1 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:28,600 HI THERE. 2 00:00:28,666 --> 00:00:29,666 WELCOME TO THE SHOW, 3 00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:30,633 STILL COMING TO YOU FROM 4 00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:31,600 THIS BLANK VOID. 5 00:00:31,666 --> 00:00:32,400 WHICH HAS STARTED TO FEEL A BIT 6 00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:33,633 LIKE HOME. 7 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,633 AND TO BE HONEST, IT IS PRETTY 8 00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:35,533 SIMILAR TO ENGLAND IN THAT 9 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:36,500 IT'S FRUSTRATINGLY WHITE, 10 00:00:36,566 --> 00:00:37,133 IMMEDIATELY DEPRESSING, 11 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:37,933 AND I WANT TO GET OUT OF IT 12 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,292 AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. 13 00:00:39,366 --> 00:00:40,033 LOOK, IT'S BEEN ANOTHER BUSY 14 00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:41,566 WEEK. 15 00:00:41,633 --> 00:00:43,700 CHER TURNED 75, THE HOUSE VOTED 16 00:00:43,766 --> 00:00:44,200 TO CREATE AN INDEPENDENT 17 00:00:44,266 --> 00:00:44,333 NO 18 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:44,866 COMMISSION TO INVESTIGATE 19 00:00:44,933 --> 00:00:45,933 THE CAPITOL ASSAULT, AND 20 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,766 THE SUPREME COURT DID THIS: 21 00:00:47,833 --> 00:00:48,842 THE SUPREME COURT SAYS IT 22 00:00:48,866 --> 00:00:50,000 WILL TAKE UP THE MOST DIRECT 23 00:00:50,066 --> 00:00:51,000 CHALLENGE TO ROE VS. WADE 24 00:00:51,066 --> 00:00:52,666 IN A GENERATION THIS FALL. 25 00:00:52,733 --> 00:00:52,800 NO 26 00:00:52,866 --> 00:00:54,633 AT ISSUE, A MISSISSIPPI LAW 27 00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:56,433 THAT WOULD BAN ALMOST ALL 28 00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:56,566 NO 29 00:00:56,633 --> 00:00:57,566 ABORTIONS AFTER 15 WEEKS OF 30 00:00:57,633 --> 00:00:59,200 PREGNANCY. 31 00:00:59,266 --> 00:01:00,633 IT'S SIMILAR TO BANS RECENTLY 32 00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:01,966 PASSED IN OTHER CONSERVATIVE 33 00:01:02,033 --> 00:01:03,600 LEANING STATES, ALL DESIGNED 34 00:01:03,666 --> 00:01:05,033 TO GET THE NEWLY CONSERVATIVE 35 00:01:05,100 --> 00:01:07,166 SUPREME COURT TO CONFRONT 36 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:07,300 NO 37 00:01:07,366 --> 00:01:08,866 ROE VS. WADE HEAD ON. 38 00:01:08,933 --> 00:01:10,366 YUP! 39 00:01:10,433 --> 00:01:11,733 THE THING CONSERVATIVES HAVE 40 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:12,633 BEEN TRYING TO DO FOR DECADES 41 00:01:12,700 --> 00:01:14,266 NOW IS FINALLY HAPPENING. 42 00:01:14,333 --> 00:01:15,966 ROLLING BACK ABORTION RIGHTS 43 00:01:16,033 --> 00:01:16,700 IS PRETTY MUCH THE REASON 44 00:01:16,766 --> 00:01:17,600 THE COUNTRY HAD TO WATCH 45 00:01:17,666 --> 00:01:18,800 A HUMAN BEER BONG SCREAM AND 46 00:01:18,866 --> 00:01:20,466 CRY DURING A JOB INTERVIEW, 47 00:01:20,533 --> 00:01:22,000 THE REASON EVERYONE FREAKED OUT 48 00:01:22,066 --> 00:01:22,933 WHEN AN 87-YEAR-OLD WOMAN DIED, 49 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,566 AND THE REASON WHY THE PRESIDENT 50 00:01:24,633 --> 00:01:25,866 AND HALF HIS INNER CIRCLE ALL 51 00:01:25,933 --> 00:01:27,500 GOT COVID IN THE ROSE GARDEN... 52 00:01:27,566 --> 00:01:30,466 WASN'T THAT A FUN COUPLE OF 53 00:01:30,533 --> 00:01:30,666 DAYS? 54 00:01:30,733 --> 00:01:32,400 ALL OF THAT WAS BUILDING UP TO 55 00:01:32,466 --> 00:01:33,576 THIS DEPRESSINGLY SIGNIFICANT 56 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,866 MOMENT. 57 00:01:35,933 --> 00:01:36,433 AND STATES HAVE BEEN PUSHING 58 00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:37,400 THE ENVELOPE HARD WHEN IT COMES 59 00:01:37,466 --> 00:01:38,533 TO LIMITING ABORTION. 60 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:39,709 WITH THE LATEST ATTEMPT COMING 61 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:40,966 JUST THIS WEEK IN TEXAS. 62 00:01:41,033 --> 00:01:42,666 TEXAS HAS JUST ADOPTED 63 00:01:42,733 --> 00:01:43,600 ONE OF THE MOST RESTRICTIVE 64 00:01:43,666 --> 00:01:44,833 ANTI-ABORTION LAWS IN THE 65 00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:46,566 NATION. 66 00:01:46,633 --> 00:01:47,566 REPUBLICAN GOVERNOR GREG ABBOTT 67 00:01:47,633 --> 00:01:49,633 SIGNED THE BILL YESTERDAY. 68 00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:52,266 IT BANS THE PROCEDURE AS EARLY 69 00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:53,966 AS SIX WEEKS INTO A PREGNANCY, 70 00:01:54,033 --> 00:01:55,300 BEFORE MANY WOMEN EVEN KNOW 71 00:01:55,366 --> 00:01:56,233 THEY'RE PREGNANT. 72 00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:57,300 WELL, THAT'S 73 00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:59,033 INFURIATING. 74 00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:00,366 AND MADE SOMEHOW EVEN WORSE 75 00:02:00,433 --> 00:02:01,733 BY THE FACT THEY SEEMED TO CRAM 76 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,666 THE FEW WOMEN IN THE ROOM RIGHT 77 00:02:03,733 --> 00:02:04,973 BEHIND ABBOTT AND THEN LET WHAT 78 00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,833 CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS A 79 00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:08,933 JOSEPH A. BANK OF MEN FILL IN 80 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:09,300 EVERYWHERE ELSE. 81 00:02:09,366 --> 00:02:10,576 YOU USUALLY DON'T SEE THAT MANY 82 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,066 MEN IN SUITS LINED UP TO 83 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:12,833 DISAPPOINT WOMEN UNLESS 84 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:13,733 IT'S THE FIRST NIGHT OF 85 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,166 "THE BACHELORETTE." 86 00:02:15,233 --> 00:02:16,309 AND FOR MANY BEHIND THAT BILL, 87 00:02:16,333 --> 00:02:17,266 INCLUDING ONE OF ITS SPONSORS, 88 00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:17,966 STATE SENATOR 89 00:02:18,033 --> 00:02:19,366 CHARLES SCHWERTNER, 90 00:02:19,433 --> 00:02:20,476 RESTRICTING ACCESS TO ABORTION 91 00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:23,233 HAS LONG BEEN A PRIORITY. 92 00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:24,900 IN 2017, HE SILENCED A WITNESS 93 00:02:24,966 --> 00:02:27,400 TESTIFYING AGAINST AN EARLIER 94 00:02:27,466 --> 00:02:29,566 ANTI-ABORTION BILL SO HARD, 95 00:02:29,633 --> 00:02:31,500 HIS GAVEL BROKE THE GLASS 96 00:02:31,566 --> 00:02:31,966 TABLETOP OF HIS DESK. 97 00:02:32,033 --> 00:02:32,900 TAKE A LOOK. 98 00:02:32,966 --> 00:02:35,866 SB415 INSERTS ITSELF INTO THE 99 00:02:35,933 --> 00:02:36,500 EXAM ROOM BY PUTTING PHYSICIANS 100 00:02:36,566 --> 00:02:37,433 IN THE UNCONSCIONABLE POSITION 101 00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:39,933 OF HAVING TO DENY A WOMAN THE 102 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,333 EVIDENCE-BASED COMPASSIONATE 103 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,300 CARE THAT RESULTS IN THE FEWEST 104 00:02:42,366 --> 00:02:43,400 COMPLICATIONS. 105 00:02:43,466 --> 00:02:44,600 I WANT TO REMIND YOU ALL... 106 00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:45,800 MS. HENNESSY... 107 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:46,976 ESPECIALLY THE DOCTORS ON 108 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:47,900 THIS COMMITTEE, THAT A VOTE FOR 109 00:02:47,966 --> 00:02:48,533 THIS BILL PUTS WOMEN'S LIVES... 110 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:48,933 THANK YOU, 111 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:49,833 MS. HENNESSY... 112 00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:50,533 ON THE LINE. 113 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:51,366 YOUR TIME IS DONE... 114 00:02:51,433 --> 00:02:51,966 I URGE YOU TO STOP PLAYING 115 00:02:52,033 --> 00:02:52,566 WITH REPRODUCTIVE HEALTHCARE 116 00:02:52,633 --> 00:02:53,400 AS IF IT'S YOUR OWN POLITICAL 117 00:02:53,466 --> 00:02:54,533 PUPPET. 118 00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:59,466 THANK YOU. 119 00:02:59,533 --> 00:03:00,566 THANK YOU. 120 00:03:00,633 --> 00:03:01,400 YOUR TIME IS DONE. 121 00:03:01,466 --> 00:03:03,200 WOW. 122 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,333 YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. 123 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:05,700 WOMEN ARE TOO EMOTIONAL TO MAKE 124 00:03:05,766 --> 00:03:07,433 DECISIONS ABOUT THEIR OWN BODIES 125 00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:08,566 ...BEST LEAVE IT TO A 126 00:03:08,633 --> 00:03:10,300 LEVEL-HEADED, REASONABLE MAN WHO 127 00:03:10,366 --> 00:03:11,900 HULKS OUT ON HIS DESK AT WORK. 128 00:03:11,966 --> 00:03:15,733 BECAUSE JUST LOOK AT WHAT THAT 129 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:16,966 FUCKING GAVEL DID. 130 00:03:17,033 --> 00:03:17,933 IN EVERY WAY, THAT IS THE EXACT 131 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:18,733 OPPOSITE OF WHAT IS MEANT BY 132 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,500 "BREAKING THE GLASS CEILING." 133 00:03:20,566 --> 00:03:21,966 AND THERE WILL CLEARLY BE MUCH 134 00:03:22,033 --> 00:03:23,333 MORE TO SAY ON THIS STORY AS IT 135 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:24,640 UNFOLDS, BUT FOR NOW, LET'S TRY 136 00:03:24,666 --> 00:03:26,633 AND TAKE A LOOK AT NEWS THAT 137 00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:28,166 ISN'T ACTIVELY DEPRESSING. 138 00:03:28,233 --> 00:03:28,866 AND HERE'S ONE... IN 139 00:03:28,933 --> 00:03:30,766 PHILADELPHIA, LARRY KRASNER, 140 00:03:30,833 --> 00:03:31,909 THE REFORM D.A., WON A HOTLY 141 00:03:31,933 --> 00:03:33,233 CONTESTED PRIMARY AND KRASNER'S 142 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,900 VICTORY WAS BY NO MEANS ASSURED 143 00:03:34,966 --> 00:03:36,500 ...THE POLICE UNION BACKED 144 00:03:36,566 --> 00:03:38,366 HIS OPPONENT IN THE PRIMARY, 145 00:03:38,433 --> 00:03:39,566 AND HE'S COME UNDER ATTACK 146 00:03:39,633 --> 00:03:40,433 FOR BOLD REFORMS LIKE VOWING TO 147 00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:42,266 NEVER PURSUE A DEATH SENTENCE, 148 00:03:42,333 --> 00:03:42,866 REDUCE THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE 149 00:03:42,933 --> 00:03:44,033 SENT TO PRISON BY SEEKING 150 00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:45,566 ALTERNATIVES TO INCARCERATION, 151 00:03:45,633 --> 00:03:47,500 AND TO STOP ILLEGAL 152 00:03:47,566 --> 00:03:47,866 STOP-AND-FRISK, 153 00:03:47,933 --> 00:03:48,466 REFORM CASH BAIL, AND END THE 154 00:03:48,533 --> 00:03:50,833 ABUSE OF CIVIL ASSET FORFEITURE. 155 00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:53,633 WHICH IS A STRIKING SET OF 156 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,800 PROMISES, ESPECIALLY COMING FROM 157 00:03:55,866 --> 00:03:57,933 A GUY WHOSE FACE-SWEATER COMBO 158 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,866 WHISPERS, "I'VE GOT AUDIOBOOKS 159 00:03:59,933 --> 00:04:00,966 ON VINYL." 160 00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:02,142 NOW, KRASNER STILL HAS TO FACE 161 00:04:02,166 --> 00:04:03,633 A REPUBLICAN IN THE GENERAL 162 00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:03,900 ELECTION. 163 00:04:03,966 --> 00:04:05,000 SPECIFICALLY, THIS MAN, 164 00:04:05,066 --> 00:04:06,300 CHARLES PERUTO. 165 00:04:06,366 --> 00:04:08,366 WHO IS A LOT. 166 00:04:08,433 --> 00:04:09,542 HIS PLATFORM IS THE ANTITHESIS 167 00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:10,833 OF KRASNER'S. 168 00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:12,600 AND HE'S SAID, "MY FIRST LINE OF 169 00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:15,333 BUSINESS IS TO MEET WITH EVERY 170 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:15,700 POLICE CAPTAIN. 171 00:04:15,766 --> 00:04:16,809 I WANT TO HAVE MY WIFE COOK THEM 172 00:04:16,833 --> 00:04:19,166 DINNER," WHILE ALSO RELEASING 173 00:04:19,233 --> 00:04:20,242 THIS VIDEO ON HIS WEBSITE: 174 00:04:20,266 --> 00:04:20,900 I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN 175 00:04:20,966 --> 00:04:21,700 WEST PHILADELPHIA, 176 00:04:21,766 --> 00:04:23,900 64TH AND JEFFERSON. 177 00:04:23,966 --> 00:04:24,500 I WAS BORN IN 178 00:04:24,566 --> 00:04:26,400 A MIXED NEIGHBORHOOD. 179 00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:28,666 I LOVED IT. 180 00:04:28,733 --> 00:04:30,966 IRONICALLY ENOUGH, THE KID 181 00:04:31,033 --> 00:04:31,566 I HUNG OUT WITH EVERY DAY WAS 182 00:04:31,633 --> 00:04:33,333 MICHAEL JACKSON. 183 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:34,442 HE DIDN'T SING BUT HE PLAYED 184 00:04:34,466 --> 00:04:36,633 HOOPS. 185 00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:38,566 I UNDERSTAND BLACK PEOPLE JUST 186 00:04:38,633 --> 00:04:40,666 ABOUT AS WELL AS A BLACK PERSON, 187 00:04:40,733 --> 00:04:42,600 NOT GONNA SAY... I'M NOT GONNA 188 00:04:42,666 --> 00:04:43,400 SAY EQUAL, BUT PRETTY GOOD. 189 00:04:43,466 --> 00:04:44,933 OKAY. 190 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,500 THAT GUY, SITTING IN THAT 191 00:04:46,566 --> 00:04:48,000 OFFICE, SAYING HE UNDERSTANDS 192 00:04:48,066 --> 00:04:49,366 BLACK PEOPLE AS WELL AS ANY 193 00:04:49,433 --> 00:04:50,533 BLACK PERSON ISN'T GREAT. 194 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,033 EVEN IF HE DOES SLIGHTLY WALK IT 195 00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:54,666 BACK BY SAYING, "I'M NOT GONNA 196 00:04:54,733 --> 00:04:55,500 SAY EQUAL, BUT PRETTY GOOD"... 197 00:04:55,566 --> 00:04:56,433 A LEVEL OF NUANCE NOT SEEN SINCE 198 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:58,766 PLESSY VS. FERGUSON. 199 00:04:58,833 --> 00:05:01,066 THE WHOLE VIDEO IS 35 MINUTES 200 00:05:01,133 --> 00:05:02,309 LONG, AND SHOT IN A SINGLE TAKE, 201 00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:03,866 WITH REAL "NO ONE IN MY FAMILY 202 00:05:03,933 --> 00:05:04,976 WANTS TO LISTEN TO ME ANYMORE 203 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,633 SO THEY SHOWED ME HOW TO USE A 204 00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:07,733 WEBCAM" ENERGY. 205 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:08,566 AND LOOK, PERUTO IS UNLIKELY TO 206 00:05:08,633 --> 00:05:10,500 WIN. 207 00:05:10,566 --> 00:05:11,966 BUT HE DOES SPEAK TO THE 208 00:05:12,033 --> 00:05:12,666 POST-TRUMP TREND WHERE EXTREME 209 00:05:12,733 --> 00:05:15,933 CARTOONISHNESS ISN'T A 210 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:16,566 DEAL BREAKER FOR CANDIDATES... 211 00:05:16,633 --> 00:05:17,966 IT'S A SELLING POINT. 212 00:05:18,033 --> 00:05:19,700 TAKE MISSOURI'S MARK McCLOSKEY, 213 00:05:19,766 --> 00:05:20,200 WHO YOU MIGHT REMEMBER 214 00:05:20,266 --> 00:05:21,200 AS THE MAN WHO POINTED A GUN 215 00:05:21,266 --> 00:05:22,733 AT BLACK LIVES MATTER PROTESTERS 216 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:23,533 WHILE SOMEHOW MAKING 217 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:25,500 A POLO SHIRT SLUTTY. 218 00:05:25,566 --> 00:05:27,900 WELL, THIS WEEK, HE DECLARED 219 00:05:27,966 --> 00:05:29,126 HIS CANDIDACY FOR SENATE WITH 220 00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:31,566 WHEN THE ANGRY MOB CAME TO 221 00:05:31,633 --> 00:05:33,733 DESTROY MY HOUSE AND KILL MY 222 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:34,876 FAMILY, I TOOK A STAND AGAINST 223 00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:36,200 THEM. 224 00:05:36,266 --> 00:05:37,342 NOW I'M ASKING FOR THE PRIVILEGE 225 00:05:37,366 --> 00:05:38,600 TO TAKE THAT STAND FOR ALL OF 226 00:05:38,666 --> 00:05:40,566 US. 227 00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:46,700 I WILL NEVER BACK DOWN. 228 00:05:46,766 --> 00:05:47,833 OKAY. 229 00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:48,933 SETTING ASIDE THE FACT 230 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:49,566 McCLOSKEY LOOKS LIKE WHAT YOU'D 231 00:05:49,633 --> 00:05:50,800 GET IF SEAN HANNITY FUCKED 232 00:05:50,866 --> 00:05:51,766 A PACKING PEANUT... "WHEN THE 233 00:05:51,833 --> 00:05:52,400 MOB CAME TO DESTROY MY HOUSE AND 234 00:05:52,466 --> 00:05:54,700 MY FAMILY?" 235 00:05:54,766 --> 00:05:55,100 GET OVER YOURSELF! 236 00:05:55,166 --> 00:05:56,600 THOSE WERE PROTESTERS WALKING 237 00:05:56,666 --> 00:05:57,709 PAST YOUR YARD ON THEIR WAY TO 238 00:05:57,733 --> 00:05:59,100 THE MAYOR'S HOUSE. 239 00:05:59,166 --> 00:06:00,333 NO ONE CARED ABOUT YOU UNTIL 240 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:01,000 YOU STARTED WAVING GUNS 241 00:06:01,066 --> 00:06:02,966 IN THEIR FACE. 242 00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:04,400 IF THERE ARE 243 00:06:04,466 --> 00:06:05,966 NATIONWIDE PROTESTS AGAINST 244 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,209 RACISM AND YOUR FIRST RESPONSE 245 00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:09,066 IS "THEY'RE COMING FOR ME!" 246 00:06:09,133 --> 00:06:10,500 MAYBE THINK ABOUT WHAT THAT SAYS 247 00:06:10,566 --> 00:06:12,166 ABOUT YOU. 248 00:06:12,233 --> 00:06:13,100 AND I'D SAY McCLOSKEY'S WAS 249 00:06:13,166 --> 00:06:14,700 THE MOST RIDICULOUS CAMPAIGN 250 00:06:14,766 --> 00:06:15,833 ANNOUNCEMENT THIS WEEK, 251 00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:17,600 WERE IT NOT FOR THE FACT THAT 252 00:06:17,666 --> 00:06:19,133 ANDREW GIULIANI... SON OF RUDY 253 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:20,066 ...IS NOW RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR 254 00:06:20,133 --> 00:06:22,133 OF NEW YORK. 255 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:23,533 AND EVEN FOX NEWS POINTED OUT, 256 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:24,709 HE'S DOING SO ON THE THINNEST 257 00:06:24,733 --> 00:06:26,100 POSSIBLE RESUME. 258 00:06:26,166 --> 00:06:28,200 ONE OF THE THINGS THAT'S 259 00:06:28,266 --> 00:06:29,466 BEING ASKED ABOUT YOU IS IF 260 00:06:29,533 --> 00:06:30,966 YOU HAVE THE EXPERIENCE 261 00:06:31,033 --> 00:06:33,033 TO TAKE ON THE JOB OF GOVERNOR. 262 00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:34,033 YOU WORKED AT THE TRUMP 263 00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:35,833 WHITE HOUSE FOR FOUR YEARS, 264 00:06:35,900 --> 00:06:36,433 AND WERE A PROFESSIONAL GOLFER 265 00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:37,600 BEFORE THAT. 266 00:06:37,666 --> 00:06:39,366 THE TRUTH IS, MARTHA, FROM AN 267 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:40,900 EXPERIENCE PERSPECTIVE, I MAY BE 268 00:06:40,966 --> 00:06:42,533 35 YEARS OLD, BUT YOU GOTTA 269 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:43,500 REMEMBER, I SPENT 32 YEARS... 270 00:06:43,566 --> 00:06:45,066 PARTS OF 32 YEARS... IN POLITICS 271 00:06:45,133 --> 00:06:47,800 AND IN GOVERNMENT. 272 00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:51,100 I'M THE ONLY ANNOUNCED CANDIDATE 273 00:06:51,166 --> 00:06:52,342 THAT ACTUALLY HAS SPENT PARTS OF 274 00:06:52,366 --> 00:06:54,566 FIVE DECADES IN POLITICS. 275 00:06:54,633 --> 00:06:55,700 SO I MAY LOOK YOUNG, BUT I 276 00:06:55,766 --> 00:06:57,000 CERTAINLY FEEL A LOT OLDER. 277 00:06:57,066 --> 00:06:58,666 OKAY. 278 00:06:58,733 --> 00:07:00,033 THERE IS A LOT TO TAKE APART AND 279 00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:01,500 PUT BACK TOGETHER THERE. 280 00:07:01,566 --> 00:07:02,766 ONE... DO YOU THINK YOU 281 00:07:02,833 --> 00:07:04,600 LOOK YOUNG? 282 00:07:04,666 --> 00:07:06,666 BECAUSE IF I HAD TO GUESS 283 00:07:06,733 --> 00:07:07,466 YOUR AGE, I'D PUT YOU SOMEWHERE 284 00:07:07,533 --> 00:07:09,466 BETWEEN "UNHEALTHY 45" AND 285 00:07:09,533 --> 00:07:11,033 "LYING ABOUT AN EARLY RETIREMENT 286 00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:12,176 TO AVOID A SEXUAL HARASSMENT 287 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:13,766 SETTLEMENT BECOMING PUBLIC." 288 00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:15,533 ALSO, WHY WOULD YOU CLAIM TO 289 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:16,166 HAVE BEEN IN POLITICS SINCE YOU 290 00:07:16,233 --> 00:07:17,700 WERE THREE YEARS OLD? 291 00:07:17,766 --> 00:07:19,066 UNLESS YOU'RE COUNTING BEING 292 00:07:19,133 --> 00:07:21,166 VIOLENTLY HELD BY YOUR FATHER 293 00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:22,933 DURING HIS FAILED 1989 MAYORAL 294 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:23,866 CAMPAIGN WHILE DRESSED AS 295 00:07:23,933 --> 00:07:28,133 BUSINESS CHUCKY. 296 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:28,933 ARE YOU COUNTING THAT? 297 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,233 AND EVEN CALLING GIULIANI 298 00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:31,000 A "PROFESSIONAL GOLFER" NEEDS 299 00:07:31,066 --> 00:07:31,833 MORE CONTEXT, BECAUSE HIS CAREER 300 00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:33,533 HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE BEING KICKED 301 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:34,800 OFF THE DUKE GOLF TEAM FOR BAD 302 00:07:34,866 --> 00:07:36,433 BEHAVIOR LIKE ALLEGEDLY THROWING 303 00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:40,600 AN APPLE INTO ANOTHER PLAYER'S 304 00:07:40,666 --> 00:07:42,733 FACE SO HARD, THE APPLE 305 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:43,700 EXPLODED, AND THEN APPEARING ON 306 00:07:43,766 --> 00:07:46,700 A GOLF-THEMED REALITY 307 00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:49,366 COMPETITION CALLED "THE BIG 308 00:07:49,433 --> 00:07:50,200 BREAK," WHERE HE WAS CLEARLY 309 00:07:50,266 --> 00:07:50,500 TYPECAST AS 310 00:07:50,566 --> 00:07:51,466 "THE ANNOYING ONE." 311 00:07:51,533 --> 00:07:52,133 ANDREW GIULIANI, HE'S TALKY. 312 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:52,833 THAT'S ALL HE DOES. 313 00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:53,942 I MEAN, HE JUST... YOU KNOW, 314 00:07:53,966 --> 00:07:54,766 KIND OF TALKING EVERYONE UP, 315 00:07:54,833 --> 00:07:55,333 AND YOU KNOW, BEING ANDREW 316 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:55,933 PRETTY MUCH. 317 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:56,566 I KNOW HE WAS TALKING A LOT. 318 00:07:56,633 --> 00:07:57,266 NICE BALL THERE. 319 00:07:57,333 --> 00:07:57,833 DID THAT HIT THE TREE? 320 00:07:57,900 --> 00:07:59,266 DID THAT HIT THE TREE? 321 00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:00,433 THAT'S IMPRESSIVE. 322 00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:01,433 I KNOW A FEW GUYS WERE 323 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:02,700 GETTING IRRITATED, INCLUDING 324 00:08:02,766 --> 00:08:03,566 MYSELF. 325 00:08:03,633 --> 00:08:04,266 THAT'S A TREE! 326 00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:05,666 YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT'S NOT 327 00:08:05,733 --> 00:08:06,100 A TREE RIGHT THERE? 328 00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:06,733 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 329 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:07,933 THAT'S TOTALLY A TREE. 330 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,900 I MEAN, HE WOULD TALK TO 331 00:08:09,966 --> 00:08:11,233 THIS... TO THIS... TO THIS DOOR 332 00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:13,366 IF IT HAD EARS. 333 00:08:13,433 --> 00:08:15,133 HE KNOWS HE TALKS TOO MUCH, 334 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:16,733 AND WE ALL TELL HIM HE DOES BUT, 335 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:17,666 IT ALMOST MAKES HIM... I FEEL 336 00:08:17,733 --> 00:08:19,566 LIKE HE WANTS TO TALK MORE. 337 00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:20,466 ANDREW GIULIANI IS A 338 00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:21,933 NIGHTMARE. 339 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,100 IMAGINE BEING THE WORST PERSON 340 00:08:24,166 --> 00:08:26,133 ON A GOLF REALITY SHOW. 341 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:27,833 AND IT'S HARD TO IMAGINE 342 00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:29,333 GIULIANI WINNING THE SUPPORT OF 343 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,900 THE ENTIRE STATE OF NEW YORK 344 00:08:30,966 --> 00:08:32,366 WHEN IT SEEMS HE CAN'T EVEN 345 00:08:32,433 --> 00:08:33,642 WIN THE SUPPORT OF ALL OF THESE 346 00:08:33,666 --> 00:08:35,033 FUTURE ABSENTEE FATHERS. 347 00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,333 IN OTHER WORDS, HIS BASE. 348 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,166 AND YES, ANDREW GIULIANI'S 349 00:08:39,233 --> 00:08:39,466 RIDICULOUS. 350 00:08:39,533 --> 00:08:40,333 ALL THESE CANDIDATES ARE 351 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,166 RIDICULOUS. 352 00:08:42,233 --> 00:08:43,242 BUT IF THE LAST FEW YEARS HAVE 353 00:08:43,266 --> 00:08:44,000 TAUGHT US ANYTHING, IT'S THAT 354 00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:44,633 RIDICULOUS PEOPLE CAN END UP 355 00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:46,100 GETTING ELECTED. 356 00:08:46,166 --> 00:08:48,166 JUST THREE YEARS AGO, WE DID A 357 00:08:48,233 --> 00:08:50,500 PIECE ON STATE ATTORNEYS GENERAL 358 00:08:50,566 --> 00:08:52,000 ...AND IN IT, WE HIGHLIGHTED 359 00:08:52,066 --> 00:08:52,566 ANGELA PAXTON, THE WIFE OF 360 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:53,633 TEXAS'S A.G. 361 00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:55,833 JUST LISTEN TO HIS 362 00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:57,133 WIFE, PROUDLY DESCRIBING 363 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,700 PAXTON'S LOVE FOR LAWSUITS 364 00:08:58,766 --> 00:09:00,466 IN WHAT APPARENTLY I LEGALLY 365 00:09:00,533 --> 00:09:01,900 HAVE TO CALL "A SONG." 366 00:09:10,433 --> 00:09:12,266 A FEW THINGS YOU CAN 367 00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:13,400 THAT WOMAN 368 00:09:13,466 --> 00:09:15,700 HAS A GUN, A LITIGIOUS HUSBAND, 369 00:09:15,766 --> 00:09:17,966 AND NO FUTURE IN MUSIC 370 00:09:18,033 --> 00:09:18,800 WHATSOEVER. 371 00:09:18,866 --> 00:09:20,333 AND I HAVE SOMEHOW AGED 30 YEARS 372 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,133 SINCE 2018. 373 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,266 A TRULY UNCOMFORTABLE WATCH 374 00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:24,600 FOR MANY REASONS. 375 00:09:24,666 --> 00:09:25,676 BUT NOT LONG AFTER THAT SEGMENT 376 00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:28,100 AIRED, ANGELA PAXTON WAS ELECTED 377 00:09:28,166 --> 00:09:29,300 TO THE TEXAS STATE SENATE. 378 00:09:29,366 --> 00:09:31,033 THERE SHE IS STANDING BEHIND 379 00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:32,333 GOVERNOR ABBOTT THIS WEEK AS 380 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,166 HE SIGNED TEXAS'S ABORTION BILL. 381 00:09:34,233 --> 00:09:35,442 THE POINT IS, YES, THESE PEOPLE 382 00:09:35,466 --> 00:09:36,466 LOOK LIKE CLOWNS. 383 00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:37,600 THEY ARE CLOWNS. 384 00:09:37,666 --> 00:09:39,466 BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER 385 00:09:39,533 --> 00:09:40,466 THAT CLOWNS, WHILE FUNNY, ARE 386 00:09:40,533 --> 00:09:42,966 ALSO FUCKING TERRIFYING. 387 00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:44,533 AND THIS WEEK GAVE US ANOTHER 388 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,300 REMINDER THAT, IF YOU'RE NOT 389 00:09:46,366 --> 00:09:48,300 VERY CAREFUL, YOU CAN WIND UP 390 00:09:48,366 --> 00:09:49,033 WITH A CLOWN CAR FULL OF THEM 391 00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:50,566 MAKING INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT 392 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,000 DECISIONS ABOUT YOUR LIFE. 393 00:09:52,066 --> 00:09:53,066 AND NOW, THIS. 394 00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:59,333 AND NOW... 395 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:00,409 SAN FRANCISCO CITY COUNCIL 396 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,366 MEETINGS PUBLIC COMMENTS ARE A 397 00:10:02,433 --> 00:10:03,000 JOY TO BEHOLD. 398 00:10:03,066 --> 00:10:04,466 NOW IT IS TIME FOR PUBLIC 399 00:10:04,533 --> 00:10:05,000 COMMENT. 400 00:10:05,066 --> 00:10:06,076 ARE THERE ANY MEMBERS OF THE 401 00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:08,600 PUBLIC WHO WOULD LIKE TO ADDRESS 402 00:10:08,666 --> 00:10:10,200 THIS BOARD? 403 00:10:10,266 --> 00:10:12,333 PLEASE, NO, STEP FORWARD. 404 00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:21,133 CHEERIOS. 405 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,900 "GOOD MORNING AMERICA." 406 00:10:22,966 --> 00:10:23,700 "THE VIEW." 407 00:10:23,766 --> 00:10:24,333 WHAT I SEE HERE ARE A NUMBER 408 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:28,366 OF REPRESENTATIVES WHO WORSHIP 409 00:10:28,433 --> 00:10:28,600 LUCIFER. 410 00:10:28,666 --> 00:10:29,866 TOBACCO IS GREAT AT GETTING 411 00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:31,133 BEDBUGS AWAY FROM HER BED. 412 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:36,166 PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE THAT. 413 00:10:40,733 --> 00:10:43,300 FEEL BAD FOR THE DISTRICT, NO 414 00:10:43,366 --> 00:10:43,733 SOUP FOR YOU. 415 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:49,366 HE HAS A DICK. 416 00:10:49,433 --> 00:10:50,433 YOU HAVE A VAGINA. 417 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,766 THANK YOU, SIR. 418 00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:10,166 THANK YOU, MR. PAULSON. 419 00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:14,800 NEXT SPEAKER, PLEASE. 420 00:11:15,533 --> 00:11:16,300 MOVING ON. 421 00:11:16,366 --> 00:11:17,542 OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS 422 00:11:17,566 --> 00:11:18,133 LOCAL NEWS. 423 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:18,933 THE TRUSTED PLACE PEOPLE GO TO 424 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:19,866 FIND TRAFFIC, WEATHER, AND HERE 425 00:11:19,933 --> 00:11:20,942 IN NEW YORK, THE SINGLE GREATEST 426 00:11:20,966 --> 00:11:21,500 10 SECONDS OF TELEVISION THIS 427 00:11:21,566 --> 00:11:22,000 CITY HAS EVER PRODUCED. 428 00:11:22,066 --> 00:11:23,933 AT 11:00, PAYING MORE AT THE 429 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:24,533 GROCER BUT GETTING LESS, WE'LL 430 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:25,133 TELL YOU HOW TO GET THE MOST! 431 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,333 THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? 432 00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:29,966 PERFECT. 433 00:11:30,033 --> 00:11:32,500 ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. 434 00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:33,333 THAT IS SUE SIMMONS, BY THE WAY. 435 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,733 SHE SADLY RETIRED IN 2012, AND 436 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,600 HAS BEEN MISSED EVERY DAY SINCE. 437 00:11:36,666 --> 00:11:38,633 BECAUSE IF ANY CITY NEEDS 438 00:11:38,733 --> 00:11:40,300 A NEWS ANCHOR WITH AN ABILITY 439 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,733 TO SAY "THE FUCK ARE YOU 440 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,166 DOING?," IT IS NEW YORK. 441 00:11:44,233 --> 00:11:46,466 WE'VE TALKED ABOUT LOCAL NEWS 442 00:11:46,533 --> 00:11:47,466 A LOT ON THIS SHOW... 443 00:11:47,533 --> 00:11:48,033 PARTICULARLY, REGARDING JUST 444 00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:48,600 HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO ANY 445 00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:52,266 COMMUNITY. 446 00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:53,533 WE ARE CONSTANTLY FEATURING 447 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:54,200 LOCAL NEWS INVESTIGATIONS 448 00:11:54,266 --> 00:11:54,566 IN OUR STORIES. 449 00:11:54,633 --> 00:11:55,200 AND IT ISN'T JUST IMPORTANT 450 00:11:55,266 --> 00:11:56,500 IN A CIVIC SENSE; IT'S A MAJOR 451 00:11:56,566 --> 00:11:58,433 MONEYMAKER FOR STATIONS. 452 00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,066 NEXSTAR, ONE OF THE BIGGEST 453 00:12:00,133 --> 00:12:01,666 OWNERS OF LOCAL STATIONS, 454 00:12:01,733 --> 00:12:03,133 SAID THEY EARNED NEARLY HALF 455 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,400 THEIR ADVERTISING REVENUE FROM 456 00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:07,900 SPOTS AIRED DURING LOCAL NEWS 457 00:12:07,966 --> 00:12:08,600 PROGRAMMING. 458 00:12:08,666 --> 00:12:11,566 BUT THE NEED TO BOTH INFORM A 459 00:12:11,633 --> 00:12:12,266 COMMUNITY AND MAKE MONEY HAS 460 00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:13,476 ALWAYS BEEN TRICKY TO RECONCILE 461 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:14,933 ...AS YOU CAN TELL FROM THIS 462 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,266 1960s CLIP OF BALTIMORE'S 463 00:12:16,333 --> 00:12:17,266 CHANNEL 11 NEWS. 464 00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:18,933 IN CHICAGO, TODAY, 465 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,076 A WHITE MOB THREW ROCKS AND 466 00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:21,266 BOTTLES AT CIVIL RIGHTS 467 00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:23,033 DEMONSTRATORS. 468 00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:24,566 THAT STORY AFTER THIS MESSAGE 469 00:12:24,633 --> 00:12:26,066 ABOUT MASH'S HAM. 470 00:12:26,133 --> 00:12:27,966 HE'S A LOVER. 471 00:12:28,033 --> 00:12:29,033 NO, NOT THE KIND YOU'RE 472 00:12:29,066 --> 00:12:31,200 THINKING OF. 473 00:12:31,266 --> 00:12:34,000 HE'S A HAM LOVER. 474 00:12:34,066 --> 00:12:35,633 AND ALL HAM LOVERS KNOW THAT 475 00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:37,200 MASH'S HAMS ARE THE BEST YOU 476 00:12:37,266 --> 00:12:38,333 CAN BUY. 477 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,266 OKAY, THAT IS A VERY 478 00:12:40,333 --> 00:12:41,166 AWKWARD TRANSITION TO HAVE TO 479 00:12:41,233 --> 00:12:42,433 MAKE. 480 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:45,033 TO GO FROM TEASING A STORY ABOUT 481 00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:47,633 A RACIST MOB WITH A MASH'S HAM 482 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,000 LOGO ON YOUR DESK, TO A MAN WHO 483 00:12:49,066 --> 00:12:50,966 IS... NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS... 484 00:12:51,033 --> 00:12:52,153 DEFINITELY FUCKING THAT HAM. 485 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,966 WHICH IS ABSURD. 486 00:12:54,033 --> 00:12:54,900 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, 487 00:12:54,966 --> 00:12:56,433 WHEN INSTEAD, YOU COULD BE 488 00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:57,900 FUCKING HONEYSUCKLE WHITE'S 489 00:12:57,966 --> 00:12:58,800 FRESH GROUND TURKEY? 490 00:12:58,866 --> 00:13:01,033 THE ONLY GROUND TURKEY THAT'S 491 00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:03,866 93% LEAN AND 100% FUCKABLE. 492 00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:05,100 GET YOUR FUCK FILL 493 00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:06,866 WITH HONEYSUCKLE. 494 00:13:06,933 --> 00:13:09,300 NOW, CLEARLY, MAINTAINING 495 00:13:09,366 --> 00:13:10,666 JOURNALISTIC INDEPENDENCE 496 00:13:10,733 --> 00:13:11,266 FROM ADVERTISERS IS CRITICALLY 497 00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:12,266 IMPORTANT. 498 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,233 SO IMPORTANT, IN FACT, IT'S 499 00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:14,800 FREQUENTLY REFERRED TO AS THE 500 00:13:14,866 --> 00:13:17,133 "CHURCH-STATE WALL." 501 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,966 AND THE FCC HAS RULES REQUIRING 502 00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:20,966 BROADCAST STATIONS TO ANNOUNCE 503 00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:22,633 WHEN CONTENT HAS BEEN SPONSORED 504 00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,533 OR PAID FOR IN ANY WAY. 505 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,466 UNFORTUNATELY, MANY LOCAL 506 00:13:26,533 --> 00:13:27,709 STATIONS HAVE EITHER COMPLETELY 507 00:13:27,733 --> 00:13:29,166 BROKEN THOSE RULES, OR VIOLATED 508 00:13:29,233 --> 00:13:30,333 THE SPIRIT OF THEM, THROUGH 509 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,133 A PRACTICE KNOWN AS 510 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,200 "SPONSORED CONTENT." 511 00:13:33,266 --> 00:13:34,266 IT'S WHERE ADVERTISING IS 512 00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:35,866 BLENDED DIRECTLY INTO THE 513 00:13:35,933 --> 00:13:37,333 BROADCASTS, AND IT'S BOTH 514 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,600 MORE WIDESPREAD, AND HARDER TO 515 00:13:38,633 --> 00:13:40,166 DETECT, THAN YOU MIGHT REALIZE. 516 00:13:40,233 --> 00:13:42,600 SO TONIGHT, LET'S TALK ABOUT 517 00:13:42,666 --> 00:13:43,800 SPONSORED CONTENT. 518 00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,400 AND LET'S START WITH THE STUFF 519 00:13:45,466 --> 00:13:47,200 THAT SEEMS ESSENTIALLY HARMLESS: 520 00:13:47,266 --> 00:13:48,133 PEOPLE GETTING PAID TO HAWK 521 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,500 PRODUCTS ON TV. 522 00:13:50,566 --> 00:13:51,933 THERE'S AN INDUSTRY OF LIFESTYLE 523 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:55,066 EXPERTS THAT DO THIS. 524 00:13:55,133 --> 00:13:56,209 HERE IS ONE OF THEM EXPLAINING 525 00:13:56,233 --> 00:13:56,700 THE PROCESS TO POTENTIAL 526 00:13:56,766 --> 00:13:57,066 CLIENTS. 527 00:13:57,133 --> 00:13:58,866 BRANDIGRATION IS WHERE A 528 00:13:58,933 --> 00:14:00,266 BRAND, ITS PRODUCT, AND THE 529 00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:01,133 MESSAGING ARE ALL WORKED 530 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,900 TOGETHER WITHIN THE CONTENT OF 531 00:14:02,966 --> 00:14:05,133 A SHOW IN A PRE-PLANNED MANNER. 532 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,200 WITH SO MANY SHOWS OFFERING 533 00:14:07,266 --> 00:14:07,733 INTEGRATED CONTENT, IT CAN 534 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:08,633 BE HARD TO CHOOSE. 535 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:09,966 BUT LET'S START WITH LOCAL, 536 00:14:10,033 --> 00:14:11,266 OKAY? 537 00:14:11,333 --> 00:14:12,966 WE HAVE A METHOD THAT HELPS 538 00:14:13,033 --> 00:14:14,666 ME GET INTERVIEWS IN A SNAP. 539 00:14:14,733 --> 00:14:15,266 HI, MICHELLE! 540 00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:17,500 HEY THERE, JER-BEAR! 541 00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:18,933 HI, MICHELLE! 542 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,800 HEY, GIRL, HOW YOU DOING? 543 00:14:21,866 --> 00:14:22,866 SEE? 544 00:14:22,933 --> 00:14:24,300 IN AN INSTANT, WE HAVE ACCESS 545 00:14:24,366 --> 00:14:25,376 TO SHOWS ACROSS THE NATION 546 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:27,266 THAT ARE READY FOR YOUR 547 00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:27,500 CONTENT. 548 00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:28,233 WOW. 549 00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:29,200 I GOTTA SAY, THAT IS PRETTY 550 00:14:29,266 --> 00:14:30,833 IMPRESSIVE. 551 00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:32,500 THE ONLY PERSON I CAN SUMMON 552 00:14:32,566 --> 00:14:33,333 WITH A SNAP OF MY FINGERS IS 553 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,866 GEORGE CLOONEY. 554 00:14:35,933 --> 00:14:38,466 WATCH. 555 00:14:38,533 --> 00:14:39,100 THERE HE IS. 556 00:14:39,166 --> 00:14:39,533 HELLO? 557 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:40,133 HEY, GEORGE! 558 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:43,300 HOW ARE YOU DOING? 559 00:14:43,366 --> 00:14:44,800 UHHH... 560 00:14:44,866 --> 00:14:48,700 I'M DOING FINE. 561 00:14:48,766 --> 00:14:50,333 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 562 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,466 I'M JUST SHOWING PEOPLE 563 00:14:51,533 --> 00:14:52,333 HOW I CAN SUMMON YOU WITH A 564 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,466 SIMPLE SNAP OF MY FINGERS. 565 00:14:55,533 --> 00:14:56,033 I'M EATING DINNER. 566 00:14:56,100 --> 00:15:01,000 I GAVE YOU THIS POWER TO USE IN 567 00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:01,866 A LIMITED CAPACITY, JOHN. 568 00:15:01,933 --> 00:15:02,433 UNDERSTOOD, GEORGE. 569 00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:03,300 BYE! 570 00:15:03,366 --> 00:15:04,100 BYE. 571 00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:05,166 SEE? 572 00:15:05,233 --> 00:15:06,366 THE SYSTEM WORKS! 573 00:15:06,433 --> 00:15:07,633 BUT THE TRUTH IS, MICHELLE 574 00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:08,600 DIDN'T JUST HAVE THE POWER 575 00:15:08,666 --> 00:15:09,166 TO MAKE PEOPLE APPEAR OUT OF 576 00:15:09,233 --> 00:15:09,533 THIN AIR. 577 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:10,766 SHE ALSO, CRUCIALLY, HAD THE 578 00:15:10,833 --> 00:15:11,733 POWER TO MAKE THEM PLAY ALONG 579 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:12,533 AS SHE HAWKED HORRIFYING 580 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,733 PRODUCTS LIKE THESE. 581 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:16,566 THESE ARE THE NEW FRENCH'S 582 00:15:16,633 --> 00:15:18,600 CRISPY JALAPENOS. 583 00:15:18,666 --> 00:15:19,786 ONE FUN IDEA IS TO USE IT IN 584 00:15:19,833 --> 00:15:22,466 THIS JALAPENO CHEESEBURGER DIP. 585 00:15:22,533 --> 00:15:24,166 THIS IS SERIOUSLY EVERYTHING 586 00:15:24,233 --> 00:15:24,833 YOU LOVE ABOUT A CHEESEBURGER 587 00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:29,466 IN DIP FORM. 588 00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:30,573 TAKE A LOOK, IS THIS THING 589 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:30,933 GORGEOUS OR WHAT? 590 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:31,433 THIS THING HAS JUST HIT 591 00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:31,833 THE PARTY SCENE. 592 00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:32,700 IT'S THE VELVETTA SHELLS AND 593 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:33,533 CHEESE LIFE SIZE LIQUID GOLD 594 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,866 FOUNTAIN. 595 00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:37,500 OKAY, SO, A FEW THINGS I LOVE 596 00:15:37,566 --> 00:15:38,766 ARE DORITOS, MELTED CHEESE 597 00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:40,700 STICKS, AND NACHOS, AND NOW 598 00:15:40,766 --> 00:15:42,009 THERE'S A WAY YOU CAN ENJOY THEM 599 00:15:42,033 --> 00:15:43,233 ALL IN ONE. 600 00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:45,100 THESE ARE DORITOS LOADED. 601 00:15:45,166 --> 00:15:46,166 IT IS A TOTALLY NEW WAY 602 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,233 TO EXPERIENCE DORITOS. 603 00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:48,900 THAT'S A REALLY FUN TWIST 604 00:15:48,966 --> 00:15:49,566 ON A SNACK IDEA. 605 00:15:49,633 --> 00:15:51,200 ISN'T IT? 606 00:15:51,266 --> 00:15:52,666 NO! 607 00:15:52,733 --> 00:15:54,000 NO, IT ISN'T! 608 00:15:54,066 --> 00:15:54,833 NOW THAT PRODUCT HAS SINCE BEEN 609 00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:55,433 DISCONTINUED. 610 00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:56,433 PROBABLY BECAUSE IT LOOKS LESS 611 00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:57,333 LIKE A SNACK, AND MORE LIKE 612 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:58,476 SOMEONE DEEP-FRIED A FIDGET 613 00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,933 SPINNER. 614 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:00,633 AND YOU PROBABLY ASSUMED 615 00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:02,000 MICHELLE WAS GETTING PAID 616 00:16:02,066 --> 00:16:04,100 TO DO THAT. 617 00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:05,600 BUT INTERESTINGLY, THE STATION 618 00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:07,033 WAS ALSO GETTING PAID TO HAVE 619 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,766 HER ON. 620 00:16:08,833 --> 00:16:12,133 AND WHILE THE FCC REQUIRES 621 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:12,700 SPONSORED CONTENT LIKE THAT 622 00:16:12,766 --> 00:16:13,433 TO BE LABELED, IT HAS NO 623 00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:14,900 REQUIREMENTS FOR EXACTLY HOW 624 00:16:14,966 --> 00:16:16,500 OR FOR HOW LONG. 625 00:16:16,566 --> 00:16:18,866 SO FOR INSTANCE, IN THE CASE OF 626 00:16:18,933 --> 00:16:19,666 DORITOS LOADED, THE DISCLOSURE 627 00:16:19,733 --> 00:16:27,233 CAME AT THE VERY END OF THE 628 00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:31,666 SEGMENT FOR JUST TWO SECONDS. 629 00:16:31,733 --> 00:16:32,300 SO SIX SECONDS TOTAL. 630 00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:33,200 WHICH IS, INCIDENTALLY, ABOUT 631 00:16:33,266 --> 00:16:33,966 THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME DORITOS 632 00:16:34,033 --> 00:16:34,833 LOADED STAY IN YOUR BODY BEFORE 633 00:16:34,900 --> 00:16:35,633 BEING FORCIBLY EJECTED FROM 634 00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:36,133 WHATEVER ORIFICE THEY'RE 635 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:37,933 CLOSEST TO. 636 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,966 THIS PRACTICE CAN BE SO 637 00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:40,566 LUCRATIVE THAT MANY BIG CHAINS 638 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,466 HAVE NOW SET UP TEMPLATES FOR 639 00:16:42,533 --> 00:16:47,633 LOCAL SHOWS, BUILT AROUND 640 00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:49,400 SPONSORED CONTENT. 641 00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:50,666 SCRIPPS HAS "MORNING BLEND," 642 00:16:50,733 --> 00:16:51,400 TEGNA HAS "GREAT DAY," NEXSTAR 643 00:16:51,466 --> 00:16:53,566 HAS "DAYTIME," AND SINCLAIR HAS, 644 00:16:53,633 --> 00:16:54,400 I CAN ONLY ASSUME, "THE MUSLIMS 645 00:16:54,466 --> 00:16:57,000 ATTACK AT DAWN." 646 00:16:57,066 --> 00:16:58,700 AND IT'S NOT JUST BRAND EXPERTS 647 00:16:58,766 --> 00:17:00,166 JOINING BY SATELLITE. 648 00:17:00,233 --> 00:17:02,633 SOMETIMES LOCAL BUSINESSES WILL 649 00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:04,200 PAY FOR AN INTERVIEW, WHERE THEY 650 00:17:04,266 --> 00:17:05,533 CAN SCRIPT THE QUESTIONS, AND 651 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:06,100 MAKE SURE THEY'RE PRESENTED 652 00:17:06,166 --> 00:17:07,900 GLOWINGLY. 653 00:17:07,966 --> 00:17:08,300 TAKE JIM HEAFNER. 654 00:17:08,366 --> 00:17:09,533 UNTIL RECENTLY, HE WAS A 655 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:10,676 FINANCIAL ADVISER IN CHARLOTTE, 656 00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,433 NORTH CAROLINA, WHO WAS ON THE 657 00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:14,166 LOCAL SHOW "MORNING BREAK" 658 00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:15,666 ALL THE TIME, AND WAS ALWAYS 659 00:17:15,733 --> 00:17:16,400 INTRODUCED IN VERY POSITIVE 660 00:17:16,466 --> 00:17:22,166 TERMS. 661 00:17:22,233 --> 00:17:23,733 WE HAVE JIM HEAFNER, HE IS A 662 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,133 CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER, THE 663 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,200 PRESIDENT AND CEO OF HEAFNER 664 00:17:27,266 --> 00:17:28,500 FINANCIAL, A BEST-SELLING 665 00:17:28,566 --> 00:17:30,366 AUTHOR, JUST AN ALL-AROUND GREAT 666 00:17:30,433 --> 00:17:30,533 GUY. 667 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:31,133 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING 668 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:31,600 BACK HERE. 669 00:17:31,666 --> 00:17:32,500 YOU'RE A REGULAR HERE. 670 00:17:32,566 --> 00:17:33,166 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING 671 00:17:33,233 --> 00:17:35,900 BACK WITH US. 672 00:17:35,966 --> 00:17:36,466 YOU ARE WELCOME. 673 00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:37,166 WE LIKE WHEN YOU'RE HERE. 674 00:17:37,233 --> 00:17:38,566 WE'RE SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU 675 00:17:38,633 --> 00:17:39,166 BACK BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA HELP 676 00:17:39,233 --> 00:17:39,800 OUR FOLKS GET FINANCIALLY FIT. 677 00:17:39,866 --> 00:17:40,400 WELCOME BACK, MR. HEAFNER! 678 00:17:40,466 --> 00:17:41,000 WE LOVE WHEN YOU ARE HERE WITH 679 00:17:41,066 --> 00:17:41,266 US, SIR. 680 00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:43,266 THIS MAN KNOWS HIS STUFF. 681 00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:44,800 THAT LEVEL OF 682 00:17:44,866 --> 00:17:48,600 ENTHUSIASTIC COSIGNING SEEMS 683 00:17:48,666 --> 00:17:49,300 PRETTY CONVINCING UNTIL YOU 684 00:17:49,366 --> 00:17:50,476 REMIND YOURSELF, THE STATION 685 00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:51,576 WAS BEING PAID TO SAY THOSE 686 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,366 THINGS ABOUT HIM. 687 00:17:52,433 --> 00:17:54,600 IT'S THE REASON NO ONE WHO GETS 688 00:17:54,666 --> 00:17:57,333 A BIRTHDAY CAMEO FROM GARY BUSEY 689 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,200 THINKS, "WOW, GARY BUSEY HOPES 690 00:17:59,266 --> 00:18:00,276 I MAKE IT TO 156 YEARS OLD? 691 00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:02,666 HE MUST BE MY BEST FRIEND." 692 00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:04,500 INSTEAD, THEY THINK, "WOW, CRAIG 693 00:18:04,566 --> 00:18:06,200 JUST WASTED $350 GETTING 694 00:18:06,266 --> 00:18:07,600 GARY BUSEY TO WISH ME 695 00:18:07,666 --> 00:18:09,066 A HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 696 00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:11,000 HE MUST BE MY BEST FRIEND." 697 00:18:11,066 --> 00:18:12,700 AND IT'S WORTH NOTING THAT 698 00:18:12,766 --> 00:18:17,700 HEAFNER AND THE FIRM HE WORKED 699 00:18:17,766 --> 00:18:20,566 NOT ONLY WERE ORDERED TO PLAY 700 00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:21,642 $1 MILLION IN AN ARBITRATION 701 00:18:21,666 --> 00:18:23,000 CASE THAT HE LOST RETIREES' 702 00:18:23,066 --> 00:18:25,966 MONEY COME ABOUT 22 CLAYTON'S 703 00:18:26,033 --> 00:18:26,200 RECENTLY 704 00:18:26,266 --> 00:18:26,766 SEEKING DAMAGES RELATED TO 705 00:18:26,833 --> 00:18:27,033 SUED HIM, 706 00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:27,600 THE LOSS OF $2.7 MILLION OF 707 00:18:27,666 --> 00:18:28,266 THEIR INVESTMENTS, WITH ONE OF 708 00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:29,000 THEM EVEN SAYING HE TRUSTED 709 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,142 HEAFNER BECAUSE HE "BELIEVED 710 00:18:30,166 --> 00:18:31,333 THE LONGEST-RUNNING CHARLOTTE 711 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:32,033 STATION WOULD INVITE ON 712 00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:32,766 TRUSTED EXPERTS." 713 00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:33,966 AND YEAH! 714 00:18:34,033 --> 00:18:35,566 OF COURSE YOU'D BELIEVE THAT! 715 00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:36,333 PEOPLE TRUST THEIR 716 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:42,266 LOCAL STATION! 717 00:18:42,333 --> 00:18:43,100 THAT'S THE POINT HERE! 718 00:18:43,166 --> 00:18:44,500 AND IT DOESN'T STOP AT THESE 719 00:18:44,566 --> 00:18:45,100 LOCAL LIFESTYLE SHOWS... 720 00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,176 COMPANIES HAVE ALSO BOUGHT THEIR 721 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:46,833 WAY DIRECTLY INTO LOCAL NEWS 722 00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:49,033 BROADCASTS. 723 00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:51,666 BACK IN 2017, SINCLAIR FACED 724 00:18:51,733 --> 00:18:53,433 A $13.3 MILLION FINE FROM 725 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,900 THE FCC OVER SEGMENTS PROMOTING 726 00:18:54,966 --> 00:18:56,300 THE HUNTSMAN CANCER INSTITUTE, 727 00:18:56,366 --> 00:18:58,800 WHICH WERE BROADCAST MORE THAN 728 00:18:58,866 --> 00:19:00,333 A THOUSAND TIMES ON LOCAL 729 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,000 SINCLAIR STATIONS WITH NO 730 00:19:02,066 --> 00:19:03,800 INDICATION WHATSOEVER THEY 731 00:19:03,866 --> 00:19:04,866 WERE SPONSORED. 732 00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:06,400 SOME OF THESE SEGMENTS AIRED 733 00:19:06,466 --> 00:19:07,333 DURING THE EVENING NEWS, 734 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,633 AND IN HINDSIGHT, THE TONE OF 735 00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:09,933 THE REPORTS WERE SUSPICIOUSLY 736 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,433 UPBEAT. 737 00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:13,540 THIS COMPLEX MACHINE IS 738 00:19:13,566 --> 00:19:15,933 ERADICATING CANCER WITHOUT 739 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:16,433 THE INVASIVE PROCEDURES. 740 00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:17,300 FOR PATIENTS LIKE JEFF, THIS 741 00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:18,633 IS WELCOME NEWS. 742 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,966 IF YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE 743 00:19:21,033 --> 00:19:22,153 PROSTATE CANCER, THIS IS THE 744 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,233 TIME TO HAVE IT. 745 00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:24,400 IN SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH, 746 00:19:24,466 --> 00:19:29,266 MARK KOBEL REPORTING. 747 00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:30,000 THAT IS A HELL OF A 748 00:19:30,066 --> 00:19:31,233 NO TIME LIKE THE 749 00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:31,866 PRESENT TO HAVE PROSTATE CANCER. 750 00:19:31,933 --> 00:19:32,933 WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? 751 00:19:32,966 --> 00:19:34,766 AND DESPITE HOW HE SIGNED OFF, 752 00:19:34,833 --> 00:19:36,076 IS MARK KOBEL ACTUALLY REPORTING 753 00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:36,600 THERE? 754 00:19:36,666 --> 00:19:37,842 BECAUSE, IN RETROSPECT, IT SEEMS 755 00:19:37,866 --> 00:19:39,366 MORE LIKE MARK KOBEL PARROTING 756 00:19:39,433 --> 00:19:40,633 THE ABSURDLY SUNNY CANCER 757 00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:42,200 PROPAGANDA OF HIS BUSINESS 758 00:19:42,266 --> 00:19:47,300 DADDY'S FAVORITE MONEY FRIEND. 759 00:19:47,366 --> 00:19:48,266 BUT I WILL SAY THIS, AT LEAST 760 00:19:48,333 --> 00:19:48,800 THAT'S AN INSTANCE OF 761 00:19:48,866 --> 00:19:49,733 A BROADCASTER ACTING SO 762 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:50,633 EGREGIOUSLY, THE FCC WAS ABLE 763 00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:52,066 TO TAKE ACTION. 764 00:19:52,133 --> 00:19:54,266 A LOT OF THE TIME, STATIONS ARE 765 00:19:54,333 --> 00:19:56,166 DOING JUST ENOUGH DISCLOSURE 766 00:19:56,233 --> 00:19:57,600 TO STAY THE RIGHT SIDE OF 767 00:19:57,666 --> 00:19:59,366 THE FCC, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN 768 00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:00,233 THEY'RE NOT DOING MASSIVE HARM 769 00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:01,566 TO THEIR CREDIBILITY. 770 00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:04,533 BECAUSE EVEN WHEN A SPONSORSHIP 771 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,633 IS PROPERLY DISCLOSED, I'D ARGUE 772 00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:08,266 THERE ARE CERTAIN BUSINESSES 773 00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:10,000 LOCAL STATIONS SHOULD NOT BE 774 00:20:10,066 --> 00:20:11,333 SELLING THEMSELVES OUT FOR. 775 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:12,233 ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO 776 00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:13,566 MEDICINE. 777 00:20:13,633 --> 00:20:15,533 BECAUSE A SURPRISING NUMBER 778 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:16,366 OF SEGMENTS ON THESE SHOWS ARE 779 00:20:16,433 --> 00:20:18,533 ENTHUSIASTIC, UNCRITICAL 780 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,266 SHOWCASES FOR EXPENSIVE 781 00:20:20,333 --> 00:20:21,533 TREATMENTS OR DEVICES, 782 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:22,333 FEATURING CLAIMS THAT ARE, 783 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,333 TO PUT IT CHARITABLY, 784 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:24,633 MEDICALLY DUBIOUS. 785 00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:26,233 LIKE THIS PRODUCT, 786 00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:27,433 WHICH MADE IT ONTO A REGULAR 787 00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:28,666 MORNING NEWSCAST IN UTAH. 788 00:20:28,733 --> 00:20:30,100 TODAY, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT 789 00:20:30,166 --> 00:20:31,033 A TECHNOLOGY AIMED TO HELP MEN 790 00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:33,033 WITH A SERIOUS ISSUE. 791 00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:35,300 STEPHANIE AND DUSTIN WOLFF, 792 00:20:35,366 --> 00:20:36,666 THE CO-INVENTORS OF THE WORLD'S 793 00:20:36,733 --> 00:20:40,666 FIRST CLINICALLY TESTED HOME USE 794 00:20:40,733 --> 00:20:43,166 SHOCK WAVE DEVICE TO TREAT 795 00:20:43,233 --> 00:20:43,900 ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION. 796 00:20:43,966 --> 00:20:44,400 IT'S CALLED THE ROCKET. 797 00:20:44,466 --> 00:20:45,400 THIS IS THE ROCKET. 798 00:20:45,466 --> 00:20:46,566 SO THE ROCKET WORKS ON THE 799 00:20:46,633 --> 00:20:47,966 PRINCIPLE OF LOW-INTENSITY 800 00:20:48,033 --> 00:20:49,142 SOUND WAVE THERAPY, WHICH HAS 801 00:20:49,166 --> 00:20:50,342 ACTUALLY BEEN AROUND IN EUROPE 802 00:20:50,366 --> 00:20:51,700 FOR ABOUT 25 YEARS. 803 00:20:51,766 --> 00:20:52,900 IT'S VERY EFFECTIVE. 804 00:20:52,966 --> 00:20:54,900 IT'S SAFE. 805 00:20:54,966 --> 00:20:55,833 AND IT'S... THE TECHNOLOGY'S 806 00:20:55,900 --> 00:20:58,266 FDA RECOGNIZED. 807 00:20:58,333 --> 00:21:00,066 OKAY, FIRST, THAT 808 00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:02,333 VIBRATING TAINT MISSILE LOOKS 809 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,300 UTTERLY TERRIFYING. 810 00:21:03,366 --> 00:21:04,166 AND WHILE IT'S SINCE BEEN 811 00:21:04,233 --> 00:21:05,766 REBRANDED FROM "THE ROCKET" TO 812 00:21:05,833 --> 00:21:07,200 "THE PHOENIX," I'M NOT SURE "PUT 813 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:08,600 THIS BIRD THAT DESTROYS ITSELF 814 00:21:08,666 --> 00:21:10,266 IN FIRE NEAR YOUR PENIS" IS MUCH 815 00:21:10,333 --> 00:21:11,733 OF AN UPGRADE. 816 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:12,800 WHAT DOES 817 00:21:12,833 --> 00:21:17,000 "FDA RECOGNIZED" EVEN MEAN? 818 00:21:17,066 --> 00:21:18,566 IT DEFINITELY DOESN'T MEAN IT'S 819 00:21:18,633 --> 00:21:19,066 "FDA CLEARED," MUCH LESS 820 00:21:19,133 --> 00:21:20,966 "APPROVED." 821 00:21:21,033 --> 00:21:23,566 AND THE FDA TOLD US THE PHOENIX 822 00:21:23,633 --> 00:21:24,800 IS "REGISTERED" WITH THEM, 823 00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:26,200 AS A THERAPEUTIC MASSAGER, 824 00:21:26,266 --> 00:21:27,800 THOUGH, NOT AS A DEVICE TO TREAT 825 00:21:27,866 --> 00:21:29,433 ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION. 826 00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:31,300 AND AT THIS POINT, I LEGALLY 827 00:21:31,366 --> 00:21:32,500 HAVE TO TELL YOU, 828 00:21:32,566 --> 00:21:34,066 THE MANUFACTURER OF THE PHOENIX 829 00:21:34,133 --> 00:21:36,833 SAYS THEY MAKE NO EXPLICIT 830 00:21:36,900 --> 00:21:40,166 CLAIMS ABOUT TREATING E.D. 831 00:21:40,233 --> 00:21:41,966 WHICH IS A LITTLE ODD, BECAUSE 832 00:21:42,033 --> 00:21:44,433 THEIR OWN WEBSITE CLAIMS THAT 833 00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:46,766 PHOENIX OFFERS PROVEN TECHNOLOGY 834 00:21:46,833 --> 00:21:47,466 TO MAKE YOUR 835 00:21:47,533 --> 00:21:50,100 PENIS HARDER," WHICH THEY 836 00:21:50,166 --> 00:21:53,333 AND YOU CAN COMPLETE THIS 837 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,300 TREATMENT IN YOUR HOME. 838 00:21:55,366 --> 00:21:55,566 WHICH THEY 839 00:21:55,633 --> 00:21:58,433 PRESUMABLY FEEL JUSTIFIES 840 00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:02,100 ITS PRICE TAG OF HOLY SHIT $879. 841 00:22:02,166 --> 00:22:02,900 BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT HERE. 842 00:22:02,966 --> 00:22:04,009 THE POINT IS, IF YOU'RE GOING TO 843 00:22:04,033 --> 00:22:04,600 ALLOW THAT PRODUCT INTO THE BODY 844 00:22:04,666 --> 00:22:06,200 OF YOUR LOCAL NEWSCAST, 845 00:22:06,266 --> 00:22:07,000 YOU MIGHT WANT TO HAVE SOME VERY 846 00:22:07,066 --> 00:22:07,666 POINTED QUESTIONS READY, AND NOT 847 00:22:07,733 --> 00:22:08,533 END THE SEGMENT LIKE THIS. 848 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:09,609 AND OF COURSE IF YOU WANT TO 849 00:22:09,633 --> 00:22:10,400 FIND MORE INFORMATION, WHERE CAN 850 00:22:10,466 --> 00:22:11,233 THEY FIND IT ONLINE, GUYS? 851 00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:11,633 THEY CAN GO TO 852 00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:12,066 GetMyRocket.com. 853 00:22:12,133 --> 00:22:14,000 THERE YOU GO. 854 00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:15,266 GET THAT HELP YOU NEED FOR 855 00:22:15,333 --> 00:22:16,100 WHATEVER AILMENT YOU'VE GOT 856 00:22:16,166 --> 00:22:16,433 RIGHT HERE. 857 00:22:16,500 --> 00:22:17,800 YEAH! 858 00:22:17,866 --> 00:22:18,700 USE THE ROCKET FOR WHATEVER 859 00:22:18,766 --> 00:22:19,866 AILMENT YOU'VE GOT! 860 00:22:19,933 --> 00:22:22,066 ESPECIALLY IF THAT AILMENT IS 861 00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:26,100 HAVING 879 TOO MANY DOLLARS. 862 00:22:26,166 --> 00:22:28,000 AND THE THING IS, THAT'S FAR 863 00:22:28,066 --> 00:22:28,866 FROM THE ONLY WEIRD MEDICAL 864 00:22:28,933 --> 00:22:30,300 PRODUCT THAT'S BEEN PRESENTED 865 00:22:30,366 --> 00:22:31,409 UNCRITICALLY DURING SPONSORED 866 00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:32,800 SEGMENTS. 867 00:22:32,866 --> 00:22:34,700 DENVER'S MILE-HIGH LIVING 868 00:22:34,766 --> 00:22:35,776 FEATURED A SPA OWNER PROMOTING 869 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,866 THIS EXCITING NEW TREATMENT: 870 00:22:37,933 --> 00:22:39,633 MONA LISA TOUCH IS THE FIRST 871 00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:40,533 FDA-CLEARED LASER TO TREAT 872 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:41,866 THE VAGINA, AND IN DOING SO, 873 00:22:41,933 --> 00:22:42,466 IT TREATS THE SYMPTOMS OF 874 00:22:42,533 --> 00:22:43,800 VAGINAL ATROPHY. 875 00:22:43,866 --> 00:22:44,500 SO THE PROCEDURE ITSELF, 876 00:22:44,566 --> 00:22:45,866 IS IT PAINFUL? 877 00:22:45,933 --> 00:22:47,833 NO. 878 00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:48,466 IT'S... TYPICALLY, WHAT YOU'LL 879 00:22:48,533 --> 00:22:49,866 FEEL ARE MILD VIBRATIONS. 880 00:22:49,933 --> 00:22:50,866 I TEASE, THE NEXT DAY YOU MIGHT 881 00:22:50,933 --> 00:22:52,266 FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE A SUNBURNED 882 00:22:52,333 --> 00:22:54,466 VAGINA, BUT IT'S JUST HEALING. 883 00:22:54,533 --> 00:22:55,433 OH, THAT'S OKAY, THEN. 884 00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:56,700 IT'S JUST YOUR TYPICAL, 885 00:22:56,766 --> 00:22:58,300 EVERYDAY, SUNBURNED VAGINA. 886 00:22:58,366 --> 00:22:59,966 AND ONLY CAUSED BY A LASER. 887 00:23:00,033 --> 00:23:00,633 SO REALLY, JUST YOUR TYPICAL, 888 00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:01,800 EVERYDAY, LASER-ROASTED 889 00:23:01,866 --> 00:23:03,333 GENITALIA. 890 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:04,666 WHICH IS JUST HEALING. 891 00:23:04,733 --> 00:23:05,366 FROM THE LASER YOU DELIBERATELY 892 00:23:05,433 --> 00:23:07,033 BURNED IT WITH. 893 00:23:07,100 --> 00:23:08,000 IT BEING THE INSIDE 894 00:23:08,066 --> 00:23:08,766 OF YOUR VAGINA. 895 00:23:08,833 --> 00:23:09,966 YOUR RUN-OF-THE-MILL 896 00:23:10,033 --> 00:23:12,633 LASER-CHARRED VAGINA. 897 00:23:12,700 --> 00:23:14,400 AND IF USING A LASER AS A 898 00:23:14,466 --> 00:23:16,766 MEDICAL PSEUDO-DILDO SEEMS LIKE 899 00:23:16,833 --> 00:23:17,633 YOU HAVE 900 00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:19,766 GOOD INSTINCTS. 901 00:23:19,833 --> 00:23:22,066 BECAUSE OVER A YEAR BEFORE THAT 902 00:23:22,133 --> 00:23:23,666 SEGMENT AIRED, THE FDA ISSUED A 903 00:23:23,733 --> 00:23:24,633 SAFETY ALERT, MAKING IT CLEAR 904 00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:26,033 THAT THEY HAVE NOT CLEARED OR 905 00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:30,100 APPROVED FOR MARKETING ANY 906 00:23:30,166 --> 00:23:30,700 ENERGY-BASED DEVICES TO TREAT 907 00:23:30,766 --> 00:23:31,926 VAGINAL ATROPHY, AND APPLYING 908 00:23:31,966 --> 00:23:33,166 ENERGY-BASED THERAPIES TO 909 00:23:33,233 --> 00:23:34,309 THE VAGINA MAY LEAD TO VAGINAL 910 00:23:34,333 --> 00:23:35,509 BURNS, SCARRING, AND RECURRING 911 00:23:35,533 --> 00:23:37,566 OR CHRONIC PAIN. 912 00:23:37,633 --> 00:23:39,133 AND THE PROBLEM IS, SEGMENTS 913 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:40,433 WITH DICEY MEDICAL CLAIMS ARE 914 00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:43,033 JUST EVERYWHERE. 915 00:23:43,100 --> 00:23:44,209 RECENTLY, THE FDA HAS WARNED 916 00:23:44,233 --> 00:23:45,433 ABOUT THE USE OF UNAPPROVED 917 00:23:45,500 --> 00:23:46,600 STEM CELL THERAPIES, 918 00:23:46,666 --> 00:23:48,333 WHICH THEY SAY CAN BE HARMFUL. 919 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:49,866 BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THAT 920 00:23:49,933 --> 00:23:52,900 TO WATCH SOME OF THESE SHOWS. 921 00:23:52,966 --> 00:23:54,166 HERE'S A SEGMENT FROM 922 00:23:54,233 --> 00:23:55,533 "GOOD MORNING TEXAS," FEATURING 923 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:56,609 A DOCTOR WHO'S BEEN DISCIPLINED 924 00:23:56,633 --> 00:23:57,733 MULTIPLE TIMES BY THE STATE 925 00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,033 MEDICAL BOARD FOR SEPARATE 926 00:23:59,100 --> 00:24:00,833 ISSUES, CLAIMING HIS STEM CELL 927 00:24:00,900 --> 00:24:02,900 THERAPY CAN TREAT THINGS LIKE 928 00:24:02,966 --> 00:24:04,600 M.S. AND PARKINSON'S, DESPITE 929 00:24:04,666 --> 00:24:08,033 THE FACT THAT STEM CELLS HAVE 930 00:24:08,100 --> 00:24:08,666 NEVER BEEN APPROVED TO TREAT ANY 931 00:24:08,733 --> 00:24:10,133 NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER. 932 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:11,309 AND IT'S NOT JUST HIM... HERE'S 933 00:24:11,333 --> 00:24:13,033 A NATUROPATHIC DOCTOR, MAKING 934 00:24:13,100 --> 00:24:13,733 SIMILARLY BASELESS CLAIMS ON A 935 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,700 STATION IN ARIZONA. 936 00:24:15,766 --> 00:24:16,366 SO, WHAT KIND OF CONDITIONS 937 00:24:16,433 --> 00:24:17,800 ARE YOU TREATING WITH THIS? 938 00:24:17,866 --> 00:24:19,000 SO, WE TREAT SO MANY 939 00:24:19,066 --> 00:24:21,133 DIFFERENT KINDS OF CONDITIONS. 940 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,833 WE CAN DO IT TO JOINTS, 941 00:24:22,900 --> 00:24:24,166 WE'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF 942 00:24:24,233 --> 00:24:26,133 THAT... SYSTEMIC THINGS AS WELL. 943 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,433 INCLUDING, WE'VE HAD A PATIENT 944 00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:28,542 WITH CHRON'S DISEASE RECENTLY. 945 00:24:28,566 --> 00:24:30,300 HAD A PATIENT WITH HEART DISEASE 946 00:24:30,366 --> 00:24:30,800 WHO WAS IN SEVERE HEART 947 00:24:30,866 --> 00:24:31,966 FAILURE. 948 00:24:32,033 --> 00:24:32,966 BOTH OF THEM WITHIN A WEEK OF 949 00:24:33,033 --> 00:24:34,933 GETTING THESE STEM CELLS ARE 950 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,240 JUST FEELING GREAT AND IMPROVED 951 00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:36,733 TO ALMOST NORMAL. 952 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:38,666 WOW! 953 00:24:38,733 --> 00:24:42,533 YEAH, WOW! 954 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:42,900 INDEED! 955 00:24:42,966 --> 00:24:44,042 THAT CARD SUGGESTED HE CAN TREAT 956 00:24:44,066 --> 00:24:46,333 PARKINSONS, ALZHEIMERS, AUTISM, 957 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:47,533 M.S. AND ALS. 958 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:48,766 IT SEEMS THE ONLY THING HIS 959 00:24:48,833 --> 00:24:50,400 STEM CELLS CAN'T DO IS HELP THAT 960 00:24:50,466 --> 00:24:52,300 STATION PROOFREAD THEIR LIST OF 961 00:24:52,366 --> 00:24:53,133 "CONDITIONS CAN STEM CELL 962 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:54,033 THERAPY BENEFIT." 963 00:24:54,100 --> 00:24:54,933 BECAUSE OTHER THAN THAT, 964 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:58,366 GOT YOU THEY COVERED HAVE! 965 00:24:58,433 --> 00:24:59,509 AND LOOK, WHILE THERE IS NO WAY 966 00:24:59,533 --> 00:25:00,400 OF KNOWING EXACTLY HOW MANY 967 00:25:00,466 --> 00:25:01,833 PEOPLE ARE WATCHING THESE SHOWS 968 00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:04,500 AS THEY AIR, THAT'S NOT REALLY 969 00:25:04,566 --> 00:25:06,000 THE POINT, AS THIS MARKETING 970 00:25:06,066 --> 00:25:07,109 EXECUTIVE AT NEXSTAR EXPLAINED 971 00:25:07,133 --> 00:25:08,733 TO POTENTIAL ADVERTISERS. 972 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:10,166 NOW, HERE'S THE DEAL. 973 00:25:10,233 --> 00:25:11,833 MOST PEOPLE THINK, "OKAY, SO I 974 00:25:11,900 --> 00:25:13,400 GO ON THE TV SHOW, I'M ON TV, 975 00:25:13,466 --> 00:25:14,900 GREAT, THIS IS AWESOME, AND IT 976 00:25:14,966 --> 00:25:15,733 AIRS AT 4:00, I GO ON, GREAT, 977 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:17,066 AND PEOPLE SEE ME, OKAY, 978 00:25:17,133 --> 00:25:22,333 SO THIS IS COOL." 979 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:23,800 I'M GONNA TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, 980 00:25:23,866 --> 00:25:25,333 WHEN YOU ACTUALLY GO ON AND DO 981 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,500 THAT, THAT ISN'T EVEN THE CAKE. 982 00:25:27,566 --> 00:25:29,133 THAT'S JUST THE ICING. 983 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,500 YOU KNOW WHAT THE CAKE IS? 984 00:25:32,566 --> 00:25:35,900 THE VIDEO FILE. 985 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:37,376 AT THE END, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A 986 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:38,640 FOUR OR FIVE MINUTE VIDEO FILE. 987 00:25:38,700 --> 00:25:39,233 AND YOU'RE GONNA DO WHAT WITH 988 00:25:39,300 --> 00:25:39,400 IT? 989 00:25:39,466 --> 00:25:42,333 POST IT EVERYWHERE! 990 00:25:43,633 --> 00:25:44,833 WHAT IS THAT MOTION? 991 00:25:44,900 --> 00:25:47,600 THAT IS UNNECESSARILY GROSS. 992 00:25:47,666 --> 00:25:48,466 THIS ISN'T HOW YOU REPRESENT 993 00:25:48,533 --> 00:25:50,266 CAKE AND ICING. 994 00:25:50,333 --> 00:25:51,233 THIS IS HOW YOU BRING A 995 00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:52,666 MASH'S HAM TO ORGASM. 996 00:25:52,733 --> 00:25:54,933 YOU GIVE IT THE OL' WIGGLE AND 997 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:55,533 SQUEEZE, AND THEN A TWIST AND 998 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:56,066 A SNAP. 999 00:25:56,133 --> 00:25:57,200 OH, SHIT! 1000 00:25:57,266 --> 00:25:59,533 WHAT IS IT? 1001 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,166 SORRY, GEORGE. 1002 00:26:03,233 --> 00:26:04,300 I'M SORRY. 1003 00:26:04,366 --> 00:26:04,833 THAT ONE WAS GENUINELY AN 1004 00:26:04,900 --> 00:26:05,233 ACCIDENT. 1005 00:26:05,300 --> 00:26:06,100 I WAS JUST TRYING TO SHOW PEOPLE 1006 00:26:06,166 --> 00:26:06,966 HOW TO BRING A MASH'S HAM TO 1007 00:26:07,033 --> 00:26:07,200 ORGASM. 1008 00:26:07,266 --> 00:26:10,800 THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO IT. 1009 00:26:10,866 --> 00:26:14,533 OH. 1010 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:15,166 I GUESS THAT'S GOOD INFORMATION 1011 00:26:15,233 --> 00:26:15,700 TO HAVE. 1012 00:26:15,766 --> 00:26:16,333 THE POINT IS, THAT MARKETING 1013 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:17,400 EXECUTIVE IS RIGHT. 1014 00:26:17,433 --> 00:26:18,533 THE CAKE IS THE VIDEO FILE, 1015 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:19,400 AND COMPANIES WILL TAKE THAT 1016 00:26:19,466 --> 00:26:20,566 VIDEO AND RUN WITH IT. 1017 00:26:20,633 --> 00:26:21,673 REMEMBER THAT NATUROPATHIC 1018 00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:22,566 DOCTOR WHO CLAIMED STEM CELLS 1019 00:26:22,633 --> 00:26:23,200 ARE A TREATMENT FOR ALZHEIMER'S 1020 00:26:23,266 --> 00:26:25,533 AND AUTISM? 1021 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,300 HERE'S HIS WEBSITE, WHICH 1022 00:26:27,366 --> 00:26:28,576 PROUDLY FEATURES THE MANY TIMES 1023 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,533 HE WAS GIVEN AN UNCRITICAL 1024 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:34,533 PLATFORM ON TRUSTED LOCAL TV. 1025 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:35,100 AND YOU MIGHT THINK VIEWERS 1026 00:26:35,166 --> 00:26:36,166 SHOULD BE SMART ENOUGH TO 1027 00:26:36,233 --> 00:26:37,066 APPROACH ANYTHING ON THESE SHOWS 1028 00:26:37,133 --> 00:26:41,266 WITH SKEPTICISM. 1029 00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:46,766 THE THING IS, THOUGH, MANY OF 1030 00:26:46,833 --> 00:26:47,400 THESE STATIONS ALSO SWAP FIGURES 1031 00:26:47,466 --> 00:26:48,166 FROM THEIR NEWSROOM TO THEIR 1032 00:26:48,233 --> 00:26:49,000 SPONSORED CONTENT SHOWS. 1033 00:26:49,066 --> 00:26:51,200 AT ABC4 UTAH, FOR INSTANCE, 1034 00:26:51,266 --> 00:26:51,700 SURAE CHINN IS BOTH THE 1035 00:26:51,766 --> 00:26:52,200 CHANNEL'S CHIEF MEDICAL 1036 00:26:52,266 --> 00:26:53,342 CORRESPONDENT AND A HOST OF 1037 00:26:53,366 --> 00:26:54,433 THE SPONSORED CONTENT SHOW 1038 00:26:54,500 --> 00:26:56,733 "GOOD THINGS UTAH." 1039 00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:58,000 AND IT REALLY DOES FEEL LIKE A 1040 00:26:58,033 --> 00:27:00,200 LINE IS GETTING BLURRED THERE. 1041 00:27:00,266 --> 00:27:02,433 AND LOOK, IDEALLY, STATIONS 1042 00:27:02,500 --> 00:27:03,576 WOULDN'T ENGAGE IN THIS PRACTICE 1043 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:04,466 AT ALL... OR, AT THE VERY LEAST, 1044 00:27:04,533 --> 00:27:06,166 THEIR DISCLOSURES WOULD BE 1045 00:27:06,233 --> 00:27:07,166 HARDER FOR VIEWERS TO MISS, 1046 00:27:07,233 --> 00:27:08,500 AND THEY'D DO SIGNIFICANTLY 1047 00:27:08,566 --> 00:27:10,166 MORE WORK TO MAKE SURE THAT 1048 00:27:10,233 --> 00:27:12,266 IF THEY'RE LETTING SOMEONE BUY 1049 00:27:12,333 --> 00:27:14,000 THEIR WAY ONTO THEIR CHANNEL, 1050 00:27:14,066 --> 00:27:15,400 AND PRESENT SOMETHING AS REAL, 1051 00:27:15,466 --> 00:27:16,400 THAT IT'S NOT, IN FACT, TOTAL 1052 00:27:16,466 --> 00:27:17,500 NONSENSE. 1053 00:27:17,566 --> 00:27:19,033 BECAUSE RIGHT NOW, IT'S FAR TOO 1054 00:27:19,100 --> 00:27:20,900 EASY TO MAKE A RIDICULOUS 1055 00:27:20,966 --> 00:27:21,800 PRODUCT THAT MAKES OUTLANDISH 1056 00:27:21,866 --> 00:27:23,066 CLAIMS, AND GET IT ONTO 1057 00:27:23,133 --> 00:27:25,066 LOCAL TV. 1058 00:27:25,133 --> 00:27:26,966 AND THE REASON I KNOW THAT IS, 1059 00:27:27,033 --> 00:27:28,300 WE DID. 1060 00:27:28,366 --> 00:27:29,966 WE STARTED A COMPANY CALLED 1061 00:27:30,033 --> 00:27:31,466 VENUS INVENTIONS, AND CREATED 1062 00:27:31,533 --> 00:27:33,666 SOMETHING CALLED THE VENUS VEIL. 1063 00:27:33,733 --> 00:27:35,333 AN ABSURD MEDICAL PRODUCT BASED 1064 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:36,509 ON TECHNOLOGY THAT ABSOLUTELY 1065 00:27:36,533 --> 00:27:39,433 DOES NOT EXIST. 1066 00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:41,266 WE SET UP THIS WEBSITE, AND EVEN 1067 00:27:41,333 --> 00:27:43,233 HIRED AN ACTRESS TO BRANDIGRATE 1068 00:27:43,300 --> 00:27:44,540 THE SHIT OUT OF THE VENUS VEIL, 1069 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:45,133 INTO SHOWS IT HAD NO BUSINESS 1070 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:46,333 BEING ON. 1071 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,166 DID IT WORK? 1072 00:27:49,233 --> 00:27:50,533 I DUNNO... YOU TELL ME, 1073 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:52,966 ABC 4 UTAH! 1074 00:27:53,033 --> 00:27:54,800 I'M SO EXCITED TO TALK WITH 1075 00:27:54,866 --> 00:27:56,666 ERICA HERNANDEZ WITH 1076 00:27:56,733 --> 00:27:59,633 THE VENUS VEIL, A REVOLUTIONARY 1077 00:27:59,700 --> 00:28:00,400 NEW PRODUCT ON THE LINE. 1078 00:28:00,466 --> 00:28:01,466 WHAT EXACTLY IS IT? 1079 00:28:01,533 --> 00:28:03,566 I'M SO INTRIGUED. 1080 00:28:03,633 --> 00:28:04,100 I'M SO GLAD YOU ARE 1081 00:28:04,166 --> 00:28:05,200 INTRIGUED. 1082 00:28:05,266 --> 00:28:07,366 SO THIS IS THE VENUS VEIL. 1083 00:28:07,433 --> 00:28:08,200 IT IS THE WORLD'S FIRST 1084 00:28:08,266 --> 00:28:10,200 SEXUAL HEALTH BLANKET. 1085 00:28:10,266 --> 00:28:12,100 YEP! 1086 00:28:12,166 --> 00:28:14,033 THAT WAS ON ABC 4 LAST FRIDAY. 1087 00:28:14,100 --> 00:28:15,666 AND I'D LOVE TO TELL YOU IT WAS 1088 00:28:15,733 --> 00:28:16,909 DIFFICULT TO GET IT ON, BUT IT 1089 00:28:16,933 --> 00:28:18,800 REALLY WASN'T. 1090 00:28:18,866 --> 00:28:20,333 AND REMEMBER, THAT'S THEIR 1091 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,066 CHIEF MEDICAL CORRESPONDENT. 1092 00:28:22,133 --> 00:28:23,700 AND IT SEEMS STRIKING THAT 1093 00:28:23,766 --> 00:28:25,400 SHE DIDN'T HAVE ANY FOLLOW-UPS 1094 00:28:25,466 --> 00:28:26,366 ON CLAIMS WE MADE ABOUT THE VEIL 1095 00:28:26,433 --> 00:28:27,933 THAT YOU'D HOPE A MEDICAL 1096 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,009 CORRESPONDENT WOULD IMMEDIATELY 1097 00:28:29,033 --> 00:28:31,000 TAKE ISSUE WITH. 1098 00:28:31,066 --> 00:28:32,300 THE VEIL IS BEING DESIGNED 1099 00:28:32,366 --> 00:28:34,333 WITH THE HOPE THAT IT WILL 1100 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,266 PRECISELY DRAW OUT THE NATURAL 1101 00:28:36,333 --> 00:28:39,033 ALKALINE UNDERCURRENTS OF THE 1102 00:28:39,100 --> 00:28:40,376 VAGINA, AND INITIATE A LOW-GRADE 1103 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:41,900 STATE OF WHAT WE CALL 1104 00:28:41,966 --> 00:28:43,933 MICRO-DEATH, WHICH SOUNDS 1105 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,733 INCREDIBLY SCARY, BUT THAT'S 1106 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,133 ACTUALLY JUST RESTARTING THAT 1107 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:48,433 AREA'S NATURAL LIFE CYCLE. 1108 00:28:48,500 --> 00:28:50,266 IT'S USING THIS FIELD OF 1109 00:28:50,333 --> 00:28:52,033 MAGNETO-GENETICS I WAS TALKING 1110 00:28:52,100 --> 00:28:53,500 ABOUT, AND ALSO A TECHNOLOGY 1111 00:28:53,566 --> 00:28:54,900 THAT'S BEEN AROUND FOR A REALLY 1112 00:28:54,966 --> 00:28:56,206 LONG TIME THAT WAS PIONEERED IN 1113 00:28:56,266 --> 00:28:58,500 GERMANY ABOUT 80 YEARS AGO. 1114 00:28:58,566 --> 00:28:59,866 SO THIS IS FULL OF CUTTING-EDGE 1115 00:28:59,933 --> 00:29:00,466 TECHNOLOGY, BUT IT JUST LOOKS 1116 00:29:00,533 --> 00:29:01,800 LIKE A BLANKET. 1117 00:29:01,866 --> 00:29:05,566 YEAH! 1118 00:29:05,633 --> 00:29:06,533 IT DOES. 1119 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:07,600 AND THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS. 1120 00:29:07,633 --> 00:29:08,266 IT IS JUST A BLANKET. 1121 00:29:08,333 --> 00:29:09,133 ALSO, TECHNOLOGY THAT WAS 1122 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:09,666 PIONEERED IN GERMANY ABOUT 1123 00:29:09,733 --> 00:29:10,833 80 YEARS AGO? 1124 00:29:10,900 --> 00:29:12,166 I WOULD HAVE SOME QUESTIONS 1125 00:29:12,233 --> 00:29:13,353 ABOUT THAT PARTICULAR PERIOD 1126 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,900 IN GERMAN HISTORY. 1127 00:29:15,966 --> 00:29:17,133 AND I KNOW THAT LOOKS BAD. 1128 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:18,366 BUT LET'S BE FAIR HERE, 1129 00:29:18,433 --> 00:29:20,600 IT'S JUST AN ISOLATED EXAMPLE. 1130 00:29:20,666 --> 00:29:21,566 THERE WAS NO WAY ANOTHER STATION 1131 00:29:21,633 --> 00:29:22,133 WAS GOING TO FALL FOR THIS. 1132 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:23,133 RIGHT? 1133 00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,966 ABSOLUTELY NO WAY. 1134 00:29:26,033 --> 00:29:28,133 IS THERE, KVUE AUSTIN? 1135 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:29,242 BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE LET US 1136 00:29:29,266 --> 00:29:30,766 PAY TO DIRECTLY FOLLOW YOUR 1137 00:29:30,833 --> 00:29:31,766 10:00 PM LOCAL NEWS THIS 1138 00:29:31,833 --> 00:29:33,333 THURSDAY, WOULD YOU? 1139 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,633 THERE'S NO WAY THAT HAPPENED. 1140 00:29:35,700 --> 00:29:36,433 IT INCLUDES SOME PRETTY 1141 00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:37,533 INTERESTING TECHNOLOGY. 1142 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,033 YES, IT DOES. 1143 00:29:39,100 --> 00:29:40,300 SO THE TEAM BEHIND THE VEIL 1144 00:29:40,366 --> 00:29:41,100 WAS INSPIRED BY THE FIELD OF 1145 00:29:41,166 --> 00:29:42,333 MAGNETO-GENETICS. 1146 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:43,900 BUT BASICALLY, YOUR BLOOD IS 1147 00:29:43,966 --> 00:29:45,366 FULL OF IRON, BUT IT'S DISPERSED 1148 00:29:45,433 --> 00:29:46,833 IN SUCH A WAY IT ISN'T AFFECTED 1149 00:29:46,900 --> 00:29:48,266 BY NORMAL MAGNETS. 1150 00:29:48,333 --> 00:29:49,533 SO THE IDEA BEHIND THE VEIL IS 1151 00:29:49,566 --> 00:29:51,333 WITH THE RIGHT BLEND OF 1152 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:52,633 PROPRIETARY MAGNETIC FIBERS, 1153 00:29:52,700 --> 00:29:54,733 YOU CAN CREATE A SELF-CONTAINED 1154 00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:56,900 MAGNETIC FIELD THAT RESTIMULATES 1155 00:29:56,966 --> 00:29:58,333 BLOOD FLOW AND GETS YOU FEELING 1156 00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,333 LIKE YOUR NORMAL SELF AGAIN. 1157 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:00,766 VERY INTERESTING. 1158 00:30:00,833 --> 00:30:02,133 IS IT? 1159 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,100 IS IT INTERESTING? 1160 00:30:04,166 --> 00:30:05,276 OR IS THAT OBVIOUS BULLSHIT THAT 1161 00:30:05,300 --> 00:30:06,409 DEFINITELY SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN 1162 00:30:06,433 --> 00:30:07,733 ON IN THE SAME HOUR 1163 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:09,233 AS COVERAGE OF THE CEASE-FIRE 1164 00:30:09,300 --> 00:30:10,633 IN THE MIDDLE EAST, 1165 00:30:10,700 --> 00:30:11,500 A SHORTAGE OF LIFEGUARDS IN 1166 00:30:11,566 --> 00:30:12,400 LOCAL PUBLIC POOLS, AND AN 1167 00:30:12,466 --> 00:30:13,466 INVESTIGATIVE PIECE 1168 00:30:13,533 --> 00:30:14,700 ON CRIMINAL JUSTICE AND 1169 00:30:14,766 --> 00:30:15,666 BAIL REFORM? 1170 00:30:15,733 --> 00:30:17,566 ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE 1171 00:30:17,633 --> 00:30:19,133 THE OTHERS, AND IT'S DEFINITELY 1172 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,266 OUR NAZI-ERA FUCK BLANKET. 1173 00:30:21,333 --> 00:30:23,533 BUT SURELY, IF YOU SAW THIS 1174 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:27,600 BLANKET IN PERSON, THEN, 1175 00:30:27,666 --> 00:30:28,033 IN A STUDIO, 1176 00:30:28,100 --> 00:30:29,500 YOU WOULD KNOW NOT TO 1177 00:30:29,566 --> 00:30:31,033 ENTHUSIASTICALLY COSIGN ON 1178 00:30:31,100 --> 00:30:31,666 THE COMPLETELY BASELESS CLAIMS 1179 00:30:31,733 --> 00:30:32,366 BEING MADE RIGHT IN FRONT 1180 00:30:32,433 --> 00:30:33,700 OF YOU. 1181 00:30:33,766 --> 00:30:36,233 YOU'D PROTECT YOUR VIEWERS FROM 1182 00:30:36,300 --> 00:30:37,066 THAT HAPPENING, WOULDN'T YOU, 1183 00:30:37,133 --> 00:30:38,700 DENVER'S "MILE HIGH LIVING?" 1184 00:30:38,766 --> 00:30:41,166 THIS IS MEANT TO TREAT SEXUAL 1185 00:30:41,233 --> 00:30:42,442 CONDITIONS, BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE 1186 00:30:42,466 --> 00:30:44,133 ARE EMBARRASSED TO TALK ABOUT 1187 00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,366 THEIR SEXUAL HEALTH, RIGHT? 1188 00:30:46,433 --> 00:30:47,266 SO IT WAS DESIGNED TO BE 1189 00:30:47,333 --> 00:30:49,600 SOMETHING THAT'S REALLY DISCRETE 1190 00:30:49,666 --> 00:30:52,400 AND ALSO REALLY STYLISH SO YOU 1191 00:30:52,466 --> 00:30:53,133 CAN HAVE IT IN YOUR HOME AND IT 1192 00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:53,766 REALLY... I MEAN, COULD IT LOOK 1193 00:30:53,833 --> 00:30:54,966 LESS LIKE A MEDICAL PRODUCT? 1194 00:30:55,033 --> 00:30:55,533 YEAH, NO, IT DOESN'T LOOK 1195 00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:55,933 LIKE THAT. 1196 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,933 YOU KNOW, AGAIN, IT'S ONE OF 1197 00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:58,533 THOSE THINGS I THINK A LOT OF 1198 00:30:58,600 --> 00:30:59,166 PEOPLE RIGHT NOW ARE LOOKING 1199 00:30:59,233 --> 00:30:59,666 TO ENHANCE THEIR LIVES, 1200 00:30:59,733 --> 00:31:00,533 BUT THEY ALSO DON'T WANT 1201 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:01,466 ANYTHING TOO INVASIVE. 1202 00:31:01,533 --> 00:31:02,866 RIGHT, YEAH. 1203 00:31:02,933 --> 00:31:03,976 SO THIS IS SOMETHING WHERE, 1204 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:04,500 AGAIN, YOU'RE NOT NEEDING A 1205 00:31:04,566 --> 00:31:05,166 PRESCRIPTION OR ANYTHING LIKE 1206 00:31:05,233 --> 00:31:05,700 THAT AS WELL. 1207 00:31:05,766 --> 00:31:06,766 YES. 1208 00:31:06,833 --> 00:31:07,566 WELL, THANK YOU, ERICA. 1209 00:31:07,633 --> 00:31:08,200 THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMING IN 1210 00:31:08,266 --> 00:31:08,533 TODAY. 1211 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:09,400 WE APPRECIATE IT. 1212 00:31:09,466 --> 00:31:10,200 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING 1213 00:31:10,266 --> 00:31:10,600 ME. 1214 00:31:10,666 --> 00:31:11,200 THANKS FOR MAKING IT SO EASY. 1215 00:31:11,266 --> 00:31:12,100 THIS WAS GREAT. 1216 00:31:12,166 --> 00:31:12,600 YEAH, SUPER EASY. 1217 00:31:12,666 --> 00:31:13,300 YEAH! 1218 00:31:13,366 --> 00:31:14,700 SUPER EASY! 1219 00:31:14,766 --> 00:31:16,266 YOU COULD EVEN ARGUE 1220 00:31:16,333 --> 00:31:18,066 "WAY TOO EASY." 1221 00:31:18,133 --> 00:31:19,633 BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS, NONE OF 1222 00:31:19,700 --> 00:31:20,742 THIS WAS NEARLY DIFFICULT ENOUGH 1223 00:31:20,766 --> 00:31:22,266 TO GET ONTO TV. 1224 00:31:22,333 --> 00:31:26,333 AND IT WASN'T EVEN EXPENSIVE. 1225 00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,366 THAT COST JUST $2800. 1226 00:31:28,433 --> 00:31:30,966 THIS ONE COST $2650. 1227 00:31:31,033 --> 00:31:32,766 AND THIS ONE ONLY COST $1750. 1228 00:31:32,833 --> 00:31:34,500 IT WAS ALL SHOCKINGLY 1229 00:31:34,566 --> 00:31:35,800 AFFORDABLE, AND SADLY, ON SOME 1230 00:31:35,866 --> 00:31:36,876 STATIONS, DIDN'T EVEN LOOK THAT 1231 00:31:36,900 --> 00:31:40,533 OUT OF PLACE. 1232 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:41,533 AND THAT IS NOT GOOD. 1233 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:43,666 BECAUSE, AS WE'VE SAID FOR 1234 00:31:43,733 --> 00:31:44,466 YEARS NOW, THE INTEGRITY OF 1235 00:31:44,533 --> 00:31:45,566 LOCAL NEWS IS CRUCIALLY 1236 00:31:45,633 --> 00:31:48,466 IMPORTANT. 1237 00:31:48,533 --> 00:31:49,200 AND THERE IS REAL HARM FOR 1238 00:31:49,266 --> 00:31:50,100 EVERYONE IF THAT INTEGRITY 1239 00:31:50,166 --> 00:31:51,400 IS DAMAGED. 1240 00:31:51,466 --> 00:31:53,000 SO TO THE OWNERS OF THESE 1241 00:31:53,066 --> 00:31:55,466 STATIONS WHO ARE SELLING THEM 1242 00:31:55,533 --> 00:31:56,400 OUT AT A DEPRESSINGLY CHEAP 1243 00:31:56,466 --> 00:31:58,766 PRICE, I HAVE A SIMPLE QUESTION. 1244 00:31:58,833 --> 00:31:59,433 IF I MAY QUOTE THE WORDS OF A 1245 00:31:59,500 --> 00:32:00,666 VERY WISE NEWS ANCHOR: 1246 00:32:00,733 --> 00:32:03,066 THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? 1247 00:32:03,133 --> 00:32:04,333 THAT'S OUR SHOW. 1248 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,500 THANKS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING. 1249 00:32:06,566 --> 00:32:08,533 IF YOU WANT TO SEE OUR VENUS 1250 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,233 VEIL SEGMENTS IN FULL... THE 1251 00:32:10,300 --> 00:32:10,966 WHOLE CAKE, IF YOU WILL... YOU 1252 00:32:11,033 --> 00:32:11,866 CAN GO TO Venuslnventions.com. 1253 00:32:11,933 --> 00:32:15,166 GOOD NIGHT! 1254 00:32:15,233 --> 00:32:17,400 ARE THERE ANY SIDE EFFECTS OF 1255 00:32:17,466 --> 00:32:17,900 THIS AT ALL? 1256 00:32:17,966 --> 00:32:19,766 YOU MIGHT FEEL A LITTLE BIT 1257 00:32:19,833 --> 00:32:20,733 OF TINGLING BUT WE LIKEN IT TO 1258 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:22,033 WHAT YOU MIGHT FEEL IF YOU ARE 1259 00:32:22,100 --> 00:32:24,900 STANDING OVER A REALLY LOUD 1260 00:32:24,966 --> 00:32:25,966 SEVERAL OF HAVE A TIGHT 1261 00:32:25,990 --> 00:32:27,990 >>>>oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org