1
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,340
Here you go. I got that.
2
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:20,729
Oh, thank you.
You know, I can't lift things. I...
3
00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,147
I'm disabled!
4
00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,774
Oh. Yeah, I'm really sorry about that.
5
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,234
Oh, I was... I was kidding.
6
00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:28,570
Oh!
7
00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:30,905
Wait, what is there to do in Ojai anyway?
8
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:31,990
Oh, Ravi. Oh, sorry.
9
00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:34,909
It's sort of like nature,
but, like, make it rich.
10
00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:39,164
Oh, uh...
11
00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,708
Yeah, no. Don't worry about it. I got it.
12
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:44,252
Wouldn't want you to break a nail.
13
00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:45,712
Little bitches.
14
00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:47,130
Oh, also, just to warn you,
15
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:50,467
I chopped up all my credit cards
and put myself on a serious budget.
16
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,844
I'm determined to only spend $50
this weekend.
17
00:00:52,927 --> 00:00:54,888
I'm so proud of you.
18
00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:59,434
But, um, actually, we had 40 bucks
budgeted each for groceries, so I don't...
19
00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:01,519
Tight, tight, tight.
I'm not going outside.
20
00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:05,315
Oh, shoot. Did I forget my lip gloss?
21
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:08,276
Gosh, Kim, why is no one ready?
22
00:01:08,359 --> 00:01:11,196
- Why is no one ready?
- Why is no one ready?
23
00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:13,198
Okay, what's happening?
24
00:01:13,281 --> 00:01:16,409
- Why is everybody saying that?
- Ryan.
25
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:17,619
Explain please.
26
00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:21,623
We were doing Meryl Streep's iconic line
reading from Devil Wears Prada, and...
27
00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:25,293
We were trying to, but we can't do it,
because she's Meryl and a genius.
28
00:01:25,376 --> 00:01:28,338
- Right, yeah. Nah, I've never seen it.
- What?!
29
00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:30,256
Okay, sorry!
30
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,217
- He's been inside of me.
- I feel attacked.
31
00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:35,553
- Whoa! Just a straight man. Don't hurt me.
- You know what? It's fine.
32
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:38,431
It's what this trip is for,
to reach across and educate.
33
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:39,808
Uh-oh!
34
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:42,018
Found it! Let's go.
35
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,102
All right.
36
00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:47,857
Why?
Why is no one ready?
37
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,985
- Why is no one ready?
- Wow, this is like gay porn.
38
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:53,780
I'm gonna get it. I am going to get it.
39
00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:57,117
Let's go!
Gay porn. That's a compliment, right?
40
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,368
We love gay porn.
41
00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:15,009
What the fuck?
42
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:20,849
Okay, two twin beds.
43
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:24,269
How about you be Kabir, and I'll be Dasya?
44
00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:25,854
Or we could both be Dasya.
45
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:28,481
Then we would have an entire bed
just for our things.
46
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:31,234
- Which is very glamorous, don't you think?
- Maybe.
47
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:39,367
- Babe, you're kind of squishing me.
- Yeah?
48
00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:40,535
Okay.
49
00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:46,082
Sorry, um...
50
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,835
I need to do a wellness check on us.
Are we okay?
51
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:50,712
What? Yeah, of course.
52
00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:53,882
I just... I know we had a little bit
of a baby fight at prom, and...
53
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:56,050
Babe, we're fine.
54
00:02:56,134 --> 00:03:00,054
In fact, we're so fine that I'm fully
prepared to share a twin bed with you.
55
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:03,766
Like, right now?
56
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,060
Yeah. Like, really right now.
57
00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:07,984
Am I still squishing you?
58
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,376
Welcome to Casa Verde.
59
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:33,254
Wow! This is stunning.
60
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:36,299
- Yeah, well, I put a lot of love into her.
- Huh.
61
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,426
So, uh, what brings you to Carmel?
62
00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:41,596
Well, it's a little treat to myself.
63
00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:47,060
I'm 50, and I have never been away
by myself before.
64
00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:48,394
- Isn't that crazy?
- Hm.
65
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:51,940
So I thought I would maybe
go to a fancy dinner,
66
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,442
do a little dancing.
67
00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:57,237
Gonna use your pool.
I might even go shopping.
68
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,821
Do you know of a cute boutique?
69
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,490
Yeah, that all sounds great.
70
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:02,700
Listen, just one small thing.
71
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:07,163
My neighbors are kinda nosy,
so if anybody asks,
72
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,873
you're Jenna,
73
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,750
my cousin from Minnesota.
74
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:14,963
- Okay.
- Jenna from Minnesota.
75
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:17,590
Also, the TV doesn't work.
I disconnected the cable.
76
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:20,385
I don't need another way
for the government to watch me.
77
00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:22,553
Watch you do what?
78
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,223
I think I've said enough.
79
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:30,770
- Okay, you guys. One more question.
- Easy.
80
00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:34,357
Who's most likely
to experience paranormal activity?
81
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,275
- Oh!
- Oh, come on.
82
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:36,943
You wanna tell 'em the story?
83
00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:39,946
Oh, you mean the story
of how I really lost my virginity?
84
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:41,155
Did you fuck a ghost?
85
00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:42,239
No!
86
00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:44,325
He fucked me.
87
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,327
- What?
- He was huge!
88
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,288
Okay, we get it. You have herstory.
89
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,915
Now it's our turn,
and we're gonna beat your asses.
90
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:51,833
Good luck to you.
91
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:54,294
- Too masc?
- A little masc, but it was hot.
92
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,380
- Okay. First question.
- Okay.
93
00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,799
Who's most likely to get scammed?
94
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,720
- Oh, no points for you.
- What?
95
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:07,098
I almost joined Scientology because
they gave me a delicious free brunch.
96
00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:10,268
I actually joined Andrew Keegan's
beach cult in Venice for two weeks
97
00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:11,644
'cause everybody was so hot.
98
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,980
- He got a beach cult?
- Google it.
99
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:15,440
Okay, guys, moving on.
100
00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:21,904
Who's most likely to be clumsy-dumsy
and fall or break somethin'?
101
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:24,574
No point.
102
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:25,533
- What?
- I...
103
00:05:25,616 --> 00:05:28,161
Bitch, I'm disabled! I trip all the time.
104
00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:31,539
In dance, they called me "Butterfingers."
I got injured once a month.
105
00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:33,333
How can you be clumsy and a dancer?
106
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:35,960
- Okay, last question!
- Give us one more.
107
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:42,008
Which one of you is most likely
to win a dance competition?
108
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,094
- Ding, ding! There you go.
- Whoo!
109
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:48,306
You just gave that one to us,
but thank you.
110
00:05:48,389 --> 00:05:49,599
Well, we got it.
111
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:50,682
Huh.
112
00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:21,339
Sorry.
113
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:25,551
Oh my God, babe.
114
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:26,844
- I'm sorry.
- It's fine.
115
00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,721
- Just, fuck this bed.
- Fuck this bed.
116
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,057
Come here.
117
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,017
Oh, sorry. I hit you in the face.
118
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,811
- It's fine. I liked it.
- Okay.
119
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:50,909
I think...
120
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:52,912
I think I wanna top.
121
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:55,164
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
122
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:56,749
Is there, um, lube?
123
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:57,833
- Yes.
- Okay.
124
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,671
- Oh, okay.
- Look what I have.
125
00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:04,006
Okay.
126
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:11,388
Okay.
127
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:12,849
All right.
128
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,893
Okay.
129
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,314
- Am I in?
- Oh, you're in, babe.
130
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:21,524
Oh!
131
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:22,608
- I'm in.
- We're in.
132
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,569
- We're fully in. Oh!
- Oh!
133
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:31,826
- I think I'm gonna cum.
- Gimme all your cum.
134
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:33,828
- Oh, fuck yeah.
- Give it to me.
135
00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:42,670
That's my boy!
136
00:07:42,753 --> 00:07:44,839
Are you kidding me? You did it!
137
00:07:44,922 --> 00:07:47,467
- Thank you.
- I think you have a future in topping.
138
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,635
Oh, wow. That's so sweet.
139
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,637
I'm not sweet. I'm honest.
140
00:07:58,060 --> 00:07:58,978
Do you smell that?
141
00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:04,275
Is that...
142
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:06,485
Is that shit?
143
00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:08,069
Maybe.
144
00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:10,990
I'd have douched,
but I didn't know it was on the menu.
145
00:08:11,073 --> 00:08:12,742
Oh my God! Ew!
146
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,077
Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!
147
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,830
Oh my God, oh my God! Ew, ew, ew!
148
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,670
Honestly?
149
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:25,754
No notes.
150
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:30,009
Really? That's awesome,
'cause I got so many notes for myself.
151
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:34,847
I just wanted to make,
like, maybe less eye contact?
152
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:35,931
Yeah.
153
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:38,433
Okay.
154
00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,437
That was insane.
155
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,190
Topping? I know.
It's like a hug for your penis.
156
00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:46,484
No. You shitting on my dick.
157
00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:49,612
Well, congratulations. You have
an amazing, cooperative asshole.
158
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:52,865
But I've had a lot more sex than you,
so just trust me, okay?
159
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:54,825
- This happens a lot.
- Really?
160
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:57,036
Gosh, how often does it happen?
161
00:08:57,119 --> 00:09:01,707
I clean there regardless, no matter
what's on the sexual agenda, so...
162
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:05,503
Ryan, what are you trying to do here?
Make me feel bad? I'm sorry, okay?
163
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:09,549
When you weren't able to top me before,
I didn't make a huge deal about it.
164
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,385
Okay.
165
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,096
Do you want, like, a medal?
166
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,064
Oh, we're just... Separate beds.
167
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:33,739
Night. Love you.
168
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:36,700
Love you.
169
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:55,136
What do you wanna do today?
170
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:58,222
I did some Googling,
and there's a woman named Ingrid
171
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,850
who talks to you about your past lives
for $160 an hour.
172
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:04,186
Actually, I was feeling
inspired to write this morning,
173
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,897
so I think I'm gonna do that.
Is that cool?
174
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:10,610
I'll join you. I think I'm gonna
low-key start applying for new jobs.
175
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:14,488
- When do you think you'll be done?
- Hmm, not sure. Maybe, like, 1:00?
176
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:16,949
Okay. Have fun.
177
00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:19,619
It's writing. It's never fun.
178
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:23,497
There you go. Just a splash.
179
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:26,459
- What are you doing?
- Putting almond milk in your coffee.
180
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:29,253
- I didn't ask you to do that.
- I know.
181
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:33,633
But I know that you like it,
so I took initiative.
182
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:40,556
That was too couple-y a move, right?
Freaked you out?
183
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:45,269
Okay, well, maybe that just means
that it's time to let you know that, uh...
184
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,273
I might be down with that. You know?
185
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:51,359
You and I. Us.
186
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:54,028
Dating.
187
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:55,655
'Cause that would be...
188
00:10:57,948 --> 00:10:59,909
Ooh. You're spooked.
189
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:00,992
Uh...
190
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:04,455
Can you please blink?
Lubricate the eyes? Okay.
191
00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:06,832
Great. Awesome. Uh, I'm gonna go.
192
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,709
And you get to process,
193
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,462
because I'm gonna give you
space to do that.
194
00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:15,675
Take it in. Take it in. Talk to your boys.
Ask them, uh, what they think, okay?
195
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:22,181
And I will walk away now.
Hey, Tanner, you wanna get in the hot tub?
196
00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:25,393
- You wanna hook up with me?
- Ah, we'll see what happens.
197
00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:54,964
Job hunting is so depressing.
198
00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:57,883
I just applied for an assistant position
at The Cut.
199
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:58,968
Assistant!
200
00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:01,929
Are you really
thinking of leaving Eggwoke?
201
00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:03,012
Yeah.
202
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:06,100
I just feel like
I'm in a hipster sweatshop,
203
00:12:06,183 --> 00:12:09,353
and Olivia's just hovering above me,
breathing down my neck,
204
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:11,897
demanding I write a listicle
about my back fat.
205
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:13,733
I need a drink.
206
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:16,318
Why don't you have one with Ravi
in the hot tub?
207
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,820
Oh, fuck, yeah!
208
00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:18,903
No.
209
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,490
Kimberly, what is going on with you?
210
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:24,368
You wear sweatpants around Ravi.
I know you like him.
211
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,412
Look, Ravi is just one of my best friends
212
00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:28,914
that I also happen
to love having sex with.
213
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:31,041
That's how most people
describe their husbands.
214
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:35,171
Kim, you deserve a nice thing.
215
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:38,174
And, Ravi, he's a nice thing.
216
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,135
Come here.
217
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:47,850
What am I seeing?
218
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:50,060
- Get off me!
- Oh my God.
219
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:52,188
Oh my God, I see the writing's going well.
220
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,898
It's going good. Yeah.
221
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:56,025
Cool. Well, it's 1:00 now.
222
00:12:58,277 --> 00:12:59,320
It's 1:00 p.m.
223
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:04,241
Right.
Um, what do you feel like doing?
224
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:08,996
- I just can't.
- I think it's realistic.
225
00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:11,457
It makes you laugh.
226
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,209
That's true. That is true.
227
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:17,338
- You are hysterical.
- No, it's not!
228
00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:19,507
- Yes...
- Here you are, ma'am.
229
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:20,800
Oh, please!
230
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,635
- Realistic!
- Not in mine.
231
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:24,470
- Come on.
- Miss?
232
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:30,768
Miss? We're having a slight debate here.
We were wondering if you would settle it?
233
00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:33,437
Do you think
the movie Book Club was realistic?
234
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:36,941
Diane Keaton is getting elder abused
by her daughters.
235
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:40,361
They think she's too feeble
to live on her own, or something.
236
00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:43,322
And, for God's sake, she is our age.
237
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,407
Nobody is gonna abuse me.
238
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,202
Unless I ask for it.
239
00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:54,542
I-I love any movie where Diane Keaton
plays a character named Diane.
240
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:55,709
And does things like...
241
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,218
Are you by yourself?
242
00:14:04,301 --> 00:14:06,095
- You should join us.
- Please!
243
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,680
Oh, okay.
244
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:17,022
After texting my friend condolences
for her cat dying,
245
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:21,569
I found out
that "LOL" does not mean "lots of love."
246
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,780
No, it does not!
247
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:28,701
You are hysterical! So where are you from?
248
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:32,413
Los Angeles.
Well, just outside. Agoura Hills.
249
00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:34,874
I slept with someone from Agoura Hills.
250
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:38,502
It was 1994,
right after the Northridge earthquake.
251
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:41,922
I had never experienced
this thing called edging.
252
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:43,799
Hey, Charles!
253
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,886
Do... Do you like it there in Agoura Hills?
254
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:49,680
- Edging?
- No, please. Do you like it there?
255
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:52,141
Well, you drive through there,
you could be anywhere.
256
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:56,854
You could be in Michigan. You could be
in Arizona. You could be in Florida.
257
00:14:56,937 --> 00:14:58,856
But it's nice.
258
00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:02,693
I just redecorated my house.
It's where my life is.
259
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:04,612
Kids?
260
00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:06,572
One. He's grown.
261
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,867
What about you?
How do you know each other?
262
00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:13,412
We all sing in a choir together
called Voices of a Certain Age.
263
00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:17,416
We perform all around town.
Holiday fairs, events at Carmel Plaza...
264
00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:20,377
In our living rooms
when we're sad and desperate.
265
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:23,923
Oh, that sounds fun. I sing.
266
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:25,758
N-not professionally.
267
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:30,220
- I, uh, I sang in choir in college, so...
- Oh!
268
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:34,892
Well, since Elaine left
to start her jewelry line in Santa Fe,
269
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,269
we've been looking for an alto.
270
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:44,652
Oh!
271
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:46,153
You got the job!
272
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:52,117
Do you wanna come to my Airbnb tonight?
273
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,954
Oh, wait, that's silly.
You probably have things to do.
274
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:56,538
No, honey, we'd be delighted.
275
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:58,958
- Oh!
- We're sad. We're desperate.
276
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,251
Hey, speak for yourself.
277
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:04,296
Cheers. Yeah.
278
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:07,466
Okay, I agree,
the prostate is the male pleasure center,
279
00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:10,803
and, as a straight man,
it's my duty to explore it.
280
00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:12,179
Okay? Happy?
281
00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:13,472
- Yes.
- Very.
282
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:15,641
- Are you doing it again?
- Doing what?
283
00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:18,018
Making sure
none of the food on your plate touches?
284
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,144
Oh my God.
285
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,773
Okay, I'm sorry. It's gross when someone's
eating three separate things
286
00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:25,275
and they just mush 'em all up together
like that.
287
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,236
Okay, no one's judging you.
288
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:30,072
Did you know she's been doing this
since she was two years old?
289
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:32,116
- Aww, is that when you two met?
- Yup.
290
00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:34,535
In a literal sandbox, wow.
291
00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:35,786
You were like, "Hi."
292
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:37,746
How'd you two meet?
293
00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,124
Oh, um...
294
00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:42,710
Well, it was a traditional meet-cute,
you know?
295
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,169
I mean, boy meets boy,
296
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:47,506
boy tells boy he has a boyfriend,
they hook up anyway.
297
00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:50,009
Okay, wait,
just to clarify, this was not cheating.
298
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,886
Richard, my ex, and I,
we had a little arrangement where,
299
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:55,264
while he traveled,
I could hook up with whoever.
300
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:56,181
That's hot.
301
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,182
- Calm down.
- Okay.
302
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,685
Anyway, when we first met,
his ex was traveling a lot,
303
00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:02,271
so we got to spend every night together.
304
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:03,188
- Aww.
- Yeah.
305
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,149
But when he came back, Tanner was like,
306
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,943
"By the way, I can't see you at all
when Richard's in town,
307
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,069
so see ya in a month."
308
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:11,739
And, uh, that was fun.
309
00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:14,033
Um, no, that... Yeah.
310
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:16,744
- That's not exactly how I told you.
- Yes, it is.
311
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:20,622
And I came to you all upset
and told you I wanted to stop seeing you,
312
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,624
and you, like, wouldn't let me.
313
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,794
I really liked you.
I wanted to find a way to make it work.
314
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,588
And we did stop seeing each other.
315
00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:31,675
Well, yeah, but, like,
only because I, like, begged you to.
316
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,637
- Yeah, and we stopped seeing each other.
- Yeah.
317
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:41,393
- Anyway, um, the story has a happy ending.
- Yeah.
318
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:42,519
- Right.
- Yeah.
319
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:48,233
Well, yeah, 'cause obviously Tanner
broke up with Richard to be with me, so...
320
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:51,278
And here they are, see? Romantic.
321
00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:52,361
Yeah.
322
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,412
♪ Now that you're gone ♪
323
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:05,250
♪ All that's left is a band of gold ♪
324
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:09,838
♪ All that's left of the dreams I hold ♪
325
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,174
♪ Is a band of gold ♪
326
00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:14,384
♪ And the memories ♪
327
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:16,553
♪ Of what love could be ♪
328
00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:19,223
♪ If you were still... ♪
329
00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:20,306
Excuse me!
330
00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:24,019
It is 8:30 at night...
331
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,271
...and you are being very loud.
332
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:27,940
8:30?
333
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,733
Is... Is that late?
334
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:35,322
I told Jerry if he had any more Airbnbers,
I'd call the city on him.
335
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:36,573
We're not from Airbnb.
336
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,659
- Oh, really?
- Yes, really.
337
00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:42,996
And I don't appreciate the insinuation
that I am not a truthful person.
338
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,290
How would you feel
if your next-door neighbor
339
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,417
was renting their house
to complete strangers
340
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:50,295
who have no regard
for anyone else's well-being?
341
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:56,885
I think I have endless regard
for other people's well-being.
342
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,848
This is the first vacation
I have taken in 30 years
343
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:04,351
because I was raising
a kid with cerebral palsy,
344
00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:09,022
and then taking care of my mother
who had dementia and died.
345
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:14,027
So excuse me while I experience
some fucking joy for once in my life
346
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:17,322
and dance to music
with my beautiful friends.
347
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:21,827
And my name is Jenna.
348
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:24,246
And I am Jerry's cousin from Minnesota.
349
00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:26,331
And I will turn down the music.
350
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:29,834
Okay.
351
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:39,845
Wow!
352
00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:42,306
Was that all true?
353
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,266
My name is not Jenna.
354
00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:46,059
Well, shit!
355
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:49,354
Karen,
I had you pegged as a delicate flower.
356
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,940
You're a tough little lady, aren't you?
357
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,150
Just... just a little.
358
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:57,404
Aww, thank you for being so sweet,
359
00:19:57,487 --> 00:20:02,284
for taking me under your wing,
and making me part of your tribe.
360
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:03,744
Yes.
361
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:07,748
You have to stay another night.
Charles roasts a chicken on Sunday nights.
362
00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:11,543
- You have to come.
- It's like a Nancy Meyers movie.
363
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:14,796
Bunch of old folks hanging out
in an impossibly gorgeous kitchen.
364
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:18,425
Better than a Nancy Meyers movie
because we're not all white.
365
00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:23,722
Oh, I wish I could.
I can't. I gotta go home.
366
00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:25,474
- Aww.
- I have things to do.
367
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:29,144
But I am here right now,
and I wanna dance!
368
00:20:32,522 --> 00:20:36,902
♪ In the darkness of my lonely room... ♪
369
00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:41,865
Wow. Ryan and Tanner, huh?
370
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,325
Yikes.
371
00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:48,830
It's a good thing that you and I
have such a healthy relationship, right?
372
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:55,212
Okay, look,
I'm sorry about my freak-out earlier.
373
00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:59,716
I just don't know why, all of a sudden,
you're dying to date me.
374
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,051
We had a good thing going.
375
00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:06,139
Look, I've been around enough girls
376
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:11,895
to know how rare it is to actually connect
with someone, and you and I, we have it.
377
00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:13,981
You know we do.
378
00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:17,276
Okay, but what if we break up?
379
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,653
Then it's just bye-bye
to a lifelong friendship?
380
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:25,367
Ravi, my life
is Chernobyl-levels of toxic right now.
381
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:30,205
- You're the only thing that doesn't suck.
- Look, I feel the same way.
382
00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:34,501
Also, it's been 25 years.
383
00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:37,212
I've had so many opportunities
to ghost you.
384
00:21:38,046 --> 00:21:42,718
That's 25 consecutive years
of wanting to be around you,
385
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:44,803
and I'm not going anywhere.
386
00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:47,471
I promise.
387
00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:54,855
Oh, that's good.
388
00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:58,525
- Shit.
- Hmm.
389
00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:02,112
Our parents
are gonna be so happy about this.
390
00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:16,877
Sorry, um...
391
00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:20,547
I need to do a wellness check on us again.
Are we okay?
392
00:22:21,548 --> 00:22:23,800
Yeah, we're fine. It's just, um...
393
00:22:24,384 --> 00:22:26,678
Wow. Our origin story.
394
00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:30,640
- Didn't realize how depressing that was.
- Come on. It wasn't that bad.
395
00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:34,519
It wasn't really that great either,
Tanner. I mean...
396
00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:38,315
If I had known that I couldn't see you
at all when Richard was in town, I...
397
00:22:38,398 --> 00:22:39,816
- Okay, yeah.
- It would've...
398
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:42,152
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I should've told you sooner.
399
00:22:42,235 --> 00:22:44,446
But it was brand-spanking new to me.
400
00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:46,948
I was essentially
managing two relationships.
401
00:22:47,908 --> 00:22:52,245
But what about the fact that I basically
had to demand that you break up with me?
402
00:22:52,329 --> 00:22:55,582
I mean, that was pretty selfish. Right?
403
00:22:55,665 --> 00:22:57,959
Oh, I'm selfish?
404
00:23:01,630 --> 00:23:02,714
That's hysterical.
405
00:23:03,924 --> 00:23:05,384
What's that supposed to mean?
406
00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:10,180
Tanner! What's that supposed to mean?
407
00:23:10,263 --> 00:23:12,724
- Nothing. Let's just get ready for bed.
- No! Tell me.
408
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:15,769
Ryan, breaking news,
you're the selfish one.
409
00:23:15,852 --> 00:23:18,772
I blew up my life for you,
and now it's like you're over it.
410
00:23:19,856 --> 00:23:24,444
Okay, I never asked you to end things
with Richard, okay? That was your choice.
411
00:23:24,528 --> 00:23:25,821
And I'm not over it.
412
00:23:25,904 --> 00:23:28,990
Come on. You've been acting distant.
You were gone half the day.
413
00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:31,243
Yeah,
working on a piece about my disability
414
00:23:31,326 --> 00:23:33,912
that I'm very passionate about.
415
00:23:33,995 --> 00:23:36,164
I was a backup dancer for Ciara, Ryan.
416
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,500
I understand
being passionate about something.
417
00:23:41,503 --> 00:23:43,422
I'm sorry, was that supposed to be a joke?
418
00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:45,799
No, it wasn't. But thank you for laughing.
419
00:23:45,882 --> 00:23:49,761
You know, statistically speaking,
it's way harder to be a backup dancer
420
00:23:49,845 --> 00:23:51,930
than a fucking blogger. Just saying.
421
00:24:05,235 --> 00:24:06,653
My mom doesn't like you.
422
00:24:07,612 --> 00:24:10,907
Oh. I got a bad review
from your mom. Fabulous.
423
00:24:11,783 --> 00:24:13,201
What did she say?
424
00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:15,871
- Nothing.
- No, tell me what she said.
425
00:24:16,496 --> 00:24:19,374
Fine. She said you were a little simple.
426
00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:20,709
Simple? Wow.
427
00:24:21,918 --> 00:24:25,297
- Coming from a woman with those curtains.
- What's wrong with her curtains?
428
00:24:25,380 --> 00:24:27,299
They're underwhelming. I was underwhelmed.
429
00:24:27,799 --> 00:24:30,635
You're such a mama's boy.
You two are obsessed with each other.
430
00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:33,263
Correction. We used to be
obsessed with each other.
431
00:24:33,346 --> 00:24:35,223
Now we're in a really healthy place.
432
00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:36,391
Hmm.
433
00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:39,311
Tanner, you don't get it, okay.
At Crip Prom...
434
00:24:39,394 --> 00:24:42,355
Oh my God!
I knew you were still pissed about that.
435
00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:44,608
Well, yeah. I tried not to be, okay?
436
00:24:44,691 --> 00:24:46,902
But you basically said, "Don't worry,
437
00:24:46,985 --> 00:24:49,714
I don't have to be part of this hugely
important aspect of your life."
438
00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:52,324
"Why don't you just do your thing
and I'll do mine?"
439
00:24:52,407 --> 00:24:55,619
You made it clear how much my presence
was just fucking everything up.
440
00:24:55,702 --> 00:24:57,037
I was offering a solution.
441
00:24:57,120 --> 00:25:00,499
I don't want to be with someone I have
to section out parts of my life for.
442
00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:02,584
I want you to be a part of everything.
443
00:25:02,667 --> 00:25:06,004
Fine, then I'll be a part of it.
I love you, Ryan.
444
00:25:06,087 --> 00:25:07,506
Do you?
445
00:25:11,301 --> 00:25:13,136
I can't believe you just asked me that.
446
00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:16,223
Fuck, where's my phone?
447
00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:22,062
I'm just saying, if you think about it,
we don't really know each other that well.
448
00:25:22,145 --> 00:25:25,023
Are you fucking kidding me, Ryan?
Where is this coming from?
449
00:25:25,774 --> 00:25:27,234
Tanner, you just...
450
00:25:28,026 --> 00:25:29,861
You don't understand my disability.
451
00:25:29,945 --> 00:25:32,864
Maybe that wouldn't have mattered
a year ago, but now it does.
452
00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:37,410
You don't let me understand it. I'm sorry,
I don't have a PhD in disability rights.
453
00:25:37,494 --> 00:25:40,747
- You gotta explain things to me.
- I don't wanna fucking explain things.
454
00:25:40,830 --> 00:25:43,917
I explain things every day.
I don't want to have to do that with you.
455
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,585
Fine! Don't explain things.
456
00:25:45,669 --> 00:25:48,713
Just let me fuck up again and again,
so you can feel victimized.
457
00:25:49,714 --> 00:25:51,132
- Fuck you.
- Fuck you too.
458
00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:55,220
I'm going to bed.
459
00:26:07,774 --> 00:26:08,774
Good night.
460
00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:11,235
Good night.
461
00:26:17,158 --> 00:26:18,158
I love you.
462
00:26:25,959 --> 00:26:27,377
I think we need to break up.
463
00:27:13,798 --> 00:27:15,967
♪ Now that you're gone ♪
464
00:27:16,885 --> 00:27:20,930
♪ All that's left is a band of gold ♪
465
00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:25,310
♪ All that's left of the dreams I hold ♪
466
00:27:25,393 --> 00:27:28,104
♪ Is a band of gold ♪
467
00:27:28,188 --> 00:27:32,609
♪ And the memories of what love could be ♪
468
00:27:32,692 --> 00:27:36,988
♪ If you were still here with me ♪
469
00:27:49,918 --> 00:27:50,918
Hi, honey.
470
00:27:51,294 --> 00:27:52,294
Hi.
471
00:27:55,131 --> 00:27:56,883
Okay, so, update.
472
00:27:57,884 --> 00:28:01,012
Ravi and I are dating.
Or we're trying to date.
473
00:28:01,096 --> 00:28:03,473
I'll take no further questions
at this time.
474
00:28:04,140 --> 00:28:05,140
That's great.
475
00:28:09,312 --> 00:28:10,312
You okay, boo?
476
00:28:14,526 --> 00:28:15,526
Oh, hey.
477
00:28:18,613 --> 00:28:21,700
- Do you wanna talk about it?
- No.
478
00:28:25,453 --> 00:28:28,164
Oh,
I've never been in the back seat.
479
00:28:28,748 --> 00:28:29,833
Oh, it's comfy.
480
00:28:34,003 --> 00:28:35,964
Head east towards Hayden Avenue.
481
00:28:36,047 --> 00:28:39,926
You know, it took us so long
to get on the road this morning,
482
00:28:40,009 --> 00:28:44,723
uh, it almost made me want to say,
"Why is no one ready?"
483
00:28:47,142 --> 00:28:48,977
What? Did I not get it?
484
00:28:50,145 --> 00:28:51,896
Uh, 'cause I practiced.
485
00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:54,733
♪ Haven't felt right in a week ♪
486
00:28:54,816 --> 00:28:58,778
♪ And I'm thinning out ♪
487
00:28:58,862 --> 00:29:00,363
♪ And it hurts bad ♪
488
00:29:01,990 --> 00:29:03,783
♪ I gotta get back ♪
489
00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:09,372
♪ Hot head and dreamless sleep ♪
490
00:29:09,456 --> 00:29:12,917
♪ I could just slip down ♪
491
00:29:13,001 --> 00:29:14,794
♪ And on the wrong track ♪
492
00:29:16,463 --> 00:29:18,173
♪ I gotta get back ♪