1 00:00:19,980 --> 00:00:22,160 I'm in the lift, Curt. Calm down. 2 00:00:23,140 --> 00:00:24,200 I can't hear you. 3 00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:27,110 Is that him shouting in the background? 4 00:00:27,140 --> 00:00:29,520 I'll be one minute. Tell him I'll be one minute. 5 00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:31,920 Going up. 6 00:00:37,740 --> 00:00:39,600 Can't keep away, Mr Bedford? 7 00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:42,840 I've been summoned by his nibs. 8 00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:48,040 You're a better man than me. 9 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,070 God! Thank God! Where have you been? 10 00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:11,870 It's my night off, Curt. It's none of your business. 11 00:01:11,900 --> 00:01:13,280 What's going on? Where are all the guests? 12 00:01:13,310 --> 00:01:14,310 He told them to go. 13 00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:16,710 Oh, no. Was he polite about it? 14 00:01:16,740 --> 00:01:18,870 Two-faced bunch of pricks, the lot of you! 15 00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:20,430 I've had enough of it, Urban. 16 00:01:20,460 --> 00:01:22,630 - He's not well. - Oh, you don't say. 17 00:01:22,660 --> 00:01:24,030 Look at my heart rate. 18 00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:26,550 I've been beeping like a reversing lorry all afternoon. 19 00:01:26,580 --> 00:01:28,870 My doctor told me to avoid stressful situations. 20 00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:30,640 - Where's the locum? - Gone. 21 00:01:30,780 --> 00:01:32,360 Already? That was quick. 22 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,320 I know. He couldn't get out fast enough. 23 00:01:34,620 --> 00:01:35,750 Well, how long did he stick it? 24 00:01:35,780 --> 00:01:38,390 He only came at four, and he was gone before Pointless started. 25 00:01:38,420 --> 00:01:41,110 Standing about pretending you all give a fuck! 26 00:01:41,140 --> 00:01:43,270 I don't even know who half of you are! 27 00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:44,630 I didn't invite you! 28 00:01:44,660 --> 00:01:46,270 Did you give him anything to calm him down? 29 00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:47,470 Do you mean him, or the locum? 30 00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:48,750 Him, in there! 31 00:01:48,780 --> 00:01:51,110 No. He was asking for his opioids, 32 00:01:51,140 --> 00:01:53,670 - but I said he'd have to wait for you. - Good. 33 00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:56,080 He's been in a foul mood all afternoon. 34 00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:59,670 - At one point, he said he wanted to see a priest. - What? 35 00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:02,270 - Said he needed to confess something. - Oh, for goodness' sake, why? 36 00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:04,230 It's his birthday, he's not being hanged. 37 00:02:04,260 --> 00:02:05,920 That'd be one way to shut him up. 38 00:02:06,420 --> 00:02:09,670 He's been babbling about his old cases. Names I didn't know. 39 00:02:09,700 --> 00:02:12,030 He said I had to light a candle for him. 40 00:02:12,060 --> 00:02:13,350 Did he mean on his cake? 41 00:02:13,380 --> 00:02:16,270 I've no idea. But he was desperate for you to be here. 42 00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:18,190 said you were the only one who could help him. 43 00:02:18,220 --> 00:02:19,990 I thought, "Ooh, no offence taken!" 44 00:02:20,020 --> 00:02:21,720 He is just attention-seeking. 45 00:02:22,540 --> 00:02:24,360 Janine's made hunter chicken. 46 00:02:24,540 --> 00:02:26,670 - I wanted to be home by half eight. - All right, Curt, you go. 47 00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:28,600 You'll be fine if you make all your connections. 48 00:02:28,860 --> 00:02:31,230 His birthday cake's in the kitchen, if you want any. 49 00:02:31,260 --> 00:02:34,190 - I hope he chokes on it. - Curt, go. 50 00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:36,470 - Love to Janine. - Thank you, Urban. 51 00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:38,080 Thank God for you. 52 00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:50,560 Bedford, where the fuck are you?! 53 00:02:54,220 --> 00:02:57,750 What do you think you're doing, just pissing off whenever it suits you? 54 00:02:57,780 --> 00:02:59,390 Nice to see you too, Mr Webster. 55 00:02:59,420 --> 00:03:01,990 - What do I even pay you for? - Oh, beats me. 56 00:03:02,020 --> 00:03:03,910 Force of habit by now, I expect. 57 00:03:03,940 --> 00:03:07,190 Leaving me here to be looked after by the man in the fucking moon. 58 00:03:07,220 --> 00:03:08,510 Well, who's that, then? 59 00:03:08,540 --> 00:03:11,840 Oh, that useless blob Curt drafted in. 60 00:03:12,220 --> 00:03:14,830 Had a head like a fucking globe. 61 00:03:14,860 --> 00:03:17,550 Mm. So, how many's that you've got through now? 62 00:03:17,580 --> 00:03:20,080 - This needs changing. - Oh, God knows. 63 00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:23,680 Eh, you were around the 30-mark, I think. 64 00:03:23,820 --> 00:03:25,990 Yeah, you're the best of a bad bunch. 65 00:03:26,020 --> 00:03:27,840 Oh, high praise! 66 00:03:28,660 --> 00:03:30,510 No, it's fine, really. 67 00:03:30,540 --> 00:03:33,280 I'd much rather be back here than at my friend's concert. 68 00:03:33,340 --> 00:03:36,710 I've been dying to see you since, er, ooh, when was it? 69 00:03:36,740 --> 00:03:37,870 Lunchtime today. 70 00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:39,990 Well, I AM dying, so... 71 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:42,760 It's your birthday! What're you so upset about? 72 00:03:43,340 --> 00:03:46,790 Is it because of last year, when I took you to that antique auction, 73 00:03:46,820 --> 00:03:47,830 and three people bid on you? 74 00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:52,390 Urban, please, may I have 50 milligrams of fentanyl? 75 00:03:52,420 --> 00:03:54,790 No, you may not, Mr Webster. 76 00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:56,480 You're a bastard! 77 00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:58,760 Not for another three hours. 78 00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:01,880 And don't think you can get round me by using my first name. 79 00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:05,190 Curt tells me you're always calling him by his first name. 80 00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:06,510 It won't work with me. 81 00:04:06,540 --> 00:04:09,360 - Oh, that's not what I'm calling him. - Rude. 82 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:15,830 This is supposed to be palliative care, not some kind of prolonged torture. 83 00:04:15,860 --> 00:04:17,710 Well, someone should've read the small print, then. 84 00:04:17,740 --> 00:04:19,560 I don't think you can have one without the other. 85 00:04:19,820 --> 00:04:21,990 You've got your patch on, that's supposed to tide you over. 86 00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:25,000 It's not touching the fucking sides any more. 87 00:04:25,460 --> 00:04:27,520 I'm burning alive here. 88 00:04:28,540 --> 00:04:31,440 - You're meant to provide me with... - Open. 89 00:04:32,580 --> 00:04:34,120 - You're a bully. - Shush. 90 00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:39,560 I like taking your temperature. 91 00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:41,520 Stops you talking for a minute. 92 00:04:44,260 --> 00:04:45,680 I'm sorry about your pills. 93 00:04:46,340 --> 00:04:48,680 If I give you any more right now, you'd overdose and die. 94 00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:51,550 How about I bring you a nice piece of birthday cake? 95 00:04:51,580 --> 00:04:54,070 I'll blow your candles out for you. We can pretend you did it. 96 00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:56,710 I haven't got time for this! 97 00:04:56,740 --> 00:04:59,320 Oh, really? What else are you up to? 98 00:04:59,740 --> 00:05:01,080 You off rock climbing? 99 00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:03,310 Got some scuba diving booked I don't know about? 100 00:05:03,340 --> 00:05:06,350 You shouldn't make jokes at my expense. 101 00:05:06,380 --> 00:05:09,070 I have some very powerful friends. 102 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:12,200 You used to have! You told 'em all to go forth and multiply, didn't ya? 103 00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:14,520 You're feverish. I'm not happy. 104 00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:17,790 What time is it, in real life? 105 00:05:17,820 --> 00:05:19,870 Time you stopped babbling and calmed yourself down. 106 00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:21,120 I'll get you a flannel. 107 00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:24,190 What was this concert you missed? 108 00:05:24,220 --> 00:05:26,750 - Oh, it doesn't matter, it's done now. - Oh, just tell me! 109 00:05:26,780 --> 00:05:30,040 Why do you have to make everything so fucking exhausting? 110 00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:35,920 My friend Dolly plays clarinet with the BBC Concert Orchestra. 111 00:05:36,340 --> 00:05:39,030 She had a solo tonight at the Royal Albert Hall. 112 00:05:39,060 --> 00:05:40,800 I had tickets booked, that's all. 113 00:05:40,900 --> 00:05:43,710 Well, how much was the ticket? I'll reimburse you. 114 00:05:43,740 --> 00:05:45,910 It was a comp. That's not the point, is it? 115 00:05:45,940 --> 00:05:47,150 It was Dolly's big night. 116 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,640 She'd have appreciated my support. Lift up. 117 00:05:50,340 --> 00:05:52,550 Well...I appreciate your support. 118 00:05:52,580 --> 00:05:53,920 Yeah, I know you do. 119 00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:57,160 But I get to see you every day, don't I? 120 00:05:57,260 --> 00:05:59,040 She might never get to do that again. 121 00:05:59,140 --> 00:06:01,750 But I'd put money on me getting a few more goes at wiping your bum. 122 00:06:01,780 --> 00:06:06,590 Oh, God...it's so humiliating to me to hear that. 123 00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:09,320 - You shame me. - I'm only joking. 124 00:06:09,940 --> 00:06:11,750 I've never bet on anything in me life. 125 00:06:11,780 --> 00:06:13,520 Oh, that doesn't surprise me. 126 00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:16,350 You don't fucking swear either, do you? 127 00:06:16,380 --> 00:06:19,630 I have been known to blurt out "fiddlesticks" in moments of crisis. 128 00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:21,280 Remarkable. 129 00:06:22,540 --> 00:06:25,110 You are such a kind soul. 130 00:06:25,140 --> 00:06:27,110 I'm not really. It's just a front. 131 00:06:27,140 --> 00:06:28,960 I just do nice things to balance it out. 132 00:06:29,660 --> 00:06:31,360 Now, why did you get me back here tonight? 133 00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:36,830 Well, you've only ever known the ill version of me, 134 00:06:36,860 --> 00:06:40,870 but I was very successful at a very early age. 135 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:44,790 When I was young and well, God, I... 136 00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:47,190 I lived my life with such vigour. 137 00:06:47,220 --> 00:06:49,240 I know. I've read the articles. 138 00:06:49,540 --> 00:06:53,400 A winning streak that lasted over 45 years. 139 00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:56,310 It's unheard of. You were fearless. 140 00:06:56,340 --> 00:06:57,870 The Lion of the Bailey, they called you. 141 00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:00,350 I can't remember how I did it. 142 00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:05,030 And, then, as you get older, this fucking timidity creeps in. 143 00:07:05,060 --> 00:07:10,720 You get cowed by youth, overwhelmed by the self-confidence of others. 144 00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:13,320 I bet it's just like riding a bike. 145 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,560 You just need warming up again. 146 00:07:16,140 --> 00:07:17,640 Show me how you used to do it. 147 00:07:17,860 --> 00:07:20,550 - Oh, don't be ridiculous. - No, come on, it'll be fun. 148 00:07:20,580 --> 00:07:22,310 And I'll get to see the Lion in action. 149 00:07:22,340 --> 00:07:24,630 Lion? Dead cat, more like. 150 00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:27,190 I'll pick a crime, and then, you try and get me off. 151 00:07:27,220 --> 00:07:30,320 - So to speak. - I am not in the mood. 152 00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:32,040 I'll give you half a fentanyl. 153 00:07:33,140 --> 00:07:34,140 Very well. 154 00:07:35,660 --> 00:07:40,630 So, Mr Bedford, what exactly are they accusing you of? 155 00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:43,080 Ah, yes. Now, it's a rather delicate matter. 156 00:07:43,140 --> 00:07:44,200 Go on. 157 00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:48,840 Well, it's to do with an incident that happened last month with my ex-wife. 158 00:07:49,060 --> 00:07:50,080 Wife?! 159 00:07:51,140 --> 00:07:54,230 This story is already stretching credulity. 160 00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:55,560 Just go along with it. 161 00:07:55,740 --> 00:08:01,550 So, I turned up at her house, where she was hosting a birthday party 162 00:08:01,580 --> 00:08:07,190 for our precious daughter Xylophone and, in a room full of 25 witnesses, 163 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:11,400 I pulled out a shotgun, I tied her up, and I drove her to my isolated cottage, 164 00:08:11,430 --> 00:08:14,920 where I held her captive until she agreed to give me custody. 165 00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:18,150 - Of your precious daughter, Xylophone? - Correct. 166 00:08:18,180 --> 00:08:20,280 - And did she? - No. 167 00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:22,120 So I shot her in the face. 168 00:08:22,740 --> 00:08:23,740 Right. 169 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:27,200 Go on, then. How would you plead that? 170 00:08:28,180 --> 00:08:30,080 Well, lawful excuse. 171 00:08:30,540 --> 00:08:34,710 My client was cleaning his licensed hunting rifle 172 00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:39,800 in readiness for a grouse shoot when he genuinely mistook what turned out to be 173 00:08:39,860 --> 00:08:43,840 the bursting of a children's party balloon for live fire. 174 00:08:44,020 --> 00:08:45,910 Fearing for his wife's wellbeing, 175 00:08:45,940 --> 00:08:48,830 he immediately drove her to a safe house in the country, 176 00:08:48,860 --> 00:08:52,470 using a length of rope to prevent her from injuring herself 177 00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:54,110 - on the journey. - Wow! 178 00:08:54,140 --> 00:08:56,190 Furthermore, it is my intention 179 00:08:56,220 --> 00:09:01,630 to file a product liability claim for substandard party balloons 180 00:09:01,660 --> 00:09:05,360 with reference to British Standard 3303, part one. 181 00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:07,600 How much for the claim? 182 00:09:07,860 --> 00:09:13,040 I think we'd be happy to settle for five million, plus costs. 183 00:09:13,340 --> 00:09:14,470 Get in! 184 00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:16,600 The Lion roars again! 185 00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:19,480 You've still got it, Mr Webster! 186 00:09:55,580 --> 00:09:59,360 Well, thank you, Bedford, for this short diversion. 187 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:04,000 But I need you to help me with something tonight. 188 00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:08,200 - Not another sudoku. - No, come on, I'm serious. 189 00:10:08,820 --> 00:10:11,150 And so am I. That's why I'm here with you, 190 00:10:11,180 --> 00:10:13,430 and not listening to my friend, Dolly, playing Mr Mozart. 191 00:10:13,460 --> 00:10:15,840 It's this birthday, this... 192 00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:17,360 Oh, the... 193 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,120 It's such a weight. 194 00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:21,670 I have to remember! 195 00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:23,430 If it's your age, it'll say on your cake. 196 00:10:23,460 --> 00:10:25,510 Shall I go and fetch it? Two plates, pot of tea? 197 00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:27,800 No, bring me my Filofax. 198 00:10:28,340 --> 00:10:30,960 Why? Are we taking it on Antiques Road show? 199 00:10:31,060 --> 00:10:33,950 Please! It's... it's in the cabinet, on the... 200 00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:35,360 in the top drawer. 201 00:10:41,380 --> 00:10:42,380 Locked. 202 00:10:43,260 --> 00:10:45,630 I don't suppose you can recall where the key is. 203 00:10:45,660 --> 00:10:48,550 What do you think? You'll have to smash it open. 204 00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:51,230 I'm not doing that! I'm a trained nurse, I'm not a labourer. 205 00:10:51,260 --> 00:10:54,030 I have to read through my old cases. 206 00:10:54,060 --> 00:10:55,390 Something's troubling me. 207 00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:58,240 Wait a minute. Before we go all World's Strongest Man... 208 00:10:59,060 --> 00:11:01,440 do you remember where you keep your old barista uniform? 209 00:11:02,060 --> 00:11:05,550 - Barrister! And it's not a uniform. - Where is it? 210 00:11:05,580 --> 00:11:07,510 Cos I don't believe for a minute you've given it to Dogs Trust. 211 00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:10,720 My robes and my wigs are in the back of that wardrobe. 212 00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:13,110 Oh, there you are, you see. 213 00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:15,470 No problem remembering where your frocks are. 214 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,240 You've got your priorities right. 215 00:11:17,780 --> 00:11:18,780 What? 216 00:11:19,180 --> 00:11:21,270 What made you want to be a barrister in the first place? 217 00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:23,310 - Was it this costume? Be honest. - I don't know! 218 00:11:23,340 --> 00:11:25,120 Why does anyone do anything? 219 00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:28,480 Why did you end up doing this? 220 00:11:28,780 --> 00:11:30,920 I've never liked filing cabinets. 221 00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:34,350 Which is funny, cos you'd put them in the same camp as stationery, 222 00:11:34,380 --> 00:11:35,550 and I love stationery. 223 00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:37,720 What are you talking about? 224 00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:41,360 I think they remind me of school. 225 00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:46,680 Carl Jackson choking on a tangerine before home economics. 226 00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:50,840 I'll never forget how quickly he went blue. 227 00:11:52,020 --> 00:11:53,960 Carl was the school bully... 228 00:11:54,860 --> 00:11:56,600 so nobody wanted to help him. 229 00:11:58,020 --> 00:12:00,280 Everyone just stood about, eating crisps. 230 00:12:01,140 --> 00:12:04,550 I tried smacking him on the back, sticking my fingers down his throat 231 00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:07,720 which I cringe at now, cos that's really not protocol, but... 232 00:12:09,660 --> 00:12:10,720 I was 13. 233 00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:14,360 I didn't know what to do. 234 00:12:18,660 --> 00:12:20,440 And I can still smell that orange. 235 00:12:23,420 --> 00:12:25,680 He died on the floor in front of me. 236 00:12:28,900 --> 00:12:30,480 They never even sent us home. 237 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:36,160 We just made an apple crumble with Miss Phillipson like nothing had happened. 238 00:12:38,620 --> 00:12:40,910 So, in answer to your question, 239 00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:44,080 I think that's why I've ended up doing what I'm doing. 240 00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:47,720 Spent my life trying to save Carl Jackson. 241 00:12:51,060 --> 00:12:52,060 There we are. 242 00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:53,920 I knew I'd find one. 243 00:12:54,820 --> 00:12:56,160 Just like in the films. 244 00:13:04,980 --> 00:13:08,990 Ta-da! How about that, Hetty Wainthropp Investigates?! 245 00:13:09,020 --> 00:13:10,020 Wait! 246 00:13:10,860 --> 00:13:13,480 - Don't open it. - What? Why not? 247 00:13:13,820 --> 00:13:16,150 I don't want you to. I've changed my mind. 248 00:13:16,180 --> 00:13:17,350 Oh, you're joking. 249 00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:19,200 There's something terrible in there. 250 00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:22,440 One of my old cases, something I did. 251 00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:24,620 A weight. 252 00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:27,360 Well, we can't leave it at that, can we? I'm opening it. 253 00:13:30,580 --> 00:13:32,560 - What is it? - Oh, my God. 254 00:13:35,380 --> 00:13:36,760 Human head! 255 00:13:37,380 --> 00:13:39,950 Oh, Mr Webster, who is this? What did you do? 256 00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:42,710 Stop it! What is in there? 257 00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:45,920 Nothing. Just files, letters, diaries. 258 00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:48,320 Nothing too scary, by the look of it. 259 00:13:49,540 --> 00:13:51,120 All right, Mr Webster. 260 00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:54,070 That is enough excitement for one day. 261 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,430 You have to help me. 262 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,630 I will help you, but you need to rest. 263 00:13:57,660 --> 00:14:00,960 No, I don't want to sleep. You don't understand. 264 00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:02,900 What...? 265 00:14:03,140 --> 00:14:04,520 What have you...? 266 00:16:46,290 --> 00:16:48,060 No! Don't, no! 267 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,920 Don't! No! 268 00:16:54,090 --> 00:16:55,090 Don't! 269 00:17:01,170 --> 00:17:03,940 I thought it was me that needed sleep. 270 00:17:04,210 --> 00:17:05,290 Sorry. 271 00:17:07,470 --> 00:17:08,470 Bad dream. 272 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,590 Well, you found it. 273 00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:14,290 After all this time. 274 00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:18,290 The Crown versus Andrew Waite. 275 00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:24,370 A rather ferrety-looking man, accused of strangling his mistress with a belt. 276 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,350 Everyone knew he was guilty. 277 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:30,880 And it looked like another defeat in my dead-end career. 278 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,530 But you got him off. 279 00:17:36,330 --> 00:17:39,100 I came across a piece of evidence - 280 00:17:39,130 --> 00:17:44,060 a photograph of Mr Waite attending a party 80 miles away. 281 00:17:44,090 --> 00:17:48,260 It was a cast-iron alibi and I played it for all it was worth. 282 00:17:48,290 --> 00:17:50,380 I dazzled that jury. 283 00:17:50,410 --> 00:17:51,870 There were fireworks. 284 00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:55,440 Mr Waite was released that very day. 285 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:58,980 But you said he was guilty. 286 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,330 The photograph was a fake. 287 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:06,400 I obtained it by immoral means. 288 00:18:07,270 --> 00:18:11,770 I let a guilty man walk free. 289 00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:16,160 It's haunted me ever since. 290 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:23,840 You've probably never seen Frozen, Mr Webster, but... 291 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,370 you've got to make like Elsa and let it go. 292 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,870 If you've done something unforgiveable... 293 00:18:32,270 --> 00:18:34,110 you just have to forgive yourself. 294 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:39,220 Do you forgive me, Urban? 295 00:18:42,110 --> 00:18:43,400 Course I do. 296 00:18:44,670 --> 00:18:48,260 Oh, what have I done to deserve you? 297 00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:50,900 Is it nearly midnight? 298 00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:53,700 Five to. Why? 299 00:18:53,730 --> 00:18:55,180 He'll be here soon. 300 00:18:56,030 --> 00:18:57,030 Who? 301 00:19:15,630 --> 00:19:20,870 Threescore years ago, I signed this contract. 302 00:19:21,510 --> 00:19:23,340 But, tonight, my time is up. 303 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,220 What are you talking about? I'll get you a fentanyl. 304 00:19:27,270 --> 00:19:31,650 How do you think I became so successful...overnight? 305 00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:36,080 How did I come into possession of that impossible piece of evidence? 306 00:19:36,770 --> 00:19:37,830 It was... 307 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:39,520 Oh, no. 308 00:19:39,580 --> 00:19:42,100 It's all right, Mr Webster, it's only a power cut. 309 00:19:42,130 --> 00:19:44,870 Your machines have their own generator. You'll be fine. 310 00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:45,950 God forgive me! 311 00:19:45,980 --> 00:19:48,000 Look, I just need to go and flick the circuits, 312 00:19:48,030 --> 00:19:49,580 but I've got to go to the other room. 313 00:19:50,430 --> 00:19:52,180 Don't leave me! Please! 314 00:19:52,470 --> 00:19:53,980 I'll be right back. 315 00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:16,410 Fuck! 316 00:20:16,710 --> 00:20:19,530 Bedford! What's going on? What's that noise? 317 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:20,780 It's all right, Mr Webster. 318 00:20:20,810 --> 00:20:23,560 Stay where you are. It's dark. I don't want you to fall. 319 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:38,090 Hello? 320 00:21:39,210 --> 00:21:41,160 How are you doing, Mr Bedford? 321 00:21:41,340 --> 00:21:43,010 Everything all right in there? 322 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,780 Thank goodness, yes. I was just about to call you. 323 00:21:45,810 --> 00:21:46,810 What's happened? 324 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,360 Power's out right across town. 325 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,880 How's Mr Webster? Is he OK? 326 00:21:52,910 --> 00:21:54,130 He's good. 327 00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:56,440 We, er, had a bit of a rough night. 328 00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:58,200 A trip down memory lane. 329 00:21:58,230 --> 00:22:00,530 He got a bit...overemotional. 330 00:22:00,780 --> 00:22:04,390 Special occasions can do that to people, I suppose. 331 00:22:10,410 --> 00:22:11,410 They can. 332 00:22:12,830 --> 00:22:15,510 So, how are you? Busy night, I expect. 333 00:22:15,540 --> 00:22:18,280 I can't be everywhere at once, but I try. 334 00:22:18,730 --> 00:22:20,320 No rest for the wicked. 335 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,350 Do you think everything'll go back to normal soon? 336 00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:25,780 I'm not sure. 337 00:22:26,340 --> 00:22:27,980 We may be in the dark... 338 00:22:28,670 --> 00:22:30,700 a little while longer yet. 339 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:32,330 Right. 340 00:22:32,950 --> 00:22:35,460 My eyes are starting to adjust. 341 00:22:35,810 --> 00:22:37,010 Mine, too. 342 00:22:45,050 --> 00:22:46,210 Oh, dear. 343 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:49,290 It is you, isn't it? 344 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,470 Mr Mistoffelees. 345 00:22:52,990 --> 00:22:55,400 Oh...sorry, no, that's Cats. 346 00:22:56,250 --> 00:22:57,280 What do you want? 347 00:22:57,310 --> 00:22:58,890 He's had his life. 348 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,090 I've come for what I'm owed. 349 00:23:04,930 --> 00:23:06,400 Webster! 350 00:23:10,580 --> 00:23:11,760 Oh, God. 351 00:23:13,230 --> 00:23:14,630 I'm afraid not. 352 00:23:14,980 --> 00:23:16,540 It's good to see you again. 353 00:23:16,830 --> 00:23:18,190 It's been a long time. 354 00:23:18,220 --> 00:23:22,450 Please! I'd like to... renegotiate my contract. 355 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,360 I'm not ready to go. 356 00:23:24,390 --> 00:23:26,690 Well, no-one ever is, but, erm... 357 00:23:27,910 --> 00:23:29,310 a deal's a deal. 358 00:23:30,330 --> 00:23:34,160 Can I say something... in his defence? 359 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:35,440 Proceed. 360 00:23:35,900 --> 00:23:37,610 I'm his nurse. 361 00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:40,320 I've looked after him for five years. 362 00:23:40,350 --> 00:23:43,690 I've seen him deal with all this sickness, all this pain. 363 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,240 I know! It's been splendid. 364 00:23:46,630 --> 00:23:48,990 And I've had a ringside seat. 365 00:23:49,180 --> 00:23:51,450 - He's led a good life. - He has. 366 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:55,430 He helped free into the world so many destructive people. 367 00:23:55,610 --> 00:23:58,730 I don't think he's such a bad man. 368 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,820 A bit grouchy sometimes. 369 00:24:01,090 --> 00:24:02,960 That's very forgiving of you. 370 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,070 I try to be a decent person. 371 00:24:05,530 --> 00:24:07,500 There's no accounting for taste. 372 00:24:09,260 --> 00:24:13,040 I don't suppose there's anything I could say that would get him off the hook? 373 00:24:13,070 --> 00:24:16,770 There's no need to plea bargain on my account, Bedford. 374 00:24:16,970 --> 00:24:22,230 I was one of the country's best criminal defence lawyers for 50 years, remember. 375 00:24:22,260 --> 00:24:25,300 - I'm just trying to help you. - And you have. 376 00:24:25,590 --> 00:24:29,060 For the past five years, you've been an angel on Earth. 377 00:24:29,090 --> 00:24:30,990 A beacon of light. 378 00:24:31,420 --> 00:24:33,000 Just think... 379 00:24:33,140 --> 00:24:38,560 his kind soul would burn far more brightly than mine. 380 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:40,750 What are you suggesting? 381 00:24:43,230 --> 00:24:46,570 In civil law, there is a thing called substitution. 382 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:50,580 It is the putting of one person in the place of another so that he may, 383 00:24:50,610 --> 00:24:55,940 in default of ability in the former, have the benefit of a devise... 384 00:24:56,170 --> 00:24:58,120 or legacy. 385 00:24:58,700 --> 00:25:02,310 In other words, I take him instead. 386 00:25:02,510 --> 00:25:05,110 Mr Webster! What are you doing? 387 00:25:05,210 --> 00:25:07,740 I let you discover my secret, 388 00:25:07,770 --> 00:25:11,950 and you still forgave me - just as I hoped. 389 00:25:11,980 --> 00:25:13,200 Let me see. 390 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,650 What if I want to object, Your Honour? 391 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,910 Objection is for American courts. 392 00:25:18,940 --> 00:25:24,600 Here, I would just remind my learned friend not to lead the witness. 393 00:25:25,230 --> 00:25:26,790 I'm really not that good a person. 394 00:25:26,820 --> 00:25:29,810 In comparison to me, you are a saint. 395 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:33,630 And that is what makes it so delicious. 396 00:25:33,850 --> 00:25:35,880 I never even got you a birthday present. 397 00:25:35,910 --> 00:25:37,560 I forgive you. 398 00:25:38,150 --> 00:25:42,200 Congratulations, Mr Webster, you've got yourself a stay of execution. 399 00:25:42,230 --> 00:25:44,650 His contract is now your legacy. 400 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:46,240 You have the pen still? 401 00:25:46,270 --> 00:25:47,810 Oh, yes. 402 00:26:12,940 --> 00:26:14,970 - All done. - What? 403 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,420 Yes, and the agreed addendum? No more pain? 404 00:26:18,450 --> 00:26:21,110 Yes, yes. Your recovery will be remarkable. 405 00:26:21,610 --> 00:26:25,250 As you know, Bedford, illness - proper illness, the dying kind - 406 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,080 never occurs to the young. 407 00:26:27,590 --> 00:26:29,730 Doesn't exist, even. 408 00:26:30,250 --> 00:26:32,600 But my older clients all know pain. 409 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,010 They all specify health in the end years. 410 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:38,100 After all, that's all you've really got, isn't it? 411 00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:42,010 What a relief! I feel better already. 412 00:26:42,140 --> 00:26:45,830 Goodbye, Urban, and thank you for everything. 413 00:26:45,860 --> 00:26:48,870 I hope you get to see the rest of your concert. 414 00:26:48,900 --> 00:26:51,880 I'm told the Devil has the best tunes. 415 00:26:52,530 --> 00:26:53,530 Shall we? 416 00:26:54,250 --> 00:26:56,160 No, this isn't fair. 417 00:26:56,610 --> 00:27:00,140 Mr Webster! You're making a mistake! 418 00:27:00,700 --> 00:27:02,170 Told you earlier. 419 00:27:02,890 --> 00:27:04,560 You're a better man than me. 420 00:27:04,590 --> 00:27:05,590 I'm... 421 00:27:08,300 --> 00:27:09,630 really not. 422 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,090 Oh, I see. 423 00:27:21,410 --> 00:27:24,700 Wha...wha...what's happening? 424 00:27:24,730 --> 00:27:26,390 A late development. 425 00:27:26,420 --> 00:27:29,560 Something I missed - from Bedford's schooldays. 426 00:27:29,660 --> 00:27:33,410 To be fair, you did say you couldn't be everywhere at once. 427 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:34,510 That's true. 428 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:36,870 What is it? 429 00:27:37,690 --> 00:27:40,600 Carl Jackson wasn't the school bully. 430 00:27:41,540 --> 00:27:42,630 I was. 431 00:27:43,860 --> 00:27:46,040 I stuffed a tangerine down his throat... 432 00:27:46,570 --> 00:27:48,690 because he answered me back one day. 433 00:27:50,340 --> 00:27:51,820 I killed him for fun. 434 00:27:55,210 --> 00:27:56,870 Still have nightmares about it. 435 00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,680 I've tried to atone for it since, but... 436 00:28:01,220 --> 00:28:02,620 I'm no angel. 437 00:28:02,860 --> 00:28:06,650 But...wh-what about my new contract? 438 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,170 Null and void, I'm afraid. 439 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,130 Taking Bedford has lost all its currency. 440 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,850 Oh, no, no, no, no, please, please! 441 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:15,440 Let's just talk about this. 442 00:28:15,470 --> 00:28:17,620 Surely we can come to some arrangement. 443 00:28:17,650 --> 00:28:20,020 Goodbye, Mr Webster. 444 00:28:21,020 --> 00:28:22,420 I'll be seeing you. 445 00:28:22,670 --> 00:28:24,570 Oh, you most certainly will. 446 00:28:26,130 --> 00:28:27,200 Going down.