Launch meeting.
Carrie Bradshaw!
- Hey, girl! - Hi.
Um, first off, I just wanna say
thank you for Zooming with me on a Sunday morning.
I'm just so f'ing backed up right now.
Oh, not a problem.
A Zoom any time for this book tour is,
ya know, beats flying coach out of Newark.
Hilarious. You're so f'ing funny.
Um, okay, so how much time have you got?
Whatever you need. I'm...
Forty, 45 minutes? Is that good?
Oh, God no. We don't need that much.
Let's just fly right through this.
Oh, okay. Okay, then.
Okay, so I Googled you,
- and it looks like you've written a shit-ton of books. - Uh-huh.
- Yes. - Okay, uh, "Sex and the City"?
- I feel you, girl. - Yeah, that was my first book.
Okay, "Menhattan"? Oh, I get it.
It's like "Manhattan," but with "men."
- Yes, yes, yes. - Hilarious.
Okay, uh, so tell me about your new book, "Loved & Lost."
Tell you?
I'm, I'm sorry, did, did you not read the book?
Oh, my bad.
I'm just so f'ing slammed
with all my other content right now.
But for my followers, what's it about?
Death.
Hilarious. Okay.
No, for real, what's it about? Go.
It's a book about my husband dying.
So, girl... what lipstick shades are you just loving right now?
Oh, thank God.
Oh, shit. Oh, no!
Oh, shit. Shit. My alarm didn't go off.
- What time is it? - Uh, it's 10 A.M.
- Fuck! - And it's Sunday.
It is?
Oh, wow. I have lost all my bearings
since becoming a nomad.
A nomad... in cute little pajamas.
How about we hold off on the fashion critiques
till after I've had my coffee, huh?
Sorry. I just wasn't expecting the hearts.
Yeah?
Well, life is full of surprises.
Yeah, that's true.
What are you working on?
My divorce papers.
- You're doing it yourself? - Yeah.
I mean, it's pretty straightforward. It's a no-fault divorce.
Must be nice to have a no-fault divorce.
Mine's an all-my-fault divorce.
Oh, my God! Rock's Ralph Lauren ad is out!
- Cool. - Really?!
- I gotta call Charlotte. - Nice!
Oh!
Hello!
Hi! I just saw Rock's ad! It's amazing!
Isn't it? We didn't even know it was coming out today
till Anthony showed up with 10 papers.
My phone has been ringing off the hook all morning.
Henry: Rock looks so cool!
- Don't they look beautiful? - Mom!
Oh, hush, "beautiful" is gender-neutral.
Rock star! Rock's a rock star!
So, this is what it feels like to be the good kid?
- I don't like it. - Hm.
I'm a model, too!
That's enough jumpin', baby, okay?
Daddy says... Ow! Oh, oh!
Herbert: Oh, shit!
Daddy said a bad word.
- Gabby jumped on Daddy's penis! - Oh!
-Okay, okay. Everybody, out. -Baby, get 'em out.
- Out... out. - Mommy and Daddy gotta get dressed. Go, go.
Charlotte, I gotta call you back.
Okay. Bye.
Hey, Mom, did you call your person at Nobu
to make that lunch res for me and Blake at one?
Oh, no, with all the Polo excitement, I forgot.
- I'll do it in a minute. - It's almost 11.
We'll never get in now.
Boo-hoo, you're 17 years old,
go to Shake Shack and call it a day.
I can't lose my virginity after a lunch at Shake Shack.
Excuse me?
I'm ready to lose my virginity.
I'm ready to lose my hearing.
And now, it won't be the perfect day that I had planned.
Why would she just announce somethin' like that?
Maybe with all this Rock excitement,
she just needed more attention? I...
Could be. I once set my little sister's coat on fire.
How bad is it? On a scale of one to 10?
Forty-six.
How could such a tiny girl have such big feet?
Just tell me, is it broken?
Because if it is, I'm outta here.
You laugh,
but I'm dead serious.
Deputy Mayor just confirmed
my Wall Street campaign event Wednesday.
Get ready to dazzle and shine
these guys out of their money.
Honey... the talk-back after my movie
at MoMA is on Wednesday.
You're still doin' that?
Yeah, my career? I'm "still doing that."
No, no, no. I just meant
why don't you come and say a quick hello at my event
and then you can go to yours?
Did it ever cross your mind
that maybe you could go do
a quick hello at your event
and then go to mine?
How's that pain level now?
Dick: 3. Fundraiser: 10.
You laugh, but I'm dead serious.
Sweetie?
I was hoping we could talk about
your announcement this morning?
Do we have to?
Well...
since you went public with the information,
I feel like I should follow up.
Um, Lily... could you please stop playing that?
It just... It makes everything seem so sad.
Thank you... Okay.
So...
today's the big day?
Not anymore.
Blake's parents decided not to go to Connecticut.
Be that as it may...
I'm just really glad that you opened up to us about this
because... my parents made sex seem like it was something that just
wasn't even up for discussion.
So, I've just always tried to be sex-positive with you two.
- Can I start playing again? - I wish you wouldn't.
You, you feel like you're ready to...
take this next step?
I do. I like Blake. Blake likes me.
I mean, we've known each other forever.
Okay.
Well...
condoms, obviously.
I have been hearing about condoms since the fifth grade.
- We're on it. - Good, good.
And... Lily...
I just really want you to focus on your pleasure
just as much as his pleasure.
It is important that you take care of your own needs.
Mom, stop, stop.
You have gone from sex-positive to sex-annoying.
Okay.
My computer literally leapt to its death
to get me out of that Zoom.
That's a good computer.
I can't even get mine to stop sending me
"sexy singles in my area."
She was a good friend.
Had her for eight years.
I like to believe she's in a better place now.
-Eight years? I upgrade my tech constantly. -Mm.
I already have the new iPhone.
Mm, the one that just came out?
No, the one that hasn't come out yet.
I'm a very loyal person.
I still have a travel agent.
And you're a very loyal person, too,
helping me pick out a computer instead of going to lunch.
I have to admit, I did invite you to lunch with an ulterior motive.
I need to ask you something.
Fine, you can have one of my kidneys.
- The left one. - Okay.
I have never asked another single woman to share a summer house.
I mean, it's just too tragic. Too "Bravo TV."
Seema, are you... proposing we go
to the Hamptons together?
I can't spend another weekend sharing a room
with a married friend's kid's surfboard.
But you and me with our own
two-bed, three-bath on the beach?
Fun, fabulous... not tragic at all.
I always dreamed you'd propose to me
in a, in a more romantic place than an Apple store, but yes!
Yes, Seema, I will spend the summer with you!
This is the one, right?
It's cold out.
Brr... come here.
-Come where? We both just came. -I know.
- And now I wanna cuddle. - Ew, cuddle?
Who am I, Paddington Bear?
I'm really not in a snuggle space right now.
Can we just... can we just call it a night?
Sure.
- Goodnight. - Goodnight.
Hey, this is Che Diaz wishing
Roary Upton a very happy birthday!
Uh, I'm sorry. What's happening?
I thought we said goodnight.
Oh, well, goodnight to you,
but I still have to record a bunch of Cameos.
- I didn't get around to them today. - Why?
What else were you doing all day?
Look, since I'm not up for going to the clubs,
these are the only way that I can make any money right now,
so... please don't shit on it.
I'm not shitting on it. Just...
What was that voice you were using?
Okay, that feels like a shit.
- It's... - Yeah, a big, steaming shit.
But since you're interested,
it's my "I'm pretending my life isn't over" voice.
Yeah, my followers don't know that my pilot's failed
and that my career is over so...
So, you're just pretending you're fine online?
Yeah, isn't that what social media's for?
- Is that a tit?! - Yeah, it is.
Yeah, sometimes they send me messages back.
What?
Don't be threatened. That tit's all the way
- in Arizona. - I am not th...
I am so not threatened. I am worried, Che.
- You've been moping around the apartment for weeks. - I'm sorry I'm not climbing out
of my deep depression fast enough for you.
- I... - Hey, you were the one who said that I should do things
- to make myself feel better. - I didn't mean Cameos.
I meant leaving the house.
You don't wanna go to the clubs.
I get it.
But at least go out and, and take a walk.
- Talk to a real, live person. - Oh, yeah, yeah,
'cause that's working out so well for me right now.
All right.
Hey, this is Che Diaz! This Cameo's for Kyle.
Congrats on that early decision, dude!
I just know you're gonna kill it
at the California Institute of Technology!
Unbelievable.
Oh, great... you're leaving?
- I... - Oh, another thing for me to feel bad about.
I have an early class. I can't sleep
- with you doing those. - Hey, come on.
- Come on, don't leave pissed. - I am pissed!
I...
W-Why do I get sullen, sad-sack Che
and some random tit in Arizona
gets all your smiles and all your charm?
Because I'm not performing for you, Miranda.
Is that the only part of me you want?
Che Diaz, fuck-boy and comic?
Don't talk to me like that.
I am here trying to help you move on.
I don't deserve that.
No, you don't.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Just...
Just try and leave the house this week, okay?
"Carrie Bradshaw Loves a Dark Berry Lip"
is the headline for her piece
on my sad and heartfelt memoir?
Forget about these internet interviews.
Thousands of women who have loved and lost
from every corner of the country
are coming to New York for WidowCon,
and you will be their queen.
It's rare to hear such a positive and a negative
- in the same sentence. - Two words:
Book... Sales. And they're gonna love you.
It's like a rock concert, but for sad people.
So, like a Wilson Phillips concert.
Assistant : Your three o'clock is here.
Send her in.
So, that's the event coordinator.
And, shh, do not call it WidowCon.
They hate that. It's actually called
"Life After Death: A Widow's Storytelling Event."
Ooh, God, that is such a mouthful.
- Yeah. - Kerry Moore: Knock, knock!
Carrie Bradshaw! Hi, stranger!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God, uh, Kar-Karen...
- Moore! Remember? - Moore!
'Cause I always leave 'em wanting more.
And I go by Kerry now.
Not a great time for white women named Karen, so...
- Amanda: Oh. - Oh. You changed your name to Kerry?
Yeah, Kerry with a K. Oh, hi, hello, Carrie with a C.
You two know each other?
- Yes! - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I didn't wanna tell you and ruin the surprise,
but we go way back.
We used to be writing partners.
- Oh. - Well, our literary agents
set us up in the, woo, the early '90s for, like,
- what, a month, right? - Yeah, we were writing a romcom for a big studio.
A big studio? Weren't we just meeting a guy at Starbucks?
He worked for a studio.
But someone didn't show up for our final pitch.
W-Was it him or me? I-I honestly have... I have no idea.
I was drunk a lot of the '90s.
And that's the kinda comedy
that would've made our movie a huge hit,
but someone left me all alone holding her mochaccino order.
Ohh, I sense that was me.
Even though I've never had a mochaccino.
Speakin' of coffee, I'm gonna go grab one
and let you two catch up. 'Kay?
Okay, thanks, Amanda.
Oh, my gosh. How mad were you when "27 Dresses" came out?
- I mean... - I... n-never saw it, so not at all.
Dude, they totally ripped off our script!
Remember?
Our main character didn't wanna wear
her ugly bridesmaid dress?
Well, I mean, the "bridesmaid experience,"
it-it's a, it's a pretty common movie trope.
Not the way you and I wrote it.
I mean, if only you had showed up for that meeting!
Damn me.
That's all in the past.
I... No, I am so excited you're doing this event.
I even pulled some strings to get you the main spot.
- Oh, thank you. - So... don't you flake out on me this time!
Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm really
sorry about all of that, Kare... y.
Ya know, I-I-I just wasn't a movie writer.
- Gah! No, you weren't. - Ooh.
No, I'm kidding. Carrie, I'm kidding.
But seriously, I need you to show up on time, okay?
I run a tight ship.
I will. I'm rarely drunk these days.
Oh.
Heyyy. How's it hangin'?
Che, I have a huge favor to ask you.
Che : Anything.
As long as it doesn't involve me exerting any energy.
Well, we have a problem because I need you to go with me to WidowCon.
What the fuck is WidowCon?
Carrie : A convention of sad women
who have lost the loves of their lives.
I lived in a loft like that once.
Carrie: It's the first time I've been asked to speak
in front of such a large crowd in years.
I'm nervous. And you're so fearless.
It's funny, I don't feel very fearless at all right now.
Carrie: I know it's a lot to ask.
Yeah, it is... for a pussy like me.
But yes... What the fuck? It's for you.
Thank you.
Besides, my mommy said I have to leave the house
at some point this week.
- Your mommy? - Che: Miranda.
Yep.
That silence speaks volumes.
- Hi! Welcome to Brooklyn. - Carrie: Hi!
- Thank you. - I'm making paella.
Oh! Well, as promised,
we brought the wine.
We've got a gorgeous Cabernet for us...
- Ooh. - And this imposter for Miranda.
- Beautiful! Come in. - Thank you! Oh.
It's beautiful.
- Warm Grape Kool-Aid. - Carrie: This is good.
That's what this reminds me of.
Oh.
Sorry, this is my soon-to-be ex.
I gotta respond to this real quick.
We had a bad breakup, so we're trying to have a good divorce.
What does that mean exactly, no restraining orders?
Seriously, do ya think you'll stay friends?
Well, I don't know, I mean, he's just been a part of my life
for so many goddamn years,
neither one of us can imagine going cold turkey.
So, we text about the Nets.
I think "cold turkey" is my breakup spirit animal.
I always thought that I would keep in touch
with my ex-husband, Trey, but he did not want that.
- Well, that's his loss. - Nya: Yeah.
Do you think that you and Steve will be friends one day
- after the divorce? - God, I hope so.
But we're still light years away
from even talking about divorce.
I'll know we're making progress
when Steve can actually make eye contact with me
instead of looking away like a puppy who's been kicked.
Nya: Well, one of you has to bring it up,
and I think that might have to be you.
Oh, no, no, no, no. It's gotta come from him.
I did the damage, so I just have to suck it up
and give him time till he can find his bearings.
I don't know if that's the best approach.
- Why not? - Just something he said.
What did he say?
Well, it was months ago, but he said that, um...
he would never take his wedding ring off.
- Till death do you part. - Ohh.
- That would be so romantic if it weren't... - My life.
- Why didn't you tell me? - Because I didn't wanna give you
another thing to keep beating yourself up about.
And the only reason I am telling you now
is to light a fire under you to go talk to him.
I don't think he is ever going to just...
ya know, wake up one day and magically
be ready to move on.
Can't we just skip forward
- to the awkward texting phase? - Hm.
Oh, I came across an ex this week
that I didn't even remember I had.
An ex-writing partner.
Apparently... the breakup did not go well.
In fact, I have more baggage with Karen
than I do with Aidan.
Done!
- Who's Aidan? - Her ex-fiancé.
Oh, this is something I'm curious about.
Do you still talk to him?
No. No contact. Not in years. Mm-mm.
Do you have any idea whatever happened to him?
Um, he's living in Virginia now.
And he got divorced five years ago.
And he sold his furniture company
- to West Elm for quite a pretty penny. - Oh.
What did we do before the internet?
I'm not proud of myself.
Oh, cute. What about this house?
Seema: Would you get real? Look at the square footage.
Just our bags and shoes
- need more room than that. - Oh. All right.
Well, ya know what? This is your world.
- You take over, it's all yours. - Gladly.
I mean, I was just being polite.
- I already found the perfect place. - Ohh.
Hey... where did the website go?
This new computer is fast. Like, too fast.
Whoa! Careful! Care-care-careful, Speed Racer.
Don't hit send.
Don't send what?
That e-mail I chickened out
of sending to an ex-boyfriend.
Oh, I have a bunch of those.
And they all start with "hope you're doing well"
and end with a screenshot of my bank account.
Mm-mm. Mm, no, it's... it's not like that with us.
I'd love to hear more, but unless he has
a steam shower and a two-car garage,
south of the highway, this isn't his moment.
Okay, it's back. Aaand here it is.
Oh.
Carrie... do you take this house?
I do.
Do you?
I already did.
Those fabulous rentals, they go quick.
Again... just being polite.
Hey, you're up early.
Couldn't sleep 'cause you're so excited about WidowCon?
That's why I'm calling. Have you looked outside?
Oh, it's so pretty.
It's supposed to turn into a bomb cyclone.
There's no way any widows are gonna be able to get in or outta town.
Well, they don't have to.
They've been at the Sheraton since Tuesday.
Well...
I-I think under these circumstances, you can cancel.
And, and by you, I mean us.
No, no, no, no, no. I can't. I can't. I can't cancel.
Kerry would never let me live that down.
Did you just refer to yourself in the third person?
Carrie: No.
Kerry's my old writing partner.
She runs the thing, and she's already
expecting me to be a no-show,
so I can't be a "snow flake."
I thought you were going to sell books
and read to grieving widows.
Well, that too. Please, please, please come.
I need you there.
I-I really wanna do a good job for these women.
Their husbands died.
- It's a mess out there. - So did mine.
I'll see you at one.
Thank you.
Hey, honey, where ya goin'?
It's a snow day, and I'm making hot cocoa
like I did when you were little.
I'm going to Blake's.
His parents got stuck in Connecticut,
so today is the day.
- It's perfect. - Oh, oh, okay.
So, today's the day. It's-it's happening.
- Bye. - Wait!
Mom, please don't think you're about to hug me right now.
No, I'm not g... I'm not gonna hug you.
I just had to move away from the stove 'cause it was hot.
Bye, Dad.
Where's she goin'?
She's going to do the thing that you said that you
didn't wanna hear about.
O-kay.
- Hot cocoa ready? - Yeah.
Damnit! They canceled my car service.
Oh, I'm sorry, baby.
But since you're all dressed,
now you can come with me to my Wall Street lunch.
What makes you think yours is still coming?
Terry booked a Tahoe. That thing could drive
through a nuclear apocalypse.
Plus...
it's got heated seats.
And, uh, you know you love those heated seats.
I am not gonna give up my event for a warm fanny.
Don't be silly. You don't have a car, you don't have a cab.
How ya gonna get there?
MoMA is honoring me as a Black filmmaker.
- I will take a dog sled there if I have to. - Okay.
-Well, okay, then. I'll, I'll drop you. -No, no.
I don't need a knight in shining Tahoe to get me there.
I can get there myself.
Okay... do you.
Yes, I will... do me.
It's Lily! One second. One second.
Ugh, Mom, we've already had to pause it
three times for Dad to pee.
Hi, it's Mom. Everything okay?
Blake doesn't have any condoms.
What? What happened to
"since fifth grade" and "we got this"?
I thought he'd get them, and he thought I'd get them.
Well, you tell him right now to go out and get some.
Lily : He's afraid the drugstore near here will tell his mom,
and she's not as sex-positive as you are.
Would you go for us?
- Rock: Dad! - I am not about to go out
in the middle of a blizzard to get you guys condoms.
Lily: Okay, okay. Never mind.
Blake Googled "how to pull out."
We can just try that.
Okay, bye.
Lily? Lily?!
Ooh.
Ah! Hello?!
Hello?!
Um...
Please, please, open up! Please! It's an emergency!
Closed! No one came in!
Please, please!
M...
My daughter needs condoms!
Please! Please!
Hey, Charlotte, I saw your two missed calls. Is everything okay?
Carrie! It's an emergency! I'm around the corner from you.
Do you have any condoms?!
Carrie : Okay. Why do you need condoms
and why do you think I would have any?
I don't know, you were having sex with that guy, Franklyn,
- and I-I just thought... - Thought what?
I was worried about getting pregnant?
No! I don't know, like, for STDs or whatever.
You thought I had an STD situation?
Charlotte: No, no! Of, of course not!
I've lost my mind trying to find condoms for Lily.
I've been to three drugstores and they are all closed!
Are you on a condom scavenger hunt in this weather?
Carrie, I'm her mother.
Wow. I couldn't even get my mother to pick me up after school.
Okay, well, best of luck to you,
and whatever happens, let it go.
We're not gonna let a little snow stop us, are we?
No, we are not.
- Attendant: Here's your ticket. - Thank you.
Che? Oh, my God!
You look like the guy that we used to buy our Christmas trees from.
That's the look I was going for.
- Yeah. - Well, that's a good look.
Oh, a vibrator?
Okay, okay. A vibrator.
Yep! The Widow Wand!
Our best seller.
- Che: Mm-hmm. - On backorder only.
- Ah! - Speaker : Right? Oh, my God!
Che: Oh.
Speaker: Oh!
All right, fun statistic:
One-third of women over 60 are widows.
And on Super Bowl Sunday,
the other two-thirds wish they were!
I lost my husband at 45.
He didn't actually die until he was 60,
I just lost him in an Ikea. Where is he?
She's like the "Don Rickles of Death."
Downside, yes, he is dead.
Upside, his mother probably is, too!
What is happening? Was I so busy deeply grieving
I missed the memo that death is now funny?
Carrie! You made it! I'm shocked.
Maddie Thomas is a tough act to follow.
Wh... I'm, I'm following her?
Yeah, now follow me.
Maddie: Downside, dead.
Upside? Ice cream for dinner!
- Downside, dead. - Carrie: Oh, my God.
My book doesn't have any laughs.
At most, maybe, a sarcastic smile.
You're a comedian, write me a joke.
Oh, no. No, dude. I-I don't think anything's funny these days.
Hey, and who are we supposed to date?
There's no one left.
Men die faster than the flowers you buy
at the corner deli.
You're next.
I think they're dead before you buy them.
My God. I'm gonna be the bomb cyclone.
Come on, I need a joke. One joke.
Okay, okay. The, the, the, the merch out there is hilarious.
- Mm-hmm. - So, um, maybe something like, um...
"The Widow Wand doesn't come with a life-time guarantee...
but then, neither did my husband"?
- Good! That's good! - Hm? Okay, okay.
The truth is, everything reminds me of him.
Except for that vibrator out there because,
oh, baby, if I'm havin' an orgasm,
my husband is definitely not present.
- Shit. - No, no, no. She...
Okay, she didn't say the vibrator name.
All right? Which, which is the, the funny thing.
- So... you know, it still might be good. - Maddie: Thank you, I love you!
Buy my book, "Ice Cream for Dinner," and remember,
- he may be dead... - All: But you aren't!
Well, I am thrilled to bring to the stage our keynote speaker.
The "New York Times" best-selling author
and the always hilarious Carrie Bradshaw.
I'm not hilarious.
Go get 'em! Yeah, you got this.
Hello.
Jeez, I-I wouldn't have come all this way in the snow
if I'd known the Widow Wand was on backorder.
Oh.
Well, okay, I'm gonna...
I'm gonna read from my book, "Loved & Lost."
First, Lisa, thank you for joinis .
Well, like my father, a playwright, always says:
even if there's only one person, you do a show.
Okay, let's talk about your film,
"The First But Not The Last."
The three Black women you follow.
- Mm-hmm. - Are absolute powerhouses.
I mean, what, what made you decie m
given so many "firsts" in our hi?
Well, thank you, Jennifer.
I decided to start with women who
broke down barriers in business, education, and law.
Women who were doing so
when the world was telling them,
"No, you can't. No, you shouldn't.
No, you won't."
I-I have a daughter and I want her to know,
I want all of our young people to know,
about the many unsung "sheroes" who built America.
The research behind this film,
it, it must have taken you years.
Uh, eight... years, actually.
Um... and I'm married with three children,
so it's a miracle that it didn't take 18.
Okay.
Lisa: But...
But...
it was important for me to make this film
because so many Black women
- still hear "no" every day. - Mm.
And it is my hope that this movie might offer
a little encouragement to them to keep going
if they aren't as lucky as those of us who get that support at home.
Mom, thank you so much.
Yes. Okay, I got you the assorted pack.
There is classic, thin, ribbed.
I would avoid using the warming one
- 'cause you get a rash really easily down there, rem... - Uh, it's cold
- and the snow is blowing in. - Okay.
- Thank you! - Okay.
"I thought that over time, my grief would shrink.
"That it wouldn't fill every inch of me like it had for so long.
"My sadness never shrank, but I grew...
"and grew...
"until I was so large,
"the grief just felt smaller.
"And then I realized... it was time.
"You don't move on because you're ready to.
You move on... because you've outgrown who you used to be."
Woo!
Ugh.
Hey, Carrie. Maddie Thomas.
- Of course. - That was great.
- Thank you. - And I wanted to say,
ugh, thank you for your book.
I...
I loved it.
I think I really...
just needed a good cry, ya know?
- I do. - Of course, ya do.
I do, thank you.
Come on. Let's sell a book or two.
Make sure to get in line for that ladies' room
'cause you know it's gonna be long, right?
I mean, look, it's all ladies here.
Seriously, Carrie, man, you rocked that.
- Oh, thank you for being here. - No, no, thank you.
- For what? - Some perspective.
I mean, you all had the actual love of your lives die,
and here you are, up for a laugh, like, moving on, you know?
I just had my ego die.
Yeah, and no matter how fragile I feel,
I-I need to move my shit on, too.
- Good. - Mm.
Good.
All right, I gotta go sell some books.
All right, I gotta ski home.
Both: Bye.
I'll talk to you later.
Miranda: Hey.
Uh, hey. What are you doin' here?
Oh, just finishing laundry.
- Where's Brady? - At Scout.
I decided to give him a couple of shifts.
Oh... he's working at the bar now?
Yep, he's workin' at the bar.
Got a problem with that?
No, not at all. Just new information.
Listen, I, um, I-I... I wanted to talk to you anyway.
How's the apartment search going?
It's not.
There is nothin' out there.
I'm not moving.
What do you mean your-you're not moving?
You said in therapy that you would find a place.
Yeah... I lied.
So, what now?
Because I can... I can't keep living like this.
Coming here, doing laundry,
dropping off Brady's medication,
cleaning the rotting Whole Foods leftovers out of the fridge.
- You said you would find a place, so I have been... - This is my house.
- My house. - Really?
You should tell that to the mortgage that has only my name on it.
I made it! This kitchen... I built it!
It was a shithole before I did everything.
I did everything here!
This floor, the fireplace, the fuckin' bookshelf!
You...
All of it is my house!
My house.
You never wanted
to come here to Brooklyn.
Ya never wanted me...
and you, ya never even wanted Brady!
So, why don't you go find a new place
and get the fuck out of our lives!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Miranda. Please, hey, hey, hey!
- You can't, you can't leave like this. - Oh, my God!
All right? I did not mean what I said about Brady!
It's just, you caught me off guard, okay?
- Listen, this isn't us. - I can't.
This is not who we are, okay?!
It is not who we are, okay?!
So, please, you can't get on a subway,
ya know, all cryin' and everything.
So, you know, just stay here with me.
All right? Till we calm down.
Please! Please!
I hate that I hurt you so much.
I know.
I wish there was something I could do
that could help us move past...
What's this?
What is this, Steve?
It's not what it looks like.
It looks like you've been fucking someone in our bed.
- Is it not that? - No.
I mean, maybe.
Let me guess...
the Whole Foods girl.
Of course, you would never buy organic
unless you were trying to impress someone.
I don't believe this.
I-I don't believe that you have been moping around here for months,
playing the victim, letting me do all the laundry,
and all the dishes and all that
while you were already fucking somebody else.
Who said I was a victim? That's in your head.
You moved on. I moved on.
- I ain't a fuckin' victim. - Great.
My bad. You are not a victim.
Which, which is so good
because I was so worried about you not moving on,
and guess what? You already have.
So...
I am happy for you...
happy for us.
I really am.
Okay. Well, uh, you enjoy
your locally sourced organic sex,
and, uh... I'll start writing up the divorce papers.
And... don't worry about me.
I will not be crying on the subway tonight.
Hi.
Hey.
Man,
I don't know how Steve and I got from loving each other
to this shit show,
but we should definitely have split up earlier
when we still had a chance to be friends.
God.
Well...
that's, um...
that's kinda what I've been thinking about you and me.
I mean, from where we are now...
this probably isn't gonna get better.
Yeah.
It's not.
Two back-to-back breakups.
I'm killin' it over here.
♪ Spent the year tryin' to get you to love me ♪
♪ Put your needs high up above me ♪
Carrie: And just like that,
I realized some relationships are meant to stay in the past.
♪ Spent the summer tryin' to get you to care ♪
♪ Bought new jeans and grew my hair ♪
Carrie: And some aren't.
♪ But when I needed you, you could never be found ♪
♪ So, this year's gonna be about me ♪
♪ Never will I have another reason to doubt me ♪
♪ This year... this year ♪
♪ This year's gonna be about me ♪
♪ Never will I have another reason to doubt me ♪
♪ This year... this year ♪
♪ Spent the year tryin' to get your attention ♪
♪ All my miles just to make a connection ♪
♪ Runnin' around just to get to you ♪
♪ When I showed up, you had somethin' to do ♪
♪ Met your mama and all your friends ♪
♪ Didn't know it was all pretend ♪
♪ Lifted you up, you were bringin' me down ♪
♪ But this year's gonna turn 'em tables around ♪
♪ So, this year's gonna be about me ♪
♪ Never will I have another reason to doubt me ♪
♪ This year... this year ♪
♪ This year's gonna be about me ♪
♪ Never will I have another reason to doubt me ♪
♪ This year... this year, oh ♪
♪ This year, this year ♪