time? ♪
450
00:39:58,909 --> 00:40:00,412
"She searched for Lucinda,
451
00:40:01,279 --> 00:40:04,249
the singer who had so
entranced her at the concert,
452
00:40:05,350 --> 00:40:08,952
but no one seemed to know who
she was, or even remember her.
453
00:40:10,121 --> 00:40:13,991
But maybe it didn't matter.
Even the search was fulfilling."
454
00:40:24,235 --> 00:40:25,670
He forgot the password.
455
00:40:25,804 --> 00:40:27,405
He made it so many times
that I don't remember
456
00:40:27,539 --> 00:40:29,040
what the password...
457
00:40:29,174 --> 00:40:31,676
Oh, my God! Can I see it?
458
00:40:39,184 --> 00:40:40,852
I met this kid from Texas
yesterday.
459
00:40:40,984 --> 00:40:42,520
I want to go to Texas so bad,
460
00:40:42,687 --> 00:40:45,290
because there'd be a lot of
other people that are like me,
461
00:40:45,423 --> 00:40:46,491
but...
462
00:40:47,225 --> 00:40:48,293
He think's there'd be a lot
of other people like you in Texas?
463
00:40:48,426 --> 00:40:49,427
- Yeah.
- Why?
464
00:40:49,694 --> 00:40:51,329
I don't know.
465
00:40:51,563 --> 00:40:53,798
He said that, and I was just,
like, that's interesting.
466
00:40:53,932 --> 00:40:55,667
What's a person like you?
467
00:40:57,936 --> 00:41:02,140
I'm open
to try different things.
468
00:41:03,107 --> 00:41:04,309
That's what I think.
469
00:41:05,844 --> 00:41:07,045
Yeah.
470
00:41:07,846 --> 00:41:09,180
I want to be a person like you.
471
00:41:09,447 --> 00:41:10,748
- Really?
- Yeah.
472
00:41:10,949 --> 00:41:12,015
- Really?
- Yeah.
473
00:41:12,183 --> 00:41:13,585
That makes me feel good.
474
00:41:13,718 --> 00:41:14,853
Good.
475
00:41:14,985 --> 00:41:16,321
I never heard that before.
476
00:42:19,951 --> 00:42:21,185
Simon.
477
00:42:25,523 --> 00:42:26,457
Hi.
478
00:42:36,634 --> 00:42:38,002
Have you ever been in love?
479
00:42:38,236 --> 00:42:40,572
Yeah. Yeah.
480
00:42:42,473 --> 00:42:46,045
I saw her the first time at camp
and my jaw dropped.
481
00:42:46,244 --> 00:42:47,478
It was...
482
00:42:47,645 --> 00:42:50,448
I had crushes,
but I never knew what lo...
483
00:42:50,582 --> 00:42:52,784
I saw her the first time,
I was, like, oh...
484
00:42:53,785 --> 00:42:54,552
She was all alone.
485
00:42:55,253 --> 00:42:58,756
It was raining, and I was,
like, "Hey, do you draw?"
486
00:42:58,890 --> 00:43:00,725
And I guessed that she drew,
'cause she had short hair.
487
00:43:00,858 --> 00:43:02,460
And I got kicked out
of that camp,
488
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:04,796
but before, right before I got
kicked out, I came up to her
489
00:43:04,929 --> 00:43:06,631
because we didn't really talk,
but we were interested in each other,
490
00:43:06,798 --> 00:43:08,933
and I was, like,
"Yo, I'm getting kicked out,
491
00:43:09,267 --> 00:43:10,868
but, like, keep doing you."
492
00:43:11,002 --> 00:43:13,171
And then when the program
was over, she hit me up,
493
00:43:13,638 --> 00:43:17,542
and we hung out once the first
time, and my mom left,
494
00:43:17,909 --> 00:43:20,378
and she said her dad died,
495
00:43:20,511 --> 00:43:25,016
and she, we met the first time,
and she told me the story of her life.
496
00:43:25,149 --> 00:43:26,150
It was tragic,
497
00:43:26,517 --> 00:43:28,853
and I just wanted to protect her
498
00:43:28,987 --> 00:43:30,655
and give her blankets
and chicken soup.
499
00:43:31,022 --> 00:43:33,558
And my mom left,
and we were in the kitchen,
500
00:43:33,691 --> 00:43:35,426
and I was, like,
"Can I kiss you?"
501
00:43:35,893 --> 00:43:39,931
And I, then we kissed. And then we...
502
00:43:40,198 --> 00:43:41,666
We did things. And that was fun,
503
00:43:41,899 --> 00:43:44,202
'cause I'd never really done
those things before, you know?
504
00:43:47,405 --> 00:43:49,507
She's going away, though.
505
00:43:50,042 --> 00:43:51,043
She's going to college.
506
00:43:51,943 --> 00:43:53,845
I'm not going to college,
'cause my parents,
507
00:43:53,978 --> 00:43:54,879
they think I'm a bum.
508
00:44:00,618 --> 00:44:01,986
It's just one thing...
509
00:44:02,620 --> 00:44:05,857
When people are special, everyone
tries to get their grubby hands on them
510
00:44:06,157 --> 00:44:08,726
and take some of their,
their warmth and their love,
511
00:44:08,860 --> 00:44:10,062
you know what I mean?
512
00:44:10,194 --> 00:44:11,429
You think I'm special?
513
00:44:11,763 --> 00:44:13,631
Yeah, I think
you're very obviously special.
514
00:44:14,099 --> 00:44:15,266
Why?
515
00:44:15,566 --> 00:44:17,735
Because you came with me.
And nobody would.
516
00:44:17,935 --> 00:44:19,604
This is a violation
of social norms,
517
00:44:19,737 --> 00:44:21,005
but you didn't give a fuck
about any of that.
518
00:44:21,140 --> 00:44:22,407
Come on!
519
00:44:22,607 --> 00:44:23,941
So I respect that,
like, a lot.
520
00:44:24,109 --> 00:44:25,144
I really do.
521
00:44:25,276 --> 00:44:26,544
Oh...
522
00:44:31,816 --> 00:44:33,484
So I'm writing this book.
523
00:44:33,651 --> 00:44:35,386
Uh, no, I've written a book.
I've written a novel,
524
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:37,156
a collection of short stories,
525
00:44:37,288 --> 00:44:40,491
and, uh, there's one about
a motel and, like, a girl there,
526
00:44:40,625 --> 00:44:43,327
and one about
a girl stuck on a rollercoaster,
527
00:44:44,195 --> 00:44:45,830
and it's mainly
about young people,
528
00:44:45,963 --> 00:44:48,599
and, like, overcoming fear
and weird repressed memories,
529
00:44:48,733 --> 00:44:52,804
but I'm now writing
a, a, a novel,
530
00:44:53,038 --> 00:44:54,939
and it's about teenagers.
531
00:44:55,273 --> 00:44:56,974
- Cool.
- Yeah.
532
00:44:57,709 --> 00:45:02,680
So I just, what I need is
to hang out with some teens.
533
00:45:03,182 --> 00:45:04,315
All right.
534
00:45:04,849 --> 00:45:05,750
Good.
535
00:45:28,372 --> 00:45:30,942
No, my biggest fear, I think,
I think about this sometimes,
536
00:45:31,076 --> 00:45:33,711
is I meet a person I like,
and then I invite them to a party,
537
00:45:33,845 --> 00:45:37,882
but there is no party
and they come.
538
00:45:38,015 --> 00:45:39,984
It's just me, and they're like,
"Where's the party?"
539
00:45:40,119 --> 00:45:44,555
And they have expectations coming
in and they see me in my state,
540
00:45:44,689 --> 00:45:46,290
and I think about this,
and also, like,
541
00:45:46,424 --> 00:45:49,128
dropping a baby in a river is,
like, my second biggest fear.
542
00:45:50,995 --> 00:45:52,363
And did you think there
was ever going to be a party?
543
00:45:52,497 --> 00:45:54,999
No, no. There's no party.
544
00:45:55,167 --> 00:45:58,036
Someone handed me their baby,
and I dropped it in a river.
545
00:45:58,170 --> 00:46:00,271
What? No, I mean
with the person you invited?
546
00:46:00,404 --> 00:46:02,540
Oh! No. No,
547
00:46:02,673 --> 00:46:06,044
there something that tells me, something
inside me tells me to invite them to a party,
548
00:46:06,178 --> 00:46:08,247
and I do, and then
I don't have a party,
549
00:46:08,379 --> 00:46:10,048
and then there's just me
and this person,
550
00:46:10,215 --> 00:46:12,416
and they come to my house,
and they see there's no party,
551
00:46:12,550 --> 00:46:15,953
and also, I'm a liar,
and also, I'm a weirdo.
552
00:46:16,788 --> 00:46:18,656
So if you wanted to get
to know somebody,
553
00:46:18,790 --> 00:46:20,092
what would you ask?
554
00:46:20,424 --> 00:46:22,527
Uh, like,
"What's your favorite thing?"
555
00:46:22,660 --> 00:46:25,329
And then, like, the first three
things that pop into your head.
556
00:46:25,563 --> 00:46:27,465
And what are your
favorite things?
557
00:46:27,665 --> 00:46:32,737
Um, well, I've thought about it a lot,
so it's not off, just off the noggin,
558
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:37,642
but, um, uh, like, dogs,
and trees,
559
00:46:37,775 --> 00:46:41,579
and, um,
hugging people I care about.
560
00:46:44,649 --> 00:46:46,584
- That's beautiful.
- Thanks.
561
00:46:46,784 --> 00:46:49,487
It's fun,
'cause the word "bark"
562
00:46:49,620 --> 00:46:51,589
applies to dogs and trees,
563
00:46:51,722 --> 00:46:53,491
so it's, like, my favorite word.
564
00:46:53,958 --> 00:46:56,494
It's not, actually,
but, like, it's cool.
565
00:46:57,062 --> 00:46:59,198
You know, I don't want
to be seen as someone
566
00:46:59,330 --> 00:47:02,267
who engages in the power dynamics
that boys do, like, you know...
567
00:47:02,667 --> 00:47:05,469
But then, then again,
there's something so cute and harmless
568
00:47:05,603 --> 00:47:07,139
about the feminine
which I aspire to.
569
00:47:07,272 --> 00:47:08,273
I aspire to be harmless.
570
00:47:08,773 --> 00:47:10,708
Oh, you think I'm harmless?
571
00:47:13,078 --> 00:47:15,646
Yeah...
That's not what I meant to say.
572
00:47:16,048 --> 00:47:20,718
What, I'm biol... like, upper body
strength-wise, you know what I mean?
573
00:47:22,620 --> 00:47:24,522
Okay, but I'm th...
I'm thinking
574
00:47:24,956 --> 00:47:26,591
three pieces of bread stacked
575
00:47:26,724 --> 00:47:28,392
is not a bread sandwich
576
00:47:28,526 --> 00:47:31,596
because it's all made out of
the same fundamental ingredient.
577
00:47:31,729 --> 00:47:33,031
That's just, it's just bread.
578
00:47:33,165 --> 00:47:35,366
What about, like, three stacks
of lettuce?
579
00:47:35,533 --> 00:47:36,567
Well, that's just lettuce.
580
00:47:36,701 --> 00:47:38,237
That's not a lettuce sandwich.
581
00:47:39,271 --> 00:47:42,074
Just think about it. There's a world
where you see three pieces of bread,
582
00:47:42,207 --> 00:47:43,941
and you say,
that's three pieces of bread,
583
00:47:44,076 --> 00:47:46,178
and there's a world where
you see three pieces of bread
584
00:47:46,311 --> 00:47:47,511
and say,
that's a bread sandwich,
585
00:47:47,645 --> 00:47:48,913
and to me...
586
00:47:49,047 --> 00:47:50,748
...the latter
is a more beautiful world.
587
00:47:51,682 --> 00:47:55,720
- You've written other books?
- Uh-huh. Just one.
588
00:47:55,853 --> 00:47:58,756
- What was it called?
- Italian Studies.
589
00:47:59,157 --> 00:48:00,225
Wh... What is it about?
590
00:48:00,791 --> 00:48:02,660
It's like a,
a short story collection.
591
00:48:03,095 --> 00:48:04,795
Which one's your favorite?
592
00:48:06,530 --> 00:48:08,166
I didn't get
to the last one, but,
593
00:48:08,532 --> 00:48:11,802
so it could've been that one.
I didn't, I didn't get to finish it today,
594
00:48:11,936 --> 00:48:12,837
but, um...
595
00:48:13,272 --> 00:48:14,805
the "Midland Marines," I think.
596
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:17,276
Do you forget all your
works after you write them?
597
00:48:17,441 --> 00:48:19,244
Yeah.
Isn't that part of it?
598
00:48:19,877 --> 00:48:22,914
Like, does, does memory
even matter,
599
00:48:23,282 --> 00:48:25,317
- given that we're...
- When I was a kid, um...
600
00:48:25,449 --> 00:48:28,853
- It's like a goldfish...
- Yeah, I used to pretend, um...
601
00:48:29,187 --> 00:48:33,691
I would drink, like, Gatorade or
drink some, like, fancy-colored soda,
602
00:48:33,824 --> 00:48:36,128
and I'd pretend it wipes
my whole memory,
603
00:48:36,361 --> 00:48:39,031
and then I'd close my eyes,
and I'd wake up and pretend
604
00:48:39,164 --> 00:48:42,833
to look at my house
as if I'd never seen it before,
605
00:48:42,967 --> 00:48:44,735
and see how long I could go on,
606
00:48:44,869 --> 00:48:46,437
like, pretending
I didn't know anything
607
00:48:46,570 --> 00:48:48,273
about my house or,
like, my family
608
00:48:48,439 --> 00:48:51,642
throughout all my conversations,
and I thought it was fun.
609
00:48:51,776 --> 00:48:53,178
How long did it last?
610
00:48:53,345 --> 00:48:55,913
I would go
for a long time. The whole day.
611
00:48:56,048 --> 00:48:57,515
But usually when I got hungry,
612
00:48:57,648 --> 00:48:59,550
I would ask my mom
to make me a snack.
613
00:49:01,919 --> 00:49:04,588
I'd get so into it, like,
it felt like I actually forgot.
614
00:49:06,258 --> 00:49:07,625
A new perspective.
615
00:49:08,693 --> 00:49:11,163
It's been an anxious life,
if I'm honest.
616
00:49:11,296 --> 00:49:14,966
- Yeah.
- Um, an anxious kid.
617
00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:17,302
Do you think it's just,
like, brain chemistry?
618
00:49:17,436 --> 00:49:18,903
Yeah, I really do,
619
00:49:19,104 --> 00:49:21,306
and I think that's honestly
really important to realize,
620
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:22,773
'cause I think that, like,
621
00:49:22,974 --> 00:49:25,344
you've gotta not think
that you're a terrible person
622
00:49:25,476 --> 00:49:28,713
'cause you can't control
yourself as much as you want to,
623
00:49:28,980 --> 00:49:30,349
and you just have to realize
624
00:49:30,881 --> 00:49:33,218
there's a lot in you that's
controlling you through different,
625
00:49:33,352 --> 00:49:38,256
like, ways that you can't necessarily,
like, take over all the time.
626
00:49:40,491 --> 00:49:47,132
♪ Why, why you creepin'
So slowly? ♪
627
00:49:47,265 --> 00:49:48,333
♪ Oh! ♪
628
00:49:48,566 --> 00:49:53,405
♪ I just want you to hold me ♪
629
00:49:53,604 --> 00:49:54,972
♪ Oh! ♪
630
00:49:55,173 --> 00:50:00,045
♪ Play with my hair
And protect me ♪
631
00:50:00,178 --> 00:50:00,978
♪ Oh! ♪
632
00:50:01,113 --> 00:50:05,417
♪ I just want you to hold me ♪
633
00:50:05,616 --> 00:50:06,984
♪ Oh! ♪
634
00:50:07,185 --> 00:50:12,257
♪ Play with my hair
And protect me ♪
635
00:50:12,457 --> 00:50:14,126
♪ Oh! ♪
636
00:50:14,759 --> 00:50:20,998
♪ Ooh ♪
637
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:25,270
Yeah, that's...
638
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:36,781
I've gotta
get out of here.
639
00:50:47,125 --> 00:50:49,627
- Yo, Alina. Thank you.
- Thank you so much.
640
00:50:50,095 --> 00:50:51,729
- Heart emoji...
- It was good.
641
00:50:51,862 --> 00:50:52,997
It was so good.
642
00:50:53,131 --> 00:50:54,832
I don't have any
of my stuff with me.
643
00:50:54,965 --> 00:50:56,634
- What?
- What do you mean?
644
00:50:56,934 --> 00:50:58,303
Like you don't have cash?
645
00:50:58,869 --> 00:51:00,604
But you have, like,
like do you have one?
646
00:51:00,738 --> 00:51:02,940
Like a... I mean,
you're here.
647
00:51:03,075 --> 00:51:04,875
- Yeah.
- I j... I have nothing on me at all.
648
00:51:05,277 --> 00:51:08,313
- Did you lose it?
- Yeah, I think... I think so.
649
00:51:08,447 --> 00:51:09,880
I just, I don't have it with me.
650
00:51:10,014 --> 00:51:11,216
Do you have any money?
651
00:51:14,453 --> 00:51:15,487
Um...
652
00:51:16,121 --> 00:51:17,988
I guess we all have to...
653
00:51:19,057 --> 00:51:20,991
- There's...
- We're close.
654
00:51:21,126 --> 00:51:23,861
Yeah, can we just,
like... Three twenty-six...
655
00:51:24,362 --> 00:51:26,298
- We're not gonna...
- It's $107...
656
00:51:26,431 --> 00:51:27,665
No, yeah.
657
00:51:27,998 --> 00:51:29,600
Come on, don't say it's okay
if it's not okay.
658
00:51:30,102 --> 00:51:32,736
- No, it's fine.
- Okay. Yeah.
659
00:51:36,508 --> 00:51:39,111
No, there is, I mean, there's,
there is some cash.
660
00:51:42,314 --> 00:51:44,849
♪ Rockabye baby
On the treetop ♪
661
00:51:45,649 --> 00:51:48,286
♪ When the wind blows
The cradle will rock ♪
662
00:51:49,054 --> 00:51:50,322
♪ When the bow breaks ♪
663
00:51:51,021 --> 00:51:52,457
♪ The cradle will fall ♪
664
00:51:52,591 --> 00:51:54,326
♪ And down will come cradle... ♪
665
00:51:56,194 --> 00:51:57,828
♪ Cradle and all ♪
666
00:53:05,130 --> 00:53:06,797
- I write. Yeah.
- Yeah?
667
00:53:06,931 --> 00:53:08,433
Do you like short stories?
668
00:53:08,667 --> 00:53:11,670
I love short stories, actually.
Yeah. Do you have one?
669
00:53:11,835 --> 00:53:15,106
- Yes, I have eight. Yeah.
- Eight? Oh.
670
00:53:16,508 --> 00:53:18,343
- Well, I'm working on a novel.
- Hmm.
671
00:53:18,909 --> 00:53:20,744
But I, I started short stories.
672
00:53:20,878 --> 00:53:22,447
- Hmm.
- It's like a collection.
673
00:53:23,013 --> 00:53:26,685
And this one guy who just smokes lots of
weed and is, you know, confused about...
674
00:53:26,817 --> 00:53:28,752
- That.
- Why the pot-smoking kid?
675
00:53:28,886 --> 00:53:30,121
Yeah.
676
00:53:30,322 --> 00:53:31,889
I don't know,
I'm just genuinely curious,
677
00:53:32,022 --> 00:53:33,757
'cause I feel like it's a
stereotype, and I don't,
678
00:53:33,891 --> 00:53:34,892
I don't know
why people...
679
00:53:35,025 --> 00:53:36,328
That feels judgmental.
680
00:53:36,461 --> 00:53:39,364
No, it's, like, why,
why that perspective?
681
00:53:41,032 --> 00:53:42,967
I don't see
why that's a problem.
682
00:53:43,201 --> 00:53:44,902
No,
I don't think it's a problem.
683
00:53:45,036 --> 00:53:46,737
I just feel like it's not...
684
00:53:51,376 --> 00:53:52,876
original, I guess.
685
00:53:53,877 --> 00:53:55,746
No, I, I mean,
I don't, I don't know.
686
00:53:55,879 --> 00:53:58,882
I'm sorry. Like, I don't, I don't
know what you write normally. Um...
687
00:54:00,385 --> 00:54:02,354
Why don't you just go fuck
yourself?
688
00:54:03,521 --> 00:54:06,124
- Um...
- Okay.
689
00:54:07,392 --> 00:54:08,859
All right.
690
00:54:10,428 --> 00:54:12,664
She doesn't
need to say why.
691
00:54:12,863 --> 00:54:14,699
I think
she was just asking.
692
00:54:14,832 --> 00:54:16,767
- Hmm?
- I think she was just asking.
693
00:54:16,900 --> 00:54:19,337
- I don't think...
- But why does she have to be like...
694
00:54:30,148 --> 00:54:31,416
Uh, I'm Alina.
695
00:54:33,251 --> 00:54:35,019
And I'm from here. I'm a writer.
696
00:54:35,853 --> 00:54:36,820
Wh... What are your names?
697
00:54:37,322 --> 00:54:40,125
- Taylor.
- I'm Sasha.
698
00:54:40,625 --> 00:54:41,825
Lucinda.
699
00:54:44,629 --> 00:54:48,066
- No, you're not Lucinda.
- Yes, I am.
700
00:54:48,199 --> 00:54:50,135
And that's Taylor and Sasha.
701
00:54:51,069 --> 00:54:53,338
- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am.
702
00:54:53,471 --> 00:54:55,407
- Lucinda.
- But you're not.
703
00:54:58,942 --> 00:55:01,446
- I think we should call somebody. Yeah.
- Yeah.
704
00:55:02,113 --> 00:55:03,348
Are... Are you okay?
705
00:55:04,582 --> 00:55:06,551
They bought us
Philly cheesesteaks.
706
00:55:07,985 --> 00:55:09,287
And it's, it's cool,
707
00:55:09,421 --> 00:55:11,056
'cause it's not really
a Philly cheesesteak...
708
00:55:11,189 --> 00:55:13,091
'cause you in Philly,
it's really just a cheesesteak.
709
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:17,395
So, it's just for the hype?
710
00:55:17,629 --> 00:55:20,998
A New York burger, I guess.
It's like, it's like Chinese food.
711
00:55:21,166 --> 00:55:24,302
- It's a real thing? It could be a thing.
- I don't know.
712
00:55:24,436 --> 00:55:25,903
I just made that up just now.
713
00:55:26,037 --> 00:55:27,305
I mean, there's chopped cheese,
that's all.
714
00:55:27,439 --> 00:55:29,907
That's the New,
that's the New York burger.
715
00:55:30,041 --> 00:55:33,712
That was funny.
That was funny. That was funny.
716
00:55:33,844 --> 00:55:35,580
You hear chopped cheese,
and you were like,
717
00:55:35,714 --> 00:55:37,682
"Oh, yeah. That's New York."
718
00:55:37,915 --> 00:55:39,484
I just want
to be a person like you.
719
00:55:40,618 --> 00:55:43,521
Okay, but y...
you don't know me.
720
00:56:24,496 --> 00:56:26,097
I'm kind of numb to it.
721
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:31,403
Oh, that makes me sad.
722
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:38,042
Well, I'm sorry
that it makes you sad.
723
00:56:38,276 --> 00:56:40,879
See, I think you're strong,
724
00:56:41,146 --> 00:56:44,182
and I think you seem broken
at the same time,
725
00:56:44,315 --> 00:56:47,452
and I think that I'm that, too.
726
00:56:50,688 --> 00:56:51,589
Are you?
727
00:56:56,261 --> 00:56:57,395
Yeah.
728
00:57:01,533 --> 00:57:03,334
Yeah. I mean,
I think everybody is...
729
00:57:05,437 --> 00:57:07,038
or at least everyone's broken
in some ways,
730
00:57:07,172 --> 00:57:09,674
and only,
only a few of us are strong.
731
00:57:13,745 --> 00:57:15,647
Well, you're stronger than me.
732
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:18,917
Why do you say that?
I thought you said I was a harmless woman.
733
00:57:19,584 --> 00:57:23,154
Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
734
00:57:25,356 --> 00:57:30,328
I d... I say that because you were,
you were, you were strong enough
735
00:57:31,463 --> 00:57:34,866
to make me see,
or at least engage with me.
736
00:57:35,066 --> 00:57:37,535
I'm not saying that you're, like,
the fuckin' prophet or whatever,
737
00:57:37,735 --> 00:57:40,939
but it's like you were,
you were strong enough to
738
00:57:41,072 --> 00:57:45,343
take my force of whatever it was
and give me sight.
739
00:57:45,710 --> 00:57:48,313
Yeah, but you're doing
that for me too.
740
00:57:48,513 --> 00:57:50,415
You're strong enough
to do that for me.
741
00:57:50,915 --> 00:57:54,619
You're strong enough to do that just
with, just with love,
742
00:57:54,752 --> 00:57:59,557
or just by looking at me,
just by being you.
743
00:58:02,025 --> 00:58:05,330
But, like, ev... everything I do
is, is driven by some sort of desperation.
744
00:58:05,497 --> 00:58:08,566
I've got the problem of seeing
everything I've, I've ever did,
745
00:58:08,700 --> 00:58:11,803
all the bad things I've done to
people and all the ways I'm insecure.
746
00:58:11,970 --> 00:58:17,075
Like, I've gotten into so many
fights when I was...
747
00:58:17,208 --> 00:58:18,877
posturing so much,
748
00:58:19,310 --> 00:58:24,014
I end up getting my ass kicked,
and it's like I just want...
749
01:01:14,318 --> 01:01:15,553
Hey. Uh...
750
01:01:15,720 --> 01:01:17,588
They went back to the house,
but we can walk.
751
01:01:18,890 --> 01:01:20,491
Cool. Yeah.
752
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:23,828
My friends
are probably sleeping.
753
01:01:24,228 --> 01:01:26,031
Yeah, thanks
for letting me stay with you.
754
01:01:26,165 --> 01:01:28,332
Of course.
755
01:01:34,872 --> 01:01:38,743
It's
"Gowanus Canal." Like, that's...
756
01:01:38,876 --> 01:01:40,411
Oh, it's the name.
757
01:01:40,545 --> 01:01:41,813
Yeah. "Gowanus Canal."
758
01:01:43,481 --> 01:01:47,152
But in the song, I sing,
"Gowanus River,"
759
01:01:47,418 --> 01:01:54,759
which is so fucking dumb...
Because I need it to rhyme trigger...
760
01:02:07,672 --> 01:02:09,208
It was a trigger.
761
01:02:10,742 --> 01:02:12,810
Everyone knows it's... I mean,
it's sort of the same thing, isn't it?
762
01:02:12,944 --> 01:02:14,445
- Yeah, I g...
- It's effectively water.
763
01:02:14,579 --> 01:02:16,447
Yeah, but it's, like,
people know.
764
01:02:16,581 --> 01:02:18,349
I really don't think
you should worry about it.
765
01:02:19,016 --> 01:02:20,752
I'll take it.
My dog is going to ruin it.
766
01:02:20,885 --> 01:02:22,687
- Okay.
- I'll put it in the closet.
767
01:02:40,738 --> 01:02:42,740
His name's Ollie.
He's really cute.
768
01:02:42,874 --> 01:02:44,109
I think you'd like him a lot.
769
01:02:44,243 --> 01:02:45,610
- I have a dog.
- What?
770
01:02:46,544 --> 01:02:49,047
- I have a dog.
- You do? Cool.
771
01:02:49,181 --> 01:02:51,482
- Yes.
- What kind of dog is it?
772
01:02:52,650 --> 01:02:54,619
- I lost him.
- You did?
773
01:02:54,786 --> 01:02:57,288
- Yeah, I have a dog.
- When'd you lose it?
774
01:02:57,421 --> 01:02:59,624
- I have a dog.
- Are you okay?
775
01:02:59,991 --> 01:03:00,958
Yeah.
776
01:03:02,127 --> 01:03:03,761
Yeah, I just am, uh...
777
01:04:06,591 --> 01:04:08,426
There she is.
778
01:04:13,764 --> 01:04:16,868
- Hey. Hey. Hi. Thanks. Thank you so much.
- Not a problem.
779
01:04:17,102 --> 01:04:18,103
Thank you.
780
01:05:36,547 --> 01:05:38,083
Yeah. It's freezing.
781
01:05:40,851 --> 01:05:44,555
Oh, and there was this girl.
She has, like, um, short, dark hair
782
01:05:44,922 --> 01:05:46,958
and we went in this
beach house by the woods,
783
01:05:47,092 --> 01:05:49,428
and she helped me to get home.
Do you know who that might be?
784
01:05:49,660 --> 01:05:51,163
- No.
- Like black hair.
785
01:05:51,662 --> 01:05:52,964
I don't think so.
786
01:05:53,365 --> 01:05:55,666
I was trying to find
her for so long afterwards.
787
01:05:57,202 --> 01:06:01,073
Yeah. All I know is
you showed up with Simon.
788
01:06:01,739 --> 01:06:03,075
Um, he said
that you guys were friends,
789
01:06:03,507 --> 01:06:05,977
and you were an author writing
a book about teenagers, so...
790
01:06:06,111 --> 01:06:07,912
- Really?
- So you were going to research us
791
01:06:08,046 --> 01:06:09,580
- and have dinner with us.
- Did I?
792
01:06:09,714 --> 01:06:11,849
Yeah. Um...
793
01:06:12,717 --> 01:06:15,653
And then I read
your short stories as well.
794
01:06:15,786 --> 01:06:17,655
- You did?
- Yeah. Yeah.
795
01:06:18,256 --> 01:06:21,993
- Uh, Italian Studies and The Veil of Cashmere...
- That's really sweet.
796
01:06:23,261 --> 01:06:25,197
I think
maybe you should talk to Simon.
797
01:06:25,496 --> 01:06:28,066
Yeah? I don't know.
798
01:06:28,833 --> 01:06:32,636
I just, wanted to thank the girl that
helped me, and then move on, really.
799
01:06:33,205 --> 01:06:35,740
It just seemed like
you two were really close.
800
01:06:36,274 --> 01:06:37,409
What's he like?
801
01:06:38,176 --> 01:06:40,745
I don't actually
know him that well. Um...
802
01:06:42,013 --> 01:06:45,083
- Is he okay?
- No, he's fine.
803
01:06:45,217 --> 01:06:47,918
I mean, he's in college
doing his thing now.
804
01:06:50,122 --> 01:06:51,856
Um, I don't know. I still think
he'd want to meet you.
805
01:06:51,989 --> 01:06:53,125
Yeah, I just...
806
01:06:53,557 --> 01:06:55,826
Yeah, I just don't think
I should meet him.
807
01:06:56,495 --> 01:06:58,996
I mean, I know... I think you can
have, like, something special and brief
808
01:06:59,131 --> 01:07:02,167
and you don't have to chase it,
and it remains what it was,
809
01:07:02,666 --> 01:07:06,804
and it'll always be there,
the effect of it, in some way.
810
01:07:07,439 --> 01:07:10,409
I need to protect them,
the people I love,
811
01:07:10,741 --> 01:07:12,144
if that makes sense.
812
01:07:15,247 --> 01:07:17,681
Um, okay. I mean,
not really, honestly, but...
813
01:07:18,749 --> 01:07:20,152
Okay, look, for example,
814
01:07:20,519 --> 01:07:22,154
earlier I was with my husband.
I was late for my husband,
815
01:07:22,287 --> 01:07:24,655
and I know that in the,
816
01:07:25,424 --> 01:07:27,292
in him waiting for me,
817
01:07:27,758 --> 01:07:29,428
the thought would've
crossed his mind
818
01:07:29,560 --> 01:07:31,996
that maybe it's happened again,
or it's happening,
819
01:07:32,130 --> 01:07:36,435
and I hate that.
I hate to be a burden like that,
820
01:07:37,001 --> 01:07:38,836
and, and we've come
so far through it,
821
01:07:39,438 --> 01:07:42,307
and I just don't want
to reopen it, you know?
822
01:07:42,573 --> 01:07:46,211
It's good now, and I just,
I kind of want to keep it that way.
823
01:11:11,312 --> 01:11:16,312
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