1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,961 [pages rifling] 2 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:17,103 ♪ 3 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:27,862 ‐ I, Balder the Brave, have assembled the best warriors in all of Asgard, 4 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,661 to defend the sanctity of our land. 5 00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:35,576 We must find the evil sorcerer who madeth this tear in our sky 6 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:39,918 and sullies our beauteous realm with unholy artifacts‐‐ 7 00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:42,785 [machine whirring] 8 00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:50,548 [body thuds on ground] 9 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:56,005 ♪ 10 00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,524 [MODOK laughs] 11 00:00:57,516 --> 00:01:01,976 ‐ What else can I launch down this trash portal I built to Asgard? 12 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,269 ‐ I don't understand, 13 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:04,652 how is this gonna help you destroy Monica 14 00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:06,148 and reclaim your title as Scientist Supreme? 15 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:09,029 ‐ It won't, it just makes me feel great to screw with Thor. 16 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:12,987 Every time I feel sad, I throw a string cheese wrapper down there. 17 00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,200 [eating noisily] 18 00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:15,079 [groaning] [stomach rumbles] 19 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,615 If only there was a way not to eat the string cheese. 20 00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:20,709 As for Monica, I have a diabolically intricate plan. 21 00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:23,126 First, I wanna chuck one of these heavy mothers into the portal. 22 00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:24,165 ‐ Oh, can't let you do that. 23 00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:26,498 I was elected the office fire safety captain. 24 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,463 I take fire very seriously. 25 00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:31,339 Gorgeous fire, sexy fire, 26 00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:33,591 flickering like a dancing woman! 27 00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:36,264 An elusive beauty you'd destroy the world just to please! 28 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,433 ‐ Yeah, yeah, fire's awesome. Now hand me that milk. 29 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,772 This trashcan here is a portal directly into my stomach. 30 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:46,268 That way when my mouth is busy eating, other food gets VIP stomach access. 31 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,733 See? Why eat harder when you can eat smart‐‐ 32 00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:49,944 [retching] 33 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,993 ‐ Oh. Oh no, puke makes me‐‐ ‐ Gary, no! 34 00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:54,197 ♪ dramatic theme playing ♪ 35 00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:57,868 ♪ 36 00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:01,825 ‐ So, MODOK, I know you've been ignoring my emails. 37 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:04,120 ‐ Oh, I meant to tell you I have a new email now. 38 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,754 MODOK at Austin‐sucks‐butts‐dot‐edu. 39 00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:08,052 ‐ Why would it be an edu? 40 00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:10,415 ‐ 'Cause I just took you to school! 41 00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:11,842 [laughs dryly] 42 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,260 ‐ Clearly you're not responding to my management style 43 00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:16,719 so from here on out I'll be delivering you orders 44 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,060 via my sweet little puppy, Sherlock. 45 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:22,386 [high‐pitched voice] "Hey. I'm Sherlock, and people are complaining 46 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,852 "that you're not delivering their packages, 47 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:28,733 which makes me think you're low‐key not doing your job." 48 00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:31,652 ‐ First of all, Sherlock is an absolute little gentleman. 49 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,032 He would never say that. 50 00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:35,698 Second of all, look at his little scarf, oh my gosh! 51 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,737 Third of all, he would never say that. Now get out of here! 52 00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:40,581 ‐ [normal voice] If you can't deliver the mail, we're gonna have to demote you. 53 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:42,907 And I'd hate to demote you, 54 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:46,503 because then I'd have to figure out what's lower than this. 55 00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:50,169 Hey, Dillman! Sherlock's got some news for you. 56 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:53,220 [high‐pitched voice] "We saw some inappropriate images on your hard drive. 57 00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:57,085 Pretty ruff‐ruff stuff! The police are on their way!" 58 00:02:57,094 --> 00:03:00,394 ‐ Gary, I'm feeling some good rage right now. 59 00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:01,809 Let's channel it into this. 60 00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:03,927 Behold: a battle suit proportional to my head, 61 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:06,274 giving me the power to crush Austin and Monica 62 00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:09,020 and finally experience what it's like to have thighs! 63 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,282 Thick thighs save lives! 64 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:14,282 Or in the case, end them. 65 00:03:14,278 --> 00:03:15,568 [phone buzzes] 66 00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:16,821 Oh my God, it's Jodie. 67 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,872 This is the first time she's called since the separation. 68 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,866 This is a chance to impress her. 69 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,408 [shallow breaths] 70 00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:24,751 How's it hangin', duder? 71 00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:26,366 I'm blowing it, Gary. Think of something. 72 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,423 ‐ Oh! Say hello! 73 00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:29,587 ‐ Har‐low. 74 00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:31,295 JODIE: Oh, thank God. MODOK, I need you. 75 00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:32,625 ‐ Gary, it's phone sex. 76 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:33,919 ‐ [gasps] The sex you're best at! 77 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,762 ‐ It's not phone sex, MODOK. 78 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:38,337 Lou released a bunch of doves at his Bar Mitzvah rehearsal, 79 00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:40,353 and now there's bird shit all over the bimah. 80 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,055 The Rabbi is furious. 81 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,515 ‐ Nice. My turn. 82 00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,595 I take off your bra using only my teeth. 83 00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:47,441 And then my throat starts to close up. 84 00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,686 I'm clearly allergic to something in the fabric. 85 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,898 I fumble at your panties, but it's too late. 86 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,779 I lose consciousness‐‐ 87 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,815 ‐ Oh my God, just get down here and help me. 88 00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:00,781 ‐ Lou, what the hell happened in there? 89 00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:03,292 ‐ One dove corrupted the others. It's not my fault! 90 00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:06,995 ‐ The Rabbi doesn't want you doing weird magic tricks at your Bar Mitzvah! 91 00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,827 ‐ But magic's sorta my whole deal. 92 00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:11,042 I'm gonna pull rabbits out of yarmulkes, 93 00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:12,293 yarmulkes out of rabbits. 94 00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:14,424 And for my final trick: 95 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,551 I resurrect my foreskin... 96 00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:18,548 [spooky voice] from the dead! 97 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,970 ‐ Aww, honey, we talked about this. 98 00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,299 Your foreskin's in Hell. 99 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:23,684 ‐ Where it belongs! 100 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,560 ‐ And to celebrate my Mexican heritage, Mom, 101 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,438 I'll be a‐click‐clackin' around 102 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,435 in the heels from your quinceañera. 103 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:34,187 ‐ I didn't have a quinceañera, and those aren't my shoes. 104 00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:37,441 But if one or two of these ideas makes you happy‐‐ 105 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,864 ‐ Oh, I'm just warming up. 106 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:41,072 I want a loose hot dog bar with all the works, 107 00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:43,953 which means nothing but loose hot dogs and the water. 108 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:46,951 I want my boysmaids to wear denim jumpsuits. 109 00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:50,004 Oh, also I want boysmaids. And this is non‐negotiable: 110 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,578 I want Great‐Grandma Esther to do a reading 111 00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:55,754 from my erotic poetry about the green M&M. 112 00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:58,554 And those are just my safe ideas. 113 00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:00,049 ‐ [sighs] InStyle magazine was gonna do 114 00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:02,510 a feature on me planning this Bar Mitzvah. 115 00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:03,641 Maybe I should just cancel it. 116 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,887 ‐ I'm all over it, trust me. 117 00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:06,598 The title for that article is gonna be: 118 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:09,728 "Normal Boy Has Normal Bar Mitzvah." 119 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,646 [cooing, squawks] 120 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:15,515 ‐ [whispers] Shh‐shh‐shh. You're gonna be a big bright star. 121 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:17,863 ‐ Good luck. 122 00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:20,030 ‐ I usually only seamstress on the weekends, 123 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,318 but this is lovely‐‐ ‐ Shut up, Gary. 124 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,162 I'm trying to listen to my weird son. 125 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,077 ‐ "Ninety percent of magic's in the flair." 126 00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,236 David Copperfield said that. 127 00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:29,714 "Ninety percent of magic's in the hair." 128 00:05:29,705 --> 00:05:31,955 David Copperfield's hair‐plug guy said that. 129 00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:34,207 Now look in your pocket. [squishing] 130 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:36,089 ‐ Did you put creamed corn in my pocket? 131 00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:38,256 ‐ A trick and a treat. 132 00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:42,045 ‐ Gary, go get more fire extinguishers while I tamp down my son's individuality. 133 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,890 ‐ Yeah, I'm probably gonna go light something on fire. 134 00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:46,636 ‐ Hey, buddy, whatcha workin' on? 135 00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:49,268 Got any more magic for your old pappy? 136 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:52,136 ‐ Wow. To be honest, I thought you absolutely hated my magic. 137 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:54,484 ‐ Seems like I pulled a magic trick on you then. 138 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,109 Let me see your magic gear. 139 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:58,816 ‐ Oh my, I don't even have much today. 140 00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:00,397 Just a barebones kit. 141 00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:01,532 Magic hat. ‐ Of course. 142 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:02,318 ‐ Wand. ‐ Classic. 143 00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:03,411 ‐ Backup wand. ‐ Smart. 144 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,565 ‐ Deck of cards. ‐ Love it. 145 00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:06,453 ‐ 140 handkerchiefs. ‐ The best! 146 00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,290 ‐ Open can of corn. ‐ Necessary? 147 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,075 ‐ Sword of mystery! ‐ Mysterious. 148 00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,788 ‐ And a photo of you guys. ‐ Aww. 149 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,458 ‐ Because there's nothing more magical 150 00:06:13,457 --> 00:06:15,917 than the love and support of a good family‐‐ 151 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,128 [MODOK grunts] My gear! 152 00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:19,127 ‐ No magic at your Bar Mitzvah! 153 00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:21,419 LOU: But‐‐ ‐ Why can't you just be normal like‐‐ 154 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,465 [moans] 155 00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:24,887 Normal like‐‐ 156 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,795 ‐ Argh! 157 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,353 ‐ Normal like‐‐ 158 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:29,805 [gobbling] 159 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,476 Just no magic. That's final! 160 00:06:31,475 --> 00:06:33,385 ‐ If you think I'm afraid of getting dirty, 161 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,853 you clearly haven't read my letters to the green M&M! 162 00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:38,324 Who threw away this perfectly good swirling vortex‐‐ 163 00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:39,895 Ahhh! ‐ No, no, no, no! 164 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,740 Last night at Hardee's, now this! 165 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:45,905 Can there be one day this week where I don't dive into a garbage can? 166 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,566 Don't worry, Lou. I'm coming! 167 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:51,250 ♪ 168 00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:52,325 ‐ Ohh! 169 00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:53,329 [laughs] 170 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:56,040 ‐ Oh phew! Lou landed safely and softly. 171 00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,211 And now for me as well‐‐ [neighs] 172 00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:58,999 [grunting] 173 00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,508 [groans] 174 00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:05,005 Eat your heart out, Kerri Strug and Sully Sullenberger. 175 00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,928 There's a new lander in town. 176 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:10,467 ‐ Who knew my Narnia was just a trashcan away? 177 00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,852 Oh, it even has fairies! 178 00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:14,890 Ah. He's wonderful! [blade scraping] 179 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:16,103 ‐ Gimme your sneakers! 180 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,113 ‐ Stay there! I'm coming to get you! 181 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:20,725 ‐ Uh‐oh. Company. I'll be back for those sneakers! 182 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:22,942 ‐ Goodbye, fairy, I'll miss you! 183 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,743 Even the stabbing! 184 00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,606 Hey! My magic stuff! [creatures growling] 185 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,278 Ahh! 186 00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:31,203 Dad! ‐ Kobold goblins! 187 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,621 Lou! No! 188 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:34,079 Ohh! Ah! 189 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:37,415 ‐ Aw man, Skechers Step Ups? 190 00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:38,666 That's a stab! 191 00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:42,836 [chomping] 192 00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:44,208 [groans] 193 00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,625 ‐ Goat! Ahh! [bleats] 194 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,223 Oh, it's one of those fainting goats! 195 00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:49,218 [creaking, clanking] 196 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,719 Ugh, dang goat chewed my wires up! 197 00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:52,762 I can fix this. 198 00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:54,684 [straining] Oh, my back. 199 00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:57,353 The one thing on my body I can't reach besides everything else. 200 00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,402 [high‐pitched shriek in distance] Lou! My son! 201 00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:01,944 [grunting] 202 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,200 [shrieking] 203 00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:09,986 I got twigs in my just‐threaded eyebrows for you? 204 00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:12,202 [bleats] Well, at least you're friendly. 205 00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:13,621 [shrieks] Ahh! 206 00:08:13,619 --> 00:08:15,999 I can't concentrate on goats right now. 207 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,916 I'm trying to figure out a way to get around. 208 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:24,209 Oh, hell yeah! In Asgard, goats can fly! 209 00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:25,763 [bleats] 210 00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:28,426 I said "goats can fly"! 211 00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:31,545 [sighs] Did I get the only non‐flying goats in Asgard? 212 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:32,603 [bleats] 213 00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:34,256 Should I switch them out? 214 00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:36,644 No, no, I can't spend all day switching goats. 215 00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:38,732 Just gotta commit to these. 216 00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,687 [bleating] Dammit! 217 00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:44,732 I'm so nervous for Lou, 218 00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:47,363 I can barely eat this old slice of CPK pizza. 219 00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,662 OMG, it's Lou's A. I. M. visitor badge. 220 00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:52,616 We're on the right path, goats! That's right. 221 00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:55,196 I refuse to name you because I'll probably eat you. 222 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,832 Goatye! Billy the Kid! Dammit, I love them now! 223 00:08:57,829 --> 00:09:00,169 [cell phone buzzes] Oh crap, it's Jodie. 224 00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:02,705 Hey, girl. Things are all good here. 225 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,879 Well, seems like a natural stopping point for us to hop off the phone. Bye‐‐ 226 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,089 JODIE [on phone] No, wait! I'm just calling to see how Lou's doing. 227 00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:10,300 I know how important the Bar Mitzvah is to him, 228 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,800 and he's so fragile. 229 00:09:11,802 --> 00:09:13,602 ‐ Oh, he's fine. He's‐‐ 230 00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:15,135 Giant honking squirrel! 231 00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,638 [shrieks] 232 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:17,600 JODIE: I'm sorry, what? 233 00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,309 ‐ Yeah, giant honking squirrel. 234 00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:20,559 It's an expression. [giant squirrel roars] 235 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,601 It means "out of harm's way, totally safe." 236 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:25,194 You never heard that before? Wow, you're such a‐‐ 237 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:26,610 Frost Giant! 238 00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:29,568 JODIE: Okay, now I'm a "Frost Giant"? What‐‐ what does that mean? 239 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,700 ‐ Oh Jodie, you're showing your age. 240 00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:34,324 It's another expression, of course. 241 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,454 [grunts] 242 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,450 The point is, Lou's totally safe. 243 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:41,365 He's as safe as an‐‐ Even bigger honking squirrel! 244 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,628 JODIE: Well, now that I know that means he's safe, 245 00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,917 I guess... good? 246 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,131 Thank you for handling this. 247 00:09:49,131 --> 00:09:51,301 ‐ Alright, seems like we're wrapping up , thank God. 248 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,970 Just know that everything's‐‐ 249 00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:54,678 b‐b‐b‐bodacious hunks! 250 00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:57,971 JODIE: Okay, so I just looked up "Frost Giant," 251 00:09:57,973 --> 00:10:01,603 and I have never done that to an ice cream sandwich! 252 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,102 ‐ Once again I apologize 253 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:07,324 for how we all pointed swords at your horrible face. 254 00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:11,608 ‐ And I apologize for continually guessing your body fat percentage on the way over. 255 00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:13,492 It's zero, right? You gotta tell me if I'm close. 256 00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:16,988 ‐ We're on the hunt for the sorcerer who murdered our General. 257 00:10:16,992 --> 00:10:20,502 The only clue we have is the sorcerer's symbol. 258 00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:24,495 Each carries the same marking as the loathsome death box, 259 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:27,039 the cause of our leader's demise. 260 00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:29,254 ‐ I've never seen that logo in my life. 261 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:30,214 It's‐‐ it's cool though, right? 262 00:10:30,214 --> 00:10:31,634 I mean, it looks like it's by the same guy who did 263 00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:34,092 the Baskin Robbins logo, so it couldn't have been cheap. 264 00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,722 You know, they‐‐ they hide the number 31 in the Baskin Robbins logo. 265 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,100 You can see that, right? Have you ever seen that? 266 00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:41,016 It's so cool! But that logo, I've never seen that one in my life. 267 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:47,809 ‐ All I know is if we find him, verily we will clonk him up good. 268 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,864 ‐ Uh‐huh. Well, if any of you beefcake beauties 269 00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:50,978 want to join me on a quest, 270 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,954 I've gotta go mess up a bunch of Kobolds and rescue my son. 271 00:10:53,946 --> 00:10:55,736 ‐ Alas, we cannot. 272 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:58,199 We hast a thousand‐year peace with the Kobolds. 273 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,660 ‐ Because they're harmonious, peace‐loving creatures 274 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:01,911 who would never hurt my boy? 275 00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:06,502 ‐ No! Those freakish ghouls are an important part of the ecosystem. 276 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,380 They devour unwanted children... 277 00:11:08,377 --> 00:11:09,037 [shudders] 278 00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:12,054 ...allowing us to continue having unprotected sex 279 00:11:12,047 --> 00:11:13,587 without consequences! 280 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:16,090 ‐ Wow, hot‐‐ No, wait! Lou is unprotected! 281 00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:18,473 And I made him with sex! I gotta go! 282 00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,720 ‐ Fare thee well, horny troll! 283 00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:25,313 ♪ 284 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,600 [bird cawing] [owl hooting] 285 00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:28,484 [wolf howls] 286 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,520 ‐ Oh good, the trees are getting creepy. 287 00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:32,114 Must be close to the Kobold city. 288 00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:32,939 [rattling] 289 00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:35,863 A road paved with human skulls? 290 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,663 Huh! A little much. 291 00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,907 [gasps] Lou! 292 00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:44,501 Oh, thank God, it's not him. 293 00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:47,496 These bones are way too calcium‐fortified to be my noodly son. 294 00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:48,329 [Lou moaning] 295 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,753 A weak child‐like whimper. 296 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:52,171 Now that's my embarrassing Lou! 297 00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:55,967 ‐ Now for the main attraction. 298 00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,426 Everyone, please, please, please take a look. 299 00:11:57,426 --> 00:12:00,346 There's nothing special about this dental floss, is there? 300 00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,425 ‐ We don't even know what dental floss is! 301 00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:03,641 ‐ And in a few short moments, 302 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,020 I will fuse these two dental flosses together 303 00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:08,398 to make one dental floss! 304 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,605 ‐ I can't follow any of this! I love it! 305 00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:12,897 [Kobolds laughing] 306 00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:17,318 ‐ It's like a one‐way Lady and the Tramp, folks. 307 00:12:17,321 --> 00:12:21,911 [laughing] 308 00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:27,081 [gasps] 309 00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:31,126 Behold, a single floss! 310 00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:34,626 [Kobolds cheering, applauding] 311 00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:38,759 Oh, I'm so sorry. Can you fill in for a beat, Krawleen? 312 00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:43,466 [guitar strumming] [clears throat] 313 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,560 [screeches melodically] 314 00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:49,056 LOU: Hey, Dad! You look hungry. 315 00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:52,151 I can have someone bring you some Valhallapeño Poppers. 316 00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,437 What do you want? An Asgarden Burger? 317 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,650 How about nachos, Thor‐style, where they smash 'em up with a hammer? 318 00:12:56,652 --> 00:12:58,902 ‐ Oh my God, my poor dear boy. 319 00:12:58,904 --> 00:13:01,744 Look what they've done to you. Turned you into a fool. 320 00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:03,240 ‐ What? You mean my act? 321 00:13:03,242 --> 00:13:05,082 I've been workshopping it for my Bar Mitzvah. 322 00:13:05,077 --> 00:13:07,407 Now that you know that, do you think it's pretty cool? 323 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,162 ‐ No! I don't understand it. 324 00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:11,754 The last time I saw you, these things were going to eat you! 325 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,590 ‐ Oh, they were saucin' me up, flavorin' me good. 326 00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,796 I'm talkin' celery, onions, bell peppers, 327 00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,757 the holy trinity of Cajun cuisine‐‐ 328 00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:20,877 ‐ Just get to the part where they didn't eat you. 329 00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:25,014 ‐ I did that thing where I made one ball turn into two balls. 330 00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:29,023 And look at me now! Full residency at the Catch A Rising Kobold Theater! 331 00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:31,557 ‐ I was so worried about you only to learn that you've become the jester 332 00:13:31,562 --> 00:13:33,612 to some freaky‐ass goblin creatures? 333 00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:36,105 ‐ Actually, I'm doing really well. 334 00:13:36,108 --> 00:13:37,688 I'm making more than Krawleen. 335 00:13:37,693 --> 00:13:39,783 And she's Krawleen! 336 00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:42,448 [Kobolds cheering] 337 00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:45,027 ‐ No son of mine upstages Krawleen. We're leaving! 338 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,413 ‐ But, Dad‐‐ ‐ Time to go home 339 00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:50,210 and prepare for your traditional, non‐humiliating Bar Mitzvah. 340 00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:52,535 ‐ Why would I go home when I could stay here 341 00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:53,881 where I don't have to hide who I am? 342 00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:55,786 ‐ That was you hiding who you are? 343 00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:58,514 I'm constantly dealing with it! It's so in my face! 344 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:00,590 [snaps fingers] 345 00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:02,091 ‐ Throw him out. [growls] 346 00:14:03,427 --> 00:14:05,257 [grunts] [laughing] 347 00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:08,677 ‐ I believe I had two goats! 348 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:11,142 [goats shriek] These are them. Thanks. 349 00:14:11,143 --> 00:14:12,773 [goat bleats] I only had two! 350 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:15,109 I'm not keeping this goat‐‐ Goatis Redding. Dammit! 351 00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:16,975 Ahh, you're in the gang, and I love you forever. 352 00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:18,152 LOU: For my next trick, 353 00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:20,320 I'll pull a guitar out of Krawleen. 354 00:14:20,319 --> 00:14:21,859 [Kobolds laughing] [Krawleen shrieks] 355 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:24,572 ‐ I can't protect Lou if he's stuck in that goblin city 356 00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:25,783 guarded by those freaks. 357 00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,082 I'll have to take him back by force. 358 00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:28,825 Looks like the only way to save my son 359 00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,464 is to go to war with him. 360 00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,205 Well, I ate Goatis. 361 00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:38,300 Anyway, hey, Asgardians! 362 00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:41,255 Is this the sorcerer you're looking for? 363 00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:42,166 ASGARDIANS: The symbol! 364 00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:43,844 ‐ He leads the Kobolds! 365 00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:46,262 ‐ Then we go to war! [all shout] 366 00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:48,971 ‐ For the normalcy of my son's Bar Mitzvah! 367 00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:51,022 ‐ For the what of the what? 368 00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:53,056 ‐ For a deeply personal conflict 369 00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:55,350 that has nothing to do with you guys! 370 00:14:55,354 --> 00:14:57,734 [all shout] 371 00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:01,942 DAGR: To my beautiful wife, Astrid. 372 00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:05,034 The Great Bar Mitzvah Wars have dragged on for months. 373 00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:07,570 Know that if this great war takes me, 374 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,294 I want you to... never move on. 375 00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:13,495 I'm serious. If you do, I'll haunt you forever. 376 00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:17,254 KOBOLD: Life on the front lines is unforgiving. 377 00:15:17,251 --> 00:15:19,961 The only thing that gives me hope are your letters 378 00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:22,302 written in aged menstrual blood. 379 00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:25,797 If I do not return, dear pungent Gremelina, 380 00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:28,101 I know that I will miss every part of you. 381 00:15:28,387 --> 00:15:32,057 Your scaly flesh, the stench of your rotting teeth, 382 00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:35,847 the moles that line every inch of your mug‐shaped body. 383 00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:37,814 DAGR : But though we suffer, 384 00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:40,233 none suffer more than our great leader 385 00:15:40,232 --> 00:15:42,532 who carries the full weight of this war. 386 00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:44,696 ‐ [mimicking Lou] Okay, Dad. I give up magic. 387 00:15:44,695 --> 00:15:48,115 I like normal stuff now, like cars and toast. 388 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:50,235 [mimicking Sean Connery] Thanks, son. I accept your surrender. 389 00:15:50,242 --> 00:15:52,582 Just kidding, I'm gonna kill all these stupid goblins. 390 00:15:52,578 --> 00:15:54,038 Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew! 391 00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:56,037 I'm the man now, dog! 392 00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:58,169 [normal voice] How goes the battlefront, General Dagr? 393 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:01,456 ‐ We have taken great losses. ‐ Oh. I hate hearing that. 394 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:04,051 Should I reflect that on the table? Why are we losing soldiers? 395 00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:07,677 ‐ You took their shields away and melted them down to make figurines. 396 00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:09,046 ‐ Well, we didn't take their swords, though. 397 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,102 Let's take their swords and melt those down 398 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,636 to make shields for the figurines. 399 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,429 I don't want to make the same mistake with the figurines 400 00:16:14,433 --> 00:16:15,643 that I did with the soldiers. 401 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:16,562 [Dagr sighs] 402 00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:20,112 ‐ Lord, the other side hast offered 403 00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:22,435 to meet and negotiate peace. 404 00:16:22,441 --> 00:16:24,741 ‐ Peace, you say? 405 00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:27,742 [rumbling] 406 00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:35,954 [goat shrieks] 407 00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:40,581 [sing‐songy] I'm here for peace! 408 00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:41,964 [Kobolds growling] 409 00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:45,803 [rumbling, rattling] 410 00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:48,507 ‐ So... this war sorta got out of hand, 411 00:16:48,509 --> 00:16:51,429 and, uh, a lot of people sorta died. 412 00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:55,218 ‐ Wrong again. This war was always in hand, my hand. 413 00:16:55,224 --> 00:16:57,024 And a lot of people definitely died. 414 00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,437 And after this tank pops off, 415 00:16:58,435 --> 00:17:01,225 a hell of a lot more people are going to die. 416 00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:05,443 ‐ As a peace offering, I brought you these flowers. 417 00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:06,742 [goats shriek] 418 00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:10,994 ‐ Aah! 419 00:17:11,782 --> 00:17:13,622 Yah! [grunts] 420 00:17:14,368 --> 00:17:15,988 [goat shrieks] 421 00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:19,921 [groans] 422 00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:22,750 [all snicker] 423 00:17:24,837 --> 00:17:26,297 ‐ Go ahead, laugh at me! 424 00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:27,966 Just like everyone always has! 425 00:17:27,965 --> 00:17:29,375 [all sigh] 426 00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:31,763 That's right. Just go. Leave. 427 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:32,510 [Lou sighs] 428 00:17:32,511 --> 00:17:35,011 ‐ Here, Dad, let me‐‐ ‐ Don't touch me! 429 00:17:35,389 --> 00:17:36,429 ‐ Use this. 430 00:17:37,975 --> 00:17:41,765 ‐ This is... this is exactly what I wanted to save you from. 431 00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:42,770 ‐ What? 432 00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:45,981 ‐ I didn't want you doing magic at your Bar Mitzvah 433 00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:48,653 because... well, I didn't want you to feel humiliated. 434 00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:52,568 On account of magic being lame? 435 00:17:52,573 --> 00:17:53,783 ‐ Disagree. Continue. 436 00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:55,486 ‐ I worry about you. 437 00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:57,662 I worry about you being too much like me. 438 00:17:57,661 --> 00:17:59,911 ‐ I thought you wanted me to be more like you? 439 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,873 ‐ What? No. People hate me. 440 00:18:01,874 --> 00:18:03,924 I've been mocked all my life for being different. 441 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:04,837 [sighs] 442 00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:08,005 I want you to be more like, I‐‐ I don't know... Tony Stark. 443 00:18:08,005 --> 00:18:09,125 ‐ Your greatest foe? 444 00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:10,471 ‐ People like him. 445 00:18:11,175 --> 00:18:12,625 I want people to like you. 446 00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:13,973 ‐ Oh. 447 00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:16,429 ‐ One day, I'll conquer the world and create a utopia 448 00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:18,680 where no one can ever hurt you, but until then 449 00:18:18,682 --> 00:18:23,772 it's safer for you to like normal things like football or toast. 450 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:26,400 ‐ You're always bringing up toast. I like toast. 451 00:18:26,732 --> 00:18:28,652 ‐ Yeah? ‐ Yeah. 452 00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:29,690 ‐ Hey. 453 00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:34,163 ‐ Hey! Kobold justice demands public execution, 454 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,906 giant head man! 455 00:18:35,908 --> 00:18:37,988 MODOK: Lou, call my lawyer, Irving Champlain. 456 00:18:37,993 --> 00:18:41,083 If he doesn't save my life, it's freeee! 457 00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:44,750 [Kobolds snarling] 458 00:18:45,334 --> 00:18:46,924 [thudding footsteps] 459 00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:48,546 ‐ You don't have to do this. 460 00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:50,705 I can get you pewter figurines! You like pewter figurines? 461 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:53,844 I can give you all of mine. I have... 10. 462 00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,512 That's every last one. 463 00:18:55,511 --> 00:18:56,801 [all snarling] 464 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:57,853 Oh, please don't kill me! 465 00:18:57,846 --> 00:18:59,766 Alright, I have 6,000 figurines. 466 00:18:59,765 --> 00:19:01,765 You can have them all. Just don't kill me! 467 00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:03,227 My son needs me! 468 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:06,147 You gruesome son of a bitch, 469 00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,976 you're gonna saw me in half? 470 00:19:10,234 --> 00:19:14,454 Oh, you're gonna saw me in half. 471 00:19:14,446 --> 00:19:17,906 ‐ This man likes splitting our land in two. 472 00:19:17,908 --> 00:19:21,618 Let's see how much he likes it when we split his body in two! 473 00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:23,540 [cheering] 474 00:19:23,539 --> 00:19:25,959 ‐ [weakly] Nooo! 475 00:19:25,958 --> 00:19:27,078 ‐ Murder! 476 00:19:27,459 --> 00:19:29,499 ‐ You're killing me, you jerk! 477 00:19:29,503 --> 00:19:31,633 Oh, woe to be cut! 478 00:19:31,630 --> 00:19:33,300 Oh, to be sliced! 479 00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:36,718 Aww, you're cutting my stomach, and the food's coming out. 480 00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:38,258 I'm getting hungry again! 481 00:19:38,262 --> 00:19:41,772 ‐ He speaks so much! Saw his face! 482 00:19:41,765 --> 00:19:43,725 ‐ This is where the saw is! I've already committed to the cut! 483 00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:47,475 ‐ And we've come to the spine, which you'll never get through! 484 00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:49,269 Ah geez, you did it. 485 00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:51,979 ‐ Is he finally‐‐ 486 00:19:51,984 --> 00:19:54,494 ‐ Ahh, the adrenaline's kickin' in now! 487 00:19:54,486 --> 00:19:57,486 I could die for days! 488 00:19:58,282 --> 00:20:00,332 ‐ Dad. ‐ Alright, alright. 489 00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:01,945 Here's the big moment! 490 00:20:01,952 --> 00:20:04,202 Three, two, one. 491 00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:06,294 Countdown to my death begins. 492 00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:08,040 Ten, nine‐‐ ‐ He died! 493 00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:09,421 He just died right then! 494 00:20:09,418 --> 00:20:10,378 [all cheering] 495 00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:13,337 But wait! There's more! 496 00:20:13,964 --> 00:20:16,554 ‐ Holy shit! ‐ The legs are still kicking! 497 00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:19,140 ‐ We've become the monsters! 498 00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,561 ‐ You saved me! And it was so fun! 499 00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:22,925 ‐ You were a little hammy. 500 00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,181 I mean, I can be hammy sometimes with the magic, 501 00:20:25,184 --> 00:20:28,024 but you were moons over my hammy. 502 00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:30,020 ‐ Thank you! Now hug me, you‐‐ 503 00:20:30,022 --> 00:20:31,982 ‐ Abra‐hug‐dad‐bra! 504 00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:37,404 ‐ So I learned that Lou's strong in his own way. 505 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,574 And I managed to save my figurines. 506 00:20:39,573 --> 00:20:41,163 So it all worked out. 507 00:20:41,158 --> 00:20:45,038 ‐ MODOK, it sounds like there was a massive and senseless loss of life. 508 00:20:45,037 --> 00:20:46,827 ‐ Yeah, but I like magic now! 509 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:49,630 And I see my son in a different light. A positive one! 510 00:20:49,625 --> 00:20:51,375 So he's gonna do whatever he wants 511 00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:53,336 at his Bar Mitzvah whether you like it or not. 512 00:20:53,337 --> 00:20:55,877 ‐ MODOK‐‐ ‐ Fine, we'll diaper the doves. 513 00:20:55,881 --> 00:20:58,551 ‐ It's just that‐‐ ‐ Sew their buttholes shut? 514 00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:00,510 You're a monster, but it's done. 515 00:21:00,511 --> 00:21:03,511 ‐ Look, everyone knows I like to have fun. 516 00:21:03,514 --> 00:21:05,434 I'm the wacky Rabbi. 517 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:09,562 I wear yarmulkes with polka dots on them. 518 00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:11,231 ‐ Fine, you're fun. What are you getting at? 519 00:21:11,230 --> 00:21:13,650 ‐ I am worried about Lou's magic. 520 00:21:13,649 --> 00:21:15,479 He's supposed to be becoming a man, 521 00:21:15,484 --> 00:21:18,574 and I may be a silly Rabbi, but tricks are for kids. 522 00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:23,658 ‐ So you're saying the magic is‐‐ 523 00:21:23,659 --> 00:21:25,909 ‐ Is a symptom of a larger problem. 524 00:21:25,911 --> 00:21:28,831 Lou seems to be using it to push people away. 525 00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:32,170 I think he's having a hard time with the divorce. 526 00:21:32,501 --> 00:21:34,841 ‐ You're saying ban magic? ‐ No. 527 00:21:34,837 --> 00:21:38,467 ‐ So it's magic ahoy, set sail for magic? 528 00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:40,795 ‐ There isn't a simple answer here. 529 00:21:40,801 --> 00:21:44,181 All I know is your son is hurting. 530 00:21:44,179 --> 00:21:46,809 And it's up to you to figure out how to help him. 531 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,350 ‐ There he is! Coolest dad in the world! 532 00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:52,353 My best friend! 533 00:21:52,354 --> 00:21:54,064 So did you tell her what's what? 534 00:21:54,064 --> 00:21:56,284 That we both want magic at my Bar Mitzvah? 535 00:21:56,275 --> 00:21:57,565 ‐ Lou, I‐‐ 536 00:21:57,568 --> 00:22:02,278 [sighs] About that, let's just... talk about it later, okay? 537 00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:06,622 [leash straining] 538 00:22:06,618 --> 00:22:08,248 [shrieks] 539 00:22:08,245 --> 00:22:10,615 Yeah, you and me both, goat. 540 00:22:10,622 --> 00:22:12,082 You and me both. 541 00:22:14,751 --> 00:22:17,091 [electricity crackling] 542 00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:26,051 ‐ Well, this has been lovely, but I wanna go home. 543 00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:29,024 ‐ You have no home. ‐ Oh yes, I do. 544 00:22:29,016 --> 00:22:31,556 You're so negative. Just like your older self. 545 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:33,270 ‐ The family doesn't appreciate you. 546 00:22:33,270 --> 00:22:35,560 ‐ They're not that bad. We rib each other. 547 00:22:35,564 --> 00:22:37,484 I mean, I don't rib them as much as they rib me. 548 00:22:37,482 --> 00:22:39,692 I don't rib them at all actually. 549 00:22:39,693 --> 00:22:41,533 I do get my little barbs in from time to time, 550 00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:44,068 it's not like I don't‐‐ ‐ Shut up! I want to make you an offer. 551 00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:45,822 ‐ Is it for betrayal? I accept. 552 00:22:45,824 --> 00:22:48,744 They don't love me. I have no home! Is this where we live now? 553 00:22:48,744 --> 00:22:51,964 ‐ Well, I was gonna offer you what they never have: 554 00:22:51,955 --> 00:22:54,575 complete independence‐‐ ‐ It's fine, it's done. 555 00:22:54,583 --> 00:22:56,793 What did you have in mind? I say poison them. 556 00:22:56,793 --> 00:22:57,963 I know where their food is. 557 00:22:58,378 --> 00:23:00,088 [whispers] It's in the house. 558 00:23:00,088 --> 00:23:04,128 ‐ Oh, I have something much bigger in store for them. 559 00:23:04,134 --> 00:23:06,684 SUPER ADAPTOID: Oh, you should put them in those coffins! 560 00:23:06,678 --> 00:23:09,968 They'll turn into bones! This is going great! 561 00:23:09,973 --> 00:23:12,853 ♪ dramatic theme playing ♪ 562 00:23:12,851 --> 00:23:15,731 ♪ 563 00:23:22,319 --> 00:23:25,319 [choir vocalizing] 564 00:23:25,322 --> 00:23:28,202 ♪