1 00:00:04,570 --> 00:00:06,449 ♪ 2 00:00:06,450 --> 00:00:11,250 [MUFFLED GRUNTING] 3 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,200 SUE: No. Put me d... Put me down! 4 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:25,749 [GRUNTS] 5 00:00:25,750 --> 00:00:28,222 DIRK [SINISTER VOICE]: Please remain calm. 6 00:00:28,223 --> 00:00:32,249 You do not know me, but I am not here to hurt you. 7 00:00:32,250 --> 00:00:36,300 Really, Dirk? I could smell your eau de toilette all the way here. 8 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:38,664 - And the mask? Come on! - [STAMMERS] 9 00:00:38,665 --> 00:00:41,140 Look, I know we've been going through a rough patch lately, 10 00:00:41,170 --> 00:00:42,749 and that's why I brought you here. 11 00:00:42,750 --> 00:00:46,249 What, you really think kidnapping me is going to win me back? 12 00:00:46,250 --> 00:00:48,320 Strawberry, this is for your own good. 13 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:50,499 I'm d... I'm doing this for us. 14 00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:54,400 Dirk, I've been a hostage the entire time we were together. 15 00:00:54,420 --> 00:00:55,873 Don't you understand? 16 00:00:55,874 --> 00:00:57,540 I know that's not true. 17 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:00,512 I me... we have so much love for each other. 18 00:01:00,513 --> 00:01:03,749 Remember that night we went camping at Frog Hollow? 19 00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:06,708 It started raining, so we went to the car 20 00:01:06,709 --> 00:01:08,809 and you climbed on top of me, 21 00:01:08,810 --> 00:01:12,119 and then I climbed right back on top of you. 22 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:13,541 [GAGS] Stop. 23 00:01:13,542 --> 00:01:16,458 I'm not gonna get upset because I know this is not you. 24 00:01:16,459 --> 00:01:20,399 - It definitely is. - No, it definitely is not, but... 25 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,080 I actually have some exciting news for us. 26 00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:26,799 Your husband is currently working with the Bureau. 27 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:29,400 [CHUCKLES] Sorry. You probably don't know what the Bureau is. 28 00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:31,416 - The FBI. - What? 29 00:01:31,417 --> 00:01:33,879 Yeah. Well, I'm pretty sure I'm the only person 30 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:35,120 to escape that cult 31 00:01:35,140 --> 00:01:37,189 - and live to talk about it, so... - It's not a cult. 32 00:01:37,190 --> 00:01:41,624 And the Bureau just recognized the skills straight away. 33 00:01:41,625 --> 00:01:44,959 I just want you to know that my services are at your disposal. 34 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:47,600 Uh, I'm a team player. No task too small. 35 00:01:47,620 --> 00:01:50,820 Seriously. Just excited to be a part of the conversation. 36 00:01:50,850 --> 00:01:52,540 Uh... uh, s... hang on, sorry. 37 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,002 Are you talking to me? 38 00:01:54,003 --> 00:01:55,820 It's sort of a consulting role, 39 00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:58,542 but I really think it could lead to something more permanent. 40 00:01:58,543 --> 00:02:00,849 You're telling me the FBI 41 00:02:00,850 --> 00:02:02,875 have authorized you to kidnap me? 42 00:02:02,876 --> 00:02:04,720 [STAMMERS] Well, no. 43 00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:07,583 But when I come back with you as an asset, 44 00:02:07,584 --> 00:02:09,452 well, you can imagine. 45 00:02:09,453 --> 00:02:12,958 Let's just say my back is ready for some awfully big pats. 46 00:02:12,959 --> 00:02:15,708 I'm not your asset, you sad, sad man. 47 00:02:15,709 --> 00:02:17,999 That hurts, but you're not yourself. 48 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,020 I'm completely myself. 49 00:02:19,030 --> 00:02:21,539 And that's why I brought someone who's an expert 50 00:02:21,540 --> 00:02:23,820 in these kinds of brainwashing situations, 51 00:02:23,850 --> 00:02:25,920 a deprogrammer who's here to... 52 00:02:25,940 --> 00:02:27,480 [GREG SHUSHES] 53 00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:30,500 I prefer the term "exit counselor." 54 00:02:31,790 --> 00:02:32,822 Who are you? 55 00:02:32,823 --> 00:02:34,689 Me? I'm many things. 56 00:02:34,690 --> 00:02:38,100 I'm a security agent, I'm a piano tuner, 57 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:39,580 I'm a life drawing model. 58 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,962 It depends on the day and the call to action. 59 00:02:41,963 --> 00:02:46,291 But right here, right now, um, I am a deprogrammer. 60 00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:47,539 Exit counselor. 61 00:02:47,540 --> 00:02:50,160 Exit counselor. Yes. 62 00:02:50,180 --> 00:02:54,124 It's nice to see that you're listening, Susan. 63 00:02:54,125 --> 00:02:56,542 - It's Sue. - I prefer Susan. 64 00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:58,916 My full name is Sue. It's on my birth certificate. 65 00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:04,069 But I... prefer Susan. 66 00:03:04,070 --> 00:03:08,280 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 67 00:03:10,292 --> 00:03:12,329 ♪ 68 00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:15,060 Bravo. [LAUGHS] 69 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,194 Cullen, look at you, 70 00:03:17,195 --> 00:03:22,749 escalating a nothing situation into a full-scale siege? 71 00:03:22,750 --> 00:03:28,840 You only did the exact opposite of what Fuller asked you to do, 72 00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:31,329 which was observe and report! 73 00:03:31,330 --> 00:03:34,040 Now we've got Risoli in a coma, 74 00:03:34,060 --> 00:03:39,159 and the FBI has a potential Waco part two on its hands! 75 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,040 Job well done, Special Agent Fuckhead. 76 00:03:42,060 --> 00:03:44,749 - MAN: Sorry, mic pack's dead. - What? 77 00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:46,060 Are you kidding me, Bo? 78 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,541 That is the third fucking time 79 00:03:48,542 --> 00:03:52,125 that I'm crushing a monologue, and you're not getting sound? 80 00:03:52,126 --> 00:03:55,300 Okay, fine. Circle that take, I'll ADR it in post. 81 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,417 That's "additional dialogue recording." 82 00:03:57,418 --> 00:03:59,480 Dude, you are doing great. 83 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,380 A-Are they gonna film everything we do? 84 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:02,960 No, they're gonna film everything I do. 85 00:04:02,980 --> 00:04:04,236 Wait, well, I guess, actually, 86 00:04:04,237 --> 00:04:05,599 which means they're gonna probably film 87 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,383 everything you're doing as well, 88 00:04:07,384 --> 00:04:10,859 because my whole job here is to clean up your mess, 89 00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:12,940 so do you want to work on, like, our dynamic? 90 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,920 - Like, what's your guy's story? - Yeah, I got a pitch. 91 00:04:15,950 --> 00:04:17,620 What if I'm the guy in the documentary 92 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:21,020 who doesn't give a fuck about you or the documentary, 93 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,940 and I say we go in and take down the fucking Collective 94 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,100 'cause the cult leader fucking drugged me 95 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,480 and, uh, maybe it's time we got some fucking revenge 96 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:30,240 and we take these fuckers down. 97 00:04:30,260 --> 00:04:31,329 How about that? 98 00:04:31,330 --> 00:04:33,460 [LAUGHS]: Whoa, okay. 99 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:36,660 Save that gold for when we're rolling. 100 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:39,989 Y-You're giving a Christian Bale-level performance right now, 101 00:04:39,990 --> 00:04:41,900 and I want you to know, I'm seeing it, 102 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,619 you could be an antihero. Yergin? 103 00:04:44,620 --> 00:04:45,630 Make a note of that. 104 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,912 Maybe "Cullen as antihero," question mark? 105 00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:51,209 We can talk about that later on in notes call. 106 00:04:51,210 --> 00:04:52,479 - MAN: All good to go. - Okay, we're back? 107 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:53,539 We're in it? Okay? 108 00:04:53,540 --> 00:04:54,839 Red leather, yellow leather, 109 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:56,160 red leather, yellow leather. 110 00:04:56,180 --> 00:04:58,420 - [HIGH-PITCHED]: Fa. Fa. - Are you okay? 111 00:04:58,440 --> 00:04:59,799 - Do you want to do any warm-ups? - No. 112 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,640 So when we come back in, when I say "Action," 113 00:05:01,660 --> 00:05:04,320 I want you to give me that exact speech you just gave me 114 00:05:04,330 --> 00:05:06,800 about drugs and blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, ready? 115 00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:09,679 And go. 116 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:14,620 Uh, uh, I-I was drugged, um, and, uh... 117 00:05:14,650 --> 00:05:15,902 You know what? I'm just gonna go. 118 00:05:15,903 --> 00:05:17,625 Oh, yeah, yeah. Why don't you get out of here? 119 00:05:17,626 --> 00:05:19,500 Why don't you go before we make our day? 120 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,820 We have a shot list. Part of it is this scene 121 00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:22,999 we're doing right now. 122 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,219 I didn't know this was a scene. 123 00:05:24,220 --> 00:05:26,080 I'm j... I'm just trying to do police work. 124 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:27,919 So I'm gonna go do some police work, okay? 125 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,740 Okay, fi... Yergin, send somebody to film him do police work, 126 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:34,260 and I'll do V.O. over it saying all the stuff about revenge. 127 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:35,479 - Can we do that? - YERGIN: Yeah. 128 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,000 - Okay, I'm going. - Okay. 129 00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:38,720 - Yergin, C and D on him. - Okay. 130 00:05:38,740 --> 00:05:40,208 Thank you. 131 00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:45,499 So, first up, I would like to apologize for the drama. 132 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:48,042 - The abduction? - Well, you say tomato, I say... 133 00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:49,480 I say abduction. 134 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:54,320 Look, I know you've heard a lot about exit counselors. 135 00:05:54,340 --> 00:05:57,749 You've read the books, you've listened to the podcasts. 136 00:05:57,750 --> 00:05:59,820 - No, I haven't. - Oh, well, you should. 137 00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:01,980 There's pretty interesting stuff. 138 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:07,000 Coercion, uh, brute force, nonconsensual tickling. 139 00:06:07,020 --> 00:06:09,640 You know. Yeah, all that stuff has happened 140 00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:11,160 and may happen again. 141 00:06:11,167 --> 00:06:13,999 But I'm not here to apologize for an entire industry. 142 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,519 Okay? I don't need to make friends. 143 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:19,180 I'm not trying to get in with the popular girls at school. 144 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,916 [CHUCKLES] You understand? We're on the same page? 145 00:06:21,917 --> 00:06:23,829 Uh, how long will this take? 146 00:06:23,830 --> 00:06:27,300 Yeah, you're right. We should, uh, we should start, right? 147 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:30,549 [TONGUE CLICKS] Wrong. We already did. 148 00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:33,920 - And it's going great. - I can really see why Dirk picked you. 149 00:06:33,940 --> 00:06:35,749 You guys are really perfect for each other. 150 00:06:35,750 --> 00:06:37,240 Thank you, I appreciate that. 151 00:06:37,270 --> 00:06:40,560 And, uh, you are gonna appreciate this: 152 00:06:40,580 --> 00:06:43,900 I'm gonna untie you, thus establishing trust. 153 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:48,360 Hopefully it's just the first step on us becoming friends at the end, 154 00:06:48,380 --> 00:06:50,300 which is my preferred outcome. 155 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,369 So, uh, Dirk, release the hounds. 156 00:06:53,370 --> 00:06:55,380 Uh, can I speak to you for a second? 157 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,417 [GREG GRUNTS] 158 00:06:58,540 --> 00:07:01,400 Are you sure about untying her? 159 00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:03,880 Don't you ever question my authority 160 00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:05,660 in front of the subject again. 161 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:06,860 Sorry. 162 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:11,180 I'm establishing an "agreement and reward" relationship 163 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,060 based on mutual respect 164 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,480 - and trust, okay? - Okay. 165 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:18,420 - Okay. - I-I mean, I have questions, 166 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,640 but I'm certainly not gonna ask them. 167 00:07:20,660 --> 00:07:22,211 Well, hang on to 'em. 168 00:07:22,212 --> 00:07:24,720 - Okay, fine, I w... I, look... - Jot 'em down. 169 00:07:24,740 --> 00:07:28,220 Uh, fine, I'll untie her per your, per your steps. 170 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,693 This is insane, Dirk. 171 00:07:29,694 --> 00:07:32,440 Wha-What was I supposed to do, huh? 172 00:07:32,470 --> 00:07:35,500 Leave you in there? I-I can't lose you to a cult. 173 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,000 One, it's not a cult. 174 00:07:37,020 --> 00:07:39,749 Two, how much is this guy costing you? 175 00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:42,780 You can't put a price on freedom of the mind. 176 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,740 Exactly. Money is no object. 177 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,370 You've always known that about me. 178 00:07:46,375 --> 00:07:47,999 How much? Come on, tell me. 179 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,920 All right, fine, full disclosure. 180 00:07:49,950 --> 00:07:52,960 My services are $19.99 an hour. 181 00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:55,072 You're paying him by the hour? 182 00:07:55,073 --> 00:07:58,874 Every second ticking by, costing you money. 183 00:07:58,875 --> 00:08:00,229 This doesn't bother me. 184 00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:02,300 And it's actually $25 an hour. 185 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:05,300 You didn't put the code "Greg" in at checkout? 186 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,220 [STAMMERS] No. There was a-a code? 187 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,100 Yeah, yeah. If you put that in, uh, 188 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:13,460 - you get 20% off. - U-Uh, can I put it in now? 189 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:16,340 Uh, you have to put it in at checkout. 190 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,680 Oh, come on. Well, that's not a great system. 191 00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:21,100 - Uh... You didn't even... - It works for everybody else. 192 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:24,040 Next time you use my services, put the code word "Greg" in. 193 00:08:24,060 --> 00:08:25,499 Well, what if this is the only time? 194 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,240 I can't keep having this argument 195 00:08:27,260 --> 00:08:29,249 with every single client. 196 00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:30,500 DIRK: Oh, so there are others 197 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,205 who have experienced this problem? 198 00:08:32,206 --> 00:08:33,580 I don't build websites. 199 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,059 Oh, so it's not necessarily the code enterer, 200 00:08:36,060 --> 00:08:38,259 - it's the processee. - It's the people who make the website. 201 00:08:38,260 --> 00:08:40,249 They also charge me. 202 00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:42,449 ♪ 203 00:08:42,450 --> 00:08:43,680 Okay, give it to me. 204 00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:44,759 What's wrong with you today? 205 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:46,164 Is your herpes flaring up? 206 00:08:46,165 --> 00:08:47,700 I don't have herpes. 207 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:48,912 I'm upset, 208 00:08:48,913 --> 00:08:51,029 - because of Jarrod. - Who? 209 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,541 Jarrod. My Jarrod. 210 00:08:53,542 --> 00:08:55,749 I have no idea what you're talking about. 211 00:08:55,750 --> 00:08:58,089 Are you kidding me? I've talked about Jarrod 212 00:08:58,090 --> 00:08:59,540 about a million times. 213 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,084 He was my high school sweetheart? 214 00:09:01,085 --> 00:09:03,240 Ugh. I would've hated you in high school. 215 00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:06,252 All right. Just give me the "25 words or less" version. 216 00:09:06,253 --> 00:09:08,130 He took my virginity on prom night 217 00:09:08,150 --> 00:09:10,960 and wouldn't return my calls the next day or the day after that, 218 00:09:10,980 --> 00:09:13,360 and then he moved away and we never spoke again. 219 00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:14,459 I was crushed. 220 00:09:14,460 --> 00:09:16,289 That was 33 words. 221 00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:18,400 Jarrod found me on Facebook today, 222 00:09:18,420 --> 00:09:21,400 after I "checked in" to this area. 223 00:09:21,420 --> 00:09:22,874 He just messaged me. 224 00:09:22,875 --> 00:09:24,208 All right, what did he write? 225 00:09:24,209 --> 00:09:27,712 "Oh, my God, I'm literally 300 yards from you." 226 00:09:27,713 --> 00:09:29,209 He's working on the siege? 227 00:09:29,210 --> 00:09:31,180 No, he's in the cult. 228 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,832 He wants to meet up tonight. 229 00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:33,839 That's brilliant. 230 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,219 This is your chance to tell this guy 231 00:09:35,220 --> 00:09:37,180 exactly how big of a piece of shit he is 232 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,750 for treating you so badly. 233 00:09:38,771 --> 00:09:40,999 Really? You think I should go? 234 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,760 You tell that son of a bitch 235 00:09:42,780 --> 00:09:44,980 he's why you're so emotionally stunted 236 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,540 and why you lack confidence 237 00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,380 and why you're always practically suffocating 238 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:49,499 in your own anxiety 239 00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:51,999 and why you're always undermining yourself. 240 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,189 I guarantee you'll feel so much lighter 241 00:09:54,190 --> 00:09:55,749 after dumping that weight. 242 00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:58,780 Okay. You know what? I will. 243 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,740 Thanks, Janice. 244 00:10:00,770 --> 00:10:02,909 Jarrod deserves to hear this. 245 00:10:02,910 --> 00:10:04,009 Who's Jarrod? 246 00:10:04,010 --> 00:10:06,800 Jarrod from my story. 247 00:10:06,820 --> 00:10:08,041 Jarrod from high school. 248 00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:09,916 Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, that Jarrod. Right. 249 00:10:09,917 --> 00:10:11,499 - Jarrod, who took my virginity. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I know. 250 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:13,579 I-I remember. Got it. 251 00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:16,220 So do you know who I'm talking about when I say "Jarrod"? 252 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,570 Let's just say I do and let's move on. 253 00:10:20,584 --> 00:10:23,369 ♪ 254 00:10:23,370 --> 00:10:27,200 A clerk at a butcher shop stands five foot, ten inches tall. 255 00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:29,900 He has size 13 shoes. 256 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,120 What does he weigh? 257 00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:32,375 Meat. 258 00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:34,340 Check the back of the book. 259 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,800 Yeah, yeah. Boy, you got that one. 260 00:10:36,820 --> 00:10:39,080 Well done, brainiac. 261 00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:42,789 Okay, how about one that I already know the answer to? 262 00:10:42,790 --> 00:10:45,660 How much dirt is there in a hole 263 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,060 that measures two feet by three feet 264 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,499 - by four feet? - I don't know, some. The usual. 265 00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:55,280 There's no dirt in the hole, Susan, 'cause it's a hole. 266 00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:57,624 Take back control of your mind. 267 00:10:57,625 --> 00:10:59,203 Greg, let's do a deal. 268 00:10:59,204 --> 00:11:00,740 You let me go now, 269 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,660 and I will report you and Dirk 270 00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:04,300 to the authorities for abduction 271 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:05,820 and unlawful detainment. 272 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:09,980 - Uh, no deal. - No. Yeah, that is a hard pass. 273 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,360 And, uh, pro tip from a fellow negotiator: 274 00:11:13,380 --> 00:11:15,205 don't start with your worst offer. 275 00:11:15,206 --> 00:11:16,652 No, that was the best offer. 276 00:11:16,653 --> 00:11:19,002 That's the best outcome for you both. 277 00:11:19,003 --> 00:11:21,780 Okay, well, listen, if you're trying to scare me, 278 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:23,060 it's working. 279 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:26,399 I-I got to be honest, I don't really know Dirk here. 280 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,819 Um, I'm not getting a great vibe from him. 281 00:11:28,820 --> 00:11:30,560 - What? - I have no idea 282 00:11:30,580 --> 00:11:32,359 of the legality of this whole thing. 283 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:33,900 I may be a lot of things, 284 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,330 but I'm no lawyer. [CHUCKLES] 285 00:11:36,331 --> 00:11:39,071 All I know is, we both love you. Right, Dirk? 286 00:11:39,072 --> 00:11:41,600 Well, I certainly love her. 287 00:11:41,620 --> 00:11:43,780 And I do, too, so that makes us both. 288 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,509 Okay, could you maybe address 289 00:11:45,510 --> 00:11:48,422 this extreme personality change she's gone through? 290 00:11:48,423 --> 00:11:51,122 Her? I... She seems the same to me. 291 00:11:51,123 --> 00:11:53,359 You just met her. 292 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:54,940 Whose side are you on? 293 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:58,180 What? Look, I am on my side. 294 00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:59,479 - Jesus, Dirk. - And-and that's the side 295 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:00,489 - that you should be on, too. - Stop. 296 00:12:00,490 --> 00:12:01,739 - I'm paying you. - I'm a little pissed off 297 00:12:01,740 --> 00:12:04,922 to be having to hold your hand through this entire thing. 298 00:12:04,923 --> 00:12:07,759 You don't want the cure to be worse than the disease. 299 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:11,659 You want 'em to be kind of on par, equal, that... 300 00:12:11,660 --> 00:12:14,740 - You understand? - No, I don't understand. 301 00:12:14,770 --> 00:12:16,800 Great, then stay out of my lane. 302 00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:18,069 - [SUE GRUNTS] - [GLASS SHATTERS] 303 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:20,539 Let me go right fucking now! 304 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,664 There, you see what happens when you question the process, Dirk? 305 00:12:23,665 --> 00:12:25,580 Also, room damages are extra. 306 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,460 That's in the contract. 307 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,619 I don't cover that. 308 00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:32,792 ♪ 309 00:12:36,410 --> 00:12:38,875 Wow, Fatima, look at you. 310 00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:42,166 Did you get cryogenically frozen the day after graduation 311 00:12:42,167 --> 00:12:43,842 and then defrosted last week? [LAUGHS] 312 00:12:43,843 --> 00:12:45,600 'Cause you look the same. 313 00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:48,666 No, actually, you look even more beautiful. 314 00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:49,909 You got fat. 315 00:12:49,910 --> 00:12:52,980 Huh? Oh, well, I mean, I guess I just fell on 316 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,499 some bad dietary habits, you know, after high school, 317 00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:57,439 but I'm just so happy to see you. 318 00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,949 I mean, I can't believe how long it's been. 319 00:12:59,950 --> 00:13:01,080 Did you get shorter, though? 320 00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:04,252 You look like you've been sleeping on an air mattress for 20 years. 321 00:13:04,253 --> 00:13:06,792 It looks like you've melted a little bit. 322 00:13:06,793 --> 00:13:09,200 Did I do something to upset you? 323 00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:10,249 Oh, wow. 324 00:13:10,250 --> 00:13:12,708 You didn't mention you became a crack detective. 325 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:13,749 Huh? 326 00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:16,739 You don't remember how we left things? 327 00:13:16,740 --> 00:13:18,139 How you took my virginity 328 00:13:18,140 --> 00:13:20,334 and then threw it on the ground and pissed on it. 329 00:13:20,335 --> 00:13:22,900 - Wait, what? - I loved you 330 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,219 and offered myself to you. 331 00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:27,333 But then after, not a word. 332 00:13:27,334 --> 00:13:29,699 You treated me like I was nothing. 333 00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:32,940 You know, I'm realizing right now, in this minute, 334 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,540 that I've actually been waiting to tell you 335 00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:37,900 what a piece of shit you are. 336 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,124 And you did not deserve my virginity, 337 00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:43,499 you fucking piece of shit dirtbag! 338 00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:45,730 Asshole! Fuckface! 339 00:13:45,731 --> 00:13:47,541 Whoo! 340 00:13:47,542 --> 00:13:50,374 Wow, that felt really good. 341 00:13:50,375 --> 00:13:53,458 I needed that. Thank you so much for messaging me. 342 00:13:53,459 --> 00:13:55,708 That's how you remember it? 343 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,166 What are you talking about? 344 00:13:57,167 --> 00:13:59,051 It was you who broke my heart. 345 00:13:59,052 --> 00:14:00,600 Oh, come on. 346 00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:03,699 Your memory's as ravaged by time as your face. 347 00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:05,240 How could you have forgotten that you 348 00:14:05,260 --> 00:14:07,080 and all your popular girlfriends 349 00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:09,900 made a "losing your virginity" pact on prom night? 350 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:10,940 You remember that? 351 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:13,580 And that I wasn't really up for it because my... 352 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,080 my mom died a week before. 353 00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:16,416 You don't remember that? 354 00:14:16,417 --> 00:14:18,499 What? Oh... 355 00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:19,949 - Yeah. - Right. 356 00:14:19,950 --> 00:14:22,220 There was that, uh, portrait of your mom 357 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:25,166 on the bedside table, yeah, that you kept looking at. 358 00:14:25,167 --> 00:14:28,833 [SOBBING QUIETLY] 359 00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:31,916 Well, it was great to catch up. 360 00:14:31,917 --> 00:14:34,791 Good to see you, and, hey, how's your dad? 361 00:14:34,792 --> 00:14:39,499 Never mind, you're kind of going through stuff, so... 362 00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:41,999 it was really good to see you. Bye. 363 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,279 ♪ 364 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:47,560 Strawberry, we're only trying to help you. 365 00:14:47,580 --> 00:14:49,624 We just want you to be free of that cult. 366 00:14:49,625 --> 00:14:52,416 Right, so I can join your cult again, Dirk? 367 00:14:52,417 --> 00:14:54,832 Let me offer you a deal, okay, Susan? 368 00:14:54,833 --> 00:14:56,339 Call me Susan one more time. 369 00:14:56,340 --> 00:14:59,729 Okay, okay, Sue, how about this? 370 00:14:59,730 --> 00:15:01,740 You give me 48 minutes, 371 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:03,600 and if you still want to go back to the cult, 372 00:15:03,620 --> 00:15:06,100 then we'll let you, right, Dirk? 373 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:07,330 Uh-huh. 374 00:15:07,334 --> 00:15:08,791 - You promise? - Cross my heart 375 00:15:08,792 --> 00:15:10,820 and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. 376 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:13,340 Or, hell, both eyes. [CHUCKLES] 377 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:16,083 I ain't using 'em anyways. What do you say? 378 00:15:16,084 --> 00:15:19,319 All right, 48 minutes. Not a second more. 379 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:22,139 Perfect. I will set a timer. 380 00:15:22,140 --> 00:15:25,329 Okay, this has got addresses. Come on. 381 00:15:25,330 --> 00:15:26,860 This doesn't have a stopwatch? 382 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:28,458 - The guy at the store said... - I got it. 383 00:15:28,459 --> 00:15:30,369 - Go. - All right, so, 384 00:15:30,370 --> 00:15:33,519 what's so great about the Collective anyway? 385 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:37,100 I haven't felt this good about myself for a long, long time. 386 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:40,122 Over the years I've been losing my sense of autonomy. 387 00:15:40,123 --> 00:15:42,099 I came to rely on Dirk for affirmation, 388 00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:44,208 and my self-esteem was all but gone. 389 00:15:44,209 --> 00:15:47,040 Okay, that's not true. You had some left. 390 00:15:47,060 --> 00:15:49,790 - Not-not a lot, but some. - Shh, Dirk. Dirk! 391 00:15:49,793 --> 00:15:51,291 Go on, please. 392 00:15:51,292 --> 00:15:54,232 I didn't have real intimacy or any sense of belonging. 393 00:15:54,233 --> 00:15:57,539 Dirk's own incuriosity had made me incurious. 394 00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,500 That sounds like my first ex-wife. 395 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,940 But within 24 hours of meeting Terry, 396 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:05,330 oh, I felt self-actualized, heard, understood 397 00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:08,249 and supported in a way I thought was no longer possible. 398 00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,699 Terry sounds like a very special lady. 399 00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:11,792 Is she single? 400 00:16:11,793 --> 00:16:13,040 [LAUGHS] 401 00:16:13,050 --> 00:16:14,860 I'm kidding. Is she? 402 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,019 Greg, could I have a private word with you? 403 00:16:17,020 --> 00:16:18,030 This fucking guy. 404 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,303 Don't know how you put up with him for as long as you did. 405 00:16:20,304 --> 00:16:22,140 Is this about the contract again? 406 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:25,400 No, this is... Just come with me for one second. 407 00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:28,042 All right, whatever. Let's go. 408 00:16:28,940 --> 00:16:30,300 Oh, my God, oh, my God, 409 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:32,539 this is not going well. I'm losing her. 410 00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:33,819 - Yes, it's not going well... - I'm losing her, 411 00:16:33,820 --> 00:16:35,120 and you're not helping. 412 00:16:35,140 --> 00:16:36,179 - What are you doing? - I'm... 413 00:16:36,180 --> 00:16:37,379 - No, you're not helping. - You're making it worse. 414 00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:39,120 You're making it worse! 415 00:16:39,140 --> 00:16:41,680 All I need is a half an hour alone with her, 416 00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:44,060 and I can close this thing out. 417 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,840 Get... Why don't you scram, huh? 418 00:16:45,860 --> 00:16:47,458 Go grab some pizzas. 419 00:16:47,459 --> 00:16:49,208 Just grab pizzas? 420 00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:50,550 Yes, just get out of here, 421 00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,583 go get some pizzas and bring 'em back. 422 00:16:52,584 --> 00:16:54,667 Okay. Well, if you're sure this is the right... 423 00:16:54,668 --> 00:16:56,760 I'm sure, 100%. 424 00:16:56,780 --> 00:16:58,740 Dude, she is on the hook. 425 00:16:58,770 --> 00:17:00,520 Alls I need is a little bit of time, 426 00:17:00,540 --> 00:17:02,500 and I can reel her in, all right? 427 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,260 You get back here, 428 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:07,417 we'll have ourselves a nice, well-earned pizza party. 429 00:17:07,418 --> 00:17:11,380 Okay. Okay, I could really go for some pizza, to be honest. 430 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,680 And for my wife not being in a cult anymore. 431 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,330 And... loving me again. 432 00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:16,958 I can make it happen. 433 00:17:16,959 --> 00:17:19,399 - I'm trusting you with my wife, Greg. - [CHUCKLES] 434 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,939 I'm trusting you with the pizza order. 435 00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:24,240 So, that's how it works, right? 436 00:17:24,270 --> 00:17:25,624 Mutual trust. 437 00:17:25,625 --> 00:17:27,869 ♪ 438 00:17:27,870 --> 00:17:29,919 Guys, let's get some contemplative B-roll 439 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:32,260 of just Cullen and I looking at the board, right? 440 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,339 We're, like, trying to decode the clues and all that. 441 00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:36,199 Stay in it with me. Stay in it with me, Cullen. 442 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,900 [GROANS] 443 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:41,750 I got a bad feeling about this. 444 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,120 What even is this corkboard? 445 00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:46,623 I mean, I've never seen one as large and elaborate as this one. 446 00:17:46,624 --> 00:17:47,909 Well, now you have. 447 00:17:47,910 --> 00:17:49,919 What do you think, we're catching the Zodiac Killer? 448 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,340 Nobody's even been murdered. 449 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:52,500 What is this checklist? 450 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,480 "One: Follow the money. Two: Find the clue. 451 00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:56,549 Three: Solve crime." 452 00:17:56,550 --> 00:17:58,332 These are completely unrelated to the siege. 453 00:17:58,333 --> 00:18:00,580 I mean, wh-why is there a ye olde photo 454 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,243 - of an abandoned mine? - You know what? 455 00:18:02,244 --> 00:18:05,359 Cut, and take five. You guys go do crafty 456 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:07,619 and go 10-1, whatever, 10-2. 457 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:10,049 [LAUGHS]: Mike, you can do 10-3 if you want. 458 00:18:10,050 --> 00:18:11,360 You've got five minutes and a... 459 00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:13,082 and a pretty strong Wi-Fi here, so... 460 00:18:13,083 --> 00:18:15,829 [LAUGHING]: go nuts, buddy. 461 00:18:15,830 --> 00:18:17,560 Dude, what the fuck are you doing? 462 00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:18,959 You're fucking this whole thing up. 463 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,089 Don't question the set dec. 464 00:18:21,090 --> 00:18:22,840 - Set dec? - Yeah, the set decoration. 465 00:18:22,860 --> 00:18:24,340 This is here for a reason, okay? 466 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,240 Look, just for shits and gigs, 467 00:18:26,260 --> 00:18:28,160 let me show you what we're dealing with here. 468 00:18:28,180 --> 00:18:30,829 This is what we're really here for. 469 00:18:30,830 --> 00:18:33,620 - What is this? - The future of the FBI 470 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,940 right here on this corkboard. 471 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:36,970 Let me guess. 472 00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:39,660 You want to storm the compound 473 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:41,619 and end the siege, am I right? 474 00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,980 - Right. - Wrong answer, Cullen. 475 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,080 We need to slow-play this. 476 00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:49,000 The endgame is to create a narrative, 477 00:18:49,020 --> 00:18:53,260 so that the documentary can unfold episode by episode, 478 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:56,740 allowing for cliffhangers at the end of each episode, 479 00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:00,199 so that people have to watch the next episode. 480 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,899 You're not serious about any of this, right? 481 00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:03,792 This is coming from higher-ups. Okay? 482 00:19:03,793 --> 00:19:07,340 The Bureau is tired of watching our cases 483 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,220 get turned into IP for other studios, 484 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,124 networks and production companies. 485 00:19:12,125 --> 00:19:14,417 We're not just law enforcement officers, 486 00:19:14,418 --> 00:19:16,400 we are content creators, 487 00:19:16,420 --> 00:19:19,440 and what you need to ask yourself right now is: 488 00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:21,280 are you going to be a part of this? 489 00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:25,149 Because if you are not, we need to recast ASAP. 490 00:19:25,150 --> 00:19:27,449 Yeah, I'm a part of it. 491 00:19:27,450 --> 00:19:29,860 Yes! You're not gonna regret this. 492 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,542 Also, lose ten pounds by Monday. 493 00:19:33,790 --> 00:19:36,580 ♪ 494 00:19:41,170 --> 00:19:44,460 GREG: Dearest Dirk, the good news is, 495 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,249 you don't have to share the pizza. Ha-ha. 496 00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:48,500 The bad news is, 497 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,780 the deprogramming was unfortunately unsuccessful 498 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,041 on this occasion. 499 00:19:53,042 --> 00:19:56,180 Thank you for the opportunity to work with you today. 500 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,623 Although we didn't get the result we hoped for, 501 00:19:58,624 --> 00:20:01,780 I think we can agree that there were some good signs 502 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,380 and we all learned a lot. 503 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,279 As you know from the terms of service that you agreed to, 504 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,140 I don't provide refunds. 505 00:20:08,170 --> 00:20:12,720 But I will offer you five percent off on any of my other services, 506 00:20:12,740 --> 00:20:15,640 - save for marriage celebrant. - Strawberry? 507 00:20:15,660 --> 00:20:16,999 Be sure to take a brief survey. 508 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,059 - [TREMBLING]: Strawberry? - And, if you'd be so kind, 509 00:20:19,060 --> 00:20:21,749 I sure would appreciate a positive review. 510 00:20:21,750 --> 00:20:23,752 Oh, no, no! 511 00:20:23,753 --> 00:20:26,334 ♪ 512 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:36,916 ♪ I don't do roses anymore ♪ 513 00:20:36,917 --> 00:20:41,619 ♪ I don't believe your providence ♪ 514 00:20:41,620 --> 00:20:45,240 ♪ Will be my valentine ♪ 515 00:20:46,917 --> 00:20:49,909 ♪ I don't do roses anymore ♪ 516 00:20:49,910 --> 00:20:55,320 ♪ I keep the moths out of the cabin light ♪ 517 00:20:59,917 --> 00:21:03,916 ♪ The full moon skipping through the trees ♪ 518 00:21:03,917 --> 00:21:06,917 ♪ But Mother Earth won't set her free ♪ 519 00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:11,958 ♪ No, it ain't free. ♪ 520 00:21:11,959 --> 00:21:13,958 MAN: Guh-doosh. 521 00:21:13,959 --> 00:21:16,949 [WHIP CRACKING] 522 00:21:16,950 --> 00:21:19,959 [DRUMS BEATING, TRIBAL GRUNT]