1 00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:03,462 We're on in five seconds. 2 00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:06,381 Four, three, two… 3 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:10,886 Good morning. It's Friday. 4 00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:13,180 Glad you could join us. I'm your host, Jeff Stelling, 5 00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:15,599 here with Chris Kamara and George Cartrick. 6 00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,685 As we head into the last weekend of the season, 7 00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:22,272 we have an update on those rumors of change at West Ham United. 8 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,775 But first, we turn our attention to the championship 9 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:28,529 and AFC Richmond, the club of our former foulmouthed colleague… 10 00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:30,364 Roy Kent. 11 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,866 The headline this morning is the news that 12 00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:36,328 Ted Lasso left in the middle of the Tottenham match this season 13 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:39,456 not due to stomach problems, but because of a panic attack. 14 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:42,876 Lasso appears to be leaving? 15 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:43,961 George? 16 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,338 Lasso's clearly not fit to coach. 17 00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:47,923 Come on now, George. 18 00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,175 -Be compassionate. -Come on. Come on, Jeff. Come on. 19 00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:53,637 Would Bill Shankly have a panic attack, eh? Would Brian Clough? 20 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,890 -Would Alex Ferguson have a panic attack? -Be fair. 21 00:00:56,974 --> 00:01:00,477 No, of course he wouldn't. Look, if your ship's being attacked, right? 22 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,104 And you run to the bridge, 23 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,772 you want to find a captain whose brain works, 24 00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:06,525 not some big girl's blouse. 25 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,153 I miss Roy. 26 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:37,598 Hi, Ted. Remember, the truth will set you free, 27 00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,517 but first it'll piss you off. 28 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,188 I'm here if you want to talk. Good luck this weekend. 29 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,274 Hey, fellas. 30 00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:14,069 -Yeah. -Good one. 31 00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,073 Morning, Susan. 32 00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:19,741 Are you all right, Ted? 33 00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,034 Yes, ma'am. 34 00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:22,619 Are you sure about that? 35 00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:45,726 Hey, Coach. 36 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,984 Thank you. 37 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,032 Hey, wanker. 38 00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:02,492 If my father had a panic attack at Normandy, 39 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:03,994 we'd all be speaking German. 40 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:07,831 Yes, sir. 41 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,336 Just do the work, pal. You'll be all right. 42 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:24,097 I assume you know what that was all about, yeah? 43 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:25,641 Nope. 44 00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:54,878 Those are lovely. Who are they from? 45 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,713 Edwin Akufo. 46 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,007 "Sorry for your loss." 47 00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:00,884 That was thoughtful of him. 48 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,719 He must've heard about your father's passing. 49 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:07,558 I've not finished. "But we will give Sam a very good home in Casablanca." 50 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:09,935 Still, nice gesture. 51 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:16,441 So, Leslie, any rumblings about which way Sam's leaning? 52 00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,528 Not a peep, and I'm trying to play it chill. 53 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:23,490 So whenever I see him in a hallway, I just give him a cool nod. 54 00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:24,950 You know, like this. 55 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,870 Oh, shit. That was cool. 56 00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:30,038 I know, right? I saw it in a Denzel Washington movie, 57 00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:32,291 and I thought, "I'm taking that." 58 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,210 Still, it's not looking great. 59 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:39,464 Hey. What's the story, Paul Shorey? 60 00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:40,841 Ted. 61 00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,426 So sorry about the article, Ted. 62 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,011 Oh, that's okay, Keeley. 63 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,889 You know what they say. No such thing as bad publicity, right? 64 00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,516 Although, I think they might've been wrong about that one, 65 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,352 which is a bummer 'cause they were spot on with the beer before liquor thing. 66 00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:54,521 -Here you go, boss. -Thank you, Ted. 67 00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:56,523 And you know that you have our full support. 68 00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:57,691 I appreciate that. 69 00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,276 I still wish I could've done something 70 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,612 before that dick Trent Crimm posted the article. 71 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:04,114 Oh, no, come on. Trent's a good guy. He's just doing the gig. 72 00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:06,909 Well, don't worry. I'm gonna speak directly to the owner of the paper 73 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:09,036 and see who this anonymous source was. 74 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:12,623 Nah, come on, no need. Fact is, everything they said was true. 75 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,584 And unlike Lieutenant Kaffee, I actually can handle the truth. 76 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:20,255 Well then, my advice is no press until after the match. 77 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,174 I agree. 78 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:25,385 Concentrate on the task in hand, beating Brentford. 79 00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:28,222 Yes, because if we lose, it will kill me. 80 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,224 Please don't lose, Ted. I beg you. 81 00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:32,559 Hey, don't you worry, Hig Newton. I'm on it like a bonnet. 82 00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:35,020 Oh, God. These taste like shit. 83 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:38,690 Oh, yeah. Well, it was a rough night, and I am now absolutely positive that 84 00:06:38,774 --> 00:06:40,567 I switched the salt and sugar. I'm sorry about that. 85 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,278 No, no, no. 86 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:45,864 No, it's interesting. 87 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,994 She's a sneaky, salty bitch. 88 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,705 Like Heather Locklear on Melrose Place, right? 89 00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:55,499 -Oh, yeah. -Yeah. 90 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,416 Right? 91 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,502 -That's exactly how you'd describe her. -Yeah. 92 00:06:58,585 --> 00:06:59,586 Oh, Heather. 93 00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:00,671 Hello. 94 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,798 -I will not be safe out there. -Hey. 95 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,209 All right? 96 00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:41,879 Is Roy here? 97 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,797 I don't hear any grunting. 98 00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:53,682 -Hey, morning. -Morning, Nate. 99 00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:55,767 Is Roy here? 100 00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:57,019 No. 101 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,229 You seen this? 102 00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,401 Yes. It's awful. 103 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:07,821 -Yeah. -Yeah. It was awful. 104 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:11,742 Yeah. 105 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:14,620 Roy-- 106 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:15,913 Jamie's looking for you. 107 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:16,997 Oh, is he? 108 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,208 Oi! 109 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:21,752 Tartt! 110 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:22,836 Me? 111 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,467 Through there? Yeah. 112 00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:40,687 Wait. Can I just say something first? 113 00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:42,731 Yeah, okay. That's a good idea 114 00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:44,691 'cause when I'm done, you won't have any teeth left, 115 00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:46,360 and you'll need them for the talking bit. 116 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:51,281 Right. Yeah, okay. 117 00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:56,662 So, at Rebecca's dad's funeral, I told Keeley that I still loved her. 118 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,413 It was wrong, and I shouldn't have done it, 119 00:08:58,497 --> 00:09:02,084 but I ain't used to being around dead people. 120 00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:07,798 It just-- It did something to me, emotionally, you know? 121 00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:10,926 But I still-- I shouldn't have done it, and it was wrong, 122 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,595 but I just need you to know that I respect you, 123 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:16,223 and I respect Keeley, and I respect your relationship, 124 00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:19,393 and I will never ever do anything like that ever again. 125 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,608 Fuck! 126 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,829 Sorry. I kind of froze when you two came in here, 127 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,873 and I just didn't know what to do. 128 00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:44,126 All right. 129 00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:48,797 Yeah, no, it definitely sounds both helpful and compassionate. 130 00:09:48,881 --> 00:09:50,215 But I don't think that 131 00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:53,719 you moderating a session between Coach Lasso and a celebrity psychiatrist 132 00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:55,220 is the best move right now. 133 00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:57,890 All his attention is on Brentford. 134 00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:59,099 Thank you very much. 135 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,186 Fuck you, Piers Morgan. 136 00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:07,107 Holy fucking shit! 137 00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:08,567 Oh, my… 138 00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:13,739 Circle up! 139 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,366 Thank you, Coach. 140 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:17,618 Hey, fellas. 141 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:20,495 Before we get started here, I wanted to talk to y'all about 142 00:10:20,579 --> 00:10:22,414 the article you saw in the paper this morning. 143 00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,666 Actually, y'all probably saw it on your phones. 144 00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:26,251 I still get the paper, 'cause, well, 145 00:10:26,335 --> 00:10:27,961 you can't cut cartoons out of a phone, right? 146 00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:29,755 Yeah, but you can screenshot them and text them. 147 00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:31,423 That's copyright infringement, bruv. 148 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,008 I hear you, Zoreaux, 149 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:35,344 but you can't hang a screenshot on a fridge either. 150 00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:37,346 My refrigerator has a television. 151 00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:39,640 I think I have the same one. 152 00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:41,642 -I bought it-- -The point is, 153 00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:43,769 y'all found out about something from somewhere, 154 00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:45,771 when you should've found out about it from me first. 155 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:50,025 But I chose not to tell y'all, and that was dumb. 156 00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:54,488 You know, fellas, we make a lot of choices in our lives every single day, 157 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:58,242 ranging from, "Am I really about to eat something called Greek yogurt?" 158 00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:02,538 To, "Should I leave my family and take a job halfway around the world?" 159 00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:08,126 Me choosing not to be forthright with y'all, that was a bad choice. 160 00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:11,547 But I can't be wasting time wishing for a do-over on all that. 161 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:16,093 'Cause that ain't how choices work. No, sir. No. 162 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:19,555 That choice, and my Chicago Bulls Starter jacket 163 00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,807 that I let Janelle Rhodes borrow my sophomore year 'cause 164 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:24,685 she spilled ketchup all over herself, and it looked like she'd been shot, 165 00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:26,395 those are two things I ain't getting back. 166 00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:29,898 'Cause every choice is a chance, fellas. 167 00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:34,152 And I didn't give myself the chance to build further trust with y'all. 168 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:38,657 To quote the great UCLA college basketball coach, John Obi-Wan Gandalf, 169 00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:43,161 "It is our choices, gentlemen, that show what we truly are, 170 00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:44,454 far more than our abilities." 171 00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:48,083 Now, I hope y'all can forgive me for what I've done. 172 00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,169 'Cause I sure as heck wouldn't want 173 00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:51,879 any of y'all to hold anything back with me. 174 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:54,006 -Nah, we got you, Coach. We got you. -We got you, Coach. 175 00:11:55,299 --> 00:11:56,300 Yeah, no problem, gaffer. 176 00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:58,385 And when we sniff out the rat, 177 00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:01,096 permission to take socks full of soap to their stomach and chest? 178 00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:02,806 We're gonna find 'em and fuck 'em up! 179 00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,600 -Yeah! -We'll kill him! 180 00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:07,019 Follow the money! 181 00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:10,063 No, fellas, look. I'm gonna nip that talk in the butt right now. 182 00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:11,523 It's "bud" not "butt," Coach. 183 00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:14,067 It is? 'Cause of flowers, right? 184 00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:15,152 Horticulture, baby! 185 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,237 That makes more sense. I appreciate that. Thank you. 186 00:12:17,321 --> 00:12:20,574 No, look, gentlemen. I want us to focus on something a little bit more productive, 187 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,326 like working on Nate the Great's false nine. 188 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,536 -How's that sound? Okay, good. -Yes. Yeah. 189 00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:26,747 Okay, anybody got any questions before we get started? 190 00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:29,333 -Yeah, I got one. -Yeah, Jamie, what do you got? 191 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,710 What are we gonna do with that fucking thing there? 192 00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:37,716 Yeah, that's a good point. Okay. 193 00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:39,885 Well, tell you what, let's all head to the north field, 194 00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:42,846 and if you guys hustle, that'll count as our cardio for today, yeah? 195 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:45,641 Scram! Whistle! Whistle! 196 00:12:50,479 --> 00:12:51,480 Come in. 197 00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:56,902 What's this? 198 00:12:56,985 --> 00:13:00,572 This is Mascot Idol: Semifinals. 199 00:13:00,656 --> 00:13:04,034 One of these two contestants will be our new mascot. 200 00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:09,748 Will it be Macy Greyhound or Tina Feyhound? 201 00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:12,626 Are they all from Barkingham Palace? 202 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:13,627 Yep. 203 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,504 Miss Campbell here runs the shelter. 204 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:19,258 London's premier all-female dog breeder. Suzi Campbell. Nice to meet you. 205 00:13:19,341 --> 00:13:20,300 Nice to meet you. 206 00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:21,677 Huge fan. 207 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,178 Oh, thanks. 208 00:13:23,262 --> 00:13:25,764 Huge fan. 209 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,684 Thank you. 210 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:32,646 Is now a bad time? 211 00:13:33,397 --> 00:13:35,607 No. Could you give us a minute, please? 212 00:13:35,691 --> 00:13:36,900 Sure. 213 00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:39,987 Wow. 214 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,407 Nice to meet you. 215 00:13:45,951 --> 00:13:46,952 Something wrong? 216 00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:52,124 Actually, something is incredibly right. 217 00:13:53,417 --> 00:13:55,544 The money people that back Bantr, 218 00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:58,797 they wanna finance me opening my own PR firm. 219 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:01,425 Oh, my God! 220 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,593 I know, right? 221 00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:05,095 I need some advice. 222 00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:09,558 I'm flattered that you came to me instead of Ted or Roy. 223 00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:10,767 They're at training. 224 00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:12,311 Well, instead of Rebecca then. 225 00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:14,229 She's the one I'm afraid of telling. 226 00:14:14,313 --> 00:14:15,814 I'm happy to be on the list. 227 00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:17,024 I'm scared. 228 00:14:17,608 --> 00:14:20,402 Well, look. That is perfectly natural. 229 00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:25,824 It can be terrifying becoming a boss. 230 00:14:26,325 --> 00:14:29,661 No. I'm scared of telling Rebecca I'm leaving. 231 00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:32,497 Oh, right. Because she's so intimidating. 232 00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:35,334 No. She's one of my best friends. 233 00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:39,379 Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. And you leaving would be 234 00:14:39,463 --> 00:14:43,425 a betrayal on a level usually reserved for Greek mythology. 235 00:14:43,509 --> 00:14:44,801 No. 236 00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:49,848 I just-- I don't want to appear like I'm not grateful 237 00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:52,351 for the amazing opportunity she's given me here. 238 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,981 Keeley, a good mentor hopes you will move on. 239 00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:01,527 A great mentor knows you will. 240 00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:02,903 I like that. 241 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:04,196 Yeah? Just made it up. 242 00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,280 Wow. 243 00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:09,785 I told Edwin Akufo I would give him my answer after the match on Sunday. 244 00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:11,703 Does this mean you've made a decision? 245 00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:14,248 I think so. 246 00:15:15,374 --> 00:15:16,375 Yes? 247 00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:18,544 I don't know. 248 00:15:19,211 --> 00:15:20,546 I'd be crazy not to go, right? 249 00:15:20,629 --> 00:15:23,423 Samuel, you're overthinking this. Relax. 250 00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:26,468 Stop looking for the answer and let the answer come to you. 251 00:15:26,552 --> 00:15:29,805 If you open yourself to it, the universe will give you a sign. 252 00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:31,723 Daddy, with all due respect, 253 00:15:31,807 --> 00:15:34,434 isn't this decision too important to be left to the universe? 254 00:15:34,518 --> 00:15:37,646 The universe has always put me on the right path. 255 00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:41,984 The universe told me to marry your mother and to buy Bitcoin in 2009. 256 00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:43,777 2009! 257 00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:49,658 Okay, Dad. I'll keep an eye out for any messages from the universe. 258 00:15:51,243 --> 00:15:53,287 -I love you. -I love you. 259 00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:28,030 This morning, Jamie apologized to me for what he said to you at the funeral. 260 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,240 I didn't say anything. 261 00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:33,327 I know. He said he did it on his own. 262 00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:34,828 What did you do? 263 00:16:34,912 --> 00:16:36,288 What do you think I did? 264 00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,123 Punched him. 265 00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:40,250 -Headbutted him. -Keep going. 266 00:16:40,334 --> 00:16:42,085 Did you murder him? 267 00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:45,088 No. Worse. I fucking forgave him. 268 00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:47,382 It's disgusting, innit? 269 00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:50,802 No. I'm really proud of you. 270 00:16:51,345 --> 00:16:52,554 I fully support that. 271 00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:56,183 Wait. I've got some news too. 272 00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:59,144 For fuck's sake. Don't tell me Ted tried to get off with you and all. 273 00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:02,940 The VC that back Bantr, 274 00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:08,569 they want to finance me opening my own PR firm. 275 00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:12,031 Holy fucking shit. That is huge. 276 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,578 You are a fucking CEO and shit. That's amazing. 277 00:17:16,662 --> 00:17:18,372 I know. 278 00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,958 I love you so much. 279 00:17:27,256 --> 00:17:29,883 Look at you. The boss. 280 00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:33,554 Not gonna have time for me anymore. 281 00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:35,222 Shut your pretty mouth. 282 00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,478 Just need a second. It's Jane. 283 00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:43,897 How's all that going? 284 00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,732 We broke up. 285 00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:48,360 We're back on. 286 00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:51,530 Here you go, boys. 287 00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:52,614 Thanks, Mae. 288 00:17:52,698 --> 00:17:53,699 Thanks, Mae. 289 00:17:58,829 --> 00:18:00,998 Don't worry about it, Ted. 290 00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:06,253 It'll all wash out in a cycle. It always does. 291 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:08,172 Thank you, Mae. 292 00:18:13,177 --> 00:18:14,803 I was finished anyway. 293 00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:18,849 We're opening the champagne. 294 00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,894 What? No, I thought we were saving that for something really, really special. 295 00:18:21,977 --> 00:18:25,731 Well, we didn't open it when your mum moved back up north. 296 00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:29,860 We didn't open it when England got zero points in the Eurovision. 297 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,946 And we didn't open it when the neighbor ran over their own snake. 298 00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,282 That was nasty. 299 00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:39,161 So we are drinking it tonight. Duck. 300 00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:44,041 Yay. 301 00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:51,089 Shit! 302 00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:54,468 Lizzy just sent over a preview of the Vanity Fair article. 303 00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:58,722 Oh, shit. They better not have used any pictures of me smiling. 304 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,432 Like that exists. 305 00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:04,019 Wow. 306 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:09,650 Oh, no. 307 00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:12,361 They didn't use any of the pictures with you in them. 308 00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:17,658 Shit, I'm so sorry, Roy. That is not cool. 309 00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:19,993 -I'm gonna reach out and change that. -Don't you dare. 310 00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:22,663 Don't you change a fucking thing. 311 00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:26,250 You look powerful. You're fucking gorgeous. 312 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:27,417 You look like a BILF. 313 00:19:28,252 --> 00:19:30,796 Oh, yeah? Go on, show me, then. 314 00:19:40,973 --> 00:19:42,140 So… 315 00:19:43,517 --> 00:19:44,601 Are you gonna say anything? 316 00:19:45,811 --> 00:19:47,104 Well, I mean, eventually, yeah. 317 00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:49,690 You may have noticed through the years I can be quite loquacious. 318 00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:51,066 No. To Nate. 319 00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:53,652 The anonymous source. 320 00:19:55,487 --> 00:19:56,947 Wow. What makes you think it was Nate? 321 00:19:59,408 --> 00:20:00,534 Yeah. 322 00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:01,618 Well, you know my philosophy 323 00:20:01,702 --> 00:20:03,912 when it comes to cats, babies and apologies, Coach. 324 00:20:04,663 --> 00:20:06,206 You gotta let 'em come to you. 325 00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:07,833 That's not gonna happen. 326 00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,210 Some people need a little push. 327 00:20:10,294 --> 00:20:12,296 Yeah. Well, I ain't pushing nobody. 328 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:13,797 I think it'll help. 329 00:20:13,881 --> 00:20:15,257 Nate will be fine. 330 00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:16,884 No. It'll help you. 331 00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:20,179 Coach, you keep trying to hold all this in, 332 00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:22,389 I'm afraid your mustache is gonna pop off. 333 00:20:26,602 --> 00:20:28,395 Then I'll look like that fella from The Hangover. 334 00:20:28,478 --> 00:20:30,022 Bradley Cooper. 335 00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:32,816 You're too good to me. 336 00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:38,739 And I like your mustache. 337 00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:43,827 Hi, babe. 338 00:20:43,911 --> 00:20:45,370 Hi. 339 00:20:45,454 --> 00:20:46,622 Have you got a second? 340 00:20:46,705 --> 00:20:48,081 Of course. 341 00:20:48,165 --> 00:20:49,499 I'm so sorry. 342 00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:50,959 No, don't be. 343 00:20:52,753 --> 00:20:54,004 It's good. 344 00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:57,841 You helped this panda become a lion. 345 00:20:58,675 --> 00:21:00,302 I'm so proud of you. 346 00:21:02,471 --> 00:21:04,223 Thank you. 347 00:21:08,769 --> 00:21:10,395 Holy fucking shit. 348 00:21:10,479 --> 00:21:11,605 Oh, no. Now what? 349 00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:14,942 Rupert's just bought West Ham United. 350 00:21:15,025 --> 00:21:16,193 No. 351 00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:20,906 And to think for a second, I thought him giving me his shares in the club 352 00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:22,199 was a kind gesture. 353 00:21:25,244 --> 00:21:26,954 You know, I'm actually quite reassured to find out 354 00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:30,624 that he is still just a selfish conniving cock. 355 00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:35,087 Yeah. It does return a certain balance to the universe, doesn't it? 356 00:21:36,964 --> 00:21:39,883 Promise me you will not go and work for him. 357 00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:42,803 He can't afford me. 358 00:21:44,221 --> 00:21:46,723 Richmond is my football club. You know that. 359 00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:51,144 Well, that's if we get promoted. 360 00:21:51,228 --> 00:21:52,813 You might not want to work with us. 361 00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:55,148 That's fair. 362 00:21:57,776 --> 00:22:00,821 A bit of advice for being a boss. 363 00:22:02,656 --> 00:22:04,658 Hire your best friend. 364 00:22:07,953 --> 00:22:09,413 Fuck you. 365 00:22:12,457 --> 00:22:14,042 Now I'm crying again. 366 00:22:20,465 --> 00:22:21,925 Anyone want a ticket? 367 00:22:22,718 --> 00:22:24,720 -All right, Mae? -Oi, oi, Mae! 368 00:22:33,687 --> 00:22:35,856 -Come on, Richmond! -Come on, Richmond! 369 00:22:35,939 --> 00:22:37,191 Come on, Richmond! 370 00:22:38,567 --> 00:22:40,360 You get out there and you beat 'em. 371 00:22:40,444 --> 00:22:41,695 We'll smash it, right? 372 00:22:41,778 --> 00:22:43,822 You get them. Fuck 'em. 373 00:22:43,906 --> 00:22:45,157 Go, Coach. 374 00:22:52,956 --> 00:22:53,999 Good afternoon. 375 00:22:54,082 --> 00:22:56,835 -Good afternoon. -Afternoon. 376 00:23:17,397 --> 00:23:21,193 All right. Y'all good to go on running Nate's false nine today, yeah? 377 00:23:21,276 --> 00:23:23,028 Well, you'd be fools not to. 378 00:23:25,072 --> 00:23:26,532 All right. 379 00:23:26,615 --> 00:23:27,950 Yeah, we ought to give it a shot. 380 00:23:28,033 --> 00:23:29,368 Why change it now? 381 00:23:29,451 --> 00:23:30,702 I agree. 382 00:23:32,663 --> 00:23:34,248 Did you get kicked out of your office again? 383 00:23:34,331 --> 00:23:37,251 No, no. Temporary relocation while they change the carpet in there. 384 00:23:37,334 --> 00:23:39,711 It was absolutely covered in dog shit. 385 00:23:39,795 --> 00:23:41,880 Oh, yeah. No, been there, done that. 386 00:23:41,964 --> 00:23:44,883 Okay. Well, anybody else got anything they wanna talk about 387 00:23:44,967 --> 00:23:45,968 before we head out there? 388 00:23:46,051 --> 00:23:47,052 Yeah. 389 00:23:48,011 --> 00:23:49,137 I could… 390 00:23:50,889 --> 00:23:53,267 use some… 391 00:23:55,060 --> 00:23:56,687 advice. 392 00:23:59,189 --> 00:24:00,649 Hold on. 393 00:24:00,732 --> 00:24:03,861 Roy, are you saying you wanna become a Diamond Dog? 394 00:24:03,944 --> 00:24:06,655 Fuck no. I'm just saying I wouldn't mind 395 00:24:07,281 --> 00:24:08,532 being in the room 396 00:24:08,615 --> 00:24:13,036 whilst it fucking happens. 397 00:24:13,787 --> 00:24:16,665 Yeah. Okay. Well, how about a one-time visitor's pass 398 00:24:16,748 --> 00:24:18,166 for our junkyard dog here, yeah? 399 00:24:21,712 --> 00:24:23,172 Diamond Dogs, mount up! 400 00:24:25,465 --> 00:24:26,592 Yeah. I gotcha. 401 00:24:26,675 --> 00:24:28,760 -Yeah. I'm just gonna stay put. -Okay. Good idea. Yeah. 402 00:24:28,844 --> 00:24:31,555 You live, you learn, right? Thank you, Alanis. 403 00:24:31,638 --> 00:24:33,390 All right. Roy. 404 00:24:34,808 --> 00:24:35,809 Bark away. 405 00:24:35,893 --> 00:24:38,896 Remember I told you I had to do that photo shoot thing with Keeley? 406 00:24:38,979 --> 00:24:40,814 -Yeah, we got it. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. 407 00:24:40,898 --> 00:24:42,983 I know I said I fucking hate doing those things, 408 00:24:43,066 --> 00:24:44,693 and I do fucking hate doing those things. 409 00:24:44,776 --> 00:24:47,487 But in the end, 410 00:24:48,906 --> 00:24:51,200 they didn't use a single picture with me in it. 411 00:24:51,992 --> 00:24:55,495 And it hurt my… 412 00:24:56,538 --> 00:24:57,539 feeling. 413 00:24:59,917 --> 00:25:01,001 -Oh, yeah. -Yeah. 414 00:25:01,084 --> 00:25:03,795 In year five, I was not allowed in the class photo 415 00:25:03,879 --> 00:25:06,632 because I developed a rare smile allergy. 416 00:25:09,801 --> 00:25:11,178 Not the same situation. 417 00:25:11,261 --> 00:25:12,846 The thing is… 418 00:25:14,890 --> 00:25:16,850 she looked so fucking great. 419 00:25:18,018 --> 00:25:19,311 On her own. 420 00:25:19,770 --> 00:25:21,104 Without me. 421 00:25:23,398 --> 00:25:26,652 So natural. 422 00:25:29,238 --> 00:25:30,405 I-- 423 00:25:30,948 --> 00:25:33,700 It would've actually been fucking weird if I was in the pictures. 424 00:25:36,745 --> 00:25:39,414 And then at Rebecca's dad's funeral, 425 00:25:39,498 --> 00:25:42,709 Jamie fucking Tartt tells her he's fucking in love with her. 426 00:25:44,253 --> 00:25:45,629 And he's still alive? 427 00:25:45,712 --> 00:25:48,257 Yeah. Instead of beating him to death, I fucking forgave him. 428 00:25:48,340 --> 00:25:50,175 I'm still fucking furious about it. 429 00:25:50,259 --> 00:25:54,721 Okay. Well, Roy, we appreciate you barking at us. 430 00:25:58,058 --> 00:26:00,519 There's something I have to confess as well. 431 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,067 Go ahead, Nate-dawg. 432 00:26:07,150 --> 00:26:08,610 Roy, 433 00:26:08,694 --> 00:26:14,241 when Keeley and I went shopping the other day, I kissed her. 434 00:26:17,995 --> 00:26:20,622 Yeah. She told me about it. 435 00:26:20,706 --> 00:26:21,915 It's okay. 436 00:26:21,999 --> 00:26:23,876 I kissed her. I kissed your girlfriend. 437 00:26:24,501 --> 00:26:25,502 We're good. 438 00:26:25,586 --> 00:26:27,629 All Jamie did was talk to her, and you wanted to kill him. 439 00:26:27,713 --> 00:26:29,506 Don't you at least wanna headbutt me or something? 440 00:26:29,590 --> 00:26:32,676 You made a mistake, Nate. Don't worry about it. 441 00:26:32,759 --> 00:26:35,053 No, no, I deserve to be headbutted. 442 00:26:35,137 --> 00:26:37,097 I'd be happy to headbutt you, Nate. 443 00:26:37,181 --> 00:26:39,474 Okay, you know what? I think that's enough right now. 444 00:26:39,558 --> 00:26:41,393 We got work to do, yeah? Diamond Dogs dismount? 445 00:26:46,773 --> 00:26:49,276 Wait. So sometimes the fucking Diamond Dogs 446 00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:50,944 is just chatting about shit, 447 00:26:51,028 --> 00:26:53,530 and no one has to fucking solve anything and nothing fucking changes? 448 00:26:54,364 --> 00:26:55,407 Sometimes. Yeah. 449 00:26:56,033 --> 00:26:57,034 That's cool. 450 00:26:58,410 --> 00:26:59,703 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Oh, my God. 451 00:26:59,786 --> 00:27:01,788 Yes, yes, yes! 452 00:27:01,872 --> 00:27:04,499 It's the 83rd clash between these two teams 453 00:27:04,583 --> 00:27:06,210 and there's never been more at stake. 454 00:27:06,293 --> 00:27:07,711 Brentford with the lead but Richmond 455 00:27:07,794 --> 00:27:11,006 are still in their unusual false nine formation. 456 00:27:11,089 --> 00:27:14,801 I don't like it, Arlo. The last match of the season for promotion. 457 00:27:14,885 --> 00:27:17,346 It's a funny time to be pulling out a new strategy. 458 00:27:21,308 --> 00:27:24,228 Richmond trying to even it up before the half, 459 00:27:24,311 --> 00:27:27,773 but they give away possession, and Brentford have numbers. 460 00:27:32,611 --> 00:27:33,820 Yeah! 461 00:27:33,904 --> 00:27:36,323 -Fuck! -And that's 2-nil to Brentford. 462 00:27:36,406 --> 00:27:39,368 You try new tactics this late with this much at stake 463 00:27:39,451 --> 00:27:40,786 and everyone loses their heads. 464 00:27:40,869 --> 00:27:44,248 Stay back! How many times do I have to fucking tell ya? Stay back. 465 00:27:44,331 --> 00:27:45,582 It's all right. 466 00:27:45,666 --> 00:27:47,125 Hey. We're all right! 467 00:27:47,209 --> 00:27:49,044 It's okay! Come on now! 468 00:27:49,962 --> 00:27:51,129 And it's halftime 469 00:27:51,213 --> 00:27:54,883 of what has been a pulsating West London derby. 470 00:27:54,967 --> 00:27:57,219 Brentford lead 2-nil, 471 00:27:57,302 --> 00:27:59,513 and Richmond are letting a golden opportunity 472 00:27:59,596 --> 00:28:01,515 slip through their fingers. 473 00:28:07,855 --> 00:28:11,024 I'ma shoot y'all straight. This is bleak, yeah? 474 00:28:11,567 --> 00:28:12,776 I mean, look at it out there. 475 00:28:12,860 --> 00:28:15,779 Looks like a Renaissance painting portraying masculine melancholy. 476 00:28:22,661 --> 00:28:25,372 Okay, so now what? What we gonna do? 477 00:28:25,455 --> 00:28:27,332 We should abandon the false nine. 478 00:28:27,416 --> 00:28:29,835 It'd work if we had players who knew what the fuck they were doing. 479 00:28:31,253 --> 00:28:34,131 Yeah, I don't agree, Nate. You know, I think we gotta stick with it, man. 480 00:28:34,214 --> 00:28:37,467 You know, they just had 45 minutes to figure out what not to do. Yeah? 481 00:28:37,551 --> 00:28:38,552 What do you think, Roy? 482 00:28:38,635 --> 00:28:40,137 You should ask them. 483 00:28:40,220 --> 00:28:42,306 They're the ones out there actually doing this shit. 484 00:28:49,271 --> 00:28:50,272 Yeah, all right. 485 00:28:53,942 --> 00:28:55,444 All right, fellas. 486 00:28:55,527 --> 00:28:58,488 Coaches and I are having a little debate and wanna get y'all's take on it. 487 00:28:59,198 --> 00:29:01,533 Should we stick with the false nine or switch it up? 488 00:29:14,546 --> 00:29:18,675 The tactic is sound, and we're all perfectly capable of executing it. 489 00:29:21,845 --> 00:29:23,222 It will work. 490 00:29:28,519 --> 00:29:31,188 Hey, if Jan Maas says it, you know it's the truth, right? 491 00:29:31,271 --> 00:29:32,523 I wouldn't lie to you. 492 00:29:33,857 --> 00:29:37,027 For instance, Zoreaux, you should have saved that first goal. 493 00:29:37,110 --> 00:29:38,362 Bro. 494 00:29:42,241 --> 00:29:44,743 Okay. It's been decided. We're gonna stick with Nate's false nine. 495 00:29:44,826 --> 00:29:47,246 -Now, come on. Bring it in. Let's go. -Here we go, Greyhounds! 496 00:29:54,211 --> 00:29:55,295 Hey, Captain? 497 00:29:57,172 --> 00:29:58,465 You gonna join us? 498 00:30:35,836 --> 00:30:38,589 Richmond on three. One, two, three… 499 00:30:38,672 --> 00:30:40,591 Richmond! 500 00:30:46,471 --> 00:30:48,015 Here we go, Richmond! 501 00:31:03,197 --> 00:31:04,198 Hey, Nate. 502 00:31:05,365 --> 00:31:06,366 Hey. 503 00:31:07,576 --> 00:31:08,994 Everything okay? 504 00:31:10,704 --> 00:31:13,540 Yes, Ted. Everything is okay. 505 00:31:18,003 --> 00:31:20,214 What is it? What'd I do? 506 00:31:21,173 --> 00:31:22,257 What are you talking about? 507 00:31:22,341 --> 00:31:24,968 Oh, come on, man. You're mad as hell at me. I just wanna know why. 508 00:31:25,802 --> 00:31:27,513 Huh? What have I got to learn here? 509 00:31:29,556 --> 00:31:31,850 -You wanna know what you did? -Yeah, please. 510 00:31:32,768 --> 00:31:35,604 Okay. I'll tell you what you did. 511 00:31:39,650 --> 00:31:43,529 You made me feel like I was the most important person in the whole world. 512 00:31:44,821 --> 00:31:47,783 And then, you abandoned me. 513 00:31:49,868 --> 00:31:51,954 Like you switched out a light, just like that. 514 00:31:53,121 --> 00:31:57,709 And I worked my ass off, trying to get your attention back. 515 00:31:57,793 --> 00:31:59,336 To prove myself to you. 516 00:32:01,046 --> 00:32:02,673 To make you like me again. 517 00:32:03,966 --> 00:32:06,051 But the more I did, the less you cared. 518 00:32:06,134 --> 00:32:07,636 It was like I was fucking invisible. 519 00:32:09,471 --> 00:32:12,266 You haven't even got the photo I gave you for Christmas up in your office. 520 00:32:12,349 --> 00:32:14,017 Just a picture of dumb Americans. 521 00:32:14,977 --> 00:32:17,354 Now you're gonna play Nate's false nine, so when the team fuck up, 522 00:32:17,437 --> 00:32:19,606 which they will, hey, you can blame it on me. 523 00:32:19,690 --> 00:32:21,108 Well, no. Fuck that. 524 00:32:24,361 --> 00:32:26,196 Everybody loves you. 525 00:32:27,322 --> 00:32:30,534 The Great Ted Lasso. Well, I think you're a fucking joke. 526 00:32:31,451 --> 00:32:33,078 Without me, you wouldn't have won a single match. 527 00:32:33,161 --> 00:32:35,372 They would've shipped your ass back to Kansas, where you belong. 528 00:32:35,455 --> 00:32:36,540 With your son. 529 00:32:38,750 --> 00:32:41,170 'Cause you sure as hell don't belong here. 530 00:32:42,963 --> 00:32:46,175 But I do. I belong here. 531 00:32:46,258 --> 00:32:49,386 This didn't just fall into my lap, all right? I earned this. 532 00:32:49,469 --> 00:32:50,637 I know you did, Nate. 533 00:32:51,471 --> 00:32:54,308 And if I didn't tell you how important you were to me enough, I'm sorry about that. 534 00:32:54,391 --> 00:32:56,393 No, no. You know what? You're full of shit. 535 00:32:56,476 --> 00:32:57,561 Just fuck you, Ted. 536 00:33:04,902 --> 00:33:09,031 Richmond down two, sticking with their false nine formation 537 00:33:09,114 --> 00:33:10,741 as Brentford are on the attack. 538 00:33:10,824 --> 00:33:15,537 Chris, is time running out on Richmond's chances to control their future? 539 00:33:15,621 --> 00:33:17,956 Only if you think of time as linear, Arlo. 540 00:33:18,624 --> 00:33:19,875 Yes, Chris. I do. 541 00:33:22,503 --> 00:33:24,254 Good pressure from Rojas. 542 00:33:25,756 --> 00:33:27,257 That's lovely from Tartt. 543 00:33:27,341 --> 00:33:29,134 Obisanya is in. 544 00:33:29,218 --> 00:33:30,219 He scores! 545 00:33:33,305 --> 00:33:35,766 And thanks to that Obisanya goal, 546 00:33:35,849 --> 00:33:38,894 Richmond's hopes for promotion are still alive. 547 00:33:38,977 --> 00:33:42,272 Let's go! Let's go! Come on! One more! 548 00:33:43,941 --> 00:33:45,359 Oh, my God! 549 00:33:45,442 --> 00:33:47,528 That's how you play a false nine, Arlo. 550 00:33:47,611 --> 00:33:50,614 Pack the midfield, stay organized. Look for the gaps. Well done. 551 00:33:50,697 --> 00:33:53,200 -Hey, here we go! -Yes! Yes, yes, yes! 552 00:33:53,283 --> 00:33:54,993 Yes! 553 00:33:55,077 --> 00:33:56,870 All the other results are in. 554 00:33:56,954 --> 00:33:58,288 AFC Richmond, 555 00:33:58,372 --> 00:34:02,376 miraculously after a historically dreadful start to the season, 556 00:34:02,459 --> 00:34:04,503 are only one point out of second place. 557 00:34:04,586 --> 00:34:07,548 Come on, Richmond. Come on, Richmond. 558 00:34:07,631 --> 00:34:10,007 Come on, Richmond. Come on, Richmond. 559 00:34:10,676 --> 00:34:13,094 If they can somehow salvage a draw, 560 00:34:13,178 --> 00:34:16,014 Richmond will be promoted back to the Premier League. 561 00:34:16,514 --> 00:34:19,059 All they need is one moment of individual brilliance, Arlo. 562 00:34:19,141 --> 00:34:22,437 -Come on, Richmond. -Can they find it in time? 563 00:34:22,521 --> 00:34:24,313 Come on, Richmond. Come on, Richmond. 564 00:34:24,398 --> 00:34:28,402 Come on, Richmond. Come on, Richmond. Come on, Richmond… 565 00:34:28,485 --> 00:34:30,487 A long ball from the Dutchman. 566 00:34:31,321 --> 00:34:32,989 Tartt is there! 567 00:34:33,907 --> 00:34:35,951 Is this the moment for Richmond? 568 00:34:38,996 --> 00:34:40,163 Referee! 569 00:34:40,246 --> 00:34:41,706 Referee! 570 00:34:42,541 --> 00:34:43,792 It's a penalty. 571 00:34:44,751 --> 00:34:45,710 Yeah! 572 00:34:45,793 --> 00:34:47,045 -Yes! -Yes! Yes! 573 00:34:50,132 --> 00:34:52,384 We have to think Tartt will be the one to take it. 574 00:34:52,467 --> 00:34:54,178 He hasn't missed a penalty all season. 575 00:35:06,148 --> 00:35:07,399 Dani. 576 00:35:12,279 --> 00:35:13,697 You got this, muchacho. 577 00:35:14,698 --> 00:35:16,283 It'll be fun. Trust me. 578 00:35:18,118 --> 00:35:20,621 It looks like Tartt is giving the ball to Rojas, 579 00:35:20,704 --> 00:35:24,291 who hasn't kicked a penalty since, well… 580 00:35:32,049 --> 00:35:34,009 Come on, Dani! 581 00:35:51,610 --> 00:35:52,694 Let's go, Dani! 582 00:35:52,778 --> 00:35:53,862 Here we go, Dani! 583 00:36:15,467 --> 00:36:17,344 Football is life. 584 00:36:26,854 --> 00:36:28,730 Richmond have done it! 585 00:36:28,814 --> 00:36:30,983 With that goal, they'll finish in second place 586 00:36:31,066 --> 00:36:35,112 and will return to the Premier League in their very first attempt. 587 00:36:35,195 --> 00:36:37,573 We are going up! We are going up! 588 00:36:37,656 --> 00:36:40,659 We are going up! Yeah, we are going up! 589 00:36:40,742 --> 00:36:41,743 Yeah! 590 00:36:41,827 --> 00:36:43,620 It's all over! 591 00:36:43,704 --> 00:36:45,956 Richmond have done the impossible 592 00:36:46,039 --> 00:36:49,918 through grit, determination and most of all belief! 593 00:36:50,002 --> 00:36:52,504 I was promoted a time or two in my career, Arlo. 594 00:36:52,588 --> 00:36:53,922 It's a real achievement. 595 00:36:54,006 --> 00:36:55,090 Richmond deserve this. 596 00:36:55,174 --> 00:36:58,719 They remain a club without a major trophy, it must be said. 597 00:36:58,802 --> 00:37:00,971 But it won't feel that way tonight. 598 00:37:01,054 --> 00:37:04,516 Final score: Richmond 2, Brentford 2. 599 00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:07,728 And the joy is back at Nelson Road. 600 00:37:09,813 --> 00:37:12,357 -Yeah! -Hey! Come on! Come on! 601 00:37:12,941 --> 00:37:14,943 Fucking hell! What'd you do that for? 602 00:37:15,027 --> 00:37:17,070 So I could do this. 603 00:37:19,198 --> 00:37:22,326 -Yeah! -Yeah! 604 00:37:22,409 --> 00:37:26,496 Yes! Let's go! 605 00:37:26,580 --> 00:37:28,665 Yeah! 606 00:37:31,084 --> 00:37:32,127 Yeah! 607 00:37:32,211 --> 00:37:33,670 -You want some water? -Yes, please. 608 00:37:40,302 --> 00:37:42,471 We're Richmond till we die 609 00:37:42,554 --> 00:37:44,932 We know we are, we're sure we are We're Richmond till we die 610 00:37:45,015 --> 00:37:47,976 We're Richmond till we die We're Richmond till we die 611 00:37:48,060 --> 00:37:50,979 We know we are, we're sure we are We're Richmond till we die 612 00:37:51,063 --> 00:37:54,191 We're Richmond till we die We're Richmond till we die 613 00:37:54,274 --> 00:37:57,319 We know we are, we're sure we are We're Richmond till we die 614 00:37:57,402 --> 00:37:58,820 We're Richmond till we die 615 00:37:58,904 --> 00:38:00,364 Sam. 616 00:38:00,447 --> 00:38:02,157 We know we are, we're sure we are 617 00:38:02,241 --> 00:38:06,662 We're Richmond till we die We're Richmond till we die 618 00:38:06,745 --> 00:38:09,498 We know we are, we're sure we are We're Richmond till we die 619 00:38:13,043 --> 00:38:16,171 Sam! Hey. Sammo, hey. 620 00:38:16,255 --> 00:38:18,382 Excellent performance. 621 00:38:18,465 --> 00:38:20,592 Yeah, the goal, of course, speaks for itself, yeah. 622 00:38:20,676 --> 00:38:24,179 But your tactical discipline, hey. 623 00:38:24,263 --> 00:38:26,223 They are certainly going to miss you around here. 624 00:38:28,016 --> 00:38:29,351 Mr. Akufo. 625 00:38:29,434 --> 00:38:33,730 I truly enjoyed meeting you, and I'm so flattered by your offer. 626 00:38:35,357 --> 00:38:37,276 I'm sorry, but my answer is, "No, thank you." 627 00:38:40,112 --> 00:38:42,948 And I don't believe my time here at Richmond is over. 628 00:38:43,031 --> 00:38:44,992 And for that reason, I have to stay. 629 00:38:46,660 --> 00:38:47,953 I hope you can understand. 630 00:38:51,373 --> 00:38:53,458 You Nigerian motherfucker! 631 00:38:54,710 --> 00:38:56,712 You Yoruba trash. 632 00:38:56,795 --> 00:38:59,256 Who the fuck do you think you are, wasting my time? 633 00:38:59,339 --> 00:39:01,633 You medium-talent piece of shit. 634 00:39:01,717 --> 00:39:02,885 "Medium-talent"? 635 00:39:02,968 --> 00:39:07,139 I will dedicate my life to destroying you, you fucking asshole! 636 00:39:07,222 --> 00:39:10,767 You will never play on the Nigerian national team. 637 00:39:11,977 --> 00:39:13,770 You understand me, pinky-dick? Never! 638 00:39:14,938 --> 00:39:18,859 I will buy your childhood home, and I will take a shit in every room. 639 00:39:18,942 --> 00:39:20,319 And then I will burn the place down. 640 00:39:20,402 --> 00:39:22,362 Yeah. Then, I will sit there, and I'll eat kenkey, 641 00:39:22,446 --> 00:39:25,073 and I'll poop on the fucking ashes. I promise you this, hey. 642 00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:27,618 Okay. 643 00:39:27,701 --> 00:39:29,786 I will never forget this disrespect. 644 00:39:29,870 --> 00:39:31,205 Fuck you, Sam Obisanya. 645 00:39:37,336 --> 00:39:38,504 Fucking dare! 646 00:39:41,215 --> 00:39:42,508 That dick! 647 00:39:52,851 --> 00:39:54,019 Yes. 648 00:39:55,437 --> 00:39:57,397 Poop, poop. 649 00:40:00,192 --> 00:40:01,818 Okay, y'all. Hey, settle down, y'all. 650 00:40:01,902 --> 00:40:03,570 Okay, okay. Easy, easy now. Easy. Hey, hey. 651 00:40:03,654 --> 00:40:06,740 Y'all, come on. Calm down, all right? Look-- 652 00:40:06,823 --> 00:40:09,952 Well, right off the cricket bat here, I wanna address the article 653 00:40:10,035 --> 00:40:12,246 written by our good friend, Mr. Trent Crimm from The… 654 00:40:17,125 --> 00:40:20,671 Or rather, I want to share with y'all the truth 655 00:40:20,754 --> 00:40:22,965 about my recent struggles with anxiety. 656 00:40:25,926 --> 00:40:28,470 And, well, my overall concern 657 00:40:28,554 --> 00:40:31,890 about the way we discuss and deal with mental health in athletics. 658 00:40:36,436 --> 00:40:40,065 Hey, boss. Just wanted to congratulate you on your promotion. 659 00:40:40,148 --> 00:40:43,277 You too, Ted. Champagne to celebrate? 660 00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:46,113 -I'll just take a glass of water, please. -Still or sparkling? 661 00:40:48,198 --> 00:40:50,075 Yes. Still. Right. 662 00:40:50,158 --> 00:40:52,327 You know, before living here, I used to think still water 663 00:40:52,411 --> 00:40:54,830 was just folks saying it's still water, you know? 664 00:40:54,913 --> 00:40:59,209 Like, it was water, and it continues to remain to be water. 665 00:40:59,293 --> 00:41:01,879 Well, there's no greater education than travel. 666 00:41:01,962 --> 00:41:04,089 A-freaking-men. 667 00:41:06,842 --> 00:41:09,136 Well, hey. Next season should be fun, right? 668 00:41:09,219 --> 00:41:11,638 Well, one that'll include an old friend. 669 00:41:13,098 --> 00:41:15,350 Rupert's bought West Ham United. 670 00:41:15,434 --> 00:41:16,768 Did he now? 671 00:41:17,769 --> 00:41:19,354 Well, that'll be a nice change. 672 00:41:20,856 --> 00:41:22,566 Having our run-ins with him being scheduled, 673 00:41:22,649 --> 00:41:24,484 as opposed to his normal sneak attacks. 674 00:41:27,362 --> 00:41:28,572 Hi, Rebecca. 675 00:41:29,031 --> 00:41:30,324 And Coach. 676 00:41:32,284 --> 00:41:33,285 Sorry. 677 00:41:33,368 --> 00:41:35,662 No. Hey. Sam, go ahead. Stick around. I was getting ready to leave. 678 00:41:35,746 --> 00:41:37,664 -No, Ted. Stay. -No, no, no, no. It's okay. 679 00:41:38,498 --> 00:41:39,583 Yeah. Okay. 680 00:41:44,087 --> 00:41:47,132 I just wanted to let you both know 681 00:41:47,216 --> 00:41:49,676 that I've decided to stay. 682 00:41:53,430 --> 00:41:54,765 Hey, that's great, Sam. 683 00:41:57,518 --> 00:41:59,520 Yes. I'm glad to hear that, Sam. 684 00:42:02,523 --> 00:42:05,609 How did Edwin Akufo take the news? 685 00:42:07,194 --> 00:42:10,155 Not well. He stormed off. 686 00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:11,782 He's already halfway back to Ghana. 687 00:42:11,865 --> 00:42:13,408 Oh, shoot. I was really looking forward 688 00:42:13,492 --> 00:42:15,577 to that goodbye handshake from Francis. 689 00:42:18,914 --> 00:42:21,792 Well, I should go. 690 00:42:22,501 --> 00:42:25,128 Hey, Sam. I was just curious. 691 00:42:25,212 --> 00:42:28,173 What-- Why'd you decide to stay? 692 00:42:35,806 --> 00:42:38,058 I wish I could say it was because of my feelings for you, 693 00:42:40,853 --> 00:42:45,190 but the truth is, I think I need to stop worrying about how others feel about me. 694 00:42:46,024 --> 00:42:49,528 I'm staying because it's what's best for me and my personal journey. 695 00:43:06,253 --> 00:43:07,254 Thank you. 696 00:43:13,927 --> 00:43:16,013 He might have been talking to you when he was looking at me. 697 00:43:16,096 --> 00:43:18,765 Yes. I know that, Ted. 698 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:29,109 -Oh, hell. You crushed that. -Yeah. 699 00:43:33,322 --> 00:43:34,406 Coach Lasso. 700 00:43:35,532 --> 00:43:38,452 Hey. There he is. I was worried about you. 701 00:43:38,535 --> 00:43:40,329 I thought you might've been in a bike accident. 702 00:43:40,412 --> 00:43:42,623 Actually, I don't know how to ride a bicycle. 703 00:43:42,706 --> 00:43:44,583 Really? That surprises me. 704 00:43:44,666 --> 00:43:47,711 Why? 'Cause of the hair and the whole vibe? 705 00:43:47,794 --> 00:43:49,463 Yeah, I guess so. 706 00:43:49,546 --> 00:43:51,381 Why the heck weren't you at the press conference? 707 00:43:51,465 --> 00:43:53,592 Because I am no longer a reporter. 708 00:43:53,675 --> 00:43:56,762 I was fired when they found out I revealed an anonymous source. 709 00:43:56,845 --> 00:43:59,389 Oh, snap. I didn't say anything, I promise. 710 00:43:59,473 --> 00:44:01,642 No, I know, Ted. I did. 711 00:44:02,976 --> 00:44:05,729 I'm looking for something different. Deeper. 712 00:44:06,980 --> 00:44:08,899 Well, as the man says, you gotta follow your bliss, right? 713 00:44:09,608 --> 00:44:10,901 Sorry you're out of a job. 714 00:44:10,984 --> 00:44:12,736 You know what this makes you now, though, right? 715 00:44:13,654 --> 00:44:15,656 Trent Crimm. Independent. 716 00:44:15,739 --> 00:44:16,949 Yeah. 717 00:44:17,032 --> 00:44:19,493 Yeah, yeah. My father made the same joke. 718 00:44:19,576 --> 00:44:21,036 Yeah. He sounds like a cool guy. 719 00:44:22,371 --> 00:44:24,456 Well, I hope our paths cross again soon, Trent. 720 00:44:25,123 --> 00:44:27,751 As do I, Ted. I love our chats. 721 00:44:29,711 --> 00:44:30,796 You want a ride? 722 00:44:31,588 --> 00:44:33,715 Well, I prefer to walk, but I appreciate ya. 723 00:44:33,799 --> 00:44:34,842 And Ted, 724 00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:38,011 good luck next season. 725 00:44:48,355 --> 00:44:49,356 Shit. 726 00:45:02,995 --> 00:45:06,665 -This the last of it? -Yeah. Just these and Trixibelle. 727 00:45:06,748 --> 00:45:07,749 Right. 728 00:45:07,833 --> 00:45:11,920 I got you a last-day- working-in-the-same-building present. 729 00:45:12,004 --> 00:45:13,005 Here. 730 00:45:16,884 --> 00:45:18,177 Airplane tickets? 731 00:45:19,136 --> 00:45:20,554 You got me airplane tickets? 732 00:45:20,637 --> 00:45:22,181 To Marbella. 733 00:45:22,264 --> 00:45:24,558 How did you get actual printed tickets? 734 00:45:24,641 --> 00:45:27,436 From my travel agent, Kathy. She's old-school. 735 00:45:27,519 --> 00:45:30,647 Roy, are you sure they still take paper tickets at airports? 736 00:45:30,731 --> 00:45:32,232 Like, is the plane gonna have propellers? 737 00:45:32,316 --> 00:45:34,318 Oh, my God. Am I gonna be able to smoke on the flight? 738 00:45:34,401 --> 00:45:37,279 Right, stop it. You are missing the point. 739 00:45:38,447 --> 00:45:40,407 Tomorrow, you and I 740 00:45:40,490 --> 00:45:44,620 are going to a villa by the sea for six weeks 741 00:45:44,703 --> 00:45:47,956 so you can chill out before you start kicking ass in your new job. 742 00:45:48,790 --> 00:45:52,127 And I'm going to take the first holiday I've taken since I was 12, 743 00:45:52,211 --> 00:45:55,297 where I don't have to stay in shape or rehab my fucking knee. 744 00:45:56,298 --> 00:45:59,927 I'm gonna gorge myself to death on tapas, 745 00:46:00,010 --> 00:46:02,888 and it will take fucking ages. 746 00:46:05,390 --> 00:46:08,018 Babe, thank you. 747 00:46:16,401 --> 00:46:18,111 But I can't go. 748 00:46:20,030 --> 00:46:21,573 What? Why not? 749 00:46:21,657 --> 00:46:23,909 I don't start work in six weeks. 750 00:46:23,992 --> 00:46:26,787 -I started like a week ago. -Yeah, I know. 751 00:46:26,870 --> 00:46:29,790 That's why I made sure the place has got proper Wi-Fi and everything. 752 00:46:29,873 --> 00:46:34,127 You can do all your emails and shit, but from a balcony with a sea view. 753 00:46:34,211 --> 00:46:38,048 Roy, I'd love to. But I can't. 754 00:46:39,967 --> 00:46:41,510 I just can't. 755 00:46:43,095 --> 00:46:44,805 But you should go. 756 00:46:51,895 --> 00:46:53,272 Are we breaking up? 757 00:46:53,355 --> 00:46:56,692 No. Why would you say that? 758 00:46:56,775 --> 00:46:58,777 Of course not. 759 00:46:58,861 --> 00:47:01,530 You are gonna take a well-earned holiday 760 00:47:03,031 --> 00:47:05,200 while I lock myself in a dark room and work nonstop. 761 00:47:07,369 --> 00:47:09,371 And I'll see you in six weeks. 762 00:47:11,456 --> 00:47:12,457 Keeley. 763 00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,878 Roy. I love you. 764 00:47:16,795 --> 00:47:18,255 We'll be fine. 765 00:47:19,631 --> 00:47:21,300 I'll see you in six weeks. 766 00:48:10,933 --> 00:48:12,184 Congratulations. 767 00:48:19,775 --> 00:48:20,984 What's it gonna be? 768 00:48:23,862 --> 00:48:25,697 A Nigerian restaurant. 769 00:48:42,256 --> 00:48:45,634 -Move! I want it faster! Go! -Coach! Sir! 770 00:48:45,717 --> 00:48:47,511 -Move! -Coach! 771 00:48:47,594 --> 00:48:49,596 -Next. Go. -Sir! 772 00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:51,515 -Move it! -Coach! 773 00:48:51,598 --> 00:48:53,684 -Go! -Sir! 774 00:48:56,979 --> 00:48:59,439 -Move! Go! -Coach! 775 00:49:01,024 --> 00:49:03,944 -Move! Go! -Coach! Sir! 776 00:49:04,027 --> 00:49:05,779 -Move! -Coach!