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HI THERE.
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WELCOME TO THE SHOW,
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STILL COMING TO YOU FROM
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THIS BLANK VOID.
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WHICH HAS STARTED TO FEEL A BIT
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LIKE HOME.
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AND TO BE HONEST, IT IS PRETTY
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SIMILAR TO ENGLAND IN THAT
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IT'S FRUSTRATINGLY WHITE,
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IMMEDIATELY DEPRESSING,
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AND I WANT TO GET OUT OF IT
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AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.
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LOOK, IT'S BEEN ANOTHER BUSY
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WEEK.
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CHER TURNED 75, THE HOUSE VOTED
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TO CREATE AN INDEPENDENT
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NO
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COMMISSION TO INVESTIGATE
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THE CAPITOL ASSAULT, AND
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THE SUPREME COURT DID THIS:
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THE SUPREME COURT SAYS IT
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WILL TAKE UP THE MOST DIRECT
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CHALLENGE TO ROE VS. WADE
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IN A GENERATION THIS FALL.
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NO
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AT ISSUE, A MISSISSIPPI LAW
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THAT WOULD BAN ALMOST ALL
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NO
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ABORTIONS AFTER 15 WEEKS OF
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PREGNANCY.
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IT'S SIMILAR TO BANS RECENTLY
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PASSED IN OTHER CONSERVATIVE
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LEANING STATES, ALL DESIGNED
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TO GET THE NEWLY CONSERVATIVE
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SUPREME COURT TO CONFRONT
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NO
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ROE VS. WADE HEAD ON.
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YUP!
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THE THING CONSERVATIVES HAVE
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BEEN TRYING TO DO FOR DECADES
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NOW IS FINALLY HAPPENING.
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ROLLING BACK ABORTION RIGHTS
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IS PRETTY MUCH THE REASON
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THE COUNTRY HAD TO WATCH
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A HUMAN BEER BONG SCREAM AND
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CRY DURING A JOB INTERVIEW,
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THE REASON EVERYONE FREAKED OUT
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WHEN AN 87-YEAR-OLD WOMAN DIED,
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AND THE REASON WHY THE PRESIDENT
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AND HALF HIS INNER CIRCLE ALL
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GOT COVID IN THE ROSE GARDEN...
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WASN'T THAT A FUN COUPLE OF
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DAYS?
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ALL OF THAT WAS BUILDING UP TO
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THIS DEPRESSINGLY SIGNIFICANT
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MOMENT.
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AND STATES HAVE BEEN PUSHING
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THE ENVELOPE HARD WHEN IT COMES
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TO LIMITING ABORTION.
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WITH THE LATEST ATTEMPT COMING
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JUST THIS WEEK IN TEXAS.
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TEXAS HAS JUST ADOPTED
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ONE OF THE MOST RESTRICTIVE
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ANTI-ABORTION LAWS IN THE
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NATION.
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REPUBLICAN GOVERNOR GREG ABBOTT
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SIGNED THE BILL YESTERDAY.
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IT BANS THE PROCEDURE AS EARLY
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AS SIX WEEKS INTO A PREGNANCY,
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BEFORE MANY WOMEN EVEN KNOW
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THEY'RE PREGNANT.
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WELL, THAT'S
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INFURIATING.
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AND MADE SOMEHOW EVEN WORSE
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BY THE FACT THEY SEEMED TO CRAM
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THE FEW WOMEN IN THE ROOM RIGHT
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BEHIND ABBOTT AND THEN LET WHAT
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CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS A
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JOSEPH A. BANK OF MEN FILL IN
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EVERYWHERE ELSE.
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YOU USUALLY DON'T SEE THAT MANY
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MEN IN SUITS LINED UP TO
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DISAPPOINT WOMEN UNLESS
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IT'S THE FIRST NIGHT OF
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"THE BACHELORETTE."
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AND FOR MANY BEHIND THAT BILL,
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INCLUDING ONE OF ITS SPONSORS,
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STATE SENATOR
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CHARLES SCHWERTNER,
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RESTRICTING ACCESS TO ABORTION
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HAS LONG BEEN A PRIORITY.
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IN 2017, HE SILENCED A WITNESS
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TESTIFYING AGAINST AN EARLIER
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ANTI-ABORTION BILL SO HARD,
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HIS GAVEL BROKE THE GLASS
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TABLETOP OF HIS DESK.
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TAKE A LOOK.
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SB415 INSERTS ITSELF INTO THE
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EXAM ROOM BY PUTTING PHYSICIANS
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IN THE UNCONSCIONABLE POSITION
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OF HAVING TO DENY A WOMAN THE
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EVIDENCE-BASED COMPASSIONATE
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CARE THAT RESULTS IN THE FEWEST
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COMPLICATIONS.
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I WANT TO REMIND YOU ALL...
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MS. HENNESSY...
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ESPECIALLY THE DOCTORS ON
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THIS COMMITTEE, THAT A VOTE FOR
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THIS BILL PUTS WOMEN'S LIVES...
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THANK YOU,
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MS. HENNESSY...
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ON THE LINE.
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YOUR TIME IS DONE...
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I URGE YOU TO STOP PLAYING
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WITH REPRODUCTIVE HEALTHCARE
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AS IF IT'S YOUR OWN POLITICAL
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PUPPET.
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THANK YOU.
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THANK YOU.
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YOUR TIME IS DONE.
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WOW.
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YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.
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WOMEN ARE TOO EMOTIONAL TO MAKE
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DECISIONS ABOUT THEIR OWN BODIES
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...BEST LEAVE IT TO A
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LEVEL-HEADED, REASONABLE MAN WHO
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HULKS OUT ON HIS DESK AT WORK.
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BECAUSE JUST LOOK AT WHAT THAT
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FUCKING GAVEL DID.
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IN EVERY WAY, THAT IS THE EXACT
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OPPOSITE OF WHAT IS MEANT BY
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"BREAKING THE GLASS CEILING."
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AND THERE WILL CLEARLY BE MUCH
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MORE TO SAY ON THIS STORY AS IT
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UNFOLDS, BUT FOR NOW, LET'S TRY
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AND TAKE A LOOK AT NEWS THAT
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ISN'T ACTIVELY DEPRESSING.
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AND HERE'S ONE... IN
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PHILADELPHIA, LARRY KRASNER,
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THE REFORM D.A., WON A HOTLY
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CONTESTED PRIMARY AND KRASNER'S
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VICTORY WAS BY NO MEANS ASSURED
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...THE POLICE UNION BACKED
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HIS OPPONENT IN THE PRIMARY,
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AND HE'S COME UNDER ATTACK
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FOR BOLD REFORMS LIKE VOWING TO
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NEVER PURSUE A DEATH SENTENCE,
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REDUCE THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE
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SENT TO PRISON BY SEEKING
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ALTERNATIVES TO INCARCERATION,
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AND TO STOP ILLEGAL
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STOP-AND-FRISK,
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REFORM CASH BAIL, AND END THE
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ABUSE OF CIVIL ASSET FORFEITURE.
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WHICH IS A STRIKING SET OF
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PROMISES, ESPECIALLY COMING FROM
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A GUY WHOSE FACE-SWEATER COMBO
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WHISPERS, "I'VE GOT AUDIOBOOKS
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ON VINYL."
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NOW, KRASNER STILL HAS TO FACE
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A REPUBLICAN IN THE GENERAL
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ELECTION.
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SPECIFICALLY, THIS MAN,
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CHARLES PERUTO.
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WHO IS A LOT.
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HIS PLATFORM IS THE ANTITHESIS
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OF KRASNER'S.
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AND HE'S SAID, "MY FIRST LINE OF
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BUSINESS IS TO MEET WITH EVERY
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POLICE CAPTAIN.
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I WANT TO HAVE MY WIFE COOK THEM
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DINNER," WHILE ALSO RELEASING
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THIS VIDEO ON HIS WEBSITE:
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I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN
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WEST PHILADELPHIA,
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64TH AND JEFFERSON.
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I WAS BORN IN
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A MIXED NEIGHBORHOOD.
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I LOVED IT.
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IRONICALLY ENOUGH, THE KID
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I HUNG OUT WITH EVERY DAY WAS
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MICHAEL JACKSON.
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HE DIDN'T SING BUT HE PLAYED
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HOOPS.
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I UNDERSTAND BLACK PEOPLE JUST
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ABOUT AS WELL AS A BLACK PERSON,
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NOT GONNA SAY... I'M NOT GONNA
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SAY EQUAL, BUT PRETTY GOOD.
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OKAY.
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THAT GUY, SITTING IN THAT
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OFFICE, SAYING HE UNDERSTANDS
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BLACK PEOPLE AS WELL AS ANY
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BLACK PERSON ISN'T GREAT.
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EVEN IF HE DOES SLIGHTLY WALK IT
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BACK BY SAYING, "I'M NOT GONNA
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SAY EQUAL, BUT PRETTY GOOD"...
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A LEVEL OF NUANCE NOT SEEN SINCE
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PLESSY VS. FERGUSON.
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THE WHOLE VIDEO IS 35 MINUTES
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LONG, AND SHOT IN A SINGLE TAKE,
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WITH REAL "NO ONE IN MY FAMILY
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WANTS TO LISTEN TO ME ANYMORE
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SO THEY SHOWED ME HOW TO USE A
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WEBCAM" ENERGY.
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AND LOOK, PERUTO IS UNLIKELY TO
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WIN.
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BUT HE DOES SPEAK TO THE
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POST-TRUMP TREND WHERE EXTREME
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CARTOONISHNESS ISN'T A
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DEAL BREAKER FOR CANDIDATES...
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IT'S A SELLING POINT.
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TAKE MISSOURI'S MARK McCLOSKEY,
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WHO YOU MIGHT REMEMBER
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AS THE MAN WHO POINTED A GUN
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AT BLACK LIVES MATTER PROTESTERS
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WHILE SOMEHOW MAKING
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A POLO SHIRT SLUTTY.
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WELL, THIS WEEK, HE DECLARED
219
00:05:27,966 --> 00:05:29,126
HIS CANDIDACY FOR SENATE WITH
220
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WHEN THE ANGRY MOB CAME TO
221
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DESTROY MY HOUSE AND KILL MY
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FAMILY, I TOOK A STAND AGAINST
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THEM.
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NOW I'M ASKING FOR THE PRIVILEGE
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TO TAKE THAT STAND FOR ALL OF
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US.
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I WILL NEVER BACK DOWN.
228
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OKAY.
229
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SETTING ASIDE THE FACT
230
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McCLOSKEY LOOKS LIKE WHAT YOU'D
231
00:05:49,633 --> 00:05:50,800
GET IF SEAN HANNITY FUCKED
232
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A PACKING PEANUT... "WHEN THE
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MOB CAME TO DESTROY MY HOUSE AND
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MY FAMILY?"
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GET OVER YOURSELF!
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THOSE WERE PROTESTERS WALKING
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PAST YOUR YARD ON THEIR WAY TO
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THE MAYOR'S HOUSE.
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NO ONE CARED ABOUT YOU UNTIL
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YOU STARTED WAVING GUNS
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IN THEIR FACE.
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IF THERE ARE
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NATIONWIDE PROTESTS AGAINST
244
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RACISM AND YOUR FIRST RESPONSE
245
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IS "THEY'RE COMING FOR ME!"
246
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MAYBE THINK ABOUT WHAT THAT SAYS
247
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ABOUT YOU.
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AND I'D SAY McCLOSKEY'S WAS
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THE MOST RIDICULOUS CAMPAIGN
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ANNOUNCEMENT THIS WEEK,
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WERE IT NOT FOR THE FACT THAT
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00:06:17,666 --> 00:06:19,133
ANDREW GIULIANI... SON OF RUDY
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...IS NOW RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR
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OF NEW YORK.
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AND EVEN FOX NEWS POINTED OUT,
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HE'S DOING SO ON THE THINNEST
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POSSIBLE RESUME.
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ONE OF THE THINGS THAT'S
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BEING ASKED ABOUT YOU IS IF
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YOU HAVE THE EXPERIENCE
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TO TAKE ON THE JOB OF GOVERNOR.
262
00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:34,033
YOU WORKED AT THE TRUMP
263
00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:35,833
WHITE HOUSE FOR FOUR YEARS,
264
00:06:35,900 --> 00:06:36,433
AND WERE A PROFESSIONAL GOLFER
265
00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:37,600
BEFORE THAT.
266
00:06:37,666 --> 00:06:39,366
THE TRUTH IS, MARTHA, FROM AN
267
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:40,900
EXPERIENCE PERSPECTIVE, I MAY BE
268
00:06:40,966 --> 00:06:42,533
35 YEARS OLD, BUT YOU GOTTA
269
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:43,500
REMEMBER, I SPENT 32 YEARS...
270
00:06:43,566 --> 00:06:45,066
PARTS OF 32 YEARS... IN POLITICS
271
00:06:45,133 --> 00:06:47,800
AND IN GOVERNMENT.
272
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:51,100
I'M THE ONLY ANNOUNCED CANDIDATE
273
00:06:51,166 --> 00:06:52,342
THAT ACTUALLY HAS SPENT PARTS OF
274
00:06:52,366 --> 00:06:54,566
FIVE DECADES IN POLITICS.
275
00:06:54,633 --> 00:06:55,700
SO I MAY LOOK YOUNG, BUT I
276
00:06:55,766 --> 00:06:57,000
CERTAINLY FEEL A LOT OLDER.
277
00:06:57,066 --> 00:06:58,666
OKAY.
278
00:06:58,733 --> 00:07:00,033
THERE IS A LOT TO TAKE APART AND
279
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:01,500
PUT BACK TOGETHER THERE.
280
00:07:01,566 --> 00:07:02,766
ONE... DO YOU THINK YOU
281
00:07:02,833 --> 00:07:04,600
LOOK YOUNG?
282
00:07:04,666 --> 00:07:06,666
BECAUSE IF I HAD TO GUESS
283
00:07:06,733 --> 00:07:07,466
YOUR AGE, I'D PUT YOU SOMEWHERE
284
00:07:07,533 --> 00:07:09,466
BETWEEN "UNHEALTHY 45" AND
285
00:07:09,533 --> 00:07:11,033
"LYING ABOUT AN EARLY RETIREMENT
286
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:12,176
TO AVOID A SEXUAL HARASSMENT
287
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:13,766
SETTLEMENT BECOMING PUBLIC."
288
00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:15,533
ALSO, WHY WOULD YOU CLAIM TO
289
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:16,166
HAVE BEEN IN POLITICS SINCE YOU
290
00:07:16,233 --> 00:07:17,700
WERE THREE YEARS OLD?
291
00:07:17,766 --> 00:07:19,066
UNLESS YOU'RE COUNTING BEING
292
00:07:19,133 --> 00:07:21,166
VIOLENTLY HELD BY YOUR FATHER
293
00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:22,933
DURING HIS FAILED 1989 MAYORAL
294
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:23,866
CAMPAIGN WHILE DRESSED AS
295
00:07:23,933 --> 00:07:28,133
BUSINESS CHUCKY.
296
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:28,933
ARE YOU COUNTING THAT?
297
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,233
AND EVEN CALLING GIULIANI
298
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:31,000
A "PROFESSIONAL GOLFER" NEEDS
299
00:07:31,066 --> 00:07:31,833
MORE CONTEXT, BECAUSE HIS CAREER
300
00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:33,533
HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE BEING KICKED
301
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:34,800
OFF THE DUKE GOLF TEAM FOR BAD
302
00:07:34,866 --> 00:07:36,433
BEHAVIOR LIKE ALLEGEDLY THROWING
303
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:40,600
AN APPLE INTO ANOTHER PLAYER'S
304
00:07:40,666 --> 00:07:42,733
FACE SO HARD, THE APPLE
305
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:43,700
EXPLODED, AND THEN APPEARING ON
306
00:07:43,766 --> 00:07:46,700
A GOLF-THEMED REALITY
307
00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:49,366
COMPETITION CALLED "THE BIG
308
00:07:49,433 --> 00:07:50,200
BREAK," WHERE HE WAS CLEARLY
309
00:07:50,266 --> 00:07:50,500
TYPECAST AS
310
00:07:50,566 --> 00:07:51,466
"THE ANNOYING ONE."
311
00:07:51,533 --> 00:07:52,133
ANDREW GIULIANI, HE'S TALKY.
312
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:52,833
THAT'S ALL HE DOES.
313
00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:53,942
I MEAN, HE JUST... YOU KNOW,
314
00:07:53,966 --> 00:07:54,766
KIND OF TALKING EVERYONE UP,
315
00:07:54,833 --> 00:07:55,333
AND YOU KNOW, BEING ANDREW
316
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:55,933
PRETTY MUCH.
317
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:56,566
I KNOW HE WAS TALKING A LOT.
318
00:07:56,633 --> 00:07:57,266
NICE BALL THERE.
319
00:07:57,333 --> 00:07:57,833
DID THAT HIT THE TREE?
320
00:07:57,900 --> 00:07:59,266
DID THAT HIT THE TREE?
321
00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:00,433
THAT'S IMPRESSIVE.
322
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:01,433
I KNOW A FEW GUYS WERE
323
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:02,700
GETTING IRRITATED, INCLUDING
324
00:08:02,766 --> 00:08:03,566
MYSELF.
325
00:08:03,633 --> 00:08:04,266
THAT'S A TREE!
326
00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:05,666
YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT'S NOT
327
00:08:05,733 --> 00:08:06,100
A TREE RIGHT THERE?
328
00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:06,733
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
329
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:07,933
THAT'S TOTALLY A TREE.
330
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,900
I MEAN, HE WOULD TALK TO
331
00:08:09,966 --> 00:08:11,233
THIS... TO THIS... TO THIS DOOR
332
00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:13,366
IF IT HAD EARS.
333
00:08:13,433 --> 00:08:15,133
HE KNOWS HE TALKS TOO MUCH,
334
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:16,733
AND WE ALL TELL HIM HE DOES BUT,
335
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:17,666
IT ALMOST MAKES HIM... I FEEL
336
00:08:17,733 --> 00:08:19,566
LIKE HE WANTS TO TALK MORE.
337
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:20,466
ANDREW GIULIANI IS A
338
00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:21,933
NIGHTMARE.
339
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,100
IMAGINE BEING THE WORST PERSON
340
00:08:24,166 --> 00:08:26,133
ON A GOLF REALITY SHOW.
341
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:27,833
AND IT'S HARD TO IMAGINE
342
00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:29,333
GIULIANI WINNING THE SUPPORT OF
343
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,900
THE ENTIRE STATE OF NEW YORK
344
00:08:30,966 --> 00:08:32,366
WHEN IT SEEMS HE CAN'T EVEN
345
00:08:32,433 --> 00:08:33,642
WIN THE SUPPORT OF ALL OF THESE
346
00:08:33,666 --> 00:08:35,033
FUTURE ABSENTEE FATHERS.
347
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,333
IN OTHER WORDS, HIS BASE.
348
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,166
AND YES, ANDREW GIULIANI'S
349
00:08:39,233 --> 00:08:39,466
RIDICULOUS.
350
00:08:39,533 --> 00:08:40,333
ALL THESE CANDIDATES ARE
351
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,166
RIDICULOUS.
352
00:08:42,233 --> 00:08:43,242
BUT IF THE LAST FEW YEARS HAVE
353
00:08:43,266 --> 00:08:44,000
TAUGHT US ANYTHING, IT'S THAT
354
00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:44,633
RIDICULOUS PEOPLE CAN END UP
355
00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:46,100
GETTING ELECTED.
356
00:08:46,166 --> 00:08:48,166
JUST THREE YEARS AGO, WE DID A
357
00:08:48,233 --> 00:08:50,500
PIECE ON STATE ATTORNEYS GENERAL
358
00:08:50,566 --> 00:08:52,000
...AND IN IT, WE HIGHLIGHTED
359
00:08:52,066 --> 00:08:52,566
ANGELA PAXTON, THE WIFE OF
360
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:53,633
TEXAS'S A.G.
361
00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:55,833
JUST LISTEN TO HIS
362
00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:57,133
WIFE, PROUDLY DESCRIBING
363
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,700
PAXTON'S LOVE FOR LAWSUITS
364
00:08:58,766 --> 00:09:00,466
IN WHAT APPARENTLY I LEGALLY
365
00:09:00,533 --> 00:09:01,900
HAVE TO CALL "A SONG."
366
00:09:10,433 --> 00:09:12,266
A FEW THINGS YOU CAN
367
00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:13,400
THAT WOMAN
368
00:09:13,466 --> 00:09:15,700
HAS A GUN, A LITIGIOUS HUSBAND,
369
00:09:15,766 --> 00:09:17,966
AND NO FUTURE IN MUSIC
370
00:09:18,033 --> 00:09:18,800
WHATSOEVER.
371
00:09:18,866 --> 00:09:20,333
AND I HAVE SOMEHOW AGED 30 YEARS
372
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,133
SINCE 2018.
373
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,266
A TRULY UNCOMFORTABLE WATCH
374
00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:24,600
FOR MANY REASONS.
375
00:09:24,666 --> 00:09:25,676
BUT NOT LONG AFTER THAT SEGMENT
376
00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:28,100
AIRED, ANGELA PAXTON WAS ELECTED
377
00:09:28,166 --> 00:09:29,300
TO THE TEXAS STATE SENATE.
378
00:09:29,366 --> 00:09:31,033
THERE SHE IS STANDING BEHIND
379
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:32,333
GOVERNOR ABBOTT THIS WEEK AS
380
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,166
HE SIGNED TEXAS'S ABORTION BILL.
381
00:09:34,233 --> 00:09:35,442
THE POINT IS, YES, THESE PEOPLE
382
00:09:35,466 --> 00:09:36,466
LOOK LIKE CLOWNS.
383
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:37,600
THEY ARE CLOWNS.
384
00:09:37,666 --> 00:09:39,466
BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER
385
00:09:39,533 --> 00:09:40,466
THAT CLOWNS, WHILE FUNNY, ARE
386
00:09:40,533 --> 00:09:42,966
ALSO FUCKING TERRIFYING.
387
00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:44,533
AND THIS WEEK GAVE US ANOTHER
388
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,300
REMINDER THAT, IF YOU'RE NOT
389
00:09:46,366 --> 00:09:48,300
VERY CAREFUL, YOU CAN WIND UP
390
00:09:48,366 --> 00:09:49,033
WITH A CLOWN CAR FULL OF THEM
391
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:50,566
MAKING INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT
392
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,000
DECISIONS ABOUT YOUR LIFE.
393
00:09:52,066 --> 00:09:53,066
AND NOW, THIS.
394
00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:59,333
AND NOW...
395
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:00,409
SAN FRANCISCO CITY COUNCIL
396
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,366
MEETINGS PUBLIC COMMENTS ARE A
397
00:10:02,433 --> 00:10:03,000
JOY TO BEHOLD.
398
00:10:03,066 --> 00:10:04,466
NOW IT IS TIME FOR PUBLIC
399
00:10:04,533 --> 00:10:05,000
COMMENT.
400
00:10:05,066 --> 00:10:06,076
ARE THERE ANY MEMBERS OF THE
401
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:08,600
PUBLIC WHO WOULD LIKE TO ADDRESS
402
00:10:08,666 --> 00:10:10,200
THIS BOARD?
403
00:10:10,266 --> 00:10:12,333
PLEASE, NO, STEP FORWARD.
404
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:21,133
CHEERIOS.
405
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,900
"GOOD MORNING AMERICA."
406
00:10:22,966 --> 00:10:23,700
"THE VIEW."
407
00:10:23,766 --> 00:10:24,333
WHAT I SEE HERE ARE A NUMBER
408
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:28,366
OF REPRESENTATIVES WHO WORSHIP
409
00:10:28,433 --> 00:10:28,600
LUCIFER.
410
00:10:28,666 --> 00:10:29,866
TOBACCO IS GREAT AT GETTING
411
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:31,133
BEDBUGS AWAY FROM HER BED.
412
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:36,166
PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE THAT.
413
00:10:40,733 --> 00:10:43,300
FEEL BAD FOR THE DISTRICT, NO
414
00:10:43,366 --> 00:10:43,733
SOUP FOR YOU.
415
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:49,366
HE HAS A DICK.
416
00:10:49,433 --> 00:10:50,433
YOU HAVE A VAGINA.
417
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,766
THANK YOU, SIR.
418
00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:10,166
THANK YOU, MR. PAULSON.
419
00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:14,800
NEXT SPEAKER, PLEASE.
420
00:11:15,533 --> 00:11:16,300
MOVING ON.
421
00:11:16,366 --> 00:11:17,542
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS
422
00:11:17,566 --> 00:11:18,133
LOCAL NEWS.
423
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:18,933
THE TRUSTED PLACE PEOPLE GO TO
424
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:19,866
FIND TRAFFIC, WEATHER, AND HERE
425
00:11:19,933 --> 00:11:20,942
IN NEW YORK, THE SINGLE GREATEST
426
00:11:20,966 --> 00:11:21,500
10 SECONDS OF TELEVISION THIS
427
00:11:21,566 --> 00:11:22,000
CITY HAS EVER PRODUCED.
428
00:11:22,066 --> 00:11:23,933
AT 11:00, PAYING MORE AT THE
429
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:24,533
GROCER BUT GETTING LESS, WE'LL
430
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:25,133
TELL YOU HOW TO GET THE MOST!
431
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,333
THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
432
00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:29,966
PERFECT.
433
00:11:30,033 --> 00:11:32,500
ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.
434
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:33,333
THAT IS SUE SIMMONS, BY THE WAY.
435
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,733
SHE SADLY RETIRED IN 2012, AND
436
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,600
HAS BEEN MISSED EVERY DAY SINCE.
437
00:11:36,666 --> 00:11:38,633
BECAUSE IF ANY CITY NEEDS
438
00:11:38,733 --> 00:11:40,300
A NEWS ANCHOR WITH AN ABILITY
439
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,733
TO SAY "THE FUCK ARE YOU
440
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,166
DOING?," IT IS NEW YORK.
441
00:11:44,233 --> 00:11:46,466
WE'VE TALKED ABOUT LOCAL NEWS
442
00:11:46,533 --> 00:11:47,466
A LOT ON THIS SHOW...
443
00:11:47,533 --> 00:11:48,033
PARTICULARLY, REGARDING JUST
444
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:48,600
HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO ANY
445
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:52,266
COMMUNITY.
446
00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:53,533
WE ARE CONSTANTLY FEATURING
447
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:54,200
LOCAL NEWS INVESTIGATIONS
448
00:11:54,266 --> 00:11:54,566
IN OUR STORIES.
449
00:11:54,633 --> 00:11:55,200
AND IT ISN'T JUST IMPORTANT
450
00:11:55,266 --> 00:11:56,500
IN A CIVIC SENSE; IT'S A MAJOR
451
00:11:56,566 --> 00:11:58,433
MONEYMAKER FOR STATIONS.
452
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,066
NEXSTAR, ONE OF THE BIGGEST
453
00:12:00,133 --> 00:12:01,666
OWNERS OF LOCAL STATIONS,
454
00:12:01,733 --> 00:12:03,133
SAID THEY EARNED NEARLY HALF
455
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,400
THEIR ADVERTISING REVENUE FROM
456
00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:07,900
SPOTS AIRED DURING LOCAL NEWS
457
00:12:07,966 --> 00:12:08,600
PROGRAMMING.
458
00:12:08,666 --> 00:12:11,566
BUT THE NEED TO BOTH INFORM A
459
00:12:11,633 --> 00:12:12,266
COMMUNITY AND MAKE MONEY HAS
460
00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:13,476
ALWAYS BEEN TRICKY TO RECONCILE
461
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:14,933
...AS YOU CAN TELL FROM THIS
462
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,266
1960s CLIP OF BALTIMORE'S
463
00:12:16,333 --> 00:12:17,266
CHANNEL 11 NEWS.
464
00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:18,933
IN CHICAGO, TODAY,
465
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,076
A WHITE MOB THREW ROCKS AND
466
00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:21,266
BOTTLES AT CIVIL RIGHTS
467
00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:23,033
DEMONSTRATORS.
468
00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:24,566
THAT STORY AFTER THIS MESSAGE
469
00:12:24,633 --> 00:12:26,066
ABOUT MASH'S HAM.
470
00:12:26,133 --> 00:12:27,966
HE'S A LOVER.
471
00:12:28,033 --> 00:12:29,033
NO, NOT THE KIND YOU'RE
472
00:12:29,066 --> 00:12:31,200
THINKING OF.
473
00:12:31,266 --> 00:12:34,000
HE'S A HAM LOVER.
474
00:12:34,066 --> 00:12:35,633
AND ALL HAM LOVERS KNOW THAT
475
00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:37,200
MASH'S HAMS ARE THE BEST YOU
476
00:12:37,266 --> 00:12:38,333
CAN BUY.
477
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,266
OKAY, THAT IS A VERY
478
00:12:40,333 --> 00:12:41,166
AWKWARD TRANSITION TO HAVE TO
479
00:12:41,233 --> 00:12:42,433
MAKE.
480
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:45,033
TO GO FROM TEASING A STORY ABOUT
481
00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:47,633
A RACIST MOB WITH A MASH'S HAM
482
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,000
LOGO ON YOUR DESK, TO A MAN WHO
483
00:12:49,066 --> 00:12:50,966
IS... NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS...
484
00:12:51,033 --> 00:12:52,153
DEFINITELY FUCKING THAT HAM.
485
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,966
WHICH IS ABSURD.
486
00:12:54,033 --> 00:12:54,900
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT,
487
00:12:54,966 --> 00:12:56,433
WHEN INSTEAD, YOU COULD BE
488
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:57,900
FUCKING HONEYSUCKLE WHITE'S
489
00:12:57,966 --> 00:12:58,800
FRESH GROUND TURKEY?
490
00:12:58,866 --> 00:13:01,033
THE ONLY GROUND TURKEY THAT'S
491
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:03,866
93% LEAN AND 100% FUCKABLE.
492
00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:05,100
GET YOUR FUCK FILL
493
00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:06,866
WITH HONEYSUCKLE.
494
00:13:06,933 --> 00:13:09,300
NOW, CLEARLY, MAINTAINING
495
00:13:09,366 --> 00:13:10,666
JOURNALISTIC INDEPENDENCE
496
00:13:10,733 --> 00:13:11,266
FROM ADVERTISERS IS CRITICALLY
497
00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:12,266
IMPORTANT.
498
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,233
SO IMPORTANT, IN FACT, IT'S
499
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:14,800
FREQUENTLY REFERRED TO AS THE
500
00:13:14,866 --> 00:13:17,133
"CHURCH-STATE WALL."
501
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,966
AND THE FCC HAS RULES REQUIRING
502
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:20,966
BROADCAST STATIONS TO ANNOUNCE
503
00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:22,633
WHEN CONTENT HAS BEEN SPONSORED
504
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,533
OR PAID FOR IN ANY WAY.
505
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,466
UNFORTUNATELY, MANY LOCAL
506
00:13:26,533 --> 00:13:27,709
STATIONS HAVE EITHER COMPLETELY
507
00:13:27,733 --> 00:13:29,166
BROKEN THOSE RULES, OR VIOLATED
508
00:13:29,233 --> 00:13:30,333
THE SPIRIT OF THEM, THROUGH
509
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,133
A PRACTICE KNOWN AS
510
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,200
"SPONSORED CONTENT."
511
00:13:33,266 --> 00:13:34,266
IT'S WHERE ADVERTISING IS
512
00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:35,866
BLENDED DIRECTLY INTO THE
513
00:13:35,933 --> 00:13:37,333
BROADCASTS, AND IT'S BOTH
514
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,600
MORE WIDESPREAD, AND HARDER TO
515
00:13:38,633 --> 00:13:40,166
DETECT, THAN YOU MIGHT REALIZE.
516
00:13:40,233 --> 00:13:42,600
SO TONIGHT, LET'S TALK ABOUT
517
00:13:42,666 --> 00:13:43,800
SPONSORED CONTENT.
518
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,400
AND LET'S START WITH THE STUFF
519
00:13:45,466 --> 00:13:47,200
THAT SEEMS ESSENTIALLY HARMLESS:
520
00:13:47,266 --> 00:13:48,133
PEOPLE GETTING PAID TO HAWK
521
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,500
PRODUCTS ON TV.
522
00:13:50,566 --> 00:13:51,933
THERE'S AN INDUSTRY OF LIFESTYLE
523
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:55,066
EXPERTS THAT DO THIS.
524
00:13:55,133 --> 00:13:56,209
HERE IS ONE OF THEM EXPLAINING
525
00:13:56,233 --> 00:13:56,700
THE PROCESS TO POTENTIAL
526
00:13:56,766 --> 00:13:57,066
CLIENTS.
527
00:13:57,133 --> 00:13:58,866
BRANDIGRATION IS WHERE A
528
00:13:58,933 --> 00:14:00,266
BRAND, ITS PRODUCT, AND THE
529
00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:01,133
MESSAGING ARE ALL WORKED
530
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,900
TOGETHER WITHIN THE CONTENT OF
531
00:14:02,966 --> 00:14:05,133
A SHOW IN A PRE-PLANNED MANNER.
532
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,200
WITH SO MANY SHOWS OFFERING
533
00:14:07,266 --> 00:14:07,733
INTEGRATED CONTENT, IT CAN
534
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:08,633
BE HARD TO CHOOSE.
535
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:09,966
BUT LET'S START WITH LOCAL,
536
00:14:10,033 --> 00:14:11,266
OKAY?
537
00:14:11,333 --> 00:14:12,966
WE HAVE A METHOD THAT HELPS
538
00:14:13,033 --> 00:14:14,666
ME GET INTERVIEWS IN A SNAP.
539
00:14:14,733 --> 00:14:15,266
HI, MICHELLE!
540
00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:17,500
HEY THERE, JER-BEAR!
541
00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:18,933
HI, MICHELLE!
542
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,800
HEY, GIRL, HOW YOU DOING?
543
00:14:21,866 --> 00:14:22,866
SEE?
544
00:14:22,933 --> 00:14:24,300
IN AN INSTANT, WE HAVE ACCESS
545
00:14:24,366 --> 00:14:25,376
TO SHOWS ACROSS THE NATION
546
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:27,266
THAT ARE READY FOR YOUR
547
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:27,500
CONTENT.
548
00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:28,233
WOW.
549
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:29,200
I GOTTA SAY, THAT IS PRETTY
550
00:14:29,266 --> 00:14:30,833
IMPRESSIVE.
551
00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:32,500
THE ONLY PERSON I CAN SUMMON
552
00:14:32,566 --> 00:14:33,333
WITH A SNAP OF MY FINGERS IS
553
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,866
GEORGE CLOONEY.
554
00:14:35,933 --> 00:14:38,466
WATCH.
555
00:14:38,533 --> 00:14:39,100
THERE HE IS.
556
00:14:39,166 --> 00:14:39,533
HELLO?
557
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:40,133
HEY, GEORGE!
558
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:43,300
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
559
00:14:43,366 --> 00:14:44,800
UHHH...
560
00:14:44,866 --> 00:14:48,700
I'M DOING FINE.
561
00:14:48,766 --> 00:14:50,333
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
562
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,466
I'M JUST SHOWING PEOPLE
563
00:14:51,533 --> 00:14:52,333
HOW I CAN SUMMON YOU WITH A
564
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,466
SIMPLE SNAP OF MY FINGERS.
565
00:14:55,533 --> 00:14:56,033
I'M EATING DINNER.
566
00:14:56,100 --> 00:15:01,000
I GAVE YOU THIS POWER TO USE IN
567
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:01,866
A LIMITED CAPACITY, JOHN.
568
00:15:01,933 --> 00:15:02,433
UNDERSTOOD, GEORGE.
569
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:03,300
BYE!
570
00:15:03,366 --> 00:15:04,100
BYE.
571
00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:05,166
SEE?
572
00:15:05,233 --> 00:15:06,366
THE SYSTEM WORKS!
573
00:15:06,433 --> 00:15:07,633
BUT THE TRUTH IS, MICHELLE
574
00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:08,600
DIDN'T JUST HAVE THE POWER
575
00:15:08,666 --> 00:15:09,166
TO MAKE PEOPLE APPEAR OUT OF
576
00:15:09,233 --> 00:15:09,533
THIN AIR.
577
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:10,766
SHE ALSO, CRUCIALLY, HAD THE
578
00:15:10,833 --> 00:15:11,733
POWER TO MAKE THEM PLAY ALONG
579
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:12,533
AS SHE HAWKED HORRIFYING
580
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,733
PRODUCTS LIKE THESE.
581
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:16,566
THESE ARE THE NEW FRENCH'S
582
00:15:16,633 --> 00:15:18,600
CRISPY JALAPENOS.
583
00:15:18,666 --> 00:15:19,786
ONE FUN IDEA IS TO USE IT IN
584
00:15:19,833 --> 00:15:22,466
THIS JALAPENO CHEESEBURGER DIP.
585
00:15:22,533 --> 00:15:24,166
THIS IS SERIOUSLY EVERYTHING
586
00:15:24,233 --> 00:15:24,833
YOU LOVE ABOUT A CHEESEBURGER
587
00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:29,466
IN DIP FORM.
588
00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:30,573
TAKE A LOOK, IS THIS THING
589
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:30,933
GORGEOUS OR WHAT?
590
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:31,433
THIS THING HAS JUST HIT
591
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:31,833
THE PARTY SCENE.
592
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:32,700
IT'S THE VELVETTA SHELLS AND
593
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:33,533
CHEESE LIFE SIZE LIQUID GOLD
594
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,866
FOUNTAIN.
595
00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:37,500
OKAY, SO, A FEW THINGS I LOVE
596
00:15:37,566 --> 00:15:38,766
ARE DORITOS, MELTED CHEESE
597
00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:40,700
STICKS, AND NACHOS, AND NOW
598
00:15:40,766 --> 00:15:42,009
THERE'S A WAY YOU CAN ENJOY THEM
599
00:15:42,033 --> 00:15:43,233
ALL IN ONE.
600
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:45,100
THESE ARE DORITOS LOADED.
601
00:15:45,166 --> 00:15:46,166
IT IS A TOTALLY NEW WAY
602
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,233
TO EXPERIENCE DORITOS.
603
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:48,900
THAT'S A REALLY FUN TWIST
604
00:15:48,966 --> 00:15:49,566
ON A SNACK IDEA.
605
00:15:49,633 --> 00:15:51,200
ISN'T IT?
606
00:15:51,266 --> 00:15:52,666
NO!
607
00:15:52,733 --> 00:15:54,000
NO, IT ISN'T!
608
00:15:54,066 --> 00:15:54,833
NOW THAT PRODUCT HAS SINCE BEEN
609
00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:55,433
DISCONTINUED.
610
00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:56,433
PROBABLY BECAUSE IT LOOKS LESS
611
00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:57,333
LIKE A SNACK, AND MORE LIKE
612
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:58,476
SOMEONE DEEP-FRIED A FIDGET
613
00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,933
SPINNER.
614
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:00,633
AND YOU PROBABLY ASSUMED
615
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:02,000
MICHELLE WAS GETTING PAID
616
00:16:02,066 --> 00:16:04,100
TO DO THAT.
617
00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:05,600
BUT INTERESTINGLY, THE STATION
618
00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:07,033
WAS ALSO GETTING PAID TO HAVE
619
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,766
HER ON.
620
00:16:08,833 --> 00:16:12,133
AND WHILE THE FCC REQUIRES
621
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:12,700
SPONSORED CONTENT LIKE THAT
622
00:16:12,766 --> 00:16:13,433
TO BE LABELED, IT HAS NO
623
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:14,900
REQUIREMENTS FOR EXACTLY HOW
624
00:16:14,966 --> 00:16:16,500
OR FOR HOW LONG.
625
00:16:16,566 --> 00:16:18,866
SO FOR INSTANCE, IN THE CASE OF
626
00:16:18,933 --> 00:16:19,666
DORITOS LOADED, THE DISCLOSURE
627
00:16:19,733 --> 00:16:27,233
CAME AT THE VERY END OF THE
628
00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:31,666
SEGMENT FOR JUST TWO SECONDS.
629
00:16:31,733 --> 00:16:32,300
SO SIX SECONDS TOTAL.
630
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:33,200
WHICH IS, INCIDENTALLY, ABOUT
631
00:16:33,266 --> 00:16:33,966
THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME DORITOS
632
00:16:34,033 --> 00:16:34,833
LOADED STAY IN YOUR BODY BEFORE
633
00:16:34,900 --> 00:16:35,633
BEING FORCIBLY EJECTED FROM
634
00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:36,133
WHATEVER ORIFICE THEY'RE
635
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:37,933
CLOSEST TO.
636
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,966
THIS PRACTICE CAN BE SO
637
00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:40,566
LUCRATIVE THAT MANY BIG CHAINS
638
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,466
HAVE NOW SET UP TEMPLATES FOR
639
00:16:42,533 --> 00:16:47,633
LOCAL SHOWS, BUILT AROUND
640
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:49,400
SPONSORED CONTENT.
641
00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:50,666
SCRIPPS HAS "MORNING BLEND,"
642
00:16:50,733 --> 00:16:51,400
TEGNA HAS "GREAT DAY," NEXSTAR
643
00:16:51,466 --> 00:16:53,566
HAS "DAYTIME," AND SINCLAIR HAS,
644
00:16:53,633 --> 00:16:54,400
I CAN ONLY ASSUME, "THE MUSLIMS
645
00:16:54,466 --> 00:16:57,000
ATTACK AT DAWN."
646
00:16:57,066 --> 00:16:58,700
AND IT'S NOT JUST BRAND EXPERTS
647
00:16:58,766 --> 00:17:00,166
JOINING BY SATELLITE.
648
00:17:00,233 --> 00:17:02,633
SOMETIMES LOCAL BUSINESSES WILL
649
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:04,200
PAY FOR AN INTERVIEW, WHERE THEY
650
00:17:04,266 --> 00:17:05,533
CAN SCRIPT THE QUESTIONS, AND
651
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:06,100
MAKE SURE THEY'RE PRESENTED
652
00:17:06,166 --> 00:17:07,900
GLOWINGLY.
653
00:17:07,966 --> 00:17:08,300
TAKE JIM HEAFNER.
654
00:17:08,366 --> 00:17:09,533
UNTIL RECENTLY, HE WAS A
655
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:10,676
FINANCIAL ADVISER IN CHARLOTTE,
656
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,433
NORTH CAROLINA, WHO WAS ON THE
657
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:14,166
LOCAL SHOW "MORNING BREAK"
658
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:15,666
ALL THE TIME, AND WAS ALWAYS
659
00:17:15,733 --> 00:17:16,400
INTRODUCED IN VERY POSITIVE
660
00:17:16,466 --> 00:17:22,166
TERMS.
661
00:17:22,233 --> 00:17:23,733
WE HAVE JIM HEAFNER, HE IS A
662
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,133
CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER, THE
663
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,200
PRESIDENT AND CEO OF HEAFNER
664
00:17:27,266 --> 00:17:28,500
FINANCIAL, A BEST-SELLING
665
00:17:28,566 --> 00:17:30,366
AUTHOR, JUST AN ALL-AROUND GREAT
666
00:17:30,433 --> 00:17:30,533
GUY.
667
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:31,133
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING
668
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:31,600
BACK HERE.
669
00:17:31,666 --> 00:17:32,500
YOU'RE A REGULAR HERE.
670
00:17:32,566 --> 00:17:33,166
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING
671
00:17:33,233 --> 00:17:35,900
BACK WITH US.
672
00:17:35,966 --> 00:17:36,466
YOU ARE WELCOME.
673
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:37,166
WE LIKE WHEN YOU'RE HERE.
674
00:17:37,233 --> 00:17:38,566
WE'RE SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU
675
00:17:38,633 --> 00:17:39,166
BACK BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA HELP
676
00:17:39,233 --> 00:17:39,800
OUR FOLKS GET FINANCIALLY FIT.
677
00:17:39,866 --> 00:17:40,400
WELCOME BACK, MR. HEAFNER!
678
00:17:40,466 --> 00:17:41,000
WE LOVE WHEN YOU ARE HERE WITH
679
00:17:41,066 --> 00:17:41,266
US, SIR.
680
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:43,266
THIS MAN KNOWS HIS STUFF.
681
00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:44,800
THAT LEVEL OF
682
00:17:44,866 --> 00:17:48,600
ENTHUSIASTIC COSIGNING SEEMS
683
00:17:48,666 --> 00:17:49,300
PRETTY CONVINCING UNTIL YOU
684
00:17:49,366 --> 00:17:50,476
REMIND YOURSELF, THE STATION
685
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:51,576
WAS BEING PAID TO SAY THOSE
686
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,366
THINGS ABOUT HIM.
687
00:17:52,433 --> 00:17:54,600
IT'S THE REASON NO ONE WHO GETS
688
00:17:54,666 --> 00:17:57,333
A BIRTHDAY CAMEO FROM GARY BUSEY
689
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,200
THINKS, "WOW, GARY BUSEY HOPES
690
00:17:59,266 --> 00:18:00,276
I MAKE IT TO 156 YEARS OLD?
691
00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:02,666
HE MUST BE MY BEST FRIEND."
692
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:04,500
INSTEAD, THEY THINK, "WOW, CRAIG
693
00:18:04,566 --> 00:18:06,200
JUST WASTED $350 GETTING
694
00:18:06,266 --> 00:18:07,600
GARY BUSEY TO WISH ME
695
00:18:07,666 --> 00:18:09,066
A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
696
00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:11,000
HE MUST BE MY BEST FRIEND."
697
00:18:11,066 --> 00:18:12,700
AND IT'S WORTH NOTING THAT
698
00:18:12,766 --> 00:18:17,700
HEAFNER AND THE FIRM HE WORKED
699
00:18:17,766 --> 00:18:20,566
NOT ONLY WERE ORDERED TO PLAY
700
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:21,642
$1 MILLION IN AN ARBITRATION
701
00:18:21,666 --> 00:18:23,000
CASE THAT HE LOST RETIREES'
702
00:18:23,066 --> 00:18:25,966
MONEY COME ABOUT 22 CLAYTON'S
703
00:18:26,033 --> 00:18:26,200
RECENTLY
704
00:18:26,266 --> 00:18:26,766
SEEKING DAMAGES RELATED TO
705
00:18:26,833 --> 00:18:27,033
SUED HIM,
706
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:27,600
THE LOSS OF $2.7 MILLION OF
707
00:18:27,666 --> 00:18:28,266
THEIR INVESTMENTS, WITH ONE OF
708
00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:29,000
THEM EVEN SAYING HE TRUSTED
709
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,142
HEAFNER BECAUSE HE "BELIEVED
710
00:18:30,166 --> 00:18:31,333
THE LONGEST-RUNNING CHARLOTTE
711
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:32,033
STATION WOULD INVITE ON
712
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:32,766
TRUSTED EXPERTS."
713
00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:33,966
AND YEAH!
714
00:18:34,033 --> 00:18:35,566
OF COURSE YOU'D BELIEVE THAT!
715
00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:36,333
PEOPLE TRUST THEIR
716
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:42,266
LOCAL STATION!
717
00:18:42,333 --> 00:18:43,100
THAT'S THE POINT HERE!
718
00:18:43,166 --> 00:18:44,500
AND IT DOESN'T STOP AT THESE
719
00:18:44,566 --> 00:18:45,100
LOCAL LIFESTYLE SHOWS...
720
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,176
COMPANIES HAVE ALSO BOUGHT THEIR
721
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:46,833
WAY DIRECTLY INTO LOCAL NEWS
722
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:49,033
BROADCASTS.
723
00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:51,666
BACK IN 2017, SINCLAIR FACED
724
00:18:51,733 --> 00:18:53,433
A $13.3 MILLION FINE FROM
725
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,900
THE FCC OVER SEGMENTS PROMOTING
726
00:18:54,966 --> 00:18:56,300
THE HUNTSMAN CANCER INSTITUTE,
727
00:18:56,366 --> 00:18:58,800
WHICH WERE BROADCAST MORE THAN
728
00:18:58,866 --> 00:19:00,333
A THOUSAND TIMES ON LOCAL
729
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,000
SINCLAIR STATIONS WITH NO
730
00:19:02,066 --> 00:19:03,800
INDICATION WHATSOEVER THEY
731
00:19:03,866 --> 00:19:04,866
WERE SPONSORED.
732
00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:06,400
SOME OF THESE SEGMENTS AIRED
733
00:19:06,466 --> 00:19:07,333
DURING THE EVENING NEWS,
734
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,633
AND IN HINDSIGHT, THE TONE OF
735
00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:09,933
THE REPORTS WERE SUSPICIOUSLY
736
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,433
UPBEAT.
737
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:13,540
THIS COMPLEX MACHINE IS
738
00:19:13,566 --> 00:19:15,933
ERADICATING CANCER WITHOUT
739
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:16,433
THE INVASIVE PROCEDURES.
740
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:17,300
FOR PATIENTS LIKE JEFF, THIS
741
00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:18,633
IS WELCOME NEWS.
742
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,966
IF YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
743
00:19:21,033 --> 00:19:22,153
PROSTATE CANCER, THIS IS THE
744
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,233
TIME TO HAVE IT.
745
00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:24,400
IN SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH,
746
00:19:24,466 --> 00:19:29,266
MARK KOBEL REPORTING.
747
00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:30,000
THAT IS A HELL OF A
748
00:19:30,066 --> 00:19:31,233
NO TIME LIKE THE
749
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:31,866
PRESENT TO HAVE PROSTATE CANCER.
750
00:19:31,933 --> 00:19:32,933
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
751
00:19:32,966 --> 00:19:34,766
AND DESPITE HOW HE SIGNED OFF,
752
00:19:34,833 --> 00:19:36,076
IS MARK KOBEL ACTUALLY REPORTING
753
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:36,600
THERE?
754
00:19:36,666 --> 00:19:37,842
BECAUSE, IN RETROSPECT, IT SEEMS
755
00:19:37,866 --> 00:19:39,366
MORE LIKE MARK KOBEL PARROTING
756
00:19:39,433 --> 00:19:40,633
THE ABSURDLY SUNNY CANCER
757
00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:42,200
PROPAGANDA OF HIS BUSINESS
758
00:19:42,266 --> 00:19:47,300
DADDY'S FAVORITE MONEY FRIEND.
759
00:19:47,366 --> 00:19:48,266
BUT I WILL SAY THIS, AT LEAST
760
00:19:48,333 --> 00:19:48,800
THAT'S AN INSTANCE OF
761
00:19:48,866 --> 00:19:49,733
A BROADCASTER ACTING SO
762
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:50,633
EGREGIOUSLY, THE FCC WAS ABLE
763
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:52,066
TO TAKE ACTION.
764
00:19:52,133 --> 00:19:54,266
A LOT OF THE TIME, STATIONS ARE
765
00:19:54,333 --> 00:19:56,166
DOING JUST ENOUGH DISCLOSURE
766
00:19:56,233 --> 00:19:57,600
TO STAY THE RIGHT SIDE OF
767
00:19:57,666 --> 00:19:59,366
THE FCC, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN
768
00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:00,233
THEY'RE NOT DOING MASSIVE HARM
769
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:01,566
TO THEIR CREDIBILITY.
770
00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:04,533
BECAUSE EVEN WHEN A SPONSORSHIP
771
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,633
IS PROPERLY DISCLOSED, I'D ARGUE
772
00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:08,266
THERE ARE CERTAIN BUSINESSES
773
00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:10,000
LOCAL STATIONS SHOULD NOT BE
774
00:20:10,066 --> 00:20:11,333
SELLING THEMSELVES OUT FOR.
775
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:12,233
ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO
776
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:13,566
MEDICINE.
777
00:20:13,633 --> 00:20:15,533
BECAUSE A SURPRISING NUMBER
778
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:16,366
OF SEGMENTS ON THESE SHOWS ARE
779
00:20:16,433 --> 00:20:18,533
ENTHUSIASTIC, UNCRITICAL
780
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,266
SHOWCASES FOR EXPENSIVE
781
00:20:20,333 --> 00:20:21,533
TREATMENTS OR DEVICES,
782
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:22,333
FEATURING CLAIMS THAT ARE,
783
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,333
TO PUT IT CHARITABLY,
784
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:24,633
MEDICALLY DUBIOUS.
785
00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:26,233
LIKE THIS PRODUCT,
786
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:27,433
WHICH MADE IT ONTO A REGULAR
787
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:28,666
MORNING NEWSCAST IN UTAH.
788
00:20:28,733 --> 00:20:30,100
TODAY, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
789
00:20:30,166 --> 00:20:31,033
A TECHNOLOGY AIMED TO HELP MEN
790
00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:33,033
WITH A SERIOUS ISSUE.
791
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:35,300
STEPHANIE AND DUSTIN WOLFF,
792
00:20:35,366 --> 00:20:36,666
THE CO-INVENTORS OF THE WORLD'S
793
00:20:36,733 --> 00:20:40,666
FIRST CLINICALLY TESTED HOME USE
794
00:20:40,733 --> 00:20:43,166
SHOCK WAVE DEVICE TO TREAT
795
00:20:43,233 --> 00:20:43,900
ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION.
796
00:20:43,966 --> 00:20:44,400
IT'S CALLED THE ROCKET.
797
00:20:44,466 --> 00:20:45,400
THIS IS THE ROCKET.
798
00:20:45,466 --> 00:20:46,566
SO THE ROCKET WORKS ON THE
799
00:20:46,633 --> 00:20:47,966
PRINCIPLE OF LOW-INTENSITY
800
00:20:48,033 --> 00:20:49,142
SOUND WAVE THERAPY, WHICH HAS
801
00:20:49,166 --> 00:20:50,342
ACTUALLY BEEN AROUND IN EUROPE
802
00:20:50,366 --> 00:20:51,700
FOR ABOUT 25 YEARS.
803
00:20:51,766 --> 00:20:52,900
IT'S VERY EFFECTIVE.
804
00:20:52,966 --> 00:20:54,900
IT'S SAFE.
805
00:20:54,966 --> 00:20:55,833
AND IT'S... THE TECHNOLOGY'S
806
00:20:55,900 --> 00:20:58,266
FDA RECOGNIZED.
807
00:20:58,333 --> 00:21:00,066
OKAY, FIRST, THAT
808
00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:02,333
VIBRATING TAINT MISSILE LOOKS
809
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,300
UTTERLY TERRIFYING.
810
00:21:03,366 --> 00:21:04,166
AND WHILE IT'S SINCE BEEN
811
00:21:04,233 --> 00:21:05,766
REBRANDED FROM "THE ROCKET" TO
812
00:21:05,833 --> 00:21:07,200
"THE PHOENIX," I'M NOT SURE "PUT
813
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:08,600
THIS BIRD THAT DESTROYS ITSELF
814
00:21:08,666 --> 00:21:10,266
IN FIRE NEAR YOUR PENIS" IS MUCH
815
00:21:10,333 --> 00:21:11,733
OF AN UPGRADE.
816
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:12,800
WHAT DOES
817
00:21:12,833 --> 00:21:17,000
"FDA RECOGNIZED" EVEN MEAN?
818
00:21:17,066 --> 00:21:18,566
IT DEFINITELY DOESN'T MEAN IT'S
819
00:21:18,633 --> 00:21:19,066
"FDA CLEARED," MUCH LESS
820
00:21:19,133 --> 00:21:20,966
"APPROVED."
821
00:21:21,033 --> 00:21:23,566
AND THE FDA TOLD US THE PHOENIX
822
00:21:23,633 --> 00:21:24,800
IS "REGISTERED" WITH THEM,
823
00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:26,200
AS A THERAPEUTIC MASSAGER,
824
00:21:26,266 --> 00:21:27,800
THOUGH, NOT AS A DEVICE TO TREAT
825
00:21:27,866 --> 00:21:29,433
ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION.
826
00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:31,300
AND AT THIS POINT, I LEGALLY
827
00:21:31,366 --> 00:21:32,500
HAVE TO TELL YOU,
828
00:21:32,566 --> 00:21:34,066
THE MANUFACTURER OF THE PHOENIX
829
00:21:34,133 --> 00:21:36,833
SAYS THEY MAKE NO EXPLICIT
830
00:21:36,900 --> 00:21:40,166
CLAIMS ABOUT TREATING E.D.
831
00:21:40,233 --> 00:21:41,966
WHICH IS A LITTLE ODD, BECAUSE
832
00:21:42,033 --> 00:21:44,433
THEIR OWN WEBSITE CLAIMS THAT
833
00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:46,766
PHOENIX OFFERS PROVEN TECHNOLOGY
834
00:21:46,833 --> 00:21:47,466
TO MAKE YOUR
835
00:21:47,533 --> 00:21:50,100
PENIS HARDER," WHICH THEY
836
00:21:50,166 --> 00:21:53,333
AND YOU CAN COMPLETE THIS
837
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,300
TREATMENT IN YOUR HOME.
838
00:21:55,366 --> 00:21:55,566
WHICH THEY
839
00:21:55,633 --> 00:21:58,433
PRESUMABLY FEEL JUSTIFIES
840
00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:02,100
ITS PRICE TAG OF HOLY SHIT $879.
841
00:22:02,166 --> 00:22:02,900
BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT HERE.
842
00:22:02,966 --> 00:22:04,009
THE POINT IS, IF YOU'RE GOING TO
843
00:22:04,033 --> 00:22:04,600
ALLOW THAT PRODUCT INTO THE BODY
844
00:22:04,666 --> 00:22:06,200
OF YOUR LOCAL NEWSCAST,
845
00:22:06,266 --> 00:22:07,000
YOU MIGHT WANT TO HAVE SOME VERY
846
00:22:07,066 --> 00:22:07,666
POINTED QUESTIONS READY, AND NOT
847
00:22:07,733 --> 00:22:08,533
END THE SEGMENT LIKE THIS.
848
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:09,609
AND OF COURSE IF YOU WANT TO
849
00:22:09,633 --> 00:22:10,400
FIND MORE INFORMATION, WHERE CAN
850
00:22:10,466 --> 00:22:11,233
THEY FIND IT ONLINE, GUYS?
851
00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:11,633
THEY CAN GO TO
852
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:12,066
GetMyRocket.com.
853
00:22:12,133 --> 00:22:14,000
THERE YOU GO.
854
00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:15,266
GET THAT HELP YOU NEED FOR
855
00:22:15,333 --> 00:22:16,100
WHATEVER AILMENT YOU'VE GOT
856
00:22:16,166 --> 00:22:16,433
RIGHT HERE.
857
00:22:16,500 --> 00:22:17,800
YEAH!
858
00:22:17,866 --> 00:22:18,700
USE THE ROCKET FOR WHATEVER
859
00:22:18,766 --> 00:22:19,866
AILMENT YOU'VE GOT!
860
00:22:19,933 --> 00:22:22,066
ESPECIALLY IF THAT AILMENT IS
861
00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:26,100
HAVING 879 TOO MANY DOLLARS.
862
00:22:26,166 --> 00:22:28,000
AND THE THING IS, THAT'S FAR
863
00:22:28,066 --> 00:22:28,866
FROM THE ONLY WEIRD MEDICAL
864
00:22:28,933 --> 00:22:30,300
PRODUCT THAT'S BEEN PRESENTED
865
00:22:30,366 --> 00:22:31,409
UNCRITICALLY DURING SPONSORED
866
00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:32,800
SEGMENTS.
867
00:22:32,866 --> 00:22:34,700
DENVER'S MILE-HIGH LIVING
868
00:22:34,766 --> 00:22:35,776
FEATURED A SPA OWNER PROMOTING
869
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,866
THIS EXCITING NEW TREATMENT:
870
00:22:37,933 --> 00:22:39,633
MONA LISA TOUCH IS THE FIRST
871
00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:40,533
FDA-CLEARED LASER TO TREAT
872
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:41,866
THE VAGINA, AND IN DOING SO,
873
00:22:41,933 --> 00:22:42,466
IT TREATS THE SYMPTOMS OF
874
00:22:42,533 --> 00:22:43,800
VAGINAL ATROPHY.
875
00:22:43,866 --> 00:22:44,500
SO THE PROCEDURE ITSELF,
876
00:22:44,566 --> 00:22:45,866
IS IT PAINFUL?
877
00:22:45,933 --> 00:22:47,833
NO.
878
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:48,466
IT'S... TYPICALLY, WHAT YOU'LL
879
00:22:48,533 --> 00:22:49,866
FEEL ARE MILD VIBRATIONS.
880
00:22:49,933 --> 00:22:50,866
I TEASE, THE NEXT DAY YOU MIGHT
881
00:22:50,933 --> 00:22:52,266
FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE A SUNBURNED
882
00:22:52,333 --> 00:22:54,466
VAGINA, BUT IT'S JUST HEALING.
883
00:22:54,533 --> 00:22:55,433
OH, THAT'S OKAY, THEN.
884
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:56,700
IT'S JUST YOUR TYPICAL,
885
00:22:56,766 --> 00:22:58,300
EVERYDAY, SUNBURNED VAGINA.
886
00:22:58,366 --> 00:22:59,966
AND ONLY CAUSED BY A LASER.
887
00:23:00,033 --> 00:23:00,633
SO REALLY, JUST YOUR TYPICAL,
888
00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:01,800
EVERYDAY, LASER-ROASTED
889
00:23:01,866 --> 00:23:03,333
GENITALIA.
890
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:04,666
WHICH IS JUST HEALING.
891
00:23:04,733 --> 00:23:05,366
FROM THE LASER YOU DELIBERATELY
892
00:23:05,433 --> 00:23:07,033
BURNED IT WITH.
893
00:23:07,100 --> 00:23:08,000
IT BEING THE INSIDE
894
00:23:08,066 --> 00:23:08,766
OF YOUR VAGINA.
895
00:23:08,833 --> 00:23:09,966
YOUR RUN-OF-THE-MILL
896
00:23:10,033 --> 00:23:12,633
LASER-CHARRED VAGINA.
897
00:23:12,700 --> 00:23:14,400
AND IF USING A LASER AS A
898
00:23:14,466 --> 00:23:16,766
MEDICAL PSEUDO-DILDO SEEMS LIKE
899
00:23:16,833 --> 00:23:17,633
YOU HAVE
900
00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:19,766
GOOD INSTINCTS.
901
00:23:19,833 --> 00:23:22,066
BECAUSE OVER A YEAR BEFORE THAT
902
00:23:22,133 --> 00:23:23,666
SEGMENT AIRED, THE FDA ISSUED A
903
00:23:23,733 --> 00:23:24,633
SAFETY ALERT, MAKING IT CLEAR
904
00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:26,033
THAT THEY HAVE NOT CLEARED OR
905
00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:30,100
APPROVED FOR MARKETING ANY
906
00:23:30,166 --> 00:23:30,700
ENERGY-BASED DEVICES TO TREAT
907
00:23:30,766 --> 00:23:31,926
VAGINAL ATROPHY, AND APPLYING
908
00:23:31,966 --> 00:23:33,166
ENERGY-BASED THERAPIES TO
909
00:23:33,233 --> 00:23:34,309
THE VAGINA MAY LEAD TO VAGINAL
910
00:23:34,333 --> 00:23:35,509
BURNS, SCARRING, AND RECURRING
911
00:23:35,533 --> 00:23:37,566
OR CHRONIC PAIN.
912
00:23:37,633 --> 00:23:39,133
AND THE PROBLEM IS, SEGMENTS
913
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:40,433
WITH DICEY MEDICAL CLAIMS ARE
914
00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:43,033
JUST EVERYWHERE.
915
00:23:43,100 --> 00:23:44,209
RECENTLY, THE FDA HAS WARNED
916
00:23:44,233 --> 00:23:45,433
ABOUT THE USE OF UNAPPROVED
917
00:23:45,500 --> 00:23:46,600
STEM CELL THERAPIES,
918
00:23:46,666 --> 00:23:48,333
WHICH THEY SAY CAN BE HARMFUL.
919
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:49,866
BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THAT
920
00:23:49,933 --> 00:23:52,900
TO WATCH SOME OF THESE SHOWS.
921
00:23:52,966 --> 00:23:54,166
HERE'S A SEGMENT FROM
922
00:23:54,233 --> 00:23:55,533
"GOOD MORNING TEXAS," FEATURING
923
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:56,609
A DOCTOR WHO'S BEEN DISCIPLINED
924
00:23:56,633 --> 00:23:57,733
MULTIPLE TIMES BY THE STATE
925
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,033
MEDICAL BOARD FOR SEPARATE
926
00:23:59,100 --> 00:24:00,833
ISSUES, CLAIMING HIS STEM CELL
927
00:24:00,900 --> 00:24:02,900
THERAPY CAN TREAT THINGS LIKE
928
00:24:02,966 --> 00:24:04,600
M.S. AND PARKINSON'S, DESPITE
929
00:24:04,666 --> 00:24:08,033
THE FACT THAT STEM CELLS HAVE
930
00:24:08,100 --> 00:24:08,666
NEVER BEEN APPROVED TO TREAT ANY
931
00:24:08,733 --> 00:24:10,133
NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER.
932
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:11,309
AND IT'S NOT JUST HIM... HERE'S
933
00:24:11,333 --> 00:24:13,033
A NATUROPATHIC DOCTOR, MAKING
934
00:24:13,100 --> 00:24:13,733
SIMILARLY BASELESS CLAIMS ON A
935
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,700
STATION IN ARIZONA.
936
00:24:15,766 --> 00:24:16,366
SO, WHAT KIND OF CONDITIONS
937
00:24:16,433 --> 00:24:17,800
ARE YOU TREATING WITH THIS?
938
00:24:17,866 --> 00:24:19,000
SO, WE TREAT SO MANY
939
00:24:19,066 --> 00:24:21,133
DIFFERENT KINDS OF CONDITIONS.
940
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,833
WE CAN DO IT TO JOINTS,
941
00:24:22,900 --> 00:24:24,166
WE'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF
942
00:24:24,233 --> 00:24:26,133
THAT... SYSTEMIC THINGS AS WELL.
943
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,433
INCLUDING, WE'VE HAD A PATIENT
944
00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:28,542
WITH CHRON'S DISEASE RECENTLY.
945
00:24:28,566 --> 00:24:30,300
HAD A PATIENT WITH HEART DISEASE
946
00:24:30,366 --> 00:24:30,800
WHO WAS IN SEVERE HEART
947
00:24:30,866 --> 00:24:31,966
FAILURE.
948
00:24:32,033 --> 00:24:32,966
BOTH OF THEM WITHIN A WEEK OF
949
00:24:33,033 --> 00:24:34,933
GETTING THESE STEM CELLS ARE
950
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,240
JUST FEELING GREAT AND IMPROVED
951
00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:36,733
TO ALMOST NORMAL.
952
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:38,666
WOW!
953
00:24:38,733 --> 00:24:42,533
YEAH, WOW!
954
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:42,900
INDEED!
955
00:24:42,966 --> 00:24:44,042
THAT CARD SUGGESTED HE CAN TREAT
956
00:24:44,066 --> 00:24:46,333
PARKINSONS, ALZHEIMERS, AUTISM,
957
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:47,533
M.S. AND ALS.
958
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:48,766
IT SEEMS THE ONLY THING HIS
959
00:24:48,833 --> 00:24:50,400
STEM CELLS CAN'T DO IS HELP THAT
960
00:24:50,466 --> 00:24:52,300
STATION PROOFREAD THEIR LIST OF
961
00:24:52,366 --> 00:24:53,133
"CONDITIONS CAN STEM CELL
962
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:54,033
THERAPY BENEFIT."
963
00:24:54,100 --> 00:24:54,933
BECAUSE OTHER THAN THAT,
964
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:58,366
GOT YOU THEY COVERED HAVE!
965
00:24:58,433 --> 00:24:59,509
AND LOOK, WHILE THERE IS NO WAY
966
00:24:59,533 --> 00:25:00,400
OF KNOWING EXACTLY HOW MANY
967
00:25:00,466 --> 00:25:01,833
PEOPLE ARE WATCHING THESE SHOWS
968
00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:04,500
AS THEY AIR, THAT'S NOT REALLY
969
00:25:04,566 --> 00:25:06,000
THE POINT, AS THIS MARKETING
970
00:25:06,066 --> 00:25:07,109
EXECUTIVE AT NEXSTAR EXPLAINED
971
00:25:07,133 --> 00:25:08,733
TO POTENTIAL ADVERTISERS.
972
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:10,166
NOW, HERE'S THE DEAL.
973
00:25:10,233 --> 00:25:11,833
MOST PEOPLE THINK, "OKAY, SO I
974
00:25:11,900 --> 00:25:13,400
GO ON THE TV SHOW, I'M ON TV,
975
00:25:13,466 --> 00:25:14,900
GREAT, THIS IS AWESOME, AND IT
976
00:25:14,966 --> 00:25:15,733
AIRS AT 4:00, I GO ON, GREAT,
977
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:17,066
AND PEOPLE SEE ME, OKAY,
978
00:25:17,133 --> 00:25:22,333
SO THIS IS COOL."
979
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:23,800
I'M GONNA TELL YOU RIGHT NOW,
980
00:25:23,866 --> 00:25:25,333
WHEN YOU ACTUALLY GO ON AND DO
981
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,500
THAT, THAT ISN'T EVEN THE CAKE.
982
00:25:27,566 --> 00:25:29,133
THAT'S JUST THE ICING.
983
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,500
YOU KNOW WHAT THE CAKE IS?
984
00:25:32,566 --> 00:25:35,900
THE VIDEO FILE.
985
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:37,376
AT THE END, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A
986
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:38,640
FOUR OR FIVE MINUTE VIDEO FILE.
987
00:25:38,700 --> 00:25:39,233
AND YOU'RE GONNA DO WHAT WITH
988
00:25:39,300 --> 00:25:39,400
IT?
989
00:25:39,466 --> 00:25:42,333
POST IT EVERYWHERE!
990
00:25:43,633 --> 00:25:44,833
WHAT IS THAT MOTION?
991
00:25:44,900 --> 00:25:47,600
THAT IS UNNECESSARILY GROSS.
992
00:25:47,666 --> 00:25:48,466
THIS ISN'T HOW YOU REPRESENT
993
00:25:48,533 --> 00:25:50,266
CAKE AND ICING.
994
00:25:50,333 --> 00:25:51,233
THIS IS HOW YOU BRING A
995
00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:52,666
MASH'S HAM TO ORGASM.
996
00:25:52,733 --> 00:25:54,933
YOU GIVE IT THE OL' WIGGLE AND
997
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:55,533
SQUEEZE, AND THEN A TWIST AND
998
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:56,066
A SNAP.
999
00:25:56,133 --> 00:25:57,200
OH, SHIT!
1000
00:25:57,266 --> 00:25:59,533
WHAT IS IT?
1001
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,166
SORRY, GEORGE.
1002
00:26:03,233 --> 00:26:04,300
I'M SORRY.
1003
00:26:04,366 --> 00:26:04,833
THAT ONE WAS GENUINELY AN
1004
00:26:04,900 --> 00:26:05,233
ACCIDENT.
1005
00:26:05,300 --> 00:26:06,100
I WAS JUST TRYING TO SHOW PEOPLE
1006
00:26:06,166 --> 00:26:06,966
HOW TO BRING A MASH'S HAM TO
1007
00:26:07,033 --> 00:26:07,200
ORGASM.
1008
00:26:07,266 --> 00:26:10,800
THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO IT.
1009
00:26:10,866 --> 00:26:14,533
OH.
1010
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:15,166
I GUESS THAT'S GOOD INFORMATION
1011
00:26:15,233 --> 00:26:15,700
TO HAVE.
1012
00:26:15,766 --> 00:26:16,333
THE POINT IS, THAT MARKETING
1013
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:17,400
EXECUTIVE IS RIGHT.
1014
00:26:17,433 --> 00:26:18,533
THE CAKE IS THE VIDEO FILE,
1015
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:19,400
AND COMPANIES WILL TAKE THAT
1016
00:26:19,466 --> 00:26:20,566
VIDEO AND RUN WITH IT.
1017
00:26:20,633 --> 00:26:21,673
REMEMBER THAT NATUROPATHIC
1018
00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:22,566
DOCTOR WHO CLAIMED STEM CELLS
1019
00:26:22,633 --> 00:26:23,200
ARE A TREATMENT FOR ALZHEIMER'S
1020
00:26:23,266 --> 00:26:25,533
AND AUTISM?
1021
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,300
HERE'S HIS WEBSITE, WHICH
1022
00:26:27,366 --> 00:26:28,576
PROUDLY FEATURES THE MANY TIMES
1023
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,533
HE WAS GIVEN AN UNCRITICAL
1024
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:34,533
PLATFORM ON TRUSTED LOCAL TV.
1025
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:35,100
AND YOU MIGHT THINK VIEWERS
1026
00:26:35,166 --> 00:26:36,166
SHOULD BE SMART ENOUGH TO
1027
00:26:36,233 --> 00:26:37,066
APPROACH ANYTHING ON THESE SHOWS
1028
00:26:37,133 --> 00:26:41,266
WITH SKEPTICISM.
1029
00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:46,766
THE THING IS, THOUGH, MANY OF
1030
00:26:46,833 --> 00:26:47,400
THESE STATIONS ALSO SWAP FIGURES
1031
00:26:47,466 --> 00:26:48,166
FROM THEIR NEWSROOM TO THEIR
1032
00:26:48,233 --> 00:26:49,000
SPONSORED CONTENT SHOWS.
1033
00:26:49,066 --> 00:26:51,200
AT ABC4 UTAH, FOR INSTANCE,
1034
00:26:51,266 --> 00:26:51,700
SURAE CHINN IS BOTH THE
1035
00:26:51,766 --> 00:26:52,200
CHANNEL'S CHIEF MEDICAL
1036
00:26:52,266 --> 00:26:53,342
CORRESPONDENT AND A HOST OF
1037
00:26:53,366 --> 00:26:54,433
THE SPONSORED CONTENT SHOW
1038
00:26:54,500 --> 00:26:56,733
"GOOD THINGS UTAH."
1039
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:58,000
AND IT REALLY DOES FEEL LIKE A
1040
00:26:58,033 --> 00:27:00,200
LINE IS GETTING BLURRED THERE.
1041
00:27:00,266 --> 00:27:02,433
AND LOOK, IDEALLY, STATIONS
1042
00:27:02,500 --> 00:27:03,576
WOULDN'T ENGAGE IN THIS PRACTICE
1043
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:04,466
AT ALL... OR, AT THE VERY LEAST,
1044
00:27:04,533 --> 00:27:06,166
THEIR DISCLOSURES WOULD BE
1045
00:27:06,233 --> 00:27:07,166
HARDER FOR VIEWERS TO MISS,
1046
00:27:07,233 --> 00:27:08,500
AND THEY'D DO SIGNIFICANTLY
1047
00:27:08,566 --> 00:27:10,166
MORE WORK TO MAKE SURE THAT
1048
00:27:10,233 --> 00:27:12,266
IF THEY'RE LETTING SOMEONE BUY
1049
00:27:12,333 --> 00:27:14,000
THEIR WAY ONTO THEIR CHANNEL,
1050
00:27:14,066 --> 00:27:15,400
AND PRESENT SOMETHING AS REAL,
1051
00:27:15,466 --> 00:27:16,400
THAT IT'S NOT, IN FACT, TOTAL
1052
00:27:16,466 --> 00:27:17,500
NONSENSE.
1053
00:27:17,566 --> 00:27:19,033
BECAUSE RIGHT NOW, IT'S FAR TOO
1054
00:27:19,100 --> 00:27:20,900
EASY TO MAKE A RIDICULOUS
1055
00:27:20,966 --> 00:27:21,800
PRODUCT THAT MAKES OUTLANDISH
1056
00:27:21,866 --> 00:27:23,066
CLAIMS, AND GET IT ONTO
1057
00:27:23,133 --> 00:27:25,066
LOCAL TV.
1058
00:27:25,133 --> 00:27:26,966
AND THE REASON I KNOW THAT IS,
1059
00:27:27,033 --> 00:27:28,300
WE DID.
1060
00:27:28,366 --> 00:27:29,966
WE STARTED A COMPANY CALLED
1061
00:27:30,033 --> 00:27:31,466
VENUS INVENTIONS, AND CREATED
1062
00:27:31,533 --> 00:27:33,666
SOMETHING CALLED THE VENUS VEIL.
1063
00:27:33,733 --> 00:27:35,333
AN ABSURD MEDICAL PRODUCT BASED
1064
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:36,509
ON TECHNOLOGY THAT ABSOLUTELY
1065
00:27:36,533 --> 00:27:39,433
DOES NOT EXIST.
1066
00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:41,266
WE SET UP THIS WEBSITE, AND EVEN
1067
00:27:41,333 --> 00:27:43,233
HIRED AN ACTRESS TO BRANDIGRATE
1068
00:27:43,300 --> 00:27:44,540
THE SHIT OUT OF THE VENUS VEIL,
1069
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:45,133
INTO SHOWS IT HAD NO BUSINESS
1070
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:46,333
BEING ON.
1071
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,166
DID IT WORK?
1072
00:27:49,233 --> 00:27:50,533
I DUNNO... YOU TELL ME,
1073
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:52,966
ABC 4 UTAH!
1074
00:27:53,033 --> 00:27:54,800
I'M SO EXCITED TO TALK WITH
1075
00:27:54,866 --> 00:27:56,666
ERICA HERNANDEZ WITH
1076
00:27:56,733 --> 00:27:59,633
THE VENUS VEIL, A REVOLUTIONARY
1077
00:27:59,700 --> 00:28:00,400
NEW PRODUCT ON THE LINE.
1078
00:28:00,466 --> 00:28:01,466
WHAT EXACTLY IS IT?
1079
00:28:01,533 --> 00:28:03,566
I'M SO INTRIGUED.
1080
00:28:03,633 --> 00:28:04,100
I'M SO GLAD YOU ARE
1081
00:28:04,166 --> 00:28:05,200
INTRIGUED.
1082
00:28:05,266 --> 00:28:07,366
SO THIS IS THE VENUS VEIL.
1083
00:28:07,433 --> 00:28:08,200
IT IS THE WORLD'S FIRST
1084
00:28:08,266 --> 00:28:10,200
SEXUAL HEALTH BLANKET.
1085
00:28:10,266 --> 00:28:12,100
YEP!
1086
00:28:12,166 --> 00:28:14,033
THAT WAS ON ABC 4 LAST FRIDAY.
1087
00:28:14,100 --> 00:28:15,666
AND I'D LOVE TO TELL YOU IT WAS
1088
00:28:15,733 --> 00:28:16,909
DIFFICULT TO GET IT ON, BUT IT
1089
00:28:16,933 --> 00:28:18,800
REALLY WASN'T.
1090
00:28:18,866 --> 00:28:20,333
AND REMEMBER, THAT'S THEIR
1091
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,066
CHIEF MEDICAL CORRESPONDENT.
1092
00:28:22,133 --> 00:28:23,700
AND IT SEEMS STRIKING THAT
1093
00:28:23,766 --> 00:28:25,400
SHE DIDN'T HAVE ANY FOLLOW-UPS
1094
00:28:25,466 --> 00:28:26,366
ON CLAIMS WE MADE ABOUT THE VEIL
1095
00:28:26,433 --> 00:28:27,933
THAT YOU'D HOPE A MEDICAL
1096
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,009
CORRESPONDENT WOULD IMMEDIATELY
1097
00:28:29,033 --> 00:28:31,000
TAKE ISSUE WITH.
1098
00:28:31,066 --> 00:28:32,300
THE VEIL IS BEING DESIGNED
1099
00:28:32,366 --> 00:28:34,333
WITH THE HOPE THAT IT WILL
1100
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,266
PRECISELY DRAW OUT THE NATURAL
1101
00:28:36,333 --> 00:28:39,033
ALKALINE UNDERCURRENTS OF THE
1102
00:28:39,100 --> 00:28:40,376
VAGINA, AND INITIATE A LOW-GRADE
1103
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:41,900
STATE OF WHAT WE CALL
1104
00:28:41,966 --> 00:28:43,933
MICRO-DEATH, WHICH SOUNDS
1105
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,733
INCREDIBLY SCARY, BUT THAT'S
1106
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,133
ACTUALLY JUST RESTARTING THAT
1107
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:48,433
AREA'S NATURAL LIFE CYCLE.
1108
00:28:48,500 --> 00:28:50,266
IT'S USING THIS FIELD OF
1109
00:28:50,333 --> 00:28:52,033
MAGNETO-GENETICS I WAS TALKING
1110
00:28:52,100 --> 00:28:53,500
ABOUT, AND ALSO A TECHNOLOGY
1111
00:28:53,566 --> 00:28:54,900
THAT'S BEEN AROUND FOR A REALLY
1112
00:28:54,966 --> 00:28:56,206
LONG TIME THAT WAS PIONEERED IN
1113
00:28:56,266 --> 00:28:58,500
GERMANY ABOUT 80 YEARS AGO.
1114
00:28:58,566 --> 00:28:59,866
SO THIS IS FULL OF CUTTING-EDGE
1115
00:28:59,933 --> 00:29:00,466
TECHNOLOGY, BUT IT JUST LOOKS
1116
00:29:00,533 --> 00:29:01,800
LIKE A BLANKET.
1117
00:29:01,866 --> 00:29:05,566
YEAH!
1118
00:29:05,633 --> 00:29:06,533
IT DOES.
1119
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:07,600
AND THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS.
1120
00:29:07,633 --> 00:29:08,266
IT IS JUST A BLANKET.
1121
00:29:08,333 --> 00:29:09,133
ALSO, TECHNOLOGY THAT WAS
1122
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:09,666
PIONEERED IN GERMANY ABOUT
1123
00:29:09,733 --> 00:29:10,833
80 YEARS AGO?
1124
00:29:10,900 --> 00:29:12,166
I WOULD HAVE SOME QUESTIONS
1125
00:29:12,233 --> 00:29:13,353
ABOUT THAT PARTICULAR PERIOD
1126
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,900
IN GERMAN HISTORY.
1127
00:29:15,966 --> 00:29:17,133
AND I KNOW THAT LOOKS BAD.
1128
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:18,366
BUT LET'S BE FAIR HERE,
1129
00:29:18,433 --> 00:29:20,600
IT'S JUST AN ISOLATED EXAMPLE.
1130
00:29:20,666 --> 00:29:21,566
THERE WAS NO WAY ANOTHER STATION
1131
00:29:21,633 --> 00:29:22,133
WAS GOING TO FALL FOR THIS.
1132
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:23,133
RIGHT?
1133
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,966
ABSOLUTELY NO WAY.
1134
00:29:26,033 --> 00:29:28,133
IS THERE, KVUE AUSTIN?
1135
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:29,242
BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE LET US
1136
00:29:29,266 --> 00:29:30,766
PAY TO DIRECTLY FOLLOW YOUR
1137
00:29:30,833 --> 00:29:31,766
10:00 PM LOCAL NEWS THIS
1138
00:29:31,833 --> 00:29:33,333
THURSDAY, WOULD YOU?
1139
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,633
THERE'S NO WAY THAT HAPPENED.
1140
00:29:35,700 --> 00:29:36,433
IT INCLUDES SOME PRETTY
1141
00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:37,533
INTERESTING TECHNOLOGY.
1142
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,033
YES, IT DOES.
1143
00:29:39,100 --> 00:29:40,300
SO THE TEAM BEHIND THE VEIL
1144
00:29:40,366 --> 00:29:41,100
WAS INSPIRED BY THE FIELD OF
1145
00:29:41,166 --> 00:29:42,333
MAGNETO-GENETICS.
1146
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:43,900
BUT BASICALLY, YOUR BLOOD IS
1147
00:29:43,966 --> 00:29:45,366
FULL OF IRON, BUT IT'S DISPERSED
1148
00:29:45,433 --> 00:29:46,833
IN SUCH A WAY IT ISN'T AFFECTED
1149
00:29:46,900 --> 00:29:48,266
BY NORMAL MAGNETS.
1150
00:29:48,333 --> 00:29:49,533
SO THE IDEA BEHIND THE VEIL IS
1151
00:29:49,566 --> 00:29:51,333
WITH THE RIGHT BLEND OF
1152
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:52,633
PROPRIETARY MAGNETIC FIBERS,
1153
00:29:52,700 --> 00:29:54,733
YOU CAN CREATE A SELF-CONTAINED
1154
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:56,900
MAGNETIC FIELD THAT RESTIMULATES
1155
00:29:56,966 --> 00:29:58,333
BLOOD FLOW AND GETS YOU FEELING
1156
00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,333
LIKE YOUR NORMAL SELF AGAIN.
1157
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:00,766
VERY INTERESTING.
1158
00:30:00,833 --> 00:30:02,133
IS IT?
1159
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,100
IS IT INTERESTING?
1160
00:30:04,166 --> 00:30:05,276
OR IS THAT OBVIOUS BULLSHIT THAT
1161
00:30:05,300 --> 00:30:06,409
DEFINITELY SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN
1162
00:30:06,433 --> 00:30:07,733
ON IN THE SAME HOUR
1163
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:09,233
AS COVERAGE OF THE CEASE-FIRE
1164
00:30:09,300 --> 00:30:10,633
IN THE MIDDLE EAST,
1165
00:30:10,700 --> 00:30:11,500
A SHORTAGE OF LIFEGUARDS IN
1166
00:30:11,566 --> 00:30:12,400
LOCAL PUBLIC POOLS, AND AN
1167
00:30:12,466 --> 00:30:13,466
INVESTIGATIVE PIECE
1168
00:30:13,533 --> 00:30:14,700
ON CRIMINAL JUSTICE AND
1169
00:30:14,766 --> 00:30:15,666
BAIL REFORM?
1170
00:30:15,733 --> 00:30:17,566
ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE
1171
00:30:17,633 --> 00:30:19,133
THE OTHERS, AND IT'S DEFINITELY
1172
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,266
OUR NAZI-ERA FUCK BLANKET.
1173
00:30:21,333 --> 00:30:23,533
BUT SURELY, IF YOU SAW THIS
1174
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:27,600
BLANKET IN PERSON, THEN,
1175
00:30:27,666 --> 00:30:28,033
IN A STUDIO,
1176
00:30:28,100 --> 00:30:29,500
YOU WOULD KNOW NOT TO
1177
00:30:29,566 --> 00:30:31,033
ENTHUSIASTICALLY COSIGN ON
1178
00:30:31,100 --> 00:30:31,666
THE COMPLETELY BASELESS CLAIMS
1179
00:30:31,733 --> 00:30:32,366
BEING MADE RIGHT IN FRONT
1180
00:30:32,433 --> 00:30:33,700
OF YOU.
1181
00:30:33,766 --> 00:30:36,233
YOU'D PROTECT YOUR VIEWERS FROM
1182
00:30:36,300 --> 00:30:37,066
THAT HAPPENING, WOULDN'T YOU,
1183
00:30:37,133 --> 00:30:38,700
DENVER'S "MILE HIGH LIVING?"
1184
00:30:38,766 --> 00:30:41,166
THIS IS MEANT TO TREAT SEXUAL
1185
00:30:41,233 --> 00:30:42,442
CONDITIONS, BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE
1186
00:30:42,466 --> 00:30:44,133
ARE EMBARRASSED TO TALK ABOUT
1187
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,366
THEIR SEXUAL HEALTH, RIGHT?
1188
00:30:46,433 --> 00:30:47,266
SO IT WAS DESIGNED TO BE
1189
00:30:47,333 --> 00:30:49,600
SOMETHING THAT'S REALLY DISCRETE
1190
00:30:49,666 --> 00:30:52,400
AND ALSO REALLY STYLISH SO YOU
1191
00:30:52,466 --> 00:30:53,133
CAN HAVE IT IN YOUR HOME AND IT
1192
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:53,766
REALLY... I MEAN, COULD IT LOOK
1193
00:30:53,833 --> 00:30:54,966
LESS LIKE A MEDICAL PRODUCT?
1194
00:30:55,033 --> 00:30:55,533
YEAH, NO, IT DOESN'T LOOK
1195
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:55,933
LIKE THAT.
1196
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,933
YOU KNOW, AGAIN, IT'S ONE OF
1197
00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:58,533
THOSE THINGS I THINK A LOT OF
1198
00:30:58,600 --> 00:30:59,166
PEOPLE RIGHT NOW ARE LOOKING
1199
00:30:59,233 --> 00:30:59,666
TO ENHANCE THEIR LIVES,
1200
00:30:59,733 --> 00:31:00,533
BUT THEY ALSO DON'T WANT
1201
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:01,466
ANYTHING TOO INVASIVE.
1202
00:31:01,533 --> 00:31:02,866
RIGHT, YEAH.
1203
00:31:02,933 --> 00:31:03,976
SO THIS IS SOMETHING WHERE,
1204
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:04,500
AGAIN, YOU'RE NOT NEEDING A
1205
00:31:04,566 --> 00:31:05,166
PRESCRIPTION OR ANYTHING LIKE
1206
00:31:05,233 --> 00:31:05,700
THAT AS WELL.
1207
00:31:05,766 --> 00:31:06,766
YES.
1208
00:31:06,833 --> 00:31:07,566
WELL, THANK YOU, ERICA.
1209
00:31:07,633 --> 00:31:08,200
THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMING IN
1210
00:31:08,266 --> 00:31:08,533
TODAY.
1211
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:09,400
WE APPRECIATE IT.
1212
00:31:09,466 --> 00:31:10,200
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING
1213
00:31:10,266 --> 00:31:10,600
ME.
1214
00:31:10,666 --> 00:31:11,200
THANKS FOR MAKING IT SO EASY.
1215
00:31:11,266 --> 00:31:12,100
THIS WAS GREAT.
1216
00:31:12,166 --> 00:31:12,600
YEAH, SUPER EASY.
1217
00:31:12,666 --> 00:31:13,300
YEAH!
1218
00:31:13,366 --> 00:31:14,700
SUPER EASY!
1219
00:31:14,766 --> 00:31:16,266
YOU COULD EVEN ARGUE
1220
00:31:16,333 --> 00:31:18,066
"WAY TOO EASY."
1221
00:31:18,133 --> 00:31:19,633
BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS, NONE OF
1222
00:31:19,700 --> 00:31:20,742
THIS WAS NEARLY DIFFICULT ENOUGH
1223
00:31:20,766 --> 00:31:22,266
TO GET ONTO TV.
1224
00:31:22,333 --> 00:31:26,333
AND IT WASN'T EVEN EXPENSIVE.
1225
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,366
THAT COST JUST $2800.
1226
00:31:28,433 --> 00:31:30,966
THIS ONE COST $2650.
1227
00:31:31,033 --> 00:31:32,766
AND THIS ONE ONLY COST $1750.
1228
00:31:32,833 --> 00:31:34,500
IT WAS ALL SHOCKINGLY
1229
00:31:34,566 --> 00:31:35,800
AFFORDABLE, AND SADLY, ON SOME
1230
00:31:35,866 --> 00:31:36,876
STATIONS, DIDN'T EVEN LOOK THAT
1231
00:31:36,900 --> 00:31:40,533
OUT OF PLACE.
1232
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:41,533
AND THAT IS NOT GOOD.
1233
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:43,666
BECAUSE, AS WE'VE SAID FOR
1234
00:31:43,733 --> 00:31:44,466
YEARS NOW, THE INTEGRITY OF
1235
00:31:44,533 --> 00:31:45,566
LOCAL NEWS IS CRUCIALLY
1236
00:31:45,633 --> 00:31:48,466
IMPORTANT.
1237
00:31:48,533 --> 00:31:49,200
AND THERE IS REAL HARM FOR
1238
00:31:49,266 --> 00:31:50,100
EVERYONE IF THAT INTEGRITY
1239
00:31:50,166 --> 00:31:51,400
IS DAMAGED.
1240
00:31:51,466 --> 00:31:53,000
SO TO THE OWNERS OF THESE
1241
00:31:53,066 --> 00:31:55,466
STATIONS WHO ARE SELLING THEM
1242
00:31:55,533 --> 00:31:56,400
OUT AT A DEPRESSINGLY CHEAP
1243
00:31:56,466 --> 00:31:58,766
PRICE, I HAVE A SIMPLE QUESTION.
1244
00:31:58,833 --> 00:31:59,433
IF I MAY QUOTE THE WORDS OF A
1245
00:31:59,500 --> 00:32:00,666
VERY WISE NEWS ANCHOR:
1246
00:32:00,733 --> 00:32:03,066
THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
1247
00:32:03,133 --> 00:32:04,333
THAT'S OUR SHOW.
1248
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,500
THANKS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.
1249
00:32:06,566 --> 00:32:08,533
IF YOU WANT TO SEE OUR VENUS
1250
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,233
VEIL SEGMENTS IN FULL... THE
1251
00:32:10,300 --> 00:32:10,966
WHOLE CAKE, IF YOU WILL... YOU
1252
00:32:11,033 --> 00:32:11,866
CAN GO TO Venuslnventions.com.
1253
00:32:11,933 --> 00:32:15,166
GOOD NIGHT!
1254
00:32:15,233 --> 00:32:17,400
ARE THERE ANY SIDE EFFECTS OF
1255
00:32:17,466 --> 00:32:17,900
THIS AT ALL?
1256
00:32:17,966 --> 00:32:19,766
YOU MIGHT FEEL A LITTLE BIT
1257
00:32:19,833 --> 00:32:20,733
OF TINGLING BUT WE LIKEN IT TO
1258
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:22,033
WHAT YOU MIGHT FEEL IF YOU ARE
1259
00:32:22,100 --> 00:32:24,900
STANDING OVER A REALLY LOUD
1260
00:32:24,966 --> 00:32:25,966
SEVERAL OF HAVE A TIGHT
1261
00:32:25,990 --> 00:32:27,990
>>>>oakislandtk<<<<<
www.opensubtitles.org