1
00:00:02,343 --> 00:00:05,228
Being a dog of shorter legs
has its challenges.
2
00:00:05,313 --> 00:00:07,375
Can't wear boots.
I pee on myself.
3
00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:09,783
But it's nothing compared
to the challenge
4
00:00:09,868 --> 00:00:12,774
of living up to my uniform,
which I've also peed on.
5
00:00:12,859 --> 00:00:14,299
Honey, am I boring you?
6
00:00:14,384 --> 00:00:15,876
No, no, go on, Elsa.
7
00:00:15,961 --> 00:00:20,565
Is the vest an honor? Yes.
A responsibility? Yes.
8
00:00:20,649 --> 00:00:23,476
Now Chico feels left out,
so Kevin...
9
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:25,318
That reminds me.
Kevin...
10
00:00:25,471 --> 00:00:27,980
No. Guys, we've got
to shake things up.
11
00:00:28,064 --> 00:00:30,969
Does anybody
have anything new to share?
12
00:00:31,054 --> 00:00:33,610
- Well, Lindsay and I...
- Damn it, Shel.
13
00:00:33,695 --> 00:00:34,746
New!
14
00:00:34,830 --> 00:00:38,331
Just looking for something new.
[chuckles awkwardly]
15
00:00:38,484 --> 00:00:40,552
- This reeks of censorship.
- Now, Shel...
16
00:00:40,637 --> 00:00:43,578
Lindsay is my everything,
and if I'm prohibited
17
00:00:43,663 --> 00:00:45,524
from... I'm storming out.
18
00:00:45,609 --> 00:00:48,577
I'm storming out of here.
Walking out right now.
19
00:00:48,661 --> 00:00:51,270
Oh, nobody stop me,
'cause I am out of here.
20
00:00:51,421 --> 00:00:52,719
Leaving in a huff.
21
00:00:52,804 --> 00:00:54,932
Here I'm going.
Storming out.
22
00:00:55,017 --> 00:00:58,420
Hate it when he leaves,
love to watch him go, right?
23
00:00:58,504 --> 00:01:02,090
[slow electronic music]
24
00:01:02,174 --> 00:01:04,524
Damn.
25
00:01:04,677 --> 00:01:07,037
[upbeat music]
26
00:01:07,121 --> 00:01:10,265
[dogs barking melodically]
27
00:01:10,349 --> 00:01:17,546
[♪ ♪]
28
00:01:19,455 --> 00:01:22,691
[cats and dogs vocalizing]
29
00:01:22,861 --> 00:01:29,516
[♪ ♪]
30
00:01:33,589 --> 00:01:35,589
*HOUSEBROKEN*
Season 01 Episode 03
31
00:01:35,674 --> 00:01:37,674
Episode Title: "Who's Wild?"
Aired on: June 14, 2021.
32
00:01:38,043 --> 00:01:41,312
[snoring]
Mm.
33
00:01:41,554 --> 00:01:43,907
And how much does
the French horn cost?
34
00:01:43,991 --> 00:01:47,302
Uh-huh. And do you let
customers play them or...?
35
00:01:47,386 --> 00:01:49,471
Oh, yeah, of course, of course.
36
00:01:49,555 --> 00:01:51,097
[chuckles]
37
00:01:51,181 --> 00:01:52,706
[object clatters]
38
00:01:53,892 --> 00:01:56,811
[dramatic music]
39
00:01:56,895 --> 00:01:57,760
[♪ ♪]
40
00:01:57,845 --> 00:01:59,205
[object clatters]
41
00:01:59,775 --> 00:02:02,228
[gasps]
Oh, Coyote.
42
00:02:02,611 --> 00:02:04,843
[electronic dance music]
43
00:02:04,995 --> 00:02:11,850
[♪ ♪]
44
00:02:16,190 --> 00:02:17,885
Whoa.
45
00:02:18,250 --> 00:02:22,020
[♪ ♪]
46
00:02:22,105 --> 00:02:24,807
[munching]
47
00:02:24,892 --> 00:02:26,916
My garbage.
I'm here... me.
48
00:02:27,001 --> 00:02:29,472
- [hisses]
- Oh, you're a raccoon.
49
00:02:29,557 --> 00:02:31,029
Well, you seem disappointed.
50
00:02:31,113 --> 00:02:32,847
Expecting somebody else?
51
00:02:32,931 --> 00:02:34,339
What?
No.
52
00:02:34,424 --> 00:02:36,149
You know there's a coyote
in the area.
53
00:02:36,301 --> 00:02:38,043
A real sexy,
dangerous one, too.
54
00:02:38,202 --> 00:02:39,294
- Really?
- [car passing by]
55
00:02:39,430 --> 00:02:40,789
Did you hear that?
What was that?
56
00:02:40,881 --> 00:02:42,292
I'll bite its danglies.
57
00:02:42,377 --> 00:02:43,776
My garbage.
Me, mine.
58
00:02:43,861 --> 00:02:46,907
You seem a little anxious.
Maybe I can help you with that.
59
00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:50,198
Yeah?
How are you gonna help me?
60
00:02:50,282 --> 00:02:53,551
Wow, oh, your paws.
They are hands.
61
00:02:53,635 --> 00:02:57,760
- Oh, these bad boys?
- Wow.
62
00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:00,057
So I run a group therapy.
63
00:03:00,142 --> 00:03:02,526
Animals get together
and share their struggles.
64
00:03:02,611 --> 00:03:05,396
And I just... I think you would
really benefit from it.
65
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:06,738
What do you get out of this?
66
00:03:06,890 --> 00:03:10,309
I get the satisfaction
of helping other animals.
67
00:03:10,393 --> 00:03:11,736
Plus, it's gotten kind of dull
68
00:03:11,820 --> 00:03:14,581
and a feral trash bandit
might spice things up.
69
00:03:14,666 --> 00:03:16,833
I'd rather get run over
by a Mommy Smusher.
70
00:03:16,917 --> 00:03:18,076
- A car?
- [hisses]
71
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:19,561
I won't do it.
Go away.
72
00:03:19,645 --> 00:03:21,920
Okay, okay.
Well, you're in a mood,
73
00:03:22,072 --> 00:03:23,507
but if you change your mind,
74
00:03:23,591 --> 00:03:26,024
we meet
in this house right here.
75
00:03:26,109 --> 00:03:29,237
Wait, you're inviting me
inside the house
76
00:03:29,321 --> 00:03:32,453
with a door and a shower
and a fireplace?
77
00:03:32,538 --> 00:03:34,024
- Yes.
- Let me ask you this.
78
00:03:34,109 --> 00:03:37,010
Who has weird little hands
and will be there?
79
00:03:37,381 --> 00:03:39,698
Me.
80
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:44,107
He seemed so scared,
but I reached him.
81
00:03:44,278 --> 00:03:45,587
A wild animal.
82
00:03:45,671 --> 00:03:48,347
It was so thrilling.
Don't eat that sock, Chief.
83
00:03:48,431 --> 00:03:50,699
What? No.
Eat a what?
84
00:03:50,784 --> 00:03:53,094
This is Jill's, and I... what?
85
00:03:53,178 --> 00:03:54,361
No.
Come on.
86
00:03:54,513 --> 00:03:56,529
Anyway, keep talking
about your boring thing.
87
00:03:56,682 --> 00:03:59,768
- I saw a raccoon.
- Ooh, which raccoon was it?
88
00:03:59,852 --> 00:04:01,102
I don't know.
They all look the same.
89
00:04:01,186 --> 00:04:03,730
- Species-ist.
- No.
90
00:04:03,814 --> 00:04:06,798
I mean, you know, they all have
that mask over their eyes.
91
00:04:06,950 --> 00:04:08,367
Mm-hmm.
Sure.
92
00:04:08,451 --> 00:04:10,877
And, yes, while he may be
technically wild,
93
00:04:11,029 --> 00:04:15,466
like a possum or, well,
I don't know, like a coyote,
94
00:04:15,550 --> 00:04:17,619
does that mean
we cannot form bonds?
95
00:04:17,703 --> 00:04:18,810
- Honey.
- No.
96
00:04:18,961 --> 00:04:20,080
Oh, no.
I don't want to smell it.
97
00:04:20,164 --> 00:04:21,980
The raccoon
can shake things up.
98
00:04:22,132 --> 00:04:23,567
Exhilarating, right?
99
00:04:23,651 --> 00:04:25,718
He was just sitting there
on our trash can,
100
00:04:25,802 --> 00:04:27,645
eating chicken on the bone?
101
00:04:27,729 --> 00:04:29,906
I wish I could eat chicken
on the bone.
102
00:04:29,990 --> 00:04:31,299
Well, you can't.
103
00:04:31,383 --> 00:04:33,542
No socks
and no chicken on the bone.
104
00:04:33,627 --> 00:04:34,969
The bones will choke you.
105
00:04:35,196 --> 00:04:38,798
That's why Jill feeds us
delicious chicken from a can.
106
00:04:39,804 --> 00:04:41,861
- We eat it mushed.
- Yes, we do.
107
00:04:41,945 --> 00:04:44,455
- And we love it.
- Oh.
108
00:04:44,539 --> 00:04:46,716
All right.
Now let me smell that paw.
109
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,054
[sniffing]
Ooh, disgusting.
110
00:04:49,139 --> 00:04:51,179
I know, right?
111
00:04:53,565 --> 00:04:55,558
I don't hear can opening.
112
00:04:55,642 --> 00:04:56,790
Why?
[gags]
113
00:04:56,875 --> 00:04:58,804
What is that smell?
114
00:04:58,889 --> 00:05:00,867
Excuse me?
Daddy?
115
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,619
Brett?
There have been mistake.
116
00:05:02,704 --> 00:05:05,035
I think you put kitty litter
in my food bowl.
117
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:09,115
- Tabitha hates her new food.
- She'll eat when she's hungry.
118
00:05:09,489 --> 00:05:11,989
Senior food for old cats.
119
00:05:12,084 --> 00:05:14,002
And, you know, I am gangster,
you know this.
120
00:05:14,086 --> 00:05:18,731
I'm very beautiful, classy,
but step to me, I will cut you.
121
00:05:18,815 --> 00:05:20,360
- Are you a cat?
- [gasps]
122
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,657
- Oh, my.
- Excuse me?
123
00:05:22,743 --> 00:05:24,260
Oh, my mistake.
I'm sorry.
124
00:05:24,453 --> 00:05:26,739
- Should I be quiet?
- No, rip into her.
125
00:05:26,823 --> 00:05:28,016
That's what
group therapy's about.
126
00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:29,833
If you're hungry,
why don't you just go
127
00:05:29,917 --> 00:05:32,844
kill a bird
and eat it like a cat?
128
00:05:32,996 --> 00:05:34,437
Whoa, whoa.
Shots fired.
129
00:05:34,589 --> 00:05:36,507
I don't know what you're
laughing about, piggy.
130
00:05:36,591 --> 00:05:39,752
Apparently this guy went
to market and had roast beef.
131
00:05:39,836 --> 00:05:40,944
All right, that's not...
132
00:05:41,095 --> 00:05:42,421
I don't think
we need to go there.
133
00:05:42,505 --> 00:05:44,090
I mean, come on,
this guy's boinking a shoe.
134
00:05:44,174 --> 00:05:46,942
This guy is
boinking his fiancée.
135
00:05:47,026 --> 00:05:49,053
- Locking it down!
- Uh, what?
136
00:05:49,137 --> 00:05:53,023
She may not be the bride that
Grandmere dreamt of for me,
137
00:05:53,107 --> 00:05:54,116
but...
138
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,118
[moaning]
139
00:05:56,202 --> 00:05:57,752
Marry me.
140
00:05:59,856 --> 00:06:01,716
I wanted to tell you
last session,
141
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,552
but apparently
it wasn't new enough for you.
142
00:06:04,636 --> 00:06:06,128
Whoa.
Here I thought the thing
143
00:06:06,212 --> 00:06:08,379
with the umbrella
would be the biggest freak.
144
00:06:08,531 --> 00:06:11,634
Ha, you are new around here.
145
00:06:11,718 --> 00:06:13,135
Ew.
Honey.
146
00:06:13,219 --> 00:06:14,719
This is different. Isn't it?
147
00:06:14,871 --> 00:06:18,481
Our new member has a unique way
of communicating.
148
00:06:18,633 --> 00:06:19,724
Provocative, yes?
149
00:06:19,876 --> 00:06:22,962
- Slightly intriguing.
- What, this guy?
150
00:06:23,046 --> 00:06:26,315
- Yeah, I'm wild.
- I'm pretty wild, too, dude.
151
00:06:26,399 --> 00:06:28,733
No collar.
No depth perception.
152
00:06:28,885 --> 00:06:30,986
My worms have worms.
153
00:06:31,070 --> 00:06:34,657
Oh, cool.
Hey, do you sleep in a house?
154
00:06:34,741 --> 00:06:37,143
- Yes, but...
- Why, yes.
155
00:06:37,227 --> 00:06:41,422
I would like to dance with you,
Catrick Swayze.
156
00:06:41,506 --> 00:06:44,741
I don't think you're asking
the right questions.
157
00:06:44,825 --> 00:06:46,502
Tame.
So tame.
158
00:06:46,586 --> 00:06:48,753
We may not be wild, but that
doesn't mean life's
159
00:06:48,905 --> 00:06:50,172
all kibbles and bits.
160
00:06:50,256 --> 00:06:52,757
I'm constantly shuttled
between my mom's condo
161
00:06:52,909 --> 00:06:54,602
and my father's craftsman.
162
00:06:54,686 --> 00:06:56,519
And I'm handled very roughly
163
00:06:56,671 --> 00:06:58,255
by the children
in my classroom.
164
00:06:58,339 --> 00:07:01,000
All I heard was you have
two homes,
165
00:07:01,084 --> 00:07:03,853
and you're getting
a world-class education.
166
00:07:03,937 --> 00:07:06,172
You complain you don't
get touched or fed enough
167
00:07:06,256 --> 00:07:10,009
or touched or fed too much,
all while sitting here
168
00:07:10,093 --> 00:07:14,789
on a soft log
with winter air in summer!
169
00:07:14,873 --> 00:07:17,199
That's sitting on a couch
in air conditioning.
170
00:07:17,283 --> 00:07:20,043
Must be nice.
171
00:07:22,547 --> 00:07:25,708
Bravo.
Oh, I like your vim and vigor.
172
00:07:25,792 --> 00:07:29,695
Now, let me ask you something.
First response, best response.
173
00:07:29,779 --> 00:07:31,380
Would you be my best man?
174
00:07:31,464 --> 00:07:33,975
- What the hell, Shel?
- Well, that flew by.
175
00:07:34,059 --> 00:07:36,218
That is how
you spice things up.
176
00:07:36,302 --> 00:07:38,220
Whoo-whoo.
[giggles]
177
00:07:38,304 --> 00:07:39,722
Hey, man.
178
00:07:39,806 --> 00:07:41,207
What do you want, cat?
179
00:07:41,291 --> 00:07:45,643
Oh, nothing, just, you know,
walking on the wild side,
180
00:07:45,795 --> 00:07:46,712
like you are.
181
00:07:46,796 --> 00:07:48,489
Yeah,
but you're walking home.
182
00:07:48,573 --> 00:07:50,065
The streets are my home.
183
00:07:50,149 --> 00:07:51,567
Oh, you think I'm not tough?
184
00:07:51,651 --> 00:07:53,161
I ate my brother in the womb.
185
00:07:53,245 --> 00:07:55,721
- Who didn't?
- Uh, my brother.
186
00:07:55,805 --> 00:07:57,488
Listen, you want to go?
187
00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:00,168
Okay, buddy.
Let's dance.
188
00:08:00,252 --> 00:08:02,752
[both hiss]
189
00:08:04,481 --> 00:08:05,414
[grunts weakly]
190
00:08:05,498 --> 00:08:07,799
- [scoffs] Lame.
- [shouts]
191
00:08:13,425 --> 00:08:15,068
Oh, my God.
192
00:08:15,153 --> 00:08:18,624
Look, that disgusting raccoon
is attacking that cute kitty.
193
00:08:18,709 --> 00:08:21,679
Come here, sweet guy.
I'm rescuing you.
194
00:08:22,275 --> 00:08:23,458
No, no, no, no.
195
00:08:23,543 --> 00:08:26,911
I'm the wild one.
I'm attacking him.
196
00:08:27,237 --> 00:08:28,586
[chuckles]
197
00:08:28,671 --> 00:08:31,333
- Activate the phone tree.
- Don't make me call Linda.
198
00:08:31,418 --> 00:08:33,426
This is bigger than
that thing with you and Linda.
199
00:08:33,510 --> 00:08:34,760
[cell phone ringing]
200
00:08:34,844 --> 00:08:36,349
- Hello, Jeanie.
- Don't start.
201
00:08:36,434 --> 00:08:38,880
Denise found a gray male
on the street being mauled
202
00:08:38,965 --> 00:08:40,456
by a disgusting raccoon.
203
00:08:40,608 --> 00:08:42,366
I'm on it.
Barbara, it's Linda.
204
00:08:42,519 --> 00:08:43,878
Pam, Barbara.
205
00:08:43,962 --> 00:08:45,438
- Garrett, it's Pam. Listen...
- Alex, It's Garrett.
206
00:08:45,522 --> 00:08:46,881
He's male.
207
00:08:46,965 --> 00:08:48,736
Fran, I would take him,
but Pam says you have a slot.
208
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,136
Did Pam say I had a slot?
209
00:08:50,221 --> 00:08:52,419
I do not have a slot.
Maybe I could take one more.
210
00:08:52,504 --> 00:08:53,888
Is he hurt? Is he cute?
How hurt and cute is he?
211
00:08:53,972 --> 00:08:56,360
No, Fran. That's enough.
212
00:08:56,445 --> 00:08:59,383
I want our life back.
I miss our showers.
213
00:08:59,536 --> 00:09:00,786
No, this is a mistake!
214
00:09:00,870 --> 00:09:02,621
I belong to the streets.
215
00:09:02,705 --> 00:09:04,480
[chuckles]
[car door closes]
216
00:09:04,632 --> 00:09:06,899
Tell my story!
217
00:09:13,531 --> 00:09:16,986
Who says wild beasts and pets
can't coexist, huh?
218
00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:19,329
Prejudiced, small-minded
animals, that's who.
219
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:20,973
Me?
I'm collar blind.
220
00:09:21,172 --> 00:09:22,825
Um, actually,
collar blindness
221
00:09:22,909 --> 00:09:24,994
is a counterproductive
ideology.
222
00:09:25,078 --> 00:09:26,420
God, I wish
I could hold a pen.
223
00:09:26,504 --> 00:09:28,317
I could write a book
about this.
224
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:29,950
I know what
this is really about.
225
00:09:30,035 --> 00:09:30,832
What?
226
00:09:30,917 --> 00:09:33,544
Just because I don't
fertilize eggs inside my body
227
00:09:33,629 --> 00:09:35,364
doesn't mean
I can't do girl talk.
228
00:09:35,457 --> 00:09:38,121
No, I'm just trying to shake
the group out of their rut.
229
00:09:38,207 --> 00:09:40,551
I'd like to shake something
into my rut.
230
00:09:40,644 --> 00:09:41,728
That's not girl talk.
231
00:09:41,812 --> 00:09:43,304
That's not what your mom
said last night.
232
00:09:43,388 --> 00:09:45,048
[chuckles]
All right, we're finished here.
233
00:09:45,132 --> 00:09:46,733
Is it wet in here,
or is it just me?
234
00:09:46,817 --> 00:09:48,218
- Hey.
- Nothing.
235
00:09:48,302 --> 00:09:51,505
Oh, great.
I'm gonna go get in some steps.
236
00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:55,058
And I'll be here
acting totally normal.
237
00:09:55,402 --> 00:09:57,286
Phew.
That was close.
238
00:09:57,371 --> 00:10:00,159
She's gone.
Now eat me already.
239
00:10:00,244 --> 00:10:01,518
I really don't
think I should.
240
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,658
I'm just saying I still
taste a little bit like foot.
241
00:10:04,839 --> 00:10:06,089
[whining]
242
00:10:06,221 --> 00:10:07,748
[imitates whining]
243
00:10:07,833 --> 00:10:10,500
Ugh, that's what you sound
like right now.
244
00:10:13,727 --> 00:10:15,017
Ugh!
245
00:10:15,102 --> 00:10:16,536
I can catch a bird.
246
00:10:16,621 --> 00:10:18,948
I am not 'fraid
of little blood.
247
00:10:19,033 --> 00:10:20,693
I am from tigers.
248
00:10:20,838 --> 00:10:23,699
Other animals
tremble in fear as I pass.
249
00:10:23,783 --> 00:10:25,282
I am queen of jungle.
250
00:10:25,433 --> 00:10:27,761
I am predator.
I am like...
251
00:10:27,845 --> 00:10:29,612
[growling weakly]
252
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:32,498
[birds chirping]
253
00:10:33,793 --> 00:10:35,952
My prey is in sight.
254
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:38,213
I am crouching.
I'm stalking.
255
00:10:38,297 --> 00:10:39,588
I am stealth.
256
00:10:40,615 --> 00:10:41,791
[grunts]
257
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:44,110
I climb with all the...
258
00:10:44,194 --> 00:10:46,947
[grunts]
Strength of all my...
259
00:10:47,031 --> 00:10:49,891
[grunting]
Ancestors
260
00:10:49,975 --> 00:10:52,953
and the enemies
that they have...
261
00:10:53,037 --> 00:10:54,978
slaughtered.
[grunts]
262
00:10:55,130 --> 00:10:56,806
[panting]
263
00:10:56,890 --> 00:11:00,400
[grunting]
264
00:11:02,304 --> 00:11:03,728
Oh, no, a cat!
265
00:11:03,881 --> 00:11:05,823
Mom, it wants to eat me!
266
00:11:05,974 --> 00:11:07,150
Work it out!
267
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,636
You have any last words,
bird?
268
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,829
Cheep-cheep?
[chuckles evilly]
269
00:11:11,980 --> 00:11:14,249
It's getting so close.
What am I gonna do?
270
00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:17,327
If only my wings could create
downward air pressure and...
271
00:11:17,411 --> 00:11:19,503
Oh, yeah.
Bye!
272
00:11:19,661 --> 00:11:22,471
[grunting]
273
00:11:25,493 --> 00:11:27,353
I just humiliated you,
and I don't even know
274
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:31,767
- how to chew my own food yet.
- [yowls]
275
00:11:31,851 --> 00:11:33,435
Or control my bowels.
276
00:11:33,519 --> 00:11:34,560
Ugh.
277
00:11:36,856 --> 00:11:38,348
[baby babbling]
278
00:11:38,432 --> 00:11:41,692
Keep moving, Pug.
279
00:11:41,843 --> 00:11:43,169
Cat adoption.
280
00:11:43,253 --> 00:11:45,604
No fee, no application,
no home check.
281
00:11:45,756 --> 00:11:47,023
Just take a cat.
282
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:48,773
Elsa?
Hey!
283
00:11:48,926 --> 00:11:50,176
Elsa!
Help.
284
00:11:50,260 --> 00:11:52,211
The Gray One?
Is that you?
285
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,864
Why are you dressed
like the ghost of an orphan?
286
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,699
And what is in your eye?
287
00:11:56,783 --> 00:11:57,729
It's a marble.
288
00:11:57,814 --> 00:11:59,608
Fran's husband
is a glass blower.
289
00:11:59,693 --> 00:12:03,038
Pipe maker... it doesn't matter.
You gotta get me out of here.
290
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,623
Pickles, who are you
talking to?
291
00:12:04,775 --> 00:12:08,468
Call me Pickles one more
time, and I... my eye.
292
00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:12,187
What are you doing in there?
293
00:12:12,272 --> 00:12:15,142
Raccoon and I were really
going at it in the street.
294
00:12:15,227 --> 00:12:18,388
The next thing you know,
I'm getting rescued.
295
00:12:18,472 --> 00:12:19,555
I've been through hell.
296
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,566
They bathed me.
They trimmed my crusties.
297
00:12:22,717 --> 00:12:23,819
Oh, The Gray One.
298
00:12:23,903 --> 00:12:26,729
I have to go!
I'm working!
299
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:29,549
They took my worms!
300
00:12:30,408 --> 00:12:33,144
Oh, well, we seem to have
a little more space today.
301
00:12:33,228 --> 00:12:34,745
Don't mind if I do.
302
00:12:34,896 --> 00:12:36,079
[chuckling]
Uh-huh.
303
00:12:36,231 --> 00:12:38,741
Anybody seen
The Gray One or Tabitha? No?
304
00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:40,727
Okay, well, let's... I mean,
I hope they're okay.
305
00:12:40,811 --> 00:12:42,395
I guess we should
just start, right?
306
00:12:42,479 --> 00:12:43,161
Yeah.
307
00:12:43,313 --> 00:12:45,173
Guys. I saw The... Oh.
308
00:12:45,257 --> 00:12:47,901
Today is the day
you start on time.
309
00:12:47,985 --> 00:12:49,426
That's interesting,
310
00:12:49,577 --> 00:12:52,589
but I saw The Gray One on Tiny
Fruit and Toothpick Street.
311
00:12:52,673 --> 00:12:55,361
- Is he okay?
- No, he's not okay.
312
00:12:55,446 --> 00:12:56,926
Is he, Raccoon?
313
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,912
What?
How should I know?
314
00:12:58,996 --> 00:13:02,023
- Because you were fighting.
- We were not fighting.
315
00:13:02,107 --> 00:13:04,107
I was attacking him
to make a point,
316
00:13:04,259 --> 00:13:05,768
and then
the no-hair-bear took him.
317
00:13:05,852 --> 00:13:08,346
A human took him?
Why didn't you tell us?
318
00:13:08,430 --> 00:13:11,107
Raccoon, this group
is like a family...
319
00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:13,517
A pack or in your case, a gaze.
320
00:13:13,601 --> 00:13:16,954
Yes, yes, I learned the word
for a group of raccoons.
321
00:13:17,105 --> 00:13:19,040
Only non-raccoons
use that word.
322
00:13:19,124 --> 00:13:21,291
Here we care for each other.
323
00:13:21,443 --> 00:13:25,036
We take care of each other so
that we can live better lives.
324
00:13:25,189 --> 00:13:27,290
Come on, poodle.
325
00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:30,041
Life is just eat, sleep,
try to make more animals
326
00:13:30,194 --> 00:13:31,961
by putting the thing
in the soft place.
327
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,045
Soft place?
Ugh.
328
00:13:34,198 --> 00:13:36,892
And that's it.
Every animal for themselves.
329
00:13:36,976 --> 00:13:39,135
You're only acting like this
because you aren't used
330
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:40,637
to being cared for.
331
00:13:40,721 --> 00:13:42,138
We care for you.
332
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,640
I don't.
I just want to watch you drink
333
00:13:43,724 --> 00:13:45,625
my filthy bowl water
off the floor.
334
00:13:45,709 --> 00:13:47,402
- Bubbles!
- Glug-glug, bitch.
335
00:13:47,486 --> 00:13:50,146
You don't care about me.
You want to tame me.
336
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,966
I'm just a test run
for another wild animal.
337
00:13:53,050 --> 00:13:56,970
[gasps]
I-I have... I have no idea
338
00:13:57,054 --> 00:13:58,403
what you're talking about.
339
00:13:58,555 --> 00:14:02,250
Yeah, I know your type...
Bored house pet, restless.
340
00:14:02,334 --> 00:14:04,827
You seemed real disappointed
the other night
341
00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:06,146
when you saw me.
342
00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:08,072
Who were you hoping to see?
343
00:14:08,156 --> 00:14:09,983
Power vacuum.
Okay.
344
00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:11,167
It's time to shine.
345
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:13,002
[grunts]
That's enough.
346
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,262
I think it's time you leave.
347
00:14:14,346 --> 00:14:16,080
Yep, I think
you've overstayed
348
00:14:16,164 --> 00:14:17,340
your welcome, friend.
349
00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,175
A real Scotty Caan move.
350
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:21,814
- I said get out!
- Okay.
351
00:14:21,899 --> 00:14:25,152
I'll show myself
to the extra-tiny glass door.
352
00:14:25,237 --> 00:14:27,033
- Window.
- [smooches]
353
00:14:27,802 --> 00:14:29,150
Ugh.
354
00:14:30,486 --> 00:14:32,172
Pew, pew, pew, pew.
355
00:14:32,256 --> 00:14:34,072
[exhaling sharply]
356
00:14:35,603 --> 00:14:39,096
I cannot wait to hear
his best-man speech.
357
00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:45,783
I'm not ready to go.
358
00:14:45,877 --> 00:14:48,557
There is still so much
I have not done...
359
00:14:48,642 --> 00:14:51,207
Like catch the little red light
that dances on the floor
360
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,209
and on the walls sometimes.
361
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:56,137
You win, little red light.
362
00:14:56,221 --> 00:14:58,889
You win.
[siren wails]
363
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,966
[gasps]
Red light, you are here?
364
00:15:02,119 --> 00:15:04,479
[grunting]
365
00:15:04,564 --> 00:15:06,039
Oh, my God.
366
00:15:06,123 --> 00:15:08,374
- You're beautiful.
- [meows]
367
00:15:08,458 --> 00:15:10,710
Hey, Devon,
you gotta get up here.
368
00:15:10,794 --> 00:15:12,235
She is exquisite.
369
00:15:12,387 --> 00:15:14,063
Saving creatures
this gorgeous
370
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,974
makes the risks
of our job worthwhile.
371
00:15:17,058 --> 00:15:19,576
These two strippers love me.
372
00:15:19,727 --> 00:15:21,070
Come on, bitch.
373
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,538
- Get in the thing.
- [gasps]
374
00:15:26,901 --> 00:15:29,912
Ah, wet food.
375
00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:31,588
Catch me, Daddy Stelios.
376
00:15:31,688 --> 00:15:32,872
[purrs]
377
00:15:35,054 --> 00:15:37,630
[whining]
378
00:15:37,715 --> 00:15:42,382
♪ Sock, sock, so delicious ♪
379
00:15:42,672 --> 00:15:47,109
♪ Oh, no, no consequences ♪
380
00:15:47,335 --> 00:15:49,719
♪ Eat a sock ♪
381
00:15:50,268 --> 00:15:51,929
Well, I tried.
382
00:15:52,749 --> 00:15:55,282
The Gray One, we're so glad
to have you back.
383
00:15:55,367 --> 00:15:57,952
- How did you finally get home?
- They put me up for adoption.
384
00:15:58,036 --> 00:16:00,304
Folks, our stray of day
today is Pickles.
385
00:16:00,388 --> 00:16:02,232
- Uh, he's a male...
- [screeching]
386
00:16:02,316 --> 00:16:04,459
Cat... Pickles, no! Stop!
Come here.
387
00:16:04,543 --> 00:16:06,225
Ah! Oh, damn it!
388
00:16:06,378 --> 00:16:07,628
I want that one.
389
00:16:07,712 --> 00:16:09,313
Doesn't she know
that's The Gray One?
390
00:16:09,397 --> 00:16:12,483
Other cats,
we got to save that cat.
391
00:16:12,567 --> 00:16:15,227
- It's a cat.
- She does not.
392
00:16:15,311 --> 00:16:20,141
Ah, yeah. I think I'll be
unpacking this one for a while.
393
00:16:20,225 --> 00:16:24,921
I'm sure you all notice
my absence, but I am fine.
394
00:16:25,005 --> 00:16:26,163
No more questions.
395
00:16:26,247 --> 00:16:27,672
Listen, I want to apologize
396
00:16:27,824 --> 00:16:30,151
to all of you
for bringing in the Raccoon.
397
00:16:30,235 --> 00:16:33,178
I was just hoping to push us
out of our comfort zones...
398
00:16:33,329 --> 00:16:34,430
Me especially.
399
00:16:34,514 --> 00:16:35,974
You did teach us
a valuable lesson
400
00:16:36,058 --> 00:16:37,256
about not trusting raccoons.
401
00:16:37,409 --> 00:16:39,435
Or therapists.
Am I right?
402
00:16:39,519 --> 00:16:40,845
She's terrible.
403
00:16:40,929 --> 00:16:42,105
Wedding update...
404
00:16:42,189 --> 00:16:44,689
Lindsay's cousin
got donated to Goodwill.
405
00:16:44,841 --> 00:16:48,169
So, if anyone's interested
in the maid-of-honor posish...
406
00:16:48,261 --> 00:16:49,944
And we're back.
407
00:16:50,088 --> 00:16:52,105
[thunder booms]
408
00:16:52,257 --> 00:16:54,525
[snoring]
409
00:16:54,609 --> 00:16:56,442
So, if I get the bundle,
410
00:16:56,536 --> 00:17:00,014
you guys will throw
in the landline for free.
411
00:17:00,098 --> 00:17:01,866
[door opens]
412
00:17:01,950 --> 00:17:03,458
Huh?
413
00:17:05,212 --> 00:17:08,205
[dramatic music]
414
00:17:08,289 --> 00:17:11,216
Raccoon, what are... what...
What... what are you doing here?
415
00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:13,377
Are you okay?
416
00:17:13,461 --> 00:17:16,306
[sobbing]
417
00:17:16,390 --> 00:17:19,057
No, no, I'm not okay.
418
00:17:19,208 --> 00:17:21,218
I'm so sorry about earlier.
419
00:17:21,302 --> 00:17:22,961
I know you were
only trying to help.
420
00:17:23,045 --> 00:17:27,399
I just mess things up
for myself all the time.
421
00:17:27,550 --> 00:17:32,063
I am just so scared
of no-hair-bear...
422
00:17:32,147 --> 00:17:35,399
I mean humans?
Is that right?
423
00:17:35,483 --> 00:17:38,235
Yes, it is.
And I understand.
424
00:17:38,319 --> 00:17:40,620
I'm trying, you know.
425
00:17:40,705 --> 00:17:41,755
I really am.
426
00:17:41,839 --> 00:17:45,168
It's just I never knew my dad!
427
00:17:45,252 --> 00:17:48,079
Yes, it's okay, Raccoon.
428
00:17:48,163 --> 00:17:49,495
I knew I was reaching you.
429
00:17:49,648 --> 00:17:51,566
You know our environment
does so much
430
00:17:51,650 --> 00:17:55,593
to determine...
[thunder booms]
431
00:17:59,841 --> 00:18:01,503
That's Jill's.
432
00:18:01,588 --> 00:18:04,464
Sorry, poodle, I'm tired
of waiting for the bones.
433
00:18:04,549 --> 00:18:06,771
It's time for Raccoon
to get the meat.
434
00:18:06,881 --> 00:18:08,099
Wait a minute.
435
00:18:08,183 --> 00:18:10,101
You never wanted
my help at all.
436
00:18:10,185 --> 00:18:11,586
You just wanted the chicken.
437
00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:15,606
That's why you unlatched
the tiny glass door... window!
438
00:18:15,690 --> 00:18:19,951
Get away from Jill's
free-range rotisserie chicken!
439
00:18:20,102 --> 00:18:22,205
Ah!
[grunting]
440
00:18:22,289 --> 00:18:25,208
[growling, barking]
441
00:18:25,292 --> 00:18:27,459
[raccoons chittering]
442
00:18:30,112 --> 00:18:33,506
[growling]
443
00:18:35,135 --> 00:18:37,128
Go ahead.
444
00:18:37,212 --> 00:18:38,446
Go on, do it.
445
00:18:38,530 --> 00:18:40,965
Taste blood for the first time
in your life.
446
00:18:41,049 --> 00:18:43,716
[growling]
[thunder booms]
447
00:18:43,868 --> 00:18:45,136
No.
448
00:18:45,220 --> 00:18:47,246
No, you and your creepy
little hands aren't worth it.
449
00:18:47,330 --> 00:18:49,957
I can't believe I thought
you had anything to give.
450
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:52,643
All you do is take.
You think you're wild,
451
00:18:52,727 --> 00:18:56,555
but you're actually the most
dependent animal I've ever met.
452
00:18:56,639 --> 00:18:58,299
Get out of my house...
453
00:18:58,765 --> 00:19:01,875
after you put the chicken back.
454
00:19:03,555 --> 00:19:05,914
[grunting]
455
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,405
Later, dog.
456
00:19:13,489 --> 00:19:14,907
[sighs]
457
00:19:14,991 --> 00:19:16,926
[sniffing]
458
00:19:17,010 --> 00:19:18,509
I smell chicken.
459
00:19:18,594 --> 00:19:19,752
What happened?
460
00:19:19,837 --> 00:19:22,022
- Chief, we can't eat chicken.
- [groans]
461
00:19:22,106 --> 00:19:24,191
Okay.
462
00:19:24,275 --> 00:19:26,434
Wait.
463
00:19:32,934 --> 00:19:34,335
Oh, man.
464
00:19:34,419 --> 00:19:37,855
Okay.
Going wild, huh?
465
00:19:37,939 --> 00:19:39,864
[chuckles]
A little.
466
00:19:41,426 --> 00:19:44,361
Oh, my God, this is amazing.
467
00:19:44,445 --> 00:19:45,611
Delicious.
468
00:19:45,705 --> 00:19:48,032
Well, you deserve it
for not eating that sock.
469
00:19:48,116 --> 00:19:50,868
Yeah, that was tough.
470
00:19:50,952 --> 00:19:54,188
- Chief.
- Yeah?
471
00:19:54,272 --> 00:19:56,729
- You're handsome.
- Yo, yo, yo, yo.
472
00:19:56,814 --> 00:19:58,791
Where my gaze at?
473
00:19:58,943 --> 00:20:01,799
Oh, unbelievable.
474
00:20:01,884 --> 00:20:03,370
It happens every time.
475
00:20:03,455 --> 00:20:06,596
"Oh, there won't be
any dogs there, we swear."
476
00:20:06,681 --> 00:20:08,885
Well, joke's on me, right?
477
00:20:08,970 --> 00:20:11,706
Anyway, I won't take up
any more of your time.
478
00:20:11,857 --> 00:20:14,966
You two seem like
a lovely couple.
479
00:20:15,051 --> 00:20:17,431
- I could help him.
- No.
480
00:20:19,904 --> 00:20:23,256
[laidback music]
481
00:20:23,341 --> 00:20:24,775
[♪ ♪]
482
00:20:25,196 --> 00:20:27,474
Ah, just give him
a little meat.
483
00:20:32,327 --> 00:20:33,577
- [sniffs]
- Hey.
484
00:20:33,661 --> 00:20:35,875
Uh, I think
that was meant for me.
485
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,045
Pretty sure it was
meant for me.
486
00:20:38,142 --> 00:20:40,605
No, no.
See, we had a whole thing.
487
00:20:40,697 --> 00:20:42,975
And then she said
a lot of hurtful things and...
488
00:20:43,265 --> 00:20:45,038
Okay, you eat the chicken,
489
00:20:45,156 --> 00:20:46,390
and then I'll eat you.
490
00:20:46,474 --> 00:20:48,507
Either way,
I'm eating the chicken.
491
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:50,208
Pew.
492
00:20:50,622 --> 00:20:54,952
Let's get this party started!
493
00:20:56,668 --> 00:20:59,022
Again?
Really?
494
00:20:59,107 --> 00:21:02,285
Gah, my friends need to learn
how to communicate better.
495
00:21:02,507 --> 00:21:04,166
Why am I saddling you
with my problems?
496
00:21:04,250 --> 00:21:06,342
You're out here
enjoying the evening.
497
00:21:06,494 --> 00:21:10,021
[laughs] I don't want to bring
you down with my drama.
498
00:21:15,003 --> 00:21:16,554
That's nice, Jenna Gabby.